• Crabs (unregistered) in reply to Alex Papadimoulis
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    I'm standing up, looking around, and it seems I work in your old office. I don't see the picture, but everything else is spot on.

  • weirded verber (unregistered) in reply to 50% Opacity
    50% Opacity:
    Yep:
    I once owned a dog that was smarter than you.

    He must have taught you everything you know.

    can't have taken him long
  • Yep (unregistered) in reply to JD
    JD:
    I wish I could remember these Monkey Island insults so I can play along. All I remember about that game was having to ask the same sailor the same thing about 50 times to get something (but his response changed every time so you knew you had to persevere). And something about having to get some grog to a door before it melted the cup... oh, so very long ago.
    There's an excellent piece of emulator software out there that'll run these classic SCUM games on just about any platform. You can play them on your Nintendo DS if you were so inclined.
  • JamesQMurphy (unregistered) in reply to Rev. Creflo Baller
    Rev. Creflo Baller:
    You sure that book was from 1965 and not 1865?

    "Why, she's such a regular flibbertigibbet, it's like there's an autogyro in her shirtwaist!"

    "I say Fididous, great day to be doing squat thrusts and lifting our huge triangular iron weights! Hup! Hup!"

  • (cs)

    Are you sure that book wasn't written by the staff of The Onion? The prose reminds me of T. Herman Zwiebel's essays in which he would rant about whipping his manservant and avoiding "the nefarious ro-bot, Mr. Tin."

  • Stan (unregistered)

    One of my favorites is from a Weird Al song:

    If you get any dumber, we'll have to water you twice a week!

  • (cs)

    You're such a bore, you insult by book.

  • Maxx Delusional (unregistered) in reply to JD
    JD:
    I wish I could remember these Monkey Island insults so I can play along. All I remember about that game was having to ask the same sailor the same thing about 50 times to get something (but his response changed every time so you knew you had to persevere). And something about having to get some grog to a door before it melted the cup... oh, so very long ago.

    Here's some!

    PIRATE: This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur! SWORDMSTR: I've got a long, sharp lesson for you to learn today GUYBRUSH: And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?

    PIRATE: Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish-kabob SWORDMSTR: My sword is famous all over the caribbean. GUYBRUSH: First you'd better stop waving it like a feather duster

    PIRATE: My handkerchief will wipe up your blood. SWORDMSTR: My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island SWORDMSTR: I usually see people like you passed-out on tavern floors. GUYBRUSH: So you got that job as janitor after all.

    PIRATE: People fall at my feet when they see me coming SWORDMSTR: My wisest enemies run away at the first sight of me! GUYBRUSH: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

    PIRATE: I once owned a dog that was smarter than you. SWORDMSTR: Only once I've met such a coward. GUYBRUSH: He must have taught you everything you know.

    PIRATE: You make me want to puke SWORDMSTR: If your brother's like you, better marry a pig. GUYBRUSH: You make me think somebody already did

    PIRATE: Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will! SWORDMSTR: No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do. GUYBRUSH: You run that fast?

    PIRATE: You fight like a dairy farmer SWORDMSTR: I will milk every drop of blood from your body GUYBRUSH: How appropriate. You fight like a cow!

    PIRATE: I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle! SWORDMSTR: My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood. GUYBRUSH: I hope you've learned to stop picking your nose.

    PIRATE: Have you stopped wearing diapers yet? SWORDMSTR: I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape. GUYBRUSH: Why, did you want to borrow one?

    PIRATE: I've heard you were a contemptible sneak GUYBRUSH: Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all

    PIRATE: You're no match for my brains, you poor fool. SWORDMSTR: I've got the courage and the skill of a master swordsman! GUYBRUSH: I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

    PIRATE: You have the manners of a beggar SWORDMSTR: Every word you say to me is stupid. GUYBRUSH: I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.

    PIRATE: I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down SWORDMSTR: You are a pain in the backside, sir! GUYBRUSH: Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

    PIRATE: There are no words for how disgusting you are SWORDMSTR: There are no clever moves that can help you now. GUYBRUSH: Yes there are. You just never learned them.

    PIRATE: I've spoken with apes more polite than you are SWORDMSTR: Now I now what filth and stupidity really are. GUYBRUSH: I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

  • (cs)

    If it's public propery, why can't the skaters use it?

  • Mogri (unregistered)

    This book is available on Google Books for those who just can't get enough.

    http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&id=fEniykN6qfkC&dq=2000+insults+for+all+occasion&printsec=frontcover&source=web&ots=at0EC4Q1m-&sig=d_GMLVCTOJ3Nm7pxc7rG9Y8-W38&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=7&ct=result

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Robajob
    Robajob:
    She's willing, and so's her mother.
    Do you have their number?

    uhh, yeah yeah, me too!

  • Mogri (unregistered) in reply to Crabs
    Crabs:
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    [img]

    I'm standing up, looking around, and it seems I work in your old office. I don't see the picture, but everything else is spot on.

    It looks remarkably like my last workplace, but I'm guessing it's just because they got their cubes from the same place.

  • (cs) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    Robajob:
    She's willing, and so's her mother.
    Do you have their number?

    uhh, yeah yeah, me too!

    How about an address? Point Koomahnah.

  • Jokemaster (unregistered)

    So, is this where the MFD humor came from?

  • (cs) in reply to Crabs
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    Why is the picture on the right anonymized ?

  • James (unregistered) in reply to theillien
    theillien:
    If it's public propery, why can't the skaters use it?

    Perhaps this was meant as a joke, but just in case not: they are typically allowed to use it, but not to endanger others or to damage it. In many cases this has meant banning skateboard use on the public property because of damage caused by impacts from jumps, or due to complaints from people who were denied access / hurt by reckless skateboarders. It's a common case of the bad apples spoiling something for the more responsible.

  • BlueCollarAstronaut (unregistered) in reply to Mogri

    Cool! Thanks. And now, I still have my 35¢ for the snack machine.

  • anon (unregistered) in reply to my name is missing
    my name is missing:
    You do realize that painting is a genuine Gottfried Wiederlich masterpiece, worth at least $50,000 at auction?

    The best part is that if you google "Gottfried Wiederlich" the first result brings you right back here :)

  • Really Fearsome Pirate (unregistered) in reply to Maxx Delusional

    En garde! Touché!

  • BlueCollarAstronaut (unregistered) in reply to Mogri
    Mogri:
    This book is available on Google Books for those who just can't get enough.

    http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&id=fEniykN6qfkC&dq=2000+insults+for+all+occasion&printsec=frontcover&source=web&ots=at0EC4Q1m-&sig=d_GMLVCTOJ3Nm7pxc7rG9Y8-W38&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=7&ct=result

    err...oops. I guess I meant to "quote" instead of "reply".

    ...and "Preview" instead of "Submit"

  • BlueCollarAstronaut (unregistered) in reply to anon
    anon:
    my name is missing:
    You do realize that painting is a genuine Gottfried Wiederlich masterpiece, worth at least $50,000 at auction?

    The best part is that if you google "Gottfried Wiederlich" the first result brings you right back here :)

    When I Google searched for "Gottfried Wiederlich", the only result brought me back here...go figure ;)

    (Of course, I did have Safe Search turned on...)

  • BlueCollarAstronaut (unregistered) in reply to Monkios
    Monkios:
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    Why is the picture on the right anonymized ?

    It's not. That was just another great deal Alex picked up at a previous yard sale.

  • foo (unregistered)
  • davo (unregistered) in reply to Oh no you didint
    Oh no you didint:
    "Why, she's such a regular flibbertigibbet, it's like there's an autogyro in her shirtwaist!"
    Oh, snap!

    This sounds like something Gene Wirchenko would come up with.

  • (cs) in reply to Wongo
    Wongo:
    rpresser:
    grammernarzee:
    Please remember: Verbing nouns weirds language.

    Amplify it: Verbing substantives weirds speechification.

    Or: nounverbing pidgins.

    Bah, verbogeny is one of many pleasurettes afforded a creatific thinkerizer.

  • (cs) in reply to theillien
    If it's public propery, why can't the skaters use it?
    Maybe its in a different namespace?
  • (cs) in reply to halcyon1234
    halcyon1234:
    If it's public propery, why can't the skaters use it?
    Maybe its in a different namespace?
    ...or someone forgot to include the class?
  • Yawn (unregistered)

    TRWTF is that the highlighted comments are as stupid as the article.

  • (cs) in reply to Mhendren
    Mhendren:
    Bah, verbogeny is one of many pleasurettes afforded a creatific thinkerizer.
    Hmm... a voice crying in the bewilderness... nefarious and sundry insinuendo and unimportanta.
  • Aiwanei (unregistered)

    I actually grew up in Marblehead Massachusetts, and there was an Old Saying About Lord Essex, that 3 towns in Massachusetts were named after him, Essex (of course), Marblehead and Athol.

    There is also the common rumor (not sure exactly how true it is, everyone swore to me it was true, but could not find a written account of it) That Marblehead was named after rocks that sailors saw and swore that they were marble, when infact they were just covered in Seagull Poop.

    One last Marblehead factoid, it originally was a Penal Colony Setup for prisoners from Salem Massachusetts.

  • Aiwanei (unregistered) in reply to Aiwanei

    Forgot two other facts, H.P. Lovecraft's town of Kingsport was designed after Marblehead. And when George Washington crossed the Delaware river, it was soldiers from Marblehead that rowed him across, led my General John Glover (who I am related too)

  • Thuktun (unregistered)

    In English, when forming a gerund from a verb that ends in a silent "e", you drop the "e" before adding the "ing".

    For example, "hope" becomes "hoping", "whale" becomes "whaling", and so on.

    Thus, it should be "saling" not "saleing".

  • (cs) in reply to skin256
    skin256:
    The real WTF is that he doesn't like skateboards.
    Skateboarders are fags that think they are so cool because they listen to punk music and go against authority. Yay, you can be a complete ass and destroy public property with your board!!! You disrespect police officers and ditch school!!! YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOO COOOOOOOOL!!!
  • LEGO (unregistered) in reply to Yep
    Yep:
    50% Opacity:
    Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
    Why, did you want to borrow one?
    Would you really want it back when he was done with it?
  • Fungineer (unregistered) in reply to Thuktun
    Thuktun:
    In English, when forming a gerund from a verb that ends in a silent "e", you drop the "e" before adding the "ing".

    For example, "hope" becomes "hoping", "whale" becomes "whaling", and so on.

    Thus, it should be "saling" not "saleing".

    We're whalers on the moon.

  • (cs) in reply to Rev. Creflo Baller
    Rev. Creflo Baller:
    You sure that book was from 1965 and not 1865?

    "Why, she's such a regular flibbertigibbet, it's like there's an autogyro in her shirtwaist!"

    Egad! Would the moderator please move this one over to http://www.brassgoggles.com ?

  • K Eubank (unregistered)

    Speaking of yard sales, on Saturday I found a brand new 17" Gateway LCD...asking price, $10. I didn't even haggle for once.

  • (cs) in reply to Really Fearsome Pirate
    Really Fearsome Pirate:
    En garde! Touché!
    Would you like some crème brûlée?
  • (cs) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    Skateboarders are fags that think they are so cool because they listen to punk music and go against authority. Yay, you can be a complete ass and destroy public property with your board!!! You disrespect police officers and ditch school!!! YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOO COOOOOOOOL!!!
    Oh and you suppose they read TheDailyWTF?
  • (cs)

    personally I like to use a variation of the following:

    why don't you climb back up mommy's uterus and become stillborn.

  • Jason (unregistered) in reply to Thuktun
    Thuktun:
    In English, when forming a gerund from a verb that ends in a silent "e", you drop the "e" before adding the "ing".

    For example, "hope" becomes "hoping", "whale" becomes "whaling", and so on.

    Thus, it should be "saling" not "saleing".

    You should sale some English books. Maybe have a sell. You know, knock 10% off for those who know the difference between nouns and verbs.

    </pedantic nonsense>

  • Christopher (unregistered)

    TRWTF is people attempting to correctify Alex's intentional grammarficationary vermissilitude.

  • JUST ANOTHER WTF (unregistered) in reply to galgorah
    galgorah:
    personally I like to use a variation of the following:

    why don't you climb back up mommy's uterus and become stillborn.

    You are the Pro Choice poster child.

  • (cs)

    Anybody remember Mad Magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions?" Reminds me of that.

  • Anonymous Cowherd (unregistered)

    "Some people say you're over the hill. But you'll never get over the hill... not in that car you drive!"

    Norm MacDonald @ the roast of Bob Saget. Brilliant man.

  • convicted felon (unregistered) in reply to Smash King

    [quote user="amischiefr"]Skateboarders are fags that think they are so cool because they listen to punk music and go against authority. Yay, you can be a complete ass and destroy public property with your board!!! You disrespect police officers and ditch school!!! YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOO COOOOOOOOL!!!

    Disrespecting the police is cool.

  • (cs) in reply to Fungineer
    Fungineer:
    Thuktun:
    In English, when forming a gerund from a verb that ends in a silent "e", you drop the "e" before adding the "ing".

    For example, "hope" becomes "hoping", "whale" becomes "whaling", and so on.

    Thus, it should be "saling" not "saleing".

    We're whalers on the moon.

    We carry a harpoon.

  • panzi (unregistered)

    Wtf does MFD mean? Its nothing of that, I guess: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MFD

  • blunder (unregistered) in reply to panzi

    Wow, that made my day. There's life after death guys! Hope after MFD.

    (Anyway, you don't want to know)

  • Bob (unregistered)

    This reminds me of the following xkcd comic: http://xkcd.com/172/

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