• Warren (unregistered)

    The frist one is not an error. Please could all daily wtf readers that send "only" 4 cents to me, if there are 10,000 I would be very pleased.

  • M2 (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that Matt uses the word 'bent'. "The message and dates are in English, except they've been 'bent' as if they were Finnish"

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inflection

  • Jeremy French (unregistered)

    Is Steam especially buggy, or are TDWTF readers a bunch of lazy layabouts who spend all day playing games?

  • Jasper (unregistered)

    Wesley C., you get a game and you also receive $21.00 for free on your bank account with it (since the price is negative), and you still think it's too expensive?

    I'd quickly buy it 1000 times!

  • Swedish tard (unregistered) in reply to Jeremy French
    Jeremy French:
    Is Steam especially buggy, or are TDWTF readers a bunch of lazy layabouts who spend all day playing games?

    It's a bit quirky, though it works better than the other DRM i've been the victim of.

  • Swedish tard (unregistered) in reply to M2
    M2:
    The real WTF is that Matt uses the word 'bent'. "The message and dates are in English, except they've been 'bent' as if they were Finnish"

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inflection

    Not really. Being finnish, I bet inflection is called bending in his native language. I know it is in swedish, and we've had a fair bit of time to influence the finnish. :D Calling it "bend" with quotation marks is on the same level of them merkins calling it smoergosbord when it's supposed to be smörgåsbord. Damn retards.

  • (cs)

    They seemed to get one thing right - nobody reads the terms and conditions anyway....

  • (cs) in reply to Jeremy French

    These aren't mutually exclusive.

    I've reached a point where I can't actually buy things via the in-application browser. Instead, I have to buy it on the website and then download via the steam client. Usually if I change the server the client tries to connect to, it fixes the issue, but why do that much work?

  • jugis (unregistered)

    "Kevin asks, "If I agree does that mean Valve can make up the agreement later and I'd be bound by it?""

    No, it means you're bound by the terms that you agreed to when you pressed the Agree button. ie None.

    Or if you're in the UK you can just not care as software terms and conditions aren't legally binding contracts over here.

  • TheSHEEEP (unregistered)

    Steam is certainly not especially buggy, but it is an incredibly complex piece of software, so bugs happen. And some of them are rather funny.

    But except that "Steam not found" I find none of them to be great WTFs.

  • Woody (unregistered)

    The 30Kb/s thing definately isn't such a WTF: Look closer and you'll see it's 30KB(ytes)/s.

    Same thing caught me out when I went crazy trying to work out why my 10Mb/s connection was only getting 1.25MB/s on Steam downloads. I felt pretty stupid when I worked it out.

  • Joey (unregistered)

    The real WTF is how many people use Steam.

  • Dave (unregistered)

    WTF is Steam anyway?

  • onitake (unregistered)

    The #text_placeholders are a bug I've seen many times myself. My guess is they happen when they update language files while not all of the website is already in sync.

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Dave
    Dave:
    WTF is Steam anyway?
    Would have been quicker to spend two seconds on wikipedia than posting here...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steam_%28disambiguation%29

    Pick the software one...

    Captcha: minim. A minim spent on wikipedia saves several minims posting on forums.

  • macmac (unregistered) in reply to Jeremy French
    Jeremy French:
    Is Steam especially buggy, or are TDWTF readers a bunch of lazy layabouts who spend all day playing games?

    It's quite buggy. People loathed it right from day one because of the many, many bugs it launched with. It was released with Half Life 2. HL2 came on a disk, but it took some people DAYS to simply try installing it, because steam just wasn't up to the task.

    It's the prime example of why "always on" DRM is the ultimate evil.

  • Yankee (unregistered) in reply to Swedish tard
    Swedish tard:
    them merkins calling it smoergosbord when it's supposed to be smörgåsbord.
    Hey! We don't need no stinkin' condoms over our letters. If 26 ASCII characters were enough to write the Bible, 26 ASCII characters are enough for me.
  • Dude McPerson (unregistered) in reply to macmac
    macmac:
    It's the prime example of why "always on" DRM is the ultimate evil.

    If you think Steam is a "prime example" of ultimate evil, might I suggest you look into Origin and whatever crap Ubisoft uses.

  • Grump (unregistered)

    Who the hell has time to play games?

    Or post on stupid boards for that matter?

  • Buzz (unregistered)

    The "steam cloud" sounds like a very hot place. Dangerous to store any important files there, especially if they just get out of sync anyhow. Probably melted.

  • Andrew (unregistered) in reply to onitake
    onitake:
    The #text_placeholders are a bug I've seen many times myself. My guess is they happen when they update language files while not all of the website is already in sync.
    Me too. I had added someone as a friend, and the friend added message appeared on the page, and it had #Friend_added or something. I was about to send it in as a bug, but then I couldn't find a bug submission facility anywhere without creating an entirely new login just for the purposes of telling them. Didn't feel worth it for such a minor issue.
  • (cs) in reply to Yankee
    Yankee:
    Hey! We don't need no stinkin' condoms over our letters. If 26 ASCII characters were enough to write the Bible, 26 ASCII characters are enough for me.

    Original Bible, i.e. Hebrew (בראשית) and Greek (Καλήμερον, ἦλθες)?

  • Daniel (unregistered)

    The last one is an extremely common occurrence for anyone who mixes locale settings, and all popular OSes of today, including the mobile ones, allow you to do that.

  • (cs) in reply to Warren

    For the first one... the publisher sets the prices, not really Steam's fault here. Sometimes they forget to put bundles on sale at the same time as individual games so the bundle costs MORE.

    The download thing is caused by Steam hanging for a bit and then incorrectly measuring the time over which you transferred some data. Could also be due to the clock changing while Steam is running, maybe.

    The #strings are just Valve's webserver being unable to load translation strings for some reason so they never get applied to the page before its sent out.

    "Failed to find Steam" could be a Steam API or application bug. No way to know for sure. Restarting Steam usually fixes these problems.

    I've never used offline installs/backup restores before, I assume the 50000GB image is one of those. Definitely a Steam bug.

    The auto-updater sponsor thing just pulls in web content so yeah not Valve's fault unless the sponsor ad was being loaded from one of their servers.

    Steam has occasionally shown some wacky prices for me that disappear once you click through or reload... probably just corrupted price data being downloaded and embedded in the page.

    Steam Subscriber Agreement is also web content. There are similar EULAs for third-party games, and I've had a similar experience to this. It's kinda funny since it gives you plausible deniability, even if courts ever decide EULAs are actually legal.

    That Finnish thing is weird, Steam can't be storing dates as strings as it has to compare them, and it uses "Today" and "Yesterday" strings in those special cases. Maybe the language settings are messed up (or Finnish is selected but most of the language files couldn't be loaded so it fell back to English).

    I'm surprised the offline mode bug hasn't been mentioned. If you don't have the proper offline cache to play in offline mode, you can try to enable it but then Steam tells you offline mode can't be started unless you're online. Fun.

  • ColdHeart (unregistered)

    I can't remember the last time I had an issue with Steam. With the number of users, sure there will be the odd bug that gets out. Doesn't mean the system as a whole is bad.

  • TheSHEEEP (unregistered) in reply to The MAZZTer

    Most of your statements are correct, but...

    The MAZZTer:
    That Finnish thing is weird, Steam can't be storing dates as strings as it has to compare them

    ... and strings can not be compared? ;)

    But yeah, it is weird. My guess is also that they get that date string from the system, so it is in the system language, while everything else uses the Steam application language, which can be set to anything, but defaults to English.

  • Phil (unregistered)

    "Failed to find steam!"

    It's behind you!

  • Mike Orksbeggar (unregistered) in reply to The MAZZTer
    The MAZZTer:
    Steam hanging for a bit... Valve's webserver being unable to load translation strings for some reason... could be a Steam API or application bug... Definitely a Steam bug... not Valve's fault unless... occasionally shown some wacky prices for me that disappear once you click through or reload... probably just corrupted price data... That Finnish thing is weird... Maybe the language settings are messed up... the offline mode bug...
    So what's your point? These aren't "legitimate" WTFs because they're just bugs? And everybody makes lots of bugs. So they're OK. Right?
  • (cs) in reply to ColdHeart
    ColdHeart:
    I can't remember the last time I had an issue with Steam. With the number of users, sure there will be the odd bug that gets out. Doesn't mean the system as a whole is bad.
    DRM like this is ALWAYS bad. The honest people really are the only ones penalized by it, want to play the game when you want regardless of switching to offline mode while still online, the ones that hacked the game can do it. The music industry finally realized it was costing far more to try to keep DRM on CD's then it was to just simply release the music. My personal experiance, the new Fallout was the worst game ever. Why? because I had a CD burner on my machine, somehting that comes on most machines these days, but because I had burner software it wouldn't install. So I payed for the game and couldn't play it when I was 100% legal. Know how I finally got to play it? I had to crack it, so I had to go around them to play a game I already paid for. Then of course it would crash. Ended up just trading the game in, never did get to play it. DRM should just die.
  • IPlayGamesAllDay (unregistered)

    @macmac, not sure if you're a troll or just don't know any better.

    [quote user="macmac"][quote user="Jeremy French"]It's quite buggy. People loathed it right from day one because of the many, many bugs it launched with.[/quote]

    Citation Needed.

    [quote user="macmac"][quote user="Jeremy French"]It was released with Half Life 2.[/quote]

    No it wasn't.

    [quote user="KattMan"]Why? because I had a CD burner on my machine, somehting that comes on most machines these days, but because I had burner software it wouldn't install.[/quote]

    This doesn't have much to do with Steam, if anything. Fallout's custom DRM does not relate to Valve's system.

  • ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL (unregistered) in reply to jnareb
    jnareb:
    Yankee:
    Hey! We don't need no stinkin' condoms over our letters. If 26 ASCII characters were enough to write the Bible, 26 ASCII characters are enough for me.
    Original Bible, i.e. Hebrew (בראשית) and Greek (Καλήμερον, ἦλθες)?
    WOOSH!
  • geezerette (unregistered) in reply to Swedish tard

    Please, we're murcans.

    My French friends chide me for mispronouncing French names, while they constantly mispronounce Ingrid Bergman.

  • Herr Otto Flick (unregistered) in reply to jnareb
    jnareb:
    Yankee:
    Hey! We don't need no stinkin' condoms over our letters. If 26 ASCII characters were enough to write the Bible, 26 ASCII characters are enough for me.

    Original Bible, i.e. Hebrew (בראשית) and Greek (Καλήμερον, ἦλθες)?

    Think you'll find it was mostly written in ܐܪܡܝܐ‎.

  • (cs) in reply to Yankee
    Yankee:
    Hey! We don't need no stinkin' condoms over our letters. If 26 ASCII characters were enough to write the Bible, 26 ASCII characters are enough for me.
    10/10. Nicely done.
  • Nemo (unregistered) in reply to Phil
    Phil:
    "Failed to find steam!"

    It's behind you!

    The police said "We've traced the connection. The packets are coming from inside the house!"

    But it was too late.

  • Andrew (unregistered) in reply to jnareb
    jnareb:
    Yankee:
    Hey! We don't need no stinkin' condoms over our letters. If 26 ASCII characters were enough to write the Bible, 26 ASCII characters are enough for me.

    Original Bible, i.e. Hebrew (בראשית) and Greek (Καλήμερον, ἦλθες)?

    When people make a joke around you in real life, do you just stand there quizzically until someone explains it to you?

  • (cs) in reply to IPlayGamesAllDay
    IPlayGamesAllDay:
    KattMan:
    Why? because I had a CD burner on my machine, somehting that comes on most machines these days, but because I had burner software it wouldn't install.

    This doesn't have much to do with Steam, if anything. Fallout's custom DRM does not relate to Valve's system.

    You are right, but it does relate to my general dislike of ALL DRM systems. They basically only hurt the honest customers as the dishonest ones will ALWAYS find a way around them, and in some cases, the honest have to just to play it. Like Steam requiring you to be online first before you can play offline. Why is that not a local setting I can switch on at will when I want to play on my laptop and just don't have a connection. If it was an online game like say WOW or Guildwars I could understand, but not for something that is ment to be played locally.

  • Dan (unregistered)

    You see Stefan, they download the entire store to your hard drive at install time, then control what you can and can't play with DRM. That way when you buy a game, it's ready to play instantly! It's a convenience thing!

  • Hasse (unregistered)

    Cannot find stream: Ol'd fellow Adventure. Enter Cave say, magic word xzzy.

  • Alargule (unregistered)

    Wake up, Mr Freeman...and correct the damn errors!

  • (cs)

    The Hebrew alphabet (actually aleph-bet named after its first two letters) has 22 letters but 5 of them have different symbols when used at the end of the word, plus the bible contains an extra symbol which is an inverted-nun in two places, thus totalling 28 symbols.

    There are no punctuation marks of any kind.

  • SteveThePirate (unregistered) in reply to Cbuttius
    Cbuttius:
    The Hebrew alphabet (actually aleph-bet named after its first two letters) has 22 letters but 5 of them have different symbols when used at the end of the word, plus the bible contains an extra symbol which is an inverted-nun in two places, thus totalling 28 symbols.

    There are no punctuation marks of any kind.

    Why do we care?
  • (cs) in reply to SteveThePirate
    SteveThePirate:
    Cbuttius:
    The Hebrew alphabet (actually aleph-bet named after its first two letters) has 22 letters but 5 of them have different symbols when used at the end of the word, plus the bible contains an extra symbol which is an inverted-nun in two places, thus totalling 28 symbols.

    There are no punctuation marks of any kind.

    Why do we care?
    Because this is the internet. Are you actually expecting relevance? And I like mushroom pizza.
  • Abe (unregistered) in reply to SteveThePirate
    SteveThePirate:
    Cbuttius:
    The Hebrew alphabet (actually aleph-bet named after its first two letters) has 22 letters but 5 of them have different symbols when used at the end of the word, plus the bible contains an extra symbol which is an inverted-nun in two places, thus totalling 28 symbols.

    There are no punctuation marks of any kind.

    Why do we care?
    Because 28 symbols could be coded in just 5 bits, saving 3 bits per byte! Think how much more efficient our disk use could be if we stored everything in Hebrew!

    Kids these days. Bet they don't even teach about bits anymore do they?

  • (cs)

    Somehow, Steam looks unready for prime time. Maybe it's just me?

  • Captcha:luctus (also yes I'm that guy) (unregistered)

    Noo, you forgot the best one! (actually it's my fault for not sending it, but I guess I'll just post it here now).

    I once tried to start Steam after losing my internet connection: [image] No WTFs yet, it says "start Steam in 'Offline Mode', and there's a button that says "START IN OFFLINE MODE", so I had the crazy idea that maybe it I could start Steam in offline mode and play some offline games. Hey, Steam's DRM is not so bad, see?

    I clicked, and a window appeared: "Connecting Steam account: ..." wait what exactly is it connecting? I told it to start in offline mode. Well I guess it's just the generic "loading data" dialog.

    And then this happens:

    [image] Yay for Valve.

  • the beholder (unregistered) in reply to IPlayGamesAllDay
    IPlayGamesAllDay:
    @macmac, not sure if you're a troll or just don't know any better.
    macmac:
    It's quite buggy. People loathed it right from day one because of the many, many bugs it launched with.

    Citation Needed.

    macmac:
    It was released with Half Life 2.

    No it wasn't.

    KattMan:
    Why? because I had a CD burner on my machine, somehting that comes on most machines these days, but because I had burner software it wouldn't install.

    This doesn't have much to do with Steam, if anything. Fallout's custom DRM does not relate to Valve's system.

    DRM IS the greatest evil a game company can unleash on us customers.As an example, check this comic on a particular instance of DRM gone wrong. Make sure you read the author's comment on the right too.

    You might like Steam's convenience when it comes to digital distribution, storing your games on the cloud, game library variety, et cetera. I do not dispute that. But I find it hard to believe you like being subjected to SecuROM and other DRM attempts Valve, Obsidian or whoever else pushes onto you, unless you're a masochist.

    BTW, fixed the quotations for you

  • Aargle Zymurgy (unregistered)

    Well, when I saw the subject, I just had to see if anyone else had the "Steam Can't Find Steam" error. Good to see I wasn't alone. Though I was a little worried about a resolution. I wrote to the creators of Civilization (the game throwing the error) and they told me to contact Steam. For a moment I thought I was about to drop into some Kafkaesque nightmare where Steam would tell me to contact the game creators. Ah, well, no crazy tragedy to add to the list.

    And, FWIW, I have been able to start my Steam games without net connection. (Though, I really would have liked that discount on Railworks when I got it.)

  • AtWorkWithNoWork (unregistered) in reply to KattMan

    There IS an option for that - "Offline Mode". I'm not sure why you're not okay with it. You run Offline Mode once while you're online so it generates an authentication token on your local machine, and from then on you can switch to offline mode and play without Steam authenticating to online servers on that machine. It would be nice if Steam did this automatically, rather than requiring the user to initiate the process.

    Steam does a piss-poor job of explaining that, though. The mechanisms are in place to make the experience virtually painless for honest customers, the documentation simply sucks.

  • notme (unregistered)

    I've recently had the displeasure of using EA's Origin, because that's what you have to use if you want to play Battlefield 3. I now have a new found appreciation for Steam.

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