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Admin
I had similar experiences in my last job, which I put up with for 13 months.
Eventually, it got to the point that my team lead and I were at daggers. This guy was not a PM or a developer...just some military vet with the right connections and no education or training besides some on the job bash scripting, which he proudly referred to more than a few times.
It eventually got out that he didn't trust "the developers" to deliver what he wanted. He was also pulling requirements out of his ass; stuff that he wanted to see happen regardless of the clients' desires. To that guy, changing a link or button text was on the same level of complexity as reengineering half of the project, and so time estimates were obviously all over the place and pointless, but of course everything would be done within the x number of weeks that the sprint lasted.
Admin
To the inner quote: You can see iterative development as amortizing the cost of design over the time it takes to develop the system. Of course, it won't save you if your initial vision is utterly wrong-headed, but waterfall won't save you from that, either (and it may be worse in waterfall, because it'll become apparent earlier in iterative processes that your initial vision is TRWTF).
To the outer quote: TRWTF is your team's lead.
CAPTCHA: pecus. Software does not run on hocus-pecus.
Admin
Thank you for so accurately describing the last company I worked for. One observation; you seem to be suggesting in (5) that team leads and product owners have requirements that do not change from minute to minute. The hybrid will not meet requirements because they have changed significantly since yesterday.
Admin
"Asking "the right question" just before the answer is needed is critical. Asking it any earlier is an unnecessary risk. "
But how do you know when the answer is needed? You might ask the question and find out something that you should have known long ago, because people do not always answer other questions completely.
Once the question has been asked and answered, it needs to go into the formal specification as part of the design, so that if the answer changes it is clear where responsibility lies.