I know that Jake said I'd post some fresh content today, but it just didn't seem right to revisit Pointless Pointless Pointless Pointless Pointless Pointless Pointless without revisiting how such an innovative database is queried. So, once again, let's turn it over to Jake:

This is the query we use to find a record in the database:

Email addresses are in the phone number field.  Website URLs are in the other phone number field.  This reminds me of my brief stint helping out after school at a hospital.

"Doctor, where should I put the penicillin we ordered?"


"Oh... kay... And the shipment of explosive deadly cancer poison?"

"Jesus, do I have to do everything myself?  It's very dangerous stuff, so we keep it in the freezer at the cafeteria and write 'FOOD' on the side.  Here's a marker."

Keen-eyed readers may've noticed where it says "networkingFromClause" in the above screenshot.  Why not just type out "FROM Cn"?  This next screenshot will clarify things.

Ha ha, you suckers thought that would actually clarify things!  MAN you should see the looks on your faces!

I know what you're thinking, but views are absolutely out of the question.  Just because.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll resume weeping quietly at my desk.

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