• (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:
    Richard Nixon:
    RevMike:


    Richard, that explanation is a WTF.  You responded to someone who had just identified themself as a German with the phrase "your usual targets", then rattled off a list of  three groups that were major victims of the Holocaust (you left out the Slavs and the handicapped).  You must think we are morons if you expect us to not understand that as a Nazi reference.  If you had said, Jews, Gays, and then Blacks, Koreans, Armenians, Chinese, Irish, or any other groups that have been victims of non-Nazi racism you might have a defense.

    I refuse to apologize.  I said that you may be a racist or that you may have made insensitive remarks.  I stand by that.  You called a German a Nazi because he made an off-the-cuff remark about older programmers.  You make a technial argument that you aren't a racist.  For the sake of argument here, racist is potentially not the best word.  Lets settle on bigot.


    By the way Mike, is it still an off-the-cuff remark to say that Jews should not be allowed to program?

    [Yes, you are this stupid.]

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon


    I'm not aware of any history of bigotry targeting Jewish programmers.  Are you advocating that no one ever again making a broad sweeping generalization about any group, no matter how defined, on this site again?  Hell, the comment counts will drop to single digits.

    Apparently you are too stupid to understand that the impact of these sweeping generalizations is tempered or intensified by historical context.  Stating that Germans over 30 shouldn't do database programming because they do it "old school" is far different than stating that a someone is a Nazi.  Let me also state for the record that the statement "the University of Colorodo graduates idiots" is different than saying that blacks should be bought ans sold as chattel, that "VB is a pox on the face of computing", is different than saying that "Fags should be denied AIDS treatment."


    Who cares if you're aware of a history of bigotry towards Jewish programmers? What does that have to do with anything? You missed the point, again.

    I never called anyone a Nazi. It appears you are going to continue to put words into my mouth because you couldn't understand my argument. This is my last attempt to try to dumb it down to your level: I saw someone demonstrating prejudice, I compared that person to a Nazi because the Nazis also demonstrated prejudice. And for that, you called me a racist. Yup, you're really smart.

    Also, your example statements are quite obviously different. Saying something about a programming language is different than saying something about a group of people. I mean, that's so obviously different and completely unrelated to anything that I said to you, I can only conclude that you're just not firing on all cylinders. I wish you could stop calling people racist long enough to read my points and try to understand them. I have tried to understand your point of view here. I see that my comment could have been interpreted as being a statement about Germans. I apologize  if anyone took it that way. As I've stated a number of times now, it was not meant in that respect but rather prejudice against old people is just as foolish as the prejudice demonstrated by the Nazis.

    I really think you owe me an apology.

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon
  • (cs) in reply to Richard Nixon
    Richard Nixon:
    RevMike:
    Richard Nixon:
    RevMike:


    Richard, that explanation is a WTF.  You responded to someone who had just identified themself as a German with the phrase "your usual targets", then rattled off a list of  three groups that were major victims of the Holocaust (you left out the Slavs and the handicapped).  You must think we are morons if you expect us to not understand that as a Nazi reference.  If you had said, Jews, Gays, and then Blacks, Koreans, Armenians, Chinese, Irish, or any other groups that have been victims of non-Nazi racism you might have a defense.

    I refuse to apologize.  I said that you may be a racist or that you may have made insensitive remarks.  I stand by that.  You called a German a Nazi because he made an off-the-cuff remark about older programmers.  You make a technial argument that you aren't a racist.  For the sake of argument here, racist is potentially not the best word.  Lets settle on bigot.


    By the way Mike, is it still an off-the-cuff remark to say that Jews should not be allowed to program?

    [Yes, you are this stupid.]

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon


    I'm not aware of any history of bigotry targeting Jewish programmers.  Are you advocating that no one ever again making a broad sweeping generalization about any group, no matter how defined, on this site again?  Hell, the comment counts will drop to single digits.

    Apparently you are too stupid to understand that the impact of these sweeping generalizations is tempered or intensified by historical context.  Stating that Germans over 30 shouldn't do database programming because they do it "old school" is far different than stating that a someone is a Nazi.  Let me also state for the record that the statement "the University of Colorodo graduates idiots" is different than saying that blacks should be bought ans sold as chattel, that "VB is a pox on the face of computing", is different than saying that "Fags should be denied AIDS treatment."


    Who cares if you're aware of a history of bigotry towards Jewish programmers? What does that have to do with anything? You missed the point, again.

    I never called anyone a Nazi. It appears you are going to continue to put words into my mouth because you couldn't understand my argument. This is my last attempt to try to dumb it down to your level: I saw someone demonstrating prejudice, I compared that person to a Nazi because the Nazis also demonstrated prejudice. And for that, you called me a racist. Yup, you're really smart.

    Also, your example statements are quite obviously different. Saying something about a programming language is different than saying something about a group of people. I mean, that's so obviously different and completely unrelated to anything that I said to you, I can only conclude that you're just not firing on all cylinders. I wish you could stop calling people racist long enough to read my points and try to understand them. I have tried to understand your point of view here. I see that my comment could have been interpreted as being a statement about Germans. I apologize  if anyone took it that way. As I've stated a number of times now, it was not meant in that respect but rather prejudice against old people is just as foolish as the prejudice demonstrated by the Nazis.

    I really think you owe me an apology.

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon


    OK.  I give up.  I apologize for failing to understand how someone can say to a German person "Who are your other targets?  Jews, Gypsies, and Homosexuals?" and not be making a Nazi reference.  While I'm at it, let me also apologize to anyone who has said to a Turk "So, you enjoy rounding up Armenians and killing them?", said to a Japanese person "Hey, have you killed millions of Chinese and enslaved Korean women for sex lately?", and said to a Southern White man in the United States "Been to any cross burnings or lynching while wearing white sheets?"

    I'm just too stupid for failing to see how that might be expressing a bigotry towards Turks, Japanese, and Southerners.

    This is my final post on this topic.
  • (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:


    OK.  I give up.  I apologize for failing to understand how someone can say to a German person "Who are your other targets?  Jews, Gypsies, and Homosexuals?" and not be making a Nazi reference.  While I'm at it, let me also apologize to anyone who has said to a Turk "So, you enjoy rounding up Armenians and killing them?", said to a Japanese person "Hey, have you killed millions of Chinese and enslaved Korean women for sex lately?", and said to a Southern White man in the United States "Been to any cross burnings or lynching while wearing white sheets?"

    I'm just too stupid for failing to see how that might be expressing a bigotry towards Turks, Japanese, and Southerners.

    This is my final post on this topic.


    It's amazing that you still can't see that it was a Nazi reference but the reason for it was because the poster was exhibiting prejudice, not that the poster was German.

    You're too stupid for a lot of things.

    All done putting inflammatory labels on people then?

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon
  • (cs) in reply to Manni
    Mannilingus:
    I've got a crisp, new George Washington right here for ya...do you think that is enough incentive? I could easily add a Sacagawea to sweeten the deal.


    Damn, you're not a very good at negotiating price.

    Besides, I wouldn't take anything less than a crisp new Thomas Jefferson.  If you had one of those, you'd hear all kinds of things about stupid compiler options, functions without return values, and so on.
  • (cs) in reply to Ytram
    Ytram:
    Mannilingus:
    I've got a crisp, new George Washington right here for ya...do you think that is enough incentive? I could easily add a Sacagawea to sweeten the deal.


    Damn, you're not a very good at negotiating price.

    Besides, I wouldn't take anything less than a crisp new Thomas Jefferson.  If you had one of those, you'd hear all kinds of things about stupid compiler options, functions without return values, and so on.


    Be careful.  Are we talking paper or metal?  In one domain the George and Sacagawea are a much better deal.
  • (cs) in reply to Jeff S
    Jeff S:
    Actually,  no .. the surrogate key debate went quite well.  In fact, it was a pretty good discussion overall -- very little flaming, very little trolling, most of the posters were pretty open minded and some people even learned a little bit about data modelling.  That thread left me feeling pretty good, to be honest.


    It was surprsingly good.  I wish it was not so surprising.

    As for trolling -- I was responding to a typical vb-programming bash. Did you feel his statement "iif() is a bad idea" didn't require clarification?    To me, not only did it not make sense, but was a typically ignorant "VB is the WTF!" comment.  Claiming that a function is "a bad idea" because it doesn't short-circuit kinda rules out most of the functions I've ever used, I'm afraid!

    Same with me.  An IIF() that does not short-circuit is much less useful.  Visual FoxPro's IIF() function does short-circuit, and I count on that behaviour..

    Sincerely,

    Gene Wirchenko

  • (cs) in reply to Richard Nixon
    Richard Nixon:

    Yes, you are this stupid.



    "You must be >this< stupid to post to TDWTF."

    ok
    dpm
  • bigot (unregistered) in reply to dpm

    Lets not discuss about Germans and Nazis. It's more fun to poke VB "programmers".

  • (cs) in reply to RevMike

    RevMike:
    Be careful.  Are we talking paper or metal?  In one domain the George and Sacagawea are a much better deal.

    <FONT face="Courier New" size=2>i've gone over this 8 billion times.  libertarians: silver has no intrinsic value.</FONT>

  • (cs) in reply to Jeff S

    Jeff S:
    hmmmm ... can you explain to me how short circuiting works? 

    While I admit that I don't know enough VB to make an automated cat poking machine with, in several other languages it would be entirely possible to write a function with the same behavior of IIf, which does do short circut evaluation. Even if you put in other functions as parameters to it.

    But whether that is even possible in VB, I do not know.

     

  • (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:

    Germans don't have a particular history as victims of racism that should cause us to be expecially sensitive.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expulsion_of_Germans_after_World_War_II

  • AAARGGH (unregistered) in reply to ammoQ

    hehe, cultural clash anyone?

    just to explain this a little: here in Germany 7 year old kids learn about the crimes that the nazis committed in WWII in school and we are always aware of all the things that happened in that time. German people are quite sensitive on that because we are somehow in a delinquent role (although the war is two generations (!) in the past).
    Calling a German "nazi" is a much bigger offense than you may think. We know what happened in the past but i would say that no other nation is reflecting their war crimes more than the German...

    @richard nixon:
    your "nazi" comparison was primarily a generalisation based on the writer's nationality ("...any of YOUR (plural) usual targets...") and only secondarily a statement agains his opinion, older programmers are not as good as younger ones. I think it was a lot more inappropriate than making jokes about older people... which, maybe, was not ok either.


    but whatever...
    in a few years our nazi-status will be gone and we will have a new nazi-nation that is found collectively guilty for racism, prejudices, war crimes etc. (remember my words)

    have a nice night
    AAARGGH

  • (cs) in reply to rogthefrog

    rogthefrog:
    This might be the WTF of the year.

    Century. Millennia even.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to frosty
    frosty:
    Anonymous:

    The German adds a nice touch.[H]



    Maybe the Germans shouldn't be allowed to develope anything computer related.


    SAP?
  • Kefer (unregistered) in reply to Richard Nixon

    Richard Nixon:

    See, you're stupid because you can't see the facts that led to the conclusion.

    ...

    2. Perhaps he'll see how stupid that is if I compare him to the behavior of the Nazis.

    ...


    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon

    As pointed out before, Germans are still sensitive about these kind of remarks. I'm from the Netherlands and I have seen a lot of prejudice against Germans in general. As for the elder, who have suffered the war themselves, I can understand this in some way. But the younger generations of Germans should not be punished in any way for the actions of their ancestors. When you compare a Germans behaviour to nazi behaviour, you should realize that that statement will be interpreted as an insult. As shows, you feel insulted too, when someone compares your statements to racist statements.

    What particularly offended me, is your style of discussion. Calling somebody stupid is no way debate. If you feel someone doesn't get your point, say so. Then either clarify, or disengage.

    Sincerely,

    Kefer

  • germancoder (unregistered) in reply to dabocla

    Even more correctly translated: "Ach du Scheiße!"

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anonymous:
    frosty:
    Anonymous:

    The German adds a nice touch.[H]



    Maybe the Germans shouldn't be allowed to develope anything computer related.


    SAP?


    As someone else has already implied, that can be used as an argument either way...


  • (cs) in reply to dabocla
    dabocla:

    was das bumsen.

    (Hint:  German)

    .jc


    People called Romanes, they go the house?

  • (cs) in reply to Richard Nixon
    Richard Nixon:
    Anonymous:
    We Germans are good at computing... err... at least sometimes... I think you just should not let any German older than 30 do programming work, they tend to do it the "old school style"


    Who else would you like to arbitrarily exclude with a crazy rule? Gypsies? Jews? Homosexuals? Did I miss any of your usual targets?

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon


    How did you manage to fit so much hate in such a small brain?

  • (cs) in reply to Richard Nixon
    Richard Nixon:
    Anonymous:
    We Germans are good at computing... err... at least sometimes... I think you just should not let any German older than 30 do programming work, they tend to do it the "old school style"


    Who else would you like to arbitrarily exclude with a crazy rule? Gypsies? Jews? Homosexuals? Did I miss any of your usual targets?

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon


    Just in case you missed it, the coalition of Social Democrats and Greens introduced same-sex marriage (the official name is "life partnership") nationwide in 2001. As of 2005, there's still only a handful of US states with comparable laws. Tough luck for your anti-German stereotypes, Mr. Fucking Hypocrite, is it?

  • (cs) in reply to ammoQ
    ammoQ:
    RevMike:

    Germans don't have a particular history as victims of racism that should cause us to be expecially sensitive.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expulsion_of_Germans_after_World_War_II



    An interesting link.  Thank you.

    My Grandparents were Germans from a town near the Hungarian-Romanian border.  They would have been victims of this had they not emigrated to the US before WWI.

    Mike
  • (cs) in reply to Alexis de Torquemada
    Alexis de Torquemada:
    Richard Nixon:
    Anonymous:
    We Germans are good at computing... err... at least sometimes... I think you just should not let any German older than 30 do programming work, they tend to do it the "old school style"


    Who else would you like to arbitrarily exclude with a crazy rule? Gypsies? Jews? Homosexuals? Did I miss any of your usual targets?

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon


    Just in case you missed it, the coalition of Social Democrats and Greens introduced same-sex marriage (the official name is "life partnership") nationwide in 2001. As of 2005, there's still only a handful of US states with comparable laws. Tough luck for your anti-German stereotypes, Mr. Fucking Hypocrite, is it?



    Again, I never said all Germans had prejudices. I saw someone with a silly prejudice and compared him to a Nazi, since the Nazis had prejudices as well. It's so easy to just call someone a racist but I really expect better from some of you people to understand at a bit deeper level. (Not you though Tough Guy - all you know is karate.)

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon
  • (cs) in reply to Alexis de Torquemada
    Alexis de Torquemada:
    Richard Nixon:
    Anonymous:
    We Germans are good at computing... err... at least sometimes... I think you just should not let any German older than 30 do programming work, they tend to do it the "old school style"


    Who else would you like to arbitrarily exclude with a crazy rule? Gypsies? Jews? Homosexuals? Did I miss any of your usual targets?

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon


    How did you manage to fit so much hate in such a small brain?



    Now who is it that you believe I hate?

    Sincerely,

    Richard Nixon
  • (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:
    ammoQ:
    RevMike:

    Germans don't have a particular history as victims of racism that should cause us to be expecially sensitive.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expulsion_of_Germans_after_World_War_II



    An interesting link.  Thank you.

    My Grandparents were Germans from a town near the Hungarian-Romanian border.  They would have been victims of this had they not emigrated to the US before WWI.

    Mike


    In the long term, many of the expulsed Germans were arguably better off than those people who stayed - at least those who went to Western Germany, Austria or other countries of the western world. Those countries where Germans were expulsed suffered many decades under a communist regime.
  • (cs) in reply to ammoQ
    ammoQ:
    RevMike:
    ammoQ:
    RevMike:

    Germans don't have a particular history as victims of racism that should cause us to be expecially sensitive.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expulsion_of_Germans_after_World_War_II



    An interesting link.  Thank you.

    My Grandparents were Germans from a town near the Hungarian-Romanian border.  They would have been victims of this had they not emigrated to the US before WWI.

    Mike


    In the long term, many of the expulsed Germans were arguably better off than those people who stayed - at least those who went to Western Germany, Austria or other countries of the western world. Those countries where Germans were expulsed suffered many decades under a communist regime.


    How did we get this far off topic?  :)

    One of the interesting things that comes up when considering the morality of these relocations is how the people who are being forced from their homes came into possession of those homes in the first place.  I don't think anyone would object to a German  who was relocated to a newly conquered area in 1939 being forced off the land in 1945.  (Attrocities that may have been committed during the relocation are a different matter).  On the other hand, the Hapsburgs were shuffling people around only 30 years earlier.  Should a German relocated to Romania in 1912 due to some Austrian policy be forced to move?  How about people who were relocated in the 1850s?  How far back do you go?  (Some Israelis claim that the land was theirs 3,000 years ago, and so the Arabs who have been living there for more than 1,000 years have no claim.)  And how much does it matter if members of that family actively collaborated?

    I don't have answers.  It is just something to think about.


  • (cs) in reply to AAARGGH
    Anonymous:

     We know what happened in the past but i would say that no other nation is reflecting their war crimes more than the German...



    In particular Stalin (USSR/Russia) did twice the evil that Hitler did, but you never hear of it.   I understand that Mao (China) was even more evil, but I haven't studied their history.  These 3 were all in power at the same time, yet you only hear of or think of the least evil of them.    The other two helped the US/UK in the fight against the first, and that is more important.

    Some churches in the US, in the 1930's held fund raisers to help Hitler solve the Jewish problem.   I have no idea how many - you never hear about this, at most a passing reference.
  • (cs) in reply to hank miller
    hank miller:
    Anonymous:

     We know what happened in the past but i would say that no other nation is reflecting their war crimes more than the German...



    In particular Stalin (USSR/Russia) did twice the evil that Hitler did, but you never hear of it.   I understand that Mao (China) was even more evil, but I haven't studied their history.  These 3 were all in power at the same time, yet you only hear of or think of the least evil of them.    The other two helped the US/UK in the fight against the first, and that is more important.

    Some churches in the US, in the 1930's held fund raisers to help Hitler solve the Jewish problem.   I have no idea how many - you never hear about this, at most a passing reference.


    Twice?  Can you provide a reference for that?  The Hollocaust killed roughly 11 million.  In addition, there were, IIRC, about 20 million casualties along the eastern front due to Nazi actions.  The total Nazi death toll is roughly 35 million or so.  I was pretty sure that the Stalin death toll was about 40 million.

    Ain't this an odd debate.

    And yes, there were plenty of Nazi sympathizers throughout Europe and North America.  Of course, keep in mind that most of the world did not believe how depraved the Nazis were until after the death camps started to be liberated in 1944.  The public face of solving the "Jewish problem" were things like deportation and segregation.  In pre-civil rights movement United States, that didn't seem too bad.
  • (cs) in reply to hank miller
    hank miller:
    In particular Stalin (USSR/Russia) did twice the evil that Hitler did, but you never hear of it.   I understand that Mao (China) was even more evil, but I haven't studied their history.  These 3 were all in power at the same time, yet you only hear of or think of the least evil of them.


    I think it's pretty ridiculous to make up a "rank of evilness", especially based on simply numbering deaths that were caused[1].

    The Holocaust may not have been the biggest genocide in history based on numbers, but the combination of scale and sheer inhumanness of the planned, organized and industrialized mass-murder makes it stand out.

    Stalin and Mao's death tolls were mostly based on starvation and it's arguable to what degree it was intended or planned - it certainly happens often enough without plan or intention.


    [1] Actually, I recently read something about scientists actually doing a ranking of the evilness of psychopathical killers based on personality traits- ah, here it is: http://www.racematters.org/thenatureofevil.htm
  • (cs) in reply to Otto
    Otto:

    .... in several other languages it would be entirely possible to write a function with the same behavior of IIf, which does do short circut evaluation. Even if you put in other functions as parameters to it ...

    How about some examples?

  • (cs) in reply to Ytram

    The operator-ness is tied into the short-circuit-ness.   An operator is recognized by the compiler, so the compiler can then do smart things like not evaluate things that will never be used.

    If instead you write a function,  the compiler is obliged to evaluate all the parameters (in most languages), before ever calling the function.  So no short-circuit speedups are possible.

    Similarly even if you overload "?" to do the iif operation, it doesnt matter that it's an "operator" now... The compiler still has no ability to do anything other than evaluate the operands and call the operator-implementing function.

    BTW yes, that does come pretty close to taking sevreal cakes as being really really bad code.  But then again does anyone recall the old accounting programs written for the Apple II in BASIC?  Triple-yechhy at best.


  • (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:

    One of the interesting things that comes up when considering the morality of these relocations is how the people who are being forced from their homes came into possession of those homes in the first place.  I don't think anyone would object to a German  who was relocated to a newly conquered area in 1939 being forced off the land in 1945.

    There may have been such cases, but most relocated Germans had been living there for generations. Consider the shifting of Poland - the Borders of Poland were moved 100 km or so to the West after WW2; this means territory that was previously part of Germany became part of Poland, and the eastern parts of Poland became Ucraine.

    On the other hand, the Hapsburgs were shuffling people around only 30 years earlier. Should a German relocated to Romania in 1912 due to some Austrian policy be forced to move?  How about people who were relocated in the 1850s? 

    As far as I can tell, Germans have been in Transsylvania (the part of Romania where Germans live) since the 12th century. I'm not aware that the Habsburg Monarchy used force to relocate people.

    How far back do you go?  (Some Israelis claim that the land was theirs 3,000 years ago, and so the Arabs who have been living there for more than 1,000 years have no claim.)  And how much does it matter if members of that family actively collaborated?

    IMO injustice should be remediated during the livetime of those who acutally did it. Several generations later it's definitely to late. Do Americans consider giving the land back to the Indians and return to Europe? Hardly imaginable.
  • (cs) in reply to Ancient_Hacker

    Ancient_Hacker:
    If instead you write a function,  the compiler is obliged to evaluate all the parameters (in most languages), before ever calling the function.  So no short-circuit speedups are possible.

    Sure they are. In C, you can pass a pointer to a function instead of the value of that function, can you not? If you wrote a function that took functions instead of the results of those functions... I'll leave the rest to you. [:D]

  • (cs) in reply to Otto
    Otto:

    Ancient_Hacker:
    If instead you write a function,  the compiler is obliged to evaluate all the parameters (in most languages), before ever calling the function.  So no short-circuit speedups are possible.

    Sure they are. In C, you can pass a pointer to a function instead of the value of that function, can you not? If you wrote a function that took functions instead of the results of those functions... I'll leave the rest to you. [:D]

    Passing a pointer to a function as an argument is COMPLETELY different from passing an expression calls a function call as an argument.  The compiler MUST evaluate all of the arguments of a function before calling it.  It even "evaluates" the pointer to the function that you pass in.  You can write your own version of a "short circuiting" function that only accepts a pointer to one single particular function and does a call back, but I don't think you'd be doing anything too clever to be honest, and that is completely different from an operator which performs short-circuiting... Is this really that hard?

    (by the way -- passing pointers is something you can do in VBA/6 as well; albeit in a very clunky manner if I recall.)

     

  • (cs)

    I can't imagine what the database behind all this would look like...

  • (cs) in reply to ammoQ
    ammoQ:

    IMO injustice should be remediated during the livetime of those who acutally did it. Several generations later it's definitely to late. Do Americans consider giving the land back to the Indians and return to Europe? Hardly imaginable.


    If the Indians somehow suddenly had a lot more guns than us and an interest in using them, we might.
  • Brian (unregistered) in reply to Anonymoose

    -quot- Not to mention, stating that 3 > 4.

    You see, it's a great big three made out of rock, and little bitty four made out of paper. -/quot-

    Silly, that's still wrong. Everyone knows paper beats rock!

  • (cs) in reply to Brian

    It's probably too late for anyone to care now, but you can't overload the (C++) ?: operator anyway - probably because it would then be implemented as a function and the short-circuit evaluation would disappear, since all arguments would have to be evaluated before calling.

    Therefore, since a function must evaluate all of its arguments prior to being called, ?: can only be ever be an operator and cannot be overloaded.

    On the other hand, it';s trivially easy to write a C++ version of the VB iif function, although why you'd want to is a topic for another thread....

     

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