• bd (unregistered)

    ********* COMMENT ORDER FORM *********

    Employee Name: B. D. Work Date: 05/14/2008 16:33 PM Work Performed By: Writers Guild of America Action Requested:

    Please write a witty comment when I'm done reading.

  • (cs)

    Excellent story.

    I must have missed something, though. What's this "fart noise thing?" Does it have anything to do with Reginald Perrin?

  • (cs)

    This guy is my hero.

  • (cs) in reply to Saladin
    Saladin:
    This guy is my hero.

    hear hear. the little guy fights back, and wins :'-)

  • (cs)

    Did he check the chair he had to sit in before sitting down? If there was a spring poking out of the cushion, he would need to apply for a Spring Compression Authorization from the International Organization of Bouncy Metal Coils. I hear that it takes up to two weeks to process the paperwork.

  • (cs)

    Did he get his compensation for a potentially fatal electrocution?

    This is very serious and should not be treated simply as a source of humour.

  • Gamma (unregistered)

    I doubt the veracity of the story, especially the part where he got others to co-operate with him in filing work orders to turn their computers off etc..

  • (cs)

    Would not the operation of power equiptment also include the use of said computers? It seems to me that a Union member with such permissions should sit and "operate" the computers while the non-permitted employees dictate. That would probably be the most productive way to follow the rules.

  • (cs)

    I love this story. Thanks!

  • Harry (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that the union didn't file a grievance.

  • (cs) in reply to LieutenantFrost
    LieutenantFrost:
    I hear that it takes up to two weeks to process the paperwork.
    <PYTHON>We used to *dream* of waiting only two weeks!</PYTHON>
  • (cs) in reply to Gamma
    Gamma:
    I doubt the veracity of the story, especially the part where he got others to co-operate with him in filing work orders to turn their computers off etc..
    You have a vastly different type of co-worker than I. The people around here would love an opportunity like that.
  • (cs)

    Ah, silly union rules -- the real WTF. It's nice that Shawn succeeded in subverting them through ... mass worker activism.

  • (cs)

    Pressing keys on a keyboard or mouse = operating electrical switches that have power applied to them. Though a small about of power it is still power therefor a "power switch" he should have hand filled some forms requesting the union type out the form and submit it :D

    Bah unions are such a waste of time and the real WTF was the cover being left off a rely... which was the original problem and the person who did that should have been blamed...

  • Nawak (unregistered)

    He should have also taken an electrocardiogramm after the shock. The "funny" thing with fibrillation is that it is not reversible without equipement and that it can happen to only a part of the heart. So your heart may still be doing its job, but with less "capacity" (may be lost forever if not defibrillated quickly)

  • (cs) in reply to spacix
    spacix:
    Pressing keys on a keyboard or mouse = operating electrical switches that have power applied to them. Though a small about of power it is still power therefor a "power switch" he should have hand filled some forms requesting the union type out the form and submit it :D

    Bah unions are such a waste of time and the real WTF was the cover being left off a rely... which was the original problem and the person who did that should have been blamed...

    Nah, you just know that the relay cover is still sitting there, not doing it's job. Perhaps because it didn't fill out the paperwork requesting that it be placed over the live relay...

  • Nawak (unregistered) in reply to spacix
    spacix:
    Pressing keys on a keyboard or mouse = operating electrical switches that have power applied to them. Though a small about of power it is still power therefor a "power switch" he should have hand filled some forms requesting the union type out the form and submit it :D
    Joking apart, you don't need special authorization/accreditation/formation when you work with very low voltage (<50V AC)
  • Cybercat (unregistered) in reply to Nawak

    So you have to get electrocuted TWICE in order to continue normal healthy behavior?

    SHOCK ON! ZAP-ZAP SHOCK OFF! ZAP-ZAP SHOCK ON, SHOCK OFF, THE SHOCKER! ZAP-ZAP

    Even old people can heal on a limited basis, I can't imagine one little shock would give him permanent disability unless he had a pre-existing heart condition or genetic defect.

  • (cs)
    Jake:
    ...yelling a word or two that would make a sailor blush...
    I'm always up for learning new ways to express myself; can you please share those words?
  • Patrick (unregistered) in reply to GettinSadda
    GettinSadda:
    Did he get his compensation for a potentially fatal electrocution?

    This is very serious and should not be treated simply as a source of humour.

    That's exactly the reason why he was cited for a safety violation so they wouldn't have to pay Workers' Comp.

  • Philipp (unregistered)

    I think the real WTF here is that second-grade farting thing. How can something like this be on a permanent record when already working? Please tell me that this was a joke! Poor Americans (I guess Jake is american, right?)

  • James (unregistered)

    Heh, unions are the Real WTF. Seriously.

  • tezoatlipoca (unregistered) in reply to Gamma
    Gamma:
    I doubt the veracity of the story, especially the part where he got others to co-operate with him in filing work orders to turn their computers off etc..
    I doubt the veracity of your comment, especially the part where you drastically underestimate the beauraucracy and WTFness of working in a unionized environment (and frustration of non-unionized employees working therein).

    I know a plant engineer who was written up for changing a light bulb; it was 2AM, the plant electricians had long since gone home, the drawings needed to be finished tomorrow or the new assembly line wouldn't be ready for production costing the company millions in delay.

    The submitters response is brilliant and appropriate and I would have done the same thing (if I had been witty enough to think of it.)

  • Philipp (unregistered) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    (I guess Jake is american, right?)
    Sorry, for quoting myself, but no edit-option here: I meant Shawn, of course
  • (cs) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    I think the real WTF here is that second-grade farting thing. How can something like this be on a permanent record when already working? Please tell me that this was a joke! Poor Americans (I guess Jake is american, right?)

    I'm pretty sure it's a joke - teachers say "this is going on your permanent record" to intimidate kids, but there's no actual permanent record that goes from school to the rest of your life - except your grades.

  • Shawn G. (unregistered) in reply to Nawak

    That's a nasty thing to know, but it explains a few things. I've worked on various electric devices since I could hold a screwdriver. I've even got scars from some of the nastier early toddler lessons in electricity. The incident with the power relay was just enough to get a good curse. The number of times I've been shocked is large, mostly in my youth, now I'm a bit more practiced. But correctly enough, I do have minor fibrillation problems.

  • Philipp (unregistered) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    (I guess Jake is american, right?)
    Sorry, for quoting myself, but no edit-option here: I meant Shawn, of course
  • Boondoggle (unregistered) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    I think the real WTF here is that second-grade farting thing. How can something like this be on a permanent record when already working? Please tell me that this was a joke! Poor Americans (I guess Jake is american, right?)

    That's what PERMANENT RECORD means. If you could remove things from it it wouldn't be permanent, now would it?

  • (cs) in reply to Nawak

    It takes less than 25mA arm to arm to kill you. Human skin requires >7 Vrms to break the skin...

    All joking in line and up front, I suggest you go grab a 50Vac with 1A current hand to hand and test this theory :D

    The real wtf could have been him sticking his hand into a live enclosure without shutting it's power off and adding a tag to cord ;)

  • Anony-mouse (unregistered)

    Ah union rules. Such bull. They're a WTF which cause actual problems, such as cancelling surgery because a light bulb couldn't be changed; http://www.rte.ie/news/2007/1031/hospital.html

  • (cs) in reply to Nawak
    Nawak:
    Joking apart, you don't need special authorization/accreditation/formation when you work with very low voltage (<50V AC)
    In another life, I was a hardware design engineer working for what was then THE UK's giant electronics conglomerate. One day, a safety instruction was circulated ruling that all equipment operating above 24V DC (might even have been 12V DC) had to be fully enclosed. This included prototypes and breadboards ! If you could justify it, you might be permitted a perspex enclosure so you could see the blinky lights, and even a couple of holes for test probes.

    Somebody in the mechanical shop would have to make the damned things, and then you had to get authorisation to apply power. The sole person with authority to make that decision was a part-time, semi-retired wireman/technician who was only on site for two or three days a week, and who barely understood Ohm's law.

    I can't remember how long the instruction was in force, but it was quietly dropped after a short time.

  • morry (unregistered)

    Mmmm. I love the smell of Justice in the morning.

    /mangled cliches ftw

  • Shawn G. (unregistered) in reply to Random832
    Random832:
    Philipp:
    I think the real WTF here is that second-grade farting thing. How can something like this be on a permanent record when already working? Please tell me that this was a joke! Poor Americans (I guess Jake is american, right?)

    I'm pretty sure it's a joke - teachers say "this is going on your permanent record" to intimidate kids, but there's no actual permanent record that goes from school to the rest of your life - except your grades.

    The farting thing was what I was thinking about in my head, the rest is pretty much spot on.

  • Steve (unregistered)

    Sometimes it pays to be passive-agressive.

  • NewbiusMaximus (unregistered)

    Man, I'm not patient enough to stick around to subvert the union workplace, since one disgruntled worker just doesn't permanently change workplace cultures that are that far gone. I'm pretty sure my response to the verdict would have been, "Fuck you guys, I'm going to work somewhere that idiots aren't in charge," followed by a trip to the local bar (and possibly to the office of a lawyer specializing in workman's comp claims the next day).

  • (cs) in reply to Random832
    Random832:
    Philipp:
    I think the real WTF here is that second-grade farting thing. How can something like this be on a permanent record when already working? Please tell me that this was a joke! Poor Americans (I guess Jake is american, right?)

    I'm pretty sure it's a joke - teachers say "this is going on your permanent record" to intimidate kids, but there's no actual permanent record that goes from school to the rest of your life - except your grades.

    Actually I believe, in academic terms, such a thing does or did exist. Records about certain things forwarded from school to school.

    It's probably a lot less common these days though.

  • Paul (unregistered) in reply to bd

    Wimp. Running to the nurse with a boo-boo caused by a little electric shock.

    When I worked for a year as an electrician's mate (it's not as kinky as it sounds), the electrician taught me to check for live wires by touching them lightly with the back of my hand. I still do that when I do some electrical work - it made for some awe among the straight-from-high-school students when I moved on to do engineering at college.

    Still, this guy was a Ukranian immigrant who reminisced about warming himself up standing right beside the radar domes while doing guard duty in Siberia during his military service ...

  • Rob (unregistered)

    Are you in fact the BOFH in disguise?

  • (cs) in reply to spacix
    spacix:

    The real wtf could have been him sticking his hand into a live enclosure without shutting it's power off and adding a tag to cord ;)

    Now, Now, how can you turn the computer on if you swapped the power off ? The main problem is that he shifted his attention away ! You don't reach into an enclosure without carefully watching where your hands go.

  • Anon Fred (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Jake:
    ...yelling a word or two that would make a sailor blush...
    I'm always up for learning new ways to express myself; can you please share those words?

    It will be clbuttic.

  • Ozymandias (unregistered)

    The REAL WTF is all the commenters that are so Luddite as to be afraid of a little electricity. I have been shocked by 110 electricity multiple times.

    As long as it is a "one-hand" shock you are fine -- its not crossing your heart or anything.

  • Khanmots (unregistered) in reply to Ozymandias
    Ozymandias:
    The REAL WTF is all the commenters that are so Luddite as to be afraid of a little electricity. I have been shocked by 110 electricity multiple times.

    As long as it is a "one-hand" shock you are fine -- its not crossing your heart or anything.

    I had the joy of grabbing hold of copper tubing to stead myself (it was being used as a compressed air line) when I leaned over to turn on a miswired air compressor (one of it's 120V leads had been swapped with the ground...) with my other hand.

    I've had a healthy respect for electricity ever since... "one-hand" shock or not :P

  • (cs)

    This is a good argument for union rules. Presumably, some unqualified joker left the cover off the relay and almost got our protagonist killed.

    But what do I know? I got in trouble for sticking my mom's car keys into an electrical outlet when I was 3 or 4. My brother left a battery in the oven and he's a doctor now.

  • (cs) in reply to Paul
    Paul:
    When I worked for a year as an electrician's mate (it's not as kinky as it sounds), the electrician taught me to check for live wires by touching them lightly with the back of my hand.

    We were taught to use the back of a finger.

    It is the safest way to test using only what you were born with. If the wire is live, the muscular spasm will pull your finger/hand away from the wire.

    What NOT to do is to touch with the front of your hand/finger. If you do that, the spasm will clamp your hand around the wire, which isn't healthy...

    Of course, it's safer to use other means to test for a live wire, but I always tend to pull the fuse, test with an "electricians' screwdriver", then as a final test either touch it with the back of a finger, or if I'm feeling wimpy, just touch the live wire to the earth wire.

  • Shawn G. (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    Sometimes it pays to be passive-agressive.

    I've got a favored tactic to deal with incompetence, get requests in writing, then do exactly what is requested. It's created some real chaos in the past.

  • Nick (unregistered) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:
    left a battery in the oven and he's a doctor now.
    Left? As in, there was a good reason for it to be in there in the first place?
  • (cs) in reply to Ozymandias
    Ozymandias:
    The REAL WTF is all the commenters that are so Luddite as to be afraid of a little electricity. I have been shocked by 110 electricity multiple times.

    As long as it is a "one-hand" shock you are fine -- its not crossing your heart or anything.

    As a qualified electrician - your comments scare me. Not a lot though because I will get a kick out of seeing you nominated for a Darwin Award for trying to prove this!

  • Bob N Freely (unregistered)

    At my first job out of college, we had this VP of engineering that had "bold" ideas about how to manage a large scale project. One day he sent out an email to everyone saying that he wanted us to start sending him daily status reports from now on. There were 200 people working on the project. He cried uncle after 4 days.

    The following month he sent email to all of the test staff, letting us know that he expected us to file at least one new bug every day. Seriously, I wish I was making this stuff up. The obvious happened: everyone started filing bogus bugs, resolving them as "no repro", and then closing them.

    He retired a few months later, with plans to circumnavigate the globe with his family on their 45 foot cruiser. No idea if they made it all the way around.

  • (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Jake:
    ...yelling a word or two that would make a sailor blush...
    I'm always up for learning new ways to express myself; can you please share those words?

    Clinton cunnilingus.

  • Ozymandias (unregistered) in reply to Khanmots

    This would not be a "one-hand" the entry and exit for the current are on different arms, if I am reading this correctly. I am not saying that the shock doesn't sting, but it is by no means a workers comp issue.

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