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Admin
Damnit, my computer doesn't have a clitoris either.
Admin
I learned long ago that the amount of time that I have to spend on a friend or family support call increases geometrically based on the age of the user. Some of my relatives should not be allowed within 50 miles of a functional computer.
Admin
So in other words, if the users are complete squares, the whole job is likely to go pear-shaped?
Admin
That's an awfully reasonable question from "power troll." Here you go:
My old man, in his 70s, is an independent journalist. His first computer was a TRS-80, but now he's doing his site on an iMac.
His site focuses on transport issues, and requires a fair amount of photography, not exactly National Geographic standards, but still each story requires two or three photos. You know how photo editing is: you tend to do a few iterations, so two or three published photos might have a source, a few temporary files and so forth, until a typical article could easily generate ten files or so.
Now, he's not the most organized guy. You'd expect a journalist to accumulate a lot of paper, and every surface above the floor is covered with paper. He's no better digitally, so he tends to have dozens of programs open. For the most part, OS X handles it with aplomb and allowed him to never restart or do any real maintenance whatsoever, but he did complain about slowness. The worst offender was, surprise surprise, Flash, and restarting Safari worked just fine to get things running again smoothly.
One day I got a call, though, that his computer had crashed. I was at work, and said I'd try to get over to his place and help him out. But he decided to take it to the Apple Store and put the Geniuses to the test.
From what he tells me, it took four hours to finally track the problem down, because even trying to mount the disk on a working system caused it to crash.
Apparently, he had accumulated tens of thousands of images, and lacking the normal inclination to neatly store things in folders, he had them all on the desktop. The Finder, in a fairly braindead manner, tried to cook up pretty preview images of all of them, and this managed to bring down the whole system.
Incidentally, I've seen the preview system do wonky things on OS X before, so I'm not terribly surprised.
I bring this up as a WTF as it can't be that hard to design the Finder to not try to bite off more than it can chew, to the point of rendering the whole system unusable.
Admin
Admin
Because telling them to open the Computer would work out so much better
Admin
Power outage does not imply internet outage. I had the power go out one night for 2-3 hours, but my cable internet (Charter) stayed up just fine. My cable modem and other networking equipment are on a UPS, just like my PCs. The laptop still works too with the power out. The phone line was busy so I just EMAILED the power company that the power was out!
Admin
These stories remind me of how utterly stupid and self-entitled people are when it comes to IT. People treat IT technicians like shit.
A lawyer called me a "computer guy" once. I asked her if she'd be okay with me calling her "law girl". She was so offended she complained to my company.
Other times people act an ass to me on the phone, and I hang up on them. Then they have the fucking nerve to call my boss and say, "I was acting an ass to your employee, and he hung up on me. Fire him."
Then my boss asks me about it, and I say the line dropped and I would never hang up on someone. Then the person acting an ass really confirms himself to be an ass by assuming I hung up on him.
Pricks deserve it.
Admin
Admin
Well, to be fair, there's a short name for that person: A lawyer. Whereas, for someone who, in general, works with computers, there is no short term that is at least reasonably accurate ("Computerician?"). I suppose you could say "Tech", but that's way too general--the guy fixing my car is a "Tech" as well.
Not that they should freak out, but what do you want someone to call another person who works with computers that's all-encompassing, a single word, and doesn't include people who wouldn't need to be able to turn on a PC?
Admin
Admin
While I have seen QuickLookDaemon do some strange stuff, I think we should probably all agree that it's not the system's fault that it attempts to generate a preview for every image on the desktop. In folders, it only generates previews for the onscreen ones. Also, he had TENS OF THOUSANDS of images on his desktop, and the system functioned normally (if slowly) until it had more than it could handle. The fact that it functioned at all with that many images is a testament to the general quality of the system.
CAPTCHA: ideo. I think I've seen that one before... Here's an ideo, let's read through the archives and find a WTF that did involve macs: the one where the power button was on the keyboard on the old OS9 machines... (yes, OS9 sucked. No denying it.)
Admin
I hope that's not what they meant when they said they "fixed the cat".
Admin
Admin
Why? Is it because you have a degree?
Admin
I was always amused that lecturers in the School of Computer Science (and more broadly, though less amusingly, the Faculties of Mathematics and Engineering) seemed totally inept when it came to controlling the 'high tech' gadgets that made lights dim, AV screens drop and projectors work. I know knowledge in Programming Paradigms (or Data Structures or whatever) doesn't necessarily qualify someone to operate the overhead projector, but it did seem funny at the time that these people couldn't handle their everyday technology....
Admin
I was always amused that lecturers in the School of Computer Science (and more broadly, though less amusingly, the Faculties of Mathematics and Engineering) seemed totally inept when it came to controlling the 'high tech' gadgets that made lights dim, AV screens drop and projectors work. I know knowledge in Programming Paradigms (or Data Structures or whatever) doesn't necessarily qualify someone to operate the overhead projector, but it did seem funny at the time that these people couldn't handle their everyday technology....
Admin
Haven't you watched Crocodile Dundee? You just need to have a fist (with pinky and thumb sticking out) at him, and he will go to sleep...
Admin
Admin
About 10 years ago I worked support for Adobe, and I had a lady call in for a problem with her GoLive software. After spending an hour "going through the steps", and me asking her what she saw on her screen, she finally admitted that there was a huge storm and a power outage and was "writing everything down".
People REALLY are THAT stupid.
Admin
Wasn't it a mistake of Apple to call their staff Geniuses?
That sentence sounds so sarcastic.
Admin
I';m guessing satellites don't suffer much from earthly power outages either.
Also, presumably the bloke was using a laptop, and sometimes (especially if there's a wireless card, even if it goes back to a modem plugged into the wall) it's easy to forget that the whole world doesn't run on Bartteries.
Admin
Admin
Agreed. It should be a requisite that all computer people should have to work tech support/help desk.
Admin
I believe we all know the diff between a G-spot and a clit. Or do we?
Admin
At an Apple event some time ago in Tokyo (OK, it was Makuhari Messe), it was John Scully and what needed to be plugged in was a mouse.
Admin
-Harrow.
Admin
Admin
I'm sure the bull could have found her G-spot!
Admin
Admin
Thank you for referring to my chosen profession as "crap."
Admin
could be two words: too fat
Admin
User on telephone: I can't find the word "icon" on my start menu.
Me: ??? I'll be there in a minute.
She couldn't find the "Word" icon on her start menu.
Admin
Right. One of them exists.
Admin
For that very reason.
There are a number of things about the Windows interface that can be inconsistent between versions or cause other hiccups when trying to render support over the phone. Some of these were addressed with 7.
Admin
My favorite is when I rang my ISP to tell them to restart mysql on their mail server (all I saw on my screen was mysql_connect(): Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket ...))
To be asked "Have you tried rebooting your computer ?" Answer "No - but tell yoiur server guys to reboot theirs !"
Admin
Right. Like anyone cares.
Admin
Applause, Bloke. Applause.
Admin
The G-spot is in her asshole, right?
Admin
In the german windows versions it used to be "Arbeitsplatz" which means workplace, which was pretty nice for hotline stuff. In Windows 7 its "Computer" too now :/
Admin
[quote user="boog"][quote]"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.[/quote]Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.[/quote
Depends how romantic he gets in return
Admin
So much for "It works on bears": http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/312943/813312.jpg
Admin
Perhaps Boog meant "A mace"?
Like this one:
[image]Admin
I worked for an ISP for a few years, as tier 2/3 support (as well as developer/wireless tech/linux tech/network tech/sales/customer relations/etc/etc/etc -- there were only 4 of us). I can promise you that I had at least one person a month who claimed to be a "PHD in Computer Science", a "Former Lead Developer from Microsoft", a "Highly successful IT startup business owner", or a "A+ Certified computer guru who builds circuit boards for fun" who didn't know how to turn a computer on. These people are real, and the support staff at any ISP should be paid double to listen to them ignore the staff.
On the plus side, you get funny calls, like the 70-year-old man who called in complaining about how we were blocking him from being able to download nude pictures of Angelina Jolie. We informed him that we don't block traffic.
People think that they can profess more knowledge, and we will respect them more. Truth of the issue is that we will respect you more if you admit what you don't know, so we can solve the problem faster. If you profess false knowledge, and we buy your bull, we will miss basic troubleshooting steps, but everybod here knows that already.
</rant>captcha: aliquam a problemed aquariams for guys named Ali
Admin
+1 oh, and +1 again because while typing this out, I re-read it, and it had me laugh as much as it did the first time
Total: +2
Admin
G-spot used to be popular software to find missing codecs so many people have it on their computer.
Admin
Admin
Funny how computer science is not the same as consumer electronics. Funny how consumer devices are not necessarily simplistic.
I know a guy with a degree in mathematics who runs his own company. Can you believe he pays someone to sort out the accounts? Surely accounting is all just sums, and he could easily sort out tax stuff on his own!
Admin
[quote user="boog"][quote]I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.[/quote]
You're supposed to relieve the bull before you start working on the dish. Hence the gloves.
Admin
This one did (for the bull).