• Mams (unregistered) in reply to Jay

    Lolol that is far the most funny comment

  • Pat (unregistered) in reply to Jay

    Holy crap Jay...

  • Scn64 (unregistered)

    I wonder how people like this think bugs get into programs. If programming was as simple as they seem to believe, the programmer would have to intentionally program the bugs.

    i.e. 01 load program 02 display start button 03 when the user clicks start, close the program and return to the desktop.

  • Eduardo (unregistered) in reply to Jay

    Good one.

    Cuz all of that i use that t-shirt:

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/frustrations/388b/

  • Hex (unregistered) in reply to Mythokia
    Mythokia:
    Usually when someone starts the conversation with "are you good with computers?", I expect it to go downhill.
    You "expect"? Well - I KNOW -.-
  • D (unregistered) in reply to Jay

    "the only computer literate person in my family"

    "My dad, a programmer"

    eh?

  • Issui (unregistered) in reply to Jay

    Heheh, good one. :)

  • Peter (unregistered) in reply to Jay

    You can buy a DAU-Medal for this kind of people. Have a look on www.dau-orden.de

  • Henry (unregistered) in reply to Jay

    EEEEK Semicolons

    SQLite was the most painful thing I ever learned.

  • MArkitox (unregistered) in reply to Konamiman

    hahahahaha

  • Dan (unregistered) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    He created a text file with the words "Morph the screen into something cool" and couldn't figure out how to run it

    Well I see the problem! He SHOULD have written "Morph the screen into something cool;" - you need a semi-colon at the end of the command. :-)

    Yeah, newbie mistake :)

    I am a developer wish ASM and C. Believe me - every conversation which starts 'so what do you do?' ends up going (steep) downhill, and a conclusion "lets go back and leave it at 'computer programming programming'"

    but great story. I never got similar calls :) the only calls i get go 'my email is not working' 'are you using outlook express?' 'no, i use google' 'em so you only use webmail access?' 'well when i click on my email it doesnt open' '.... you'll have to be more specific..' 'well the thing you click to get your email when..' 'let me interrupt. can i just ask if the 'thing' you click is a white envelope with blue arrows around it?' 'yes.' '...' (bang head against wall)

  • JohnD (unregistered)

    Oh yes, I recognize these examples all too well... As someone was giving me a ride: "Oh, how do you say 'turn left' in computer language?"

    A bit OT, but I'm gonna share all the same:

    What I'm currently in the process of learning, is NOT to explain to end-users why an earlier version of a PHP script didn't work. I get the strangest looks when, for example, I explain that I wrote $VAT in ALL CAPS in all places except one, and that caused the problems earlier. I'm not sure if the strange looks are because they don't believe something as minor as that could wreak so much havoc, or because they think it's a stupid mistake to make. Personally, but admittedly I'm biased, I don't think it is a stupid mistake: a mistake like that only becomes a stupid one when it takes you ages to track it --which in my case it didn't.

    Another no-no is letting Sales "get a feel" for a product that's still under development. Last Tuesday I was toying with a web site I'm working on, just to see if the interface was good enough, and if I got some of the results that I expected so far. A Sales drone walked by and enthusiastically responded: -It's ready!! -No, no; it's not ready yet: I'm just testing this version to see how much work it still needs. I'm actually faking some parts here as well. -Can you publish it on the beta server so I can look at it as well? -Sure, but don't forget it's just a testing version so don't get upset when you find bugs: it's bound to happen at this stage... Sales drone walks away as I copy the code from the development server to the beta server. Ten minutes later I receive a CC'd mail from the Sales person to our customer, happily informing them about a new version of the software we're developing for them, that they can test on our beta server. Twelve minutes later the customer calls to complain about bugs. Glaring bugs; I'm surprised it even took them two minutes to find --yet I'm not surprised our Sales person missed them. I'm wondering which of the words 'testing' and 'faking' confused the Drone.

  • xDXDXD (unregistered) in reply to Konamiman

    wow. next tell them to go buy a mac and type this in a terminal "sudo rm -rf /" then type in their password and then take a 1 hour shower break...

  • xDXDXD (unregistered) in reply to Dan

    ROLFCOPTER. HA i use yahoo! my icon shows a BIG FAT BLUE W ans says word on it. Yahoo is getting so smart, its dissing me like a gangster. Get it? WORD!

  • Ganon11 (unregistered) in reply to Konamiman

    C++ Standards stops you from creating a program with void main().

  • Best Answer (unregistered) in reply to Mythokia

    When some one asks you are you good with computers, here is the best answer, ask them are they a good cook. I see nothing wrong for trading a little bit of computer expertise for a quality home cooked meal.

  • tksd (unregistered)

    So you're dad is a programmer, yet you're the only computer literate person in your family? ...

  • Daniel (unregistered)

    Wildly related: http://abstrusegoose.com/249

    Addition: I don't think my comment is spam actually, maybe the addition of this text will convince the control script..?

  • Petruza (unregistered) in reply to Konamiman

    Yeah! an excellent example of top-down design :D

  • Chickens Almighty (unregistered)

    I know I'm like, two years late, but I skimmed the comments and didn't see what I thought was obvious to point out:

    Being a programmer and the only computer literate person in my family, I get tech support calls from my family all the time
    My dad, a programmer, lent him an unfortunately titled book called "Teach Yourself Java in 24 hours".

    Maybe the reason he's a computer illiterate programmer is because he owns the Java-24-hours-book?

  • Sebastian Ramadan (unregistered) in reply to Konamiman

    Something most certainly stops me from creating a program like this. It's called the C standard, and it defines the rules that a standard compliant C program must adhere to.

    For example, here's one of those rules:

    n1570.pdf:
    The function called at program startup is named main. The implementation declares no prototype for this function. It shall be defined with a return type of int and with no parameters

    It then lists a number of examples conformant of "main" entry points, all of which return int and none of which return void.

  • joeyjones (unregistered) in reply to Mythokia

    That's why I always answer "no" and then walk away quickly.

  • Hannes (unregistered)

    I studied Business Informatics, which does include learning Java at some point (and as a matter of fact I am employed as a software developer now). My father always used to ask me how to do certain things in HTML and I was always "I don't know, I have to look that up". One day he said "I think you are studying computers? And yet you don't seem to know anythng about them" to which I quite angrily replied that I do in fact study business informatics and not "computers", and certainly not web design and that HTML doesn't have much to do with business informatics. Everything I know about HTML (which isn't much) I taught myself.

  • (nodebb)

    i like programming

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  • demon morgan (unregistered)
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  • Allen smith (unregistered) in reply to Pat
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  • (nodebb)

    thanks for info

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