• Bosshog (unregistered) in reply to MadJo@Work
    MadJo@Work:
    Hypo:
    I'd go to the store and eat a peach.
    The peach tastes like chicken, now what are you to do?
    Mmmm, cheach.
  • Anon Barbarzyńca (unregistered) in reply to coderdude4k
    coderdude4k:
    You are in an open field west of a big white house
with a boarded front door.
There is client here.
> LOOK CLIENT

    I don't understand that.
    

    

    TAKE CLIENT
    

    

    The client is too large.
    

    

    SAY HI
    

    

    The client doesn't notice you.
    

    

    GET ATTENTION
    

    

    I don't understand that.
    

    

    YELL
    

    

    The client turns and looks at you angrily.
    

    

    APOLOGIZE
    

    

    What do you want to apologize to?
    

    

    CLIENT
    

    

    I don't understand that.
    

    

    APOLOGIZE CLIENT
    

    

    The client accepts your apology, but says his server is
down and he wants to cancel his contract.
    

    

    APOLOGIZE CLIENT
    

    

    The client accepts your apology, but says his server is
down and he wants to cancel his contract.
The client looks sick.
    

    

    LOOK CLIENT
    

    

    The client has died.  0 out of 0 point(s).
Now what do you do?
    

    

    QUIT GAME
    

    

    I don't understand that.

    You have been eaten by a grue.

  • Dave (unregistered)

    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ...

    The correct response here in the UK would be "That would be an ecumenical matter."

    (c.f. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father_Jack_Hackett for those unfortunate enough not to get the reference)

  • dubdub (unregistered) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    Ozz:
    kingjoebob:
    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...
    That's easy. Vi.

    I countered "Firefox, Safari, or Opera?" with "Lynx" and got the job.

    For that question, I'd say either notepad or Word. The interviewer most likely wants to check whether or not you actually know what both are (slight possibility that they want to know if you actually have an opinion).

    The joke answer is a good way to say:

    1. Yes, I know they're both text editors, and
    2. It's a freaking text editor. I'll use whichever one I want and it's none of your business.
    3. I have a sense of humor and you can actually get along with me.

    I'd answer 'I use 'ed', because it is the standard.'

  • Captain Nugget (unregistered) in reply to jtl

    I exit the cave to the West.

    I have been eaten by a Grue.

  • biskuit (unregistered) in reply to dubdub
    dubdub:
    I'd answer 'I use 'ed', because it is the standard.'

    Wot, no EDLIN?

  • QQ (unregistered) in reply to Greg
    Greg:
    Ok, I'll try to explain my point again. I don't normally ask stress questions like this when I interview people, but, if I was hiring for a job where the candidate had to deal with unreasonable dicks, then I would probably consider acting like an unreasonable dick to see how the candidate would react. If the guy can't deal with an unreasonable dick in a professional manner, then he's not suitable for the job. Some companies just have to deal with unreasonable dicks! That kind of job's probably not for most of the people here, but it's still gotta be done. Ask any tech support guy.

    I'm sure I'm not the only one who can accept that customers will sometimes be unreasonable dicks, but would be unwilling to work somewhere where my boss was an unreasonable dick. Even though I'm capable of dealing with unreasonable dicks, if someone in a position to interview me acted that way, I'd probably not feel it worth the trouble.

  • Crabs (unregistered) in reply to Franz Kafka
    Franz Kafka:
    Crabs:
    I feel bad for all you interviewees. I got my job at my current company (which is a Fortune 100 gov't contractor) by answering "What is a cartesian product?" correctly. My boss said I'd be suprised how many college CS grads don't know the answer.

    Makes me sad, it does.

    So what was your answer? Mine would be 'usually a really bad idea'.

    I said "it's when you match everything in one set with everything in another set, or in SQL, a cross join. It's usually a really bad idea." I believe those were my exact words.

  • Crabs (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    Crabs:
    I feel bad for all you interviewees. I got my job at my current company (which is a Fortune 100 gov't contractor) by answering "What is a cartesian product?" correctly. My boss said I'd be suprised how many college CS grads don't know the answer.

    Makes me sad, it does.

    (a) How often have you ever used a cartesian product? (b) How difficult do you think this would be for even the feeblest SQL idiot to look up on the Web and (c) This sorta defines the hiring strategy for "Fortune 100 gov't contractors," doesn't it?

    Feebs. Oops, sorry, didn't mean to insult the CIA or any other government agency involved in this lo-tech pork-barrel technological catastrophe.

    a) All the time in mathematics. Computer Science (not programming) is mostly math. b) Yay for looking things up. That's really not the point. Having some basic knowledge of how sets work is integral to any CS position, and a cartesian product is the most basic of the basic. c) Maybe I didn't clarify enough. There were several other questions involving my previous work experience, my skills and abilities, and some tech questions. This was the question that I got right, that no one else they interviewed did.

  • aGeekInTraining (unregistered) in reply to vt_mruhlin

    Better yet, Butterflies

  • (cs) in reply to ChiefCrazyTalk
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    Actually its a (lame) test of mental ability - they note your answer and ask the same question again half an hour later but reverse the two options ("spaghetti or pizza" instead of "pizza or spaghetti"). If you give the same answer both times you pass. Supposedly, 80% of candidates fail this test. Personally, as long as they don't answer "Whats a stringbuilder" I don't mind.

    Why should that be a failure if you don't remember which meaningless answer you gave to a meaningless question earlier? Or if you remember and decide to go with the other meaningless answer for variety the second time.

    As for "What's a stringbuilder?" That's a perfectly acceptable response to that question. They may know what a stringbuilder is in relation to software, but obviously this isn't about that kind of stringbuilder (they hate Italian food), so clarification is needed.

  • Ty (unregistered)

    Mod me up.

    Solution:

    You: "Hi (say first name), My manager is currently unavailable however I had a chance contact with [insert big important name here] the District Manager of Operations between meetings and he stated to me that I am to get the job done no matter what it takes, wither or not you like it, and no matter how full of angst you get. My manager will be giving you a call tomorrow morning to discuss the contract situation and if you have any further issues with him you may have my personal cell# (give number) to contact me."

    Cust: That isn't good enough, I want to talk to your district manager, now!

    Me: What exactly are your expectations?

    Cust: *Will rant and rave, and be full of angst until you get there, during the time you are fixing the items in question, and until you leave."

    Interviewer will say you get to the job site but don't have the right tools and cannot acquire them until tomorrow or something.

    Me: Explain situation to customer, figure out a good solution.

    Cust: Gets full of angst.

    Me: Anything else I can do for you? [Solved]

    Now, talking to the interviewer.

    gets up from table "It's been a nice interview however I believe I will be on my way. If you need to ask people who are going to start here how to plan for every eventuality like that then you are obviously either servicing assholes who will waste your time and money and abuse the help, or you have major problems within the company you're looking for someone with the ability to solve and while I can shovel shit with the best of them, I'm not going to deal with subpar management and neither will anyone else. Thank you for your time, sir."

    That last move will impress them more than anything.

  • Dan (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi

    First answer would have been to verify the server was not operating correctly. Otherwise you were in a traffic jam for nothing.

  • kingjoebob (unregistered) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    That's easy, the interviewers are Emacs weenies. No self respecting user of the one true editor calls it "Vi" - it's "VI", and pronounced as two syllables.

    So sorry for not using VI but as I type vi into my shell I am greeted with ~ VIM - Vi IMproved ~ ~ version 7.0.235 ~ by Bram Moolenaar et al. ~ Vim is open source and freely distributable

    Now this could be debian just doing its own thing as they are known to do...

  • Dr. Kaborkian (unregistered)

    Wait... you mean there aren't droves of godlike uberprogrammers willing to lick the brown cream out of a complete dork's anus just to get a badly paid job in an office building litterally (excuse the pun) located right next to a garbage dump? Great. Why didn't you tell me before I wasted my precious time holding dozens of interviews? That's one strike against each of you - for every applicant, that is. I'll even call all of your respective bosses and have you replaced with diligent Elbonian work slaves before you can count to (int) true. Bwahahaha!

  • Gup20 (unregistered)

    As to the hypothetical question,

    The interviewer was trying to see if you could "think outside the box"... trying to see if you could come up with creative, unusual, unorthodox, and multiple methods of resolving a problem.

    What you needed to do is turn hypothetical questions against the hypothetical user. There is a proverb that says "answer a fool according to his folly"... meaning if that interviewer is asking you to solve an impossible hypothetical situation, why can't you solve it with an impossible hypothetical answer?

    "your customer calls and wants it fixed now, and wants you there now in person, but the customer wont' be there until tomorrow... what do you?"
    You just need to ask more hypothetically impossible questions than the interviewer.... such as "Do I have a time machine at my disposal?" or "have I mastered transporter technology by this point?" You could also mention that when you installed the servers at their location you convinced them to upgrade to that new backup system and you have their offsite tapes from this morning's pickup sitting on your desk.

    Or... when he says you are stuck in traffic, tell him you have a police scanner and would have avoided the accident site by finding an alternate route on your in-car GPS. You don't need to actually have these items because - remember - this is all hypothetical. Additionally you hypothetically have a cousin who works as a helicopter pilot giving tours of the city. He owes you a favor and said if you ever needed to get out of a Jam he would drop what he was doing to be there for you.

  • Arksyne (unregistered)

    If you kept your finger in page 53, it isn't so bad when the ghost eats you.

  • Carlos (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi

    That line of questioning isn't unusual. Interviewer is likely looking for.

    1. When do you let your management know there night be an issue.
    2. Teamwork - How long it takes you to try and solve the problem without your own resources. When do you starting thinking of others in a team.

    "As a last resort I contact someone else in our team directly who may be able to avoid the tanker incident."

    If they insist on going further then you need to park up and get on public transport.

    1. Smartass answer = fail.
  • nehalp100 (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    Call the police because you just broke the law! Damn, I just did it as well.

  • nehalp100 (unregistered) in reply to Tom_fan_63

    Commit suicide, can't fire me now!

  • sorrow (unregistered) in reply to Carlos

    Theres still a few steps you can take without getting too absurd

    Walk past the tanker and hail a cab. No cabs Public transport. No public transport. Call a limo. No limos. Purchase bicycle from shop close by. No shops. Call in favor from friend to pick you up. No friends. Wife. Unavailable. Customers. No customers Hitchike. No takers.

    Theres 8 more answers. Need more?

  • pegr (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    All you guys missed it.

    Everyone is so focused on fixing the problem, they missed what the problem is. The problem is NOT the failed hardware/software, the problem is the upset client. Work on fixing the upset client, then worry about the technical failure.

  • Gup20 (unregistered) in reply to pegr
    pegr:
    All you guys missed it.

    Everyone is so focused on fixing the problem, they missed what the problem is. The problem is NOT the failed hardware/software, the problem is the upset client. Work on fixing the upset client, then worry about the technical failure.

    But the "problem" isn't the hypothetical customer at all... the "problem" is the satisfaction of the interviewer.

    Your best shot is to answer in generalized terms that make you look good, but don't leave the interviewer with a foot in the door to modify the scenario.

    For example, say "after I've assured the customer that we have people working on the problem, and that I've sufficiently escalated the issue to the proper authorities, and calmed the customer down, I would sell them one of our backup solutions to insure this problem doesn't re-occur".

    By talking in generalizations, you can 'cover every scenario' much faster and more efficiently. Instead of say I would hail a cab, hop on a bus, hitchhike, etc... you could simply say "I would find alternate transportation along an alternate route". If all other "alternate transport" is unavailable, then your customer has bigger things to worry about for themselves and their business than the technical issue you are trying to solve. But notice your problem resolution process would remain unchanged. I don't think the interviewer would expect you to solve a city-wide transportation crisis in order to visit your customer's site. But if he did... Assure the city you have people working on it, and that you have escalated the problem to the proper authorities.... once the people have calmed down.... lay out your plans for upgrading the transportation infrastructure of the city to make sure this doesn't happen again....

  • TInkerghost (unregistered) in reply to Gup20
    As to the hypothetical question,

    The interviewer was trying to see if you could "think outside the box"... trying to see if you could come up with creative, unusual, unorthodox, and multiple methods of resolving a problem

    This is the ideal time for the Vodka Solution. Int: Your client is shouting that you have to fix the server today even if the part isn't available until tomorrow. Me: I tell the customer I have a temporary solution & go buy a fifth of Vodka. I make him drink until he starts babbling about wanting pig fat. At this point he's too drunk to be a bother, & tomorrow he'll be too hung over to be loud & obnoxious. 2 days of win for about $5, well worth the expense.

  • Michael Llaneza (unregistered) in reply to sakasune
    sakasune:
    In that first interview I would have said "okay, if I'm stuck in traffic then I'll sprout wings and fly to the customer." Then the interviewer would probably reply, "what if you got sucked into a jet engine while flying to the customer?"

    "If I got sucked into a jet engine then the client isn't my problem anymore anyway."

  • (cs) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    That's easy, the interviewers are Emacs weenies. No self respecting user of the one true editor calls it "Vi" - it's "VI", and pronounced as two syllables.

    "Vee Eye"? It's "vi" which is short for "visual" so it should rhyme with the first part of "Linux"! (Where the "i" is somewhere between a "ee" sound and a short "i" sound)

  • Mario Butter (unregistered)

    I'm pretty sure I interviewed at that first company recently...

  • AnonJr (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    I don't see anything wrong with the hypothetical question. The point is to see if you can come up with novel solutions if they regular solutions fail and to see if you'll get flustered when you keep hitting road blocks. The key for the interviewee is to exit this game gracefully without looking like a dick. I had a similar experience interviewing with at my current job where the interviewer was asking what to do if a user doesn't like an application. We stopped after getting to the point where the user just doesn't want to use a computer at all.

    Don't they call this "Cognitive Dissonance"?

  • asdf (unregistered)

    The answer could have been to Remote Desktop in. Perhaps he was trying to determine if you had the knowledge of the existence of such software, perhaps he just figured it out.

  • (cs)

    TRWTF is the lack of common courtesy shown by the job interviewer. If someone comes in good faith to go through the interview process, then it's really dick to so overtly be an ass.

    Plus, you never know, at some point you might have to crawl back to the person you interviewed even if they weren't the ideal candidate, like what happened here.

  • wcw (unregistered) in reply to Zemm

    Pronunciation is what it is, you hack.

    Linux is pronounced the way it is because of the acculturated courtesy of the hackers around the thing (in the real world, in English, Linus is pronounced with a long 'I', and so would be Linux). Bit it ain't, ans that's just how it is. Vi is pronounced 'Vee Aye' and has been since I was a teenager in the 1980s breaking into local computer systems for fun (in the Bay Area, even in the '80s, that was a nice target base). Bill Joy wrote vi at Cal in the '70s, so I am pretty close to this, though I didn't matriculate until the late '80s, and majored in pure math, thanks.

    As for the bigot who thinks vi is useless, the last 'code' I wrote (an R script; some of use have real work to do), I used vi. It works fine, and to this day it's installed everywhere. So is ed, of course, but ed is really only good for the ed rant.

  • Maria (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    Hypothetical scenarios have been outlawed. Now what do you do?

    That would shut him up.

  • Simon (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    lol. Funny you mention that, for the second story I posted to WTF (with that story) that was the answer.

    Those saying this wasn't a BS question. Sorry but it was. The post is a bit shorter then the actual interview went on.

    The options of canceling customers contract (not allowed as I wasn't important enough), walking to customer (Not allowed it was too far) and also even going back and saying I would drive there the day before and sleep there (also not allowed).

    It was clear the interviewer was looking for one answer which they had already picked out, or was trying to see how long they would play their game.

  • Simon (unregistered) in reply to Schnapple
    Sure, the interviewer was a dickhead but he might have also been right.

    It was a stupid interview. I've done loads of interviews and never had a situation like that before. Not sure I would of used the term clueless dickhead, just expecting a reality I couldn't give him.

    And yes I have messed up interviews horribly before if it makes you feel any better. :)

    • Asked "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time" (in relation to company) I answered "Not sure, maybe have a car, house, settle down, not sure I am ready for children at that point.

    • Sat through a 2 hour interview with HR + people working with on SOA applications which was going great. Could answer all the technical questions. Only in the last 2 minutes do they point out it is .NET which I don't know (Java person). Appears the Job agency threw stuff onto my CV at that time.

    • Giving an interviewer an ancient CV I never bothered to update correctly. When noted that I liked go-kart racing (I did at the time) I mentioned the place where I used to go. Not realizing the company had closed down years ago. Then arguing with the interviewer when he pointed it out. :)

    • Asked what the definition of a Team was I replied "If one dies, we all die together" (I had been watching Titanic the night before and my mind had gone blank :).

  • Simon (unregistered) in reply to katastrofa

    Because I am an eagle about to eat it?

  • Joel Button (unregistered)

    Next time one of you guys get one of those hypothetical question strings, just get out your D&D materials. Also, bring a camera- I want to see the look on the guy's face.

  • (cs) in reply to wcw
    wcw:
    Linux is pronounced the way it is because of the acculturated courtesy of the hackers around the thing (in the real world, in English, Linus is pronounced with a long 'I', and so would be Linux).
    And you would be so very nearly right if Linus Torvalds was English or American, but in the real world he's Finnish. Finland is (last time I checked) still part of the real world (which does stretch beyond the border of America, you know), and as the term 'Linux' was coined by the Finnish, I think they probably get last word on how it is pronounced. Just because you shout the loudest doesn't make you right, you know...
  • (cs)

    The application manager on the Nokia 770, N800, and N810 has a special mode called "Red pill mode" which allows you to browse all categories, not just the "standard" ones.

    If you create a new catalog (their name for a repository) with the url "matrix", then hit cancel, it pops up the following dialog:

    [image] [image]

    (yes, the images are big. The N800 has a crazy high resolution for such a small tablet.)

  • Magnus Persson (unregistered) in reply to JimM
    Finland is (last time I checked) still part of the real world (which does stretch beyond the border of America, you know), and as the term 'Linux' was coined by the Finnish, I think they probably get last word on how it is pronounced.

    Actually, you're not fully right either. Linux, pronounced in Finnish, would use an i similar to the one in "bin". However, Linus belongs to the Swedish-speaking minority of the Finnish people, and in Swedish, Linux has an i pronounced as "ee" in "feel".

  • OBloodyhell (unregistered) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    That's easy, the interviewers are Emacs weenies. No self respecting user of the one true editor calls it "Vi" - it's "VI", and pronounced as two syllables.

    "One True Editor"?

    You mean TECO?

    Real programmers like challenges, and what greater challenge is there than to type your name into your text editor and figure out what it does?

    If a command sequence isn't sufficiently terse as to be indistinguishable from line noise, you're wasting valuable coding time typing weenie-preserving froofroos...

    :oP

  • Peter H. Coffin (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    I've had to deal with those interviewers that keep asking you what to do when everything you try/suggest will fail. I usually take it 4 or 5 levels and then just reply: if this company/customer is that screwed up, then I'm/you're better off just drawing the line and saying "no".

    I've gone down that route too. It's been formalized to "Do I have authority to fire this customer?" and if not "Customer on hold, call my boss, warm-transfer the call. Boss will tell me how to handle it."

  • Jeff (unregistered)

    It probably would have helped if you had done more requirements gathering. The intervier might have been looking for something like "I would have performed technical activities X, Y, and Z", and it doesn't help if you answer "Well, I would fix it!" Of course, a customer will never say, I think you need to ssh in and kill the running process, then download the newest software from a yum server. They are more likely to say "It's broken. I need you to fix it."

    http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/adventures-of-isabel/

    Also sales literature can be interesting on this point. E.g.

    http://futrell-www.tamu.edu/ABC_Outlines_Chapter_11.html

    G. Use direct denial tactfully.

    1.  Incomplete or incorrect objections should be acknowledged from the prospect’s viewpoint, and then answered with complete and correct facts.

    2.  Tact is critical.

    3.  Do not say, “You’re wrong.”  It closes the prospect’s mind. Instead try, “You know, you’re right to be concerned about this. Let me explain.”
  • chenry (unregistered) in reply to Tom_fan_63
    Tom_fan_63:
    spinn:
    The solution was to take the blue pill and exit the Matrix, I suppose.
    The blue pill is sold out, now what do you do?

    probably do my best impression of Michael Douglas in "Falling Down".

  • Eaton (unregistered)

    I thank my lucky stars I didn't get hired at such a place.

  • Kyle (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    Hypothetical scenarios have been outlawed. Now what do you do?

    Celebrate. You bring the meat and veggies, I'll supply the grill and liquor.

  • kyle (unregistered) in reply to Tom_fan_63

    The RED pill takes you out of the Matrix.

  • Jon (unregistered)

    You weren't tempted to ask what the problem with the server was?

  • noone (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    I think you are right - but I still think skype or a remote connection would be better answers. Maybe they weren't invented at the time

  • Larry Ellis (unregistered)

    The correct resolution to the hypothetical scenario is to engage the customer's attention while en route, no matter the delay. Start by asking what he's wearing and take it from there. A good employee will do whatever it takes to keep that customer... satisfied.

  • nitsedy (unregistered) in reply to Tom_fan_63

    "Take the red pill and see how far the rabbit hole goes!"

    "It doesn't go anywhere."

    "Ah, well, then the problem is solved. What's your next question?"

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