The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

chubertdev · 2013-08-20 Reply Admin

wsm66:
YourName:
DCRoss:
Bruce Johnson:
Guilty. In my defense, I'm Canadian and we don't have DEFCON numbers here. Our highest level of readiness comes annually. Every spring, when the moose get randy.
If you think your level of readiness is stressful, just think about how Randy feels.
A møøse once bit the President's daughter... No realli! And let me tell you, it was no laughing matter!

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked

We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

no laughing matter · 2013-08-20 Reply Admin

YourName:
A møøse once bit the President's daughter... No realli! And let me tell you, it was no laughing matter!

Almost correct, but it is spelt "hit" , not "bit".

Yes, her sickness was actually a STD.

2013-08-20 Reply Admin

"It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator)" Drivel. Tell me what the weather was where the action takes place. Adding in the parenthetical just distracts and pushes the reader out of the story.

"(because in the world of instant communication and always on-line connectivity, it will occasionally take a full day for an email to arrive at the intended destination…doesn’t it?)" Please become familiar with internet standards. After all, you're posting on a website for people who are likely to be familiar with such standards. Emails can take up to 1 week to result in delivery failure. This is meant to account for down servers and down connections. It's a long-standing standard delay.

2013-08-20 Reply Admin

Tim happily ponied up his credit card info into the company’s online store

Clicked ponied expecting beautiful glittery unicorns.

Disappointed.

Remy needs to start reviewing other posters to make sure the appropriate hidden comments and unicorns are correctly inserted.

2013-08-20 Reply Admin

tdwtf employs f'd editors:
"It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator)" Drivel. Tell me what the weather was where the action takes place. Adding in the parenthetical just distracts and pushes the reader out of the story.
"(because in the world of instant communication and always on-line connectivity, it will occasionally take a full day for an email to arrive at the intended destination…doesn’t it?)" Please become familiar with internet standards. After all, you're posting on a website for people who are likely to be familiar with such standards. Emails can take up to 1 week to result in delivery failure. This is meant to account for down servers and down connections. It's a long-standing standard delay.

Well - the real WTF is that Spring in the southern hemisphere is the same season as Spring in the northern hemisphere - it comes after Winter and before Summer, no matter which hemisphere you're in. Yes, the two hemispheres have opposite seasons at the same time, but "it was spring" refers to a specific season. "It was April" means a specific month - where it would have been spring in the northern hemisphere and autumn in the southern hemisphere, but saying "it was spring" is locale-dependant. It's like saying "it cost three lira". Depends on the location to determine how much the lira is worth.

Zylon · 2013-08-20 Reply Admin

Anonypony:
Remy needs to start reviewing other posters to make sure the appropriate hidden comments and unicorns are correctly inserted.

Or he could do something useful like proofreading.

2013-08-20 Reply Admin

QJo:
"... charting control for the company’s Web-based product ... Tim happily ponied up his credit card info..."
There's TRWTF, right there. Using your own credit card to purchase s/w for the company?

Well guess what. In a small company it's common practice to use our own credit cards, cash, bank transfers, etc., and submit the receipts for reimbursement from the company.

QJo:
Please take your computer, pack it away in the box it came in, and take it back to the shop. You're too stupid to own a computer.

Now there's TRWTF, right there. Returning your own computer instead of the company's computer. (Unless, working for a small company, maybe there's no call to return anything.)

lucidfox · 2013-08-21 Reply Admin

Tim was looking for a charting control for the company’s Web-based product. After scouring the Interwebs, he found one that was perfect. It did exactly what was needed, was inexpensive, and had no royalties.

Inexpensive? You mean he PAID for it? That's TRWTF.

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

tdwtf employs f'd editors:
"It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator)" Drivel. Tell me what the weather was where the action takes place. Adding in the parenthetical just distracts and pushes the reader out of the story.
"(because in the world of instant communication and

// snip

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

QJo:
JimmyCrackedCorn:
What makes you think that our protagonist is using Java? How about ASP.Net, Ruby, etc, etc ??? Granted, there is probably a decent charting control for each and every one...

TRWTF3 is not using Java.

Maybe he didn't have 128GB of available memory in his Enterprisey setup?

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

QJo:
"... charting control for the company’s Web-based product ... Tim happily ponied up his credit card info..."
There's TRWTF, right there. Using your own credit card to purchase s/w for the company?

Please take your computer, pack it away in the box it came in, and take it back to the shop. You're too stupid to own a computer.

TRWTF2 is paying money at all, when JFreeChart has been around for ever.

Wow, where to start with the assumptions in that post.

You assume "his credit card" means "his personal credit card" and not "his company-issued card".
Even if we grant #1, you're assuming that Tim is not the owner of the company, which would make it a moot point anyway.
As others have noted, even granting #1 and #2, you're assuming that the company does not reimburse employees for work-related expenses.
You're assuming that he is coding in Java.
Granting #4, you're assuming that JFreeChart meets his requirements. As the only description of his requirements was that he needed "a charting control", there's no way to know from this story exactly what his requirements were. If someone says, "I'm going to the store to buy a book", do you immediately reply, "Don't waste your time. I have a book right here" ?

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

Zylon:
Anonypony:
Remy needs to start reviewing other posters to make sure the appropriate hidden comments and unicorns are correctly inserted.
Or he could do something useful like proofreading.

That sounds boring.

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

To be secure, a good password should include a mix of upper- and lower-case letters, at least one digit, and be at least eight characters long.

Therefore, we recommend "Password1".

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

Canuck:
Reward points obtained in this manner are taxable income.

I bet you're a hoot at parties.

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

Hairy Cow:
tdwtf employs f'd editors:
"It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator)" Drivel. Tell me what the weather was where the action takes place. Adding in the parenthetical just distracts and pushes the reader out of the story.

Well - the real WTF is that Spring in the southern hemisphere is the same season as Spring in the northern hemisphere - it comes after Winter and before Summer, no matter which hemisphere you're in. Yes, the two hemispheres have opposite seasons at the same time, but "it was spring" refers to a specific season. "It was April" means a specific month - where it would have been spring in the northern hemisphere and autumn in the southern hemisphere, but saying "it was spring" is locale-dependant. It's like saying "it cost three lira". Depends on the location to determine how much the lira is worth.

That's the most long-winded way of saying "It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator)". What part is so confusing that you had to expound on it?

tdwtf employs f'd editors:
"(because in the world of instant communication and always on-line connectivity, it will occasionally take a full day for an email to arrive at the intended destination…doesn’t it?)" Please become familiar with internet standards. After all, you're posting on a website for people who are likely to be familiar with such standards. Emails can take up to 1 week to result in delivery failure. This is meant to account for down servers and down connections. It's a long-standing standard delay.

My take on that was more a subtle jab at companies that do some parts of "automated" processes manually, so that it takes as long as the delay until a human can see and handle it. Particularly with one-man companies.

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

foxyshadis:
Hairy Cow:
tdwtf employs f'd editors:
"It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator)" Drivel. Tell me what the weather was where the action takes place. Adding in the parenthetical just distracts and pushes the reader out of the story.

Well - the real WTF is that Spring in the southern hemisphere is the same season as Spring in the northern hemisphere - it comes after Winter and before Summer, no matter which hemisphere you're in. Yes, the two hemispheres have opposite seasons at the same time, but "it was spring" refers to a specific season. "It was April" means a specific month - where it would have been spring in the northern hemisphere and autumn in the southern hemisphere, but saying "it was spring" is locale-dependant. It's like saying "it cost three lira". Depends on the location to determine how much the lira is worth.
That's the most long-winded way of saying "It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator)". What part is so confusing that you had to expound on it?

The confusing part was that the rest of the paragraph was obviously talking about Spring, not "Spring (or Autumn, if you live south of the equator)". If the weather in the Southern Hemisphere were relevant, it would need to read:

It was spring (or autumn, if you live south of the equator). A time when everyone's heart is a little bit lighter (or heavier). When the layers of clothing are worn just a bit looser (or tighter). When even the infirmed have a spring (or slump) in their step.

chubertdev · 2013-08-21 Reply Admin

Krunt:
QJo:
JimmyCrackedCorn:
What makes you think that our protagonist is using Java? How about ASP.Net, Ruby, etc, etc ??? Granted, there is probably a decent charting control for each and every one...

TRWTF3 is not using Java.

Maybe he didn't have 128GB of available memory in his Enterprisey setup?

Only 128GB? Is there now a super-lightweight, express version of Java?

2013-08-21 Reply Admin

Bruce Johnson:
Guilty. In my defense, I'm Canadian and we don't have DEFCON numbers here. Our highest level of readiness comes annually. Every spring, when the moose get randy.

Odd, since moose mate in the fall...

Gunslnger · 2013-08-22 Reply Admin

Canuck:
Reward points obtained in this manner are taxable income.

Not in the U.S.

2013-08-22 Reply Admin

Benjamin:
Bruce Johnson:
Guilty. In my defense, I'm Canadian and we don't have DEFCON numbers here. Our highest level of readiness comes annually. Every spring, when the moose get randy.

Odd, since moose mate in the fall...

African or european moose?

2013-08-22 Reply Admin

[quote user="Jay"][quote user="QJo"]"... charting control for the company’s Web-based product ... Tim happily ponied up his credit card info..."

There's TRWTF, right there. Using your own credit card to purchase s/w for the company?

Please take your computer, pack it away in the box it came in, and take it back to the shop. You're too stupid to own a computer.

TRWTF2 is paying money at all, when JFreeChart has been around for ever.[/quote]

Wow, where to start with the assumptions in that post.

You assume "his credit card" means "his personal credit card" and not "his company-issued card".
Even if we grant #1, you're assuming that Tim is not the owner of the company, which would make it a moot point anyway. quote]

You mean mute point.

CAPTCHA: Frøst.

2013-08-22 Reply Admin

Jay:
QJo:
"... charting control for the company’s Web-based product ... Tim happily ponied up his credit card info..."
There's TRWTF, right there. Using your own credit card to purchase s/w for the company?

Please take your computer, pack it away in the box it came in, and take it back to the shop. You're too stupid to own a computer.

TRWTF2 is paying money at all, when JFreeChart has been around for ever.

Wow, where to start with the assumptions in that post.

You assume "his credit card" means "his personal credit card" and not "his company-issued card".

Even if we grant #1, you're assuming that Tim is not the owner of the company, which would make it a moot point anyway.

You mean mute point.

CAPTCHA: Frøst.

2013-08-22 Reply Admin

CigarDoug:
Jay:
... which would make it a moot point anyway.
You mean mute point.

Are you joking or just stupid?

2013-08-22 Reply Admin

FasterThanILook:
+1. Mosquitos deliver West Nile, SARS is not transmitted by insects

The article said nothing about SARS transmission, it said

the whine of a mosquito about to deliver a package of SARS.

Clearly mosquitoes are being trained as cargo carriers for small payloads, probably by the US government. A well-trained mosquito can deliver up to 5mg of bioweapon to unsuspecting chinese politicians, businessmen, and IT professionals. It's a wonder that the Chinese economy was able to survive in the face of such a devious conspiracy.

chubertdev · 2013-08-22 Reply Admin

Krunt:
CigarDoug:
Jay:
... which would make it a moot point anyway.
You mean mute point.

Are you joking or just stupid?

Probably both.

2013-11-13 Reply Admin

chubertdev:
Krunt:
CigarDoug:
Jay:
... which would make it a moot point anyway.
You mean mute point.

Are you joking or just stupid?

Probably both.

http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Moot

Customer Self-Service

Leave a comment on “Customer Self-Service”