• Little girl (unregistered)

    Thank you TDWTF, I learned something useful in my career today. All I have to do is scream next time I look at the requirements, or test the web app, or whatever, and I won't ever have to go there again!

    This is going to be fun...

  • Proofreader (unregistered)
    a path in Purell and gasoline
    Shouldn't that be

    for $PATH in (Purell, gasoline)

  • IBM (unregistered)

    Oh, come on! Another "the bug in the computer was actually a bug in the computer" story? This joke is like 50 years old.

  • Fuzzy McDuck (unregistered)

    The irony is that RAID is also a pest and insect control product.

  • (cs)

    So the real WTF is employing an engineer who screams like a little girl when he encounters God's little creatures? He probably also doesn't eat rabbits because they look too cute, and won't eat fish with its heads on, but lunches regularly in conventional burger chains because he doesn't need to think where the meat comes from.

  • Accalia.de.Elementia (unregistered)

    Aaaaaaaah..... That's better. Finally a Remy article with HTML comments. Maybe he finally switched to Chrome like the rest of us.

  • SV (unregistered) in reply to Fuzzy McDuck
    Fuzzy McDuck:
    The irony is that RAID is also a pest and insect control product.

    Apparently, they did not use the right RAID level.

  • Captain O (unregistered)

    Since I don't bother with the title, or the HTML comments, or the comment comments, I'd like to be the first to note the irony that if only they'd used some Raid they could have prevented this problem!

  • Tumble (unregistered) in reply to Proofreader
    Proofreader:
    Shouldn't that be

    for $PATH in (Purell, gasoline)

    Path=$P$G ...?

  • Stev (unregistered)

    So it was a Random Arrangement of Insect Droppings??

  • Ralph (unregistered)

    The other day the boss sent me to clean out the bathroom in the basement that nobody ever uses because it smells so bad. I thought I was psyched up for the job but when I got there I found a server under the sink. I attached a monitor, booted it up, and discovered it was loaded with gigabytes of tubgirl, lemon party, etc. Barely able to control myself, I opened another folder and found some VBscript. That's when I threw up.

  • Bridget (unregistered)

    Just reading that gives me an urge to go home and compulsively clean my entire house and the car. If that were me, there wouldn't have just been screaming, there may have been some hysterics and tears as well.

    At my last job I went to a presentation someone gave about working at one of the overseas sites. He had a photo of some the technical difficulties they encountered, which was a very large boa that had gotten into their server room and wrapped itself all through the server rack. I'd take that over bugs any day.

  • Doctor_of_ineptitude (unregistered)

    It's like a good turn based text game.

    You are in a muddy parking lot.

    Options: a) You scream and run. (b) Proceed to trailer.

    User selects (b)

    You are in the trailer. It is extremely filthy. You:

    a) You scream and run. (b) Proceed to server room.

    User selects (b)

    You are in the server room. The server is dead. You:

    a) You scream and run. (b) Open the server.

    User selects (b)

    A horde of undead flithy angry cockroaches swarms out and attacks you. You

    a) You scream and run.

    ... (Waiting for user input)

  • Doug (unregistered)

    I went to see my insurance agent (back when such a person served a microscopically useful function) and was shocked to find his office stacked to the ceiling with manila folders piled on every horizontal surface. I decided then and there to change agents, because if I ever did have a claim I doubted he could find my file.

    But he had a solution -- a very young female assistant who cowered in one corner until he yelled "Where's Doug's file?" at which point she looked like a deer in the headlights. Can't say I blame her.

  • (cs)

    Whatever you do... DON'T CLICK "MIASMA". DON'T DO IT I TELL YOU! AHHHH! MY SCREEN IS TAKEN OVER!

  • cman (unregistered)

    At a large insurance company I worked for they had a "technical guru" who was in charge of evaluating new hardware and software. The first time I went to his office every floor space, desk space and chair space was covered with components as well as piles of empty boxes and wrappings. Innocently, I asked "Are you in the process of moving?? Got a real dirty look from him.

  • Jerry (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    Whatever you do... DON'T CLICK "MIASMA". DON'T DO IT I TELL YOU! AHHHH! MY SCREEN IS TAKEN OVER!
    Hmmm, does absolutely nothing on my computer. I have NoScript. It's like Raid, but for computers.
  • (cs)

    As it happens, the last time I screamed like a girl was when I was asked to fix a website where php was "ARCHITECTED" to function like MVC. By the time I had the files transfered to my workstation, I am absolutely certain my computer had more bugs in it than the "SERVER" in this story did. Had I copied the file to my raid array, I would have simply had REDUNDANT bugs!

  • (cs)

    I wish people wouldn't use language like "miasma". It stinks.

  • (cs)

    A shame it was cockroaches and not spiders.

    Then they could have had web access.

  • Wonk (unregistered)

    Alex McServerdwarf has been happy lately. He was annoyed by long patrol duty. He was recently disgusted by miasma. He dined in a legendary dining room lately. He took joy in slaughter recently.

  • (cs) in reply to Cbuttius
    Cbuttius:
    A shame it was cockroaches and not spiders.

    Then they could have had web access.

    +1
  • (cs) in reply to Ralph
    Ralph:
    The other day the boss sent me to clean out the bathroom in the basement that nobody ever uses because it smells so bad. I thought I was psyched up for the job but when I got there I found a server under the sink. I attached a monitor, booted it up, and discovered it was loaded with gigabytes of tubgirl, lemon party, etc. Barely able to control myself, I opened another folder and found some VBscript. That's when I threw up.
    No 2G1C? Not impressed.
  • Poor Suffering Bastard (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    So the real WTF is employing an engineer who screams like a little girl when he encounters God's little creatures? He probably also doesn't eat rabbits because they look too cute, and won't eat fish with its heads on, but lunches regularly in conventional burger chains because he doesn't need to think where the meat comes from.

    Mental Note : Never go to QJo's place, as they love roaches...

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Fuzzy McDuck
    Fuzzy McDuck:
    The irony is that RAID is also a pest and insect control product.

    Jokes are always funnier when somebody needlessly explains them.

  • Honnza (unregistered) in reply to Proofreader
    Proofreader:
    a path in Purell and gasoline
    Shouldn't that be

    for $PATH in (Purell, gasoline)

    No, that would be foreach([$Purell, $gasoline] as $PATH), unless you're stuck with 5.3

    Captcha: tego(v): he wants tego home.

  • (cs)

    Hmmm... when a developer encounters something so hideous, so heinous, so... wtf, the correct response is to scream/shriek like a little girl...

    Imagine a day in the old cubicle farm with random shrieks of terror to punctuate the boredom!

  • (cs)

    So I'm going to point out what I think should be obvious:

    1. The place was piled high with garbage.
    2. The place was storing servers.

    Fact 1 leads me to believe that somebody was living there. When you have a company owned trailer that somebody lives in, wouldn't you, as a company, employ somebody that lives in your trailer who A: Can maintain the servers and B: Can at least clean up after themselves?

    Or is that part of their security.
    You are coming off a 3 day meth bender. You are really suffering withdrawels. Out of desperation, you break into an old trailer. You see garbage everywhere, how do you proceed. a: you scream and run. b: proceed to server room You have selected a.

  • (cs) in reply to IBM
    IBM:
    Oh, come on! Another "the bug in the computer was actually a bug in the computer" story? This joke is like 50 years old.

    I like that joke.

  • (cs) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    So the real WTF is employing an engineer who screams like a little girl when he encounters God's little creatures? He probably also doesn't eat rabbits because they look too cute, and won't eat fish with its heads on, but lunches regularly in conventional burger chains because he doesn't need to think where the meat comes from.

    1. I suspect the reaction would have been similar reaction if he discovered that the server in question had been used as an auxillary restroom durring a particularly virilant bout of I.B.S.

    2. Yes, roaches are God's creatures. They should spend more time with him, and get to know him better.

    3. I preffer to remove the hair from my rabits before I eat them, for the same reason I preffer women with a good hair cut.

  • (cs) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    3. I preffer to remove the hair from my rabits before I eat them, for the same reason I preffer women with a good hair cut.
    +1 For a good subtle random off topic felacio reference.

    You ever kiss a rabbit between the ears?

  • (cs) in reply to PiisAWheeL

    not in the way that the subject matter implies... no.

  • Wody (unregistered)

    Okay, so who unlocked Remy's chain? Without it, he managed to get into the videoroom and watched 80's movies all night. Also, please check the breakroom, something might be up with the coffee.

  • Just a me. (unregistered)

    true de-bugging there ...

  • Unisol (unregistered)

    Thank you Remy, I have had my corny dose and can now continue coding.

  • Brian (unregistered) in reply to Stev

    +1

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to Doug
    Doug:
    I went to see my insurance agent (back when such a person served a microscopically useful function) and was shocked to find his office stacked to the ceiling with manila folders piled on every horizontal surface. I decided then and there to change agents, because if I ever did have a claim I doubted he could find my file.

    But he had a solution -- a very young female assistant who cowered in one corner until he yelled "Where's Doug's file?" at which point she looked like a deer in the headlights. Can't say I blame her.

    Was her name Alva?

  • f0dder (unregistered)

    I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit - it's the only way to be sure.

  • Beef Projectile (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    Whatever you do... DON'T CLICK "MIASMA". DON'T DO IT I TELL YOU! AHHHH! MY SCREEN IS TAKEN OVER!

    I always experience a bit of satisfaction when I can find the unicorns without having to view the source.

  • (cs) in reply to f0dder
    f0dder:
    I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit - it's the only way to be sure.

    Actually, roaches are among the more resilliant critters. It is highly probable that enough would actually survive the nuclear strike to fully repopulate their numbers inside of a month.

  • f0dder (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    f0dder:
    I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit - it's the only way to be sure.

    Actually, roaches are among the more resilliant critters. It is highly probable that enough would actually survive the nuclear strike to fully repopulate their numbers inside of a month.

    They're resilient bastards indeed, and might be able to survive fairly high amounts of radiation - but I kinda doubt anything would survive ground zero. Gets kinda hot and stuff :)

  • (cs)

    "...a double-wide trailer that had started rotting before Alex was born and didn't intend to stop until well after he was dead."

    WTF does this even mean?

  • (cs) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    "...a double-wide trailer that had started rotting before Alex was born and didn't intend to stop until well after he was dead."WTF does this even mean?
    It means that the doublewide is in disrepair and is rotting. It also means that nobody is probably going to do anything about it for another 50 years or until the next tornado takes it out.
  • (cs) in reply to PiisAWheeL
    PiisAWheeL:
    It means that the doublewide is in disrepair and is rotting. It also means that nobody is probably going to do anything about it for another 50 years or until the next tornado takes it out.
    Yeah no shit the first part means it IS rotting. It's the bolded part that's nonsensical. Rot is rot-- it doesn't "intend" anything, it's a dumb organic process. Is he saying that the trailer was ridiculously huge, thus providing enough raw material to rot for decades? Lord only knows.

    Much like coding, anybody can write, but few people can do it well.

  • (cs) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    f0dder:
    I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit - it's the only way to be sure.

    Actually, roaches are among the more resilliant critters. It is highly probable that enough would actually survive the nuclear strike to fully repopulate their numbers inside of a month.

    That's a myth. Some scientists actually tested it, and found that roaches die of radiation poisoning surprisingly easy. Beetles, on the other hand, proved to be quite resilient...

  • (cs) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    Much like coding, anybody can write, but few people can do it well.
    Though you might find the idea foreign, it is not uncommon for people to personify objects in an attempt to better animate with words what the eyes cannot see. Try to keep up.... hmmmm?
  • (cs) in reply to Mason Wheeler

    lol. Interesting! Someone actually tested that foolish idea?

  • (cs)

    Cockroach. Kills RAIDs dead.

  • (cs) in reply to Mason Wheeler

    Okay... clarification time.

    I was not suggesting that a roach would survive a direct blast from a Nuc. The comment was intended more in humor, though I do suspect that some few of the population may be far enough underground that (at the very least) some or many of the eggs might survive. With roaches... it is their vast numbers that make them so hard to get rid of.

  • (cs) in reply to Seahen
    Seahen:
    Cockroach. Kills RAIDs dead.
    +1

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