The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

$$ERR:get_name_fail:
Visual Studio 2010 developers really think of everything.
They are not just checking for errors caused by a CPU malfunction, they even were thoughtful enough to identify that the cause is a meltdown in the 3rd CPU core.

Did you remember to catch CPUMeltdownException in your last program? No? See how much you can learn from Microsoft developers!

I'm willing to bet that if someone ever posted a picture of a collapsed birdhouse, there'd be someone in here declaring it was because they used the wrong brand of fucking hammer.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

Jack:
Why do you think the prices keep changing so often? It isn't because the costs are changing that much. They are testing you, and every other shopper, to see just how much you will swallow. It used to be they had to set one price for everyone, but now, they can slice the market up into razor thin segments and extract the maximum possible from each one.
The OP is right. They're evil.

I agree that they're evil, but is this really the reason why? Let me just play Devil's advocate for a moment: This seems to be a good way to make the market more efficient. The supermarket still can't price the market to customer #1985763278, but they can work out how best to price goods to maximize sales - that is, to put the price at a point where the most people will think "oh, that's fair." Yes, they make more money this way - but they do it by setting prices so as to satisfy more customers, and that doesn't seem very evil to me.

If the customer doesn't want to buy that 12-pack of soda, guess what? Nobody can make them do it.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
If the customer doesn't want to buy that 12-pack of soda, guess what? Nobody can make them do it.

Unless the "seller" is the government, and the "product" is is a perpetual revenue stream for big corporations, like, say, health insurance*. Then, yeah, they can force you to buy the product with the full weight of the most powerful country in the world behind them if you resist.

Let's keep our focus on where the true evil lies.

(* P.S. Health care != health insurance. You don't buy grocery insurance do you? Yet everyone needs food to live! Since it is such an important need, shouldn't we force you to buy grocery insurance?)

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

I'd pay it to not have to deal with supermarket tracking.

Just exchange your supermarket cards with random people. Use ones found in the parking lot. Request new ones every month or two.

pitchingchris · 2012-06-25 Reply Admin

Don't accidently push ok and credit your account 5 million.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

iK the Alcoholic:
I'd pay it to not have to deal with supermarket tracking.

I have a QFC Advantage card, and I gave them zero personal information. I didn't give fake info, either - you just have to ask for a card and they'll give you one without making you fill in the form.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

For those of you whose heads hurt from the first item but who haven't quite figured out what it's supposed to say, I present the corrected version: "They must really want your marketing information; that steak sure costs a lot if you want to buy it anonymously."

Also, the super powers conferred by the T-shirt are clearly the ability to bend the rules of mathematics. How else could $91,299.00 -> $6.49 be a 100% reduction?

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

don'tseeanythngwrongwththeletterfromMchganStateUnversty.

What'swrongwtht?

PedanticCurmudgeon · 2012-06-25 Reply Admin

Paul:
Unless the "seller" is the government, and the "product" is is a perpetual revenue stream for big corporations, like, say, health insurance*. Then, yeah, they can force you to buy the product with the full weight of the most powerful country in the world behind them if you resist.
Let's keep our focus on where the true evil lies.

(* P.S. Health care != health insurance. You don't buy grocery insurance do you? Yet everyone needs food to live! Since it is such an important need, shouldn't we force you to buy grocery insurance?)

True evil, you say? How about this for starters?

OMG health care is SO expensive!
I know, let's have someone else pay for it!
....
Profit!

I suppose it would be out of the question to find out why health care is expensive and fix that instead.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

@Deprecated:
The MSU one reminds me of a compression algorithm that was presented in my first C book, "C Primer Plus".
It was a simple and efficient algorithm: discard every 2nd and 3rd character.

It even came with an example: "So even Eddy came oven ready" Try it yourself... Stupid Akismet won't let me post the 'compressed' string.

Reconstructing the original message is a real bitch, tho.

Not really, scan the dictionary for words that fit, then use bigram and trigram frequencies to pick some reasonably English-ish combinations; it'll be good enough for most clients.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

PedanticCurmudgeon:
I suppose it would be out of the question to find out why health care is expensive and fix that instead.

"X is expensive" == "I could make a lot of money by selling X".

So why don't some of us quit our lousy programming jobs and go into healthcare?

Oh yeah that's right you can't. Not without permission. Lots of permission. Licenses. Certificates. Inspections. Regulations. Standards. Guidelines.

And where do all those come from? Hmmm... I remember now, it is the same people whining that "OMG health care is SO expensive therefore we need somebody else to pay for it!"

Force is the problem. Freedom is the solution.

Matt Westwood · 2012-06-25 Reply Admin

Paul:
trtrwtf:
If the customer doesn't want to buy that 12-pack of soda, guess what? Nobody can make them do it.
Unless the "seller" is the government, and the "product" is is a perpetual revenue stream for big corporations, like, say, health insurance*. Then, yeah, they can force you to buy the product with the full weight of the most powerful country in the world behind them if you resist.
Let's keep our focus on where the true evil lies.

(* P.S. Health care != health insurance. You don't buy grocery insurance do you? Yet everyone needs food to live! Since it is such an important need, shouldn't we force you to buy grocery insurance?)

Mind you, the trivial sort of shit that people go to the emergency room for makes me piss myself with jeering laughter. No fucking health insurance for me because I'm not a sickly bag of psychosomatic hypochondria. Now FOAD.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

blank:
Jack:
Jellineck:
I forget:
Those "advantage" type cards are evil and aught to be illegal.
I know. I can't imagine what kind of junk mail the guy that lives at 666 Mulberry Lane is getting from 15 years of using my card at the grocery store.
Oooh! You're so clever lying to the store, its a wonder no one else ever thought of that before!
Got news for you. You're still getting screwed. The reason those cards are so valuable to the marketers (aside from junk mail) is that by assigning a unique ID to each purchase and purchaser, they can figure out exactly how much you're willing to pay for a 12-pack of Diet Coke. Sure they can make it and sell it at a profit for $1.25 but why should they sell it to you at that price when they know that you are willing to pay $4.99?

And how do they know that?

Because when they have a sale most people load up but not you, no, you just keep buying your same 12 pack every week. And when the sale is over most people stop buying but you just keep grabbing that same 12 pack every week. The only week you didn't was when they let it go up to $5.29. That was a test. If you'd bought one that week you can be sure that price would come around again some day -- just for your benefit.

And so on for every other product in the store.

They use those cards to figure out how many people are in your house, and their approximate age and gender. They know whether you go for the cheap fatty ground beef or the premium steak. So they have a good idea of your income bracket too. Most likely they know more about your financial and consumption habits than you do. And they can do all of that without ever needing to know who you really are. They don't care who you really are. They only care that "customer 1985763278 can be regularly screwed out of $17.32 per week". That's why your data is valuable to them, and they're willing to pay you to hand it over.

Why do you think the prices keep changing so often? It isn't because the costs are changing that much. They are testing you, and every other shopper, to see just how much you will swallow. It used to be they had to set one price for everyone, but now, they can slice the market up into razor thin segments and extract the maximum possible from each one.

The OP is right. They're evil.

agree. maybe use multiple (fake id) "loyalty" cards with each company?

are they doing facial recognition from cctv too (yet)? i guess it's back to balaclavas for the 'noids and "it's 1984" brigade. or are they illegal now?

considers creating fake id email handling (spam rebound) service

And those bastards made me apply for their card too! The nice cashier at Target tied me down while they Jack-Bauer-style tortured me until I took their card. I couldn't say "no" ... I had to opt in.

For all those people who are willing to trade purchasing data for a small discount -- screw them. I don't like the deal, so NO ONE should have it.

And dammit, I just realize I fed the trolls again.

2012-06-25 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Mind you, the trivial sort of shit that people go to the emergency room for makes me piss myself with jeering laughter. No fucking health insurance for me because I'm not a sickly bag of psychosomatic hypochondria. Now FOAD.

Now just make sure you stay away from anyone else who has cancer, and you're good to go! Healthy for life!

That's how cancer works, right?

...

RichP · 2012-06-25 Reply Admin

P. Almonius:
Recursive Reclusive:
I'm not seeing the superpower connection on the previously expensive tshirt.
I saw someone today in a tshirt with a logo saying "Zip". I wonder if it's slimming, and "Rar" brand is even more effective.

Zip guy? I know him! I met him years ago. Now every time I see him he asks me for money.

2012-06-26 Reply Admin

"There is no 'I' in Michigan State University."

Wait, what?

2012-06-26 Reply Admin

Jack:
They can figure out exactly how much you're willing to pay for a 12-pack of Diet Coke. Sure they can make it and sell it at a profit for $1.25 but why should they sell it to you at that price when they know that you are willing to pay $4.99?
[...]

So they have a good idea of your income bracket too. Most likely they know more about your financial and consumption habits than you do. And they can do all of that without ever needing to know who you really are. They don't care who you really are. They only care that "customer 1985763278 can be regularly screwed out of $17.32 per week". That's why your data is valuable to them, and they're willing to pay you to hand it over.

I don't get it.

They cannot possibly sell you the Diet Coke for $4.99 and sell them to everyone else for a lower price. So why should they care how much you are willing to pay? They should care how much the average customer who comes to their store is willing to pay. And they don't need advantage cards for that.

2012-06-26 Reply Admin

Paul:
trtrwtf:
If the customer doesn't want to buy that 12-pack of soda, guess what? Nobody can make them do it.
Unless the "seller" is the government, and the "product" is is a perpetual revenue stream for big corporations, like, say, health insurance*. Then, yeah, they can force you to buy the product with the full weight of the most powerful country in the world behind them if you resist.
[etc etc]

You do know that they already invented this thing called "taxes" a long time ago that function in an equivalent way right?

2012-06-26 Reply Admin

Yes it's real.

2012-06-26 Reply Admin

Captcha:vulputate:
I don't get it.
They cannot possibly sell you the Diet Coke for $4.99 and sell them to everyone else for a lower price.

But that's exactly what they do!

Week 1

Poor Paul: Damn, that $4.99 Coke is expensive! I'm not buying any.

Rich Ralph: ... and I'll need another 12 pack of Coke ...

Week 2

Poor Paul: $1.99! Hot diggity! Load up!

Rich Ralph: ... and I'll need another 12 pack of Coke ...

Why do you think the prices keep changing every week or two? The store knows "If we jack the price up to $4.99, 75 customers will still buy it. Then when we lower the price again everybody else will buy."

PiisAWheeL · 2012-06-26 Reply Admin

Jack:
Captcha:vulputate:
I don't get it.
They cannot possibly sell you the Diet Coke for $4.99 and sell them to everyone else for a lower price.
But that's exactly what they do!

Week 1

Poor Paul: Damn, that $4.99 Coke is expensive! I'm not buying any.

Rich Ralph: ... and I'll need another 12 pack of Coke ...

Week 2

Poor Paul: $1.99! Hot diggity! Load up!

Rich Ralph: ... and I'll need another 12 pack of Coke ...

Why do you think the prices keep changing every week or two? The store knows "If we jack the price up to $4.99, 75 customers will still buy it. Then when we lower the price again everybody else will buy."

You are forgetting about another phenomenom... Some people shop there every week. They go in and have a set list of things they need. Maybe 1 week, a different brand of cheese is on sale, so they try it. After all, its half off. Maybe they like it better, and they start buying that brand, even after the price goes back up.

Also, not everything you buy is on sale all the time. If you have coupons or know that half of your list is on sale, you go in and get everything you need. The next week, a different set of items is on sale, so you still have motivation to go into the store, even if you don't save money on some items you will save on others. The store basically uses that marketing strategy instead of just charging say, 15% cheaper across the board, because those saving seem like a good idea and it gets you to GO INTO THE STORE.

You ever seen a frys electronics ad? They have random shit in there that you just know they are losing money on, with a quantity limit. They know that once you are inside, you will spend money on things you did not come there to buy, and you will probably pay full retail for them if you want them bad enough. That is why different items go on sale on different weeks.

They don't really give a fuck about paul and ralph. Just that they got both of them to go into the store with the sale price so that they spend their money with the store.

2012-06-26 Reply Admin

TRWTF here is in the calories submission.

Not the obvious math fail, but the wholly mindnumbing suggestions on how to burn calories.

Well, obviously not to me, though, as I'm one of the millions of people now crazing over the new fad: treading water. It's fun, and it takes up less space in the pool, so more people can fit in it at one time! Plus, if you pee in the water, the treading and the amount of people in your vicinity makes it virtually impossible to pinpoint you as the culprit.

Oh wait, it says vigorous treading — well, then I'm out, can't stand treading with all those athletes tread training for the olympics. Too much pressure.

Guess I'll just burn those calories on my unicycle instead — it says only five minutes.

2012-06-27 Reply Admin

The best beef loin is usually made from "inspected and passed meat and/or poultry".

rerigerated -- [[consonant][vowel]]*

2012-07-01 Reply Admin

lol looks like you better take the advantage price of $3.00 it looks like the other price was for the whole cow lol too funny!

2012-07-09 Reply Admin

SAGE.

(Oh this wasn't an imageboard?)

Advantage Pricing

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