• (cs)
    “I suppose I’d call my manager and let me know about the situation.”

    The interviewer snapped back, “nope, you can’t ring your manager. He’s not reachable!”

    “I don’t know, I’d ask the customer to ring the office to discuss the contract issue?”

    “Ah ha, but he refuses!”

    The correct answer was:

    "I put on my robe and wizard hat."

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Binks
    Binks:
    Anon:
    I don't see anything wrong with the hypothetical question. The point is to see if you can come up with novel solutions

    Alright, but your novel solution fails because of novel problem. What do you do now?

    Man...I've had DM's like that...no matter what you do, it will fail unless you follow the perfect path ordained by the DM. Looks like in this case there was no perfect path though...

    You're missing the point. It's not about finding a solution, there is no solution and there is no perfect path. It's about dealing with unforeseen problems and repeated frustrating roadblocks. If you can deal with it graciously, then I don't want you in front of a customer.

  • Robert (unregistered) in reply to notme

    That's absolutely true, but the fact is that isn't a decision the support engineer should be making. If the engineer is keeping his boss informed, let the boss decide to sever the relationship. Often times the support engineer isn't aware of all the circumstances and only gets to see a slice in time.

  • (cs) in reply to kingjoebob
    kingjoebob:
    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...

    Butterflies.

  • (cs) in reply to morry
    morry:
    #1) ask for 3rd party arbitration. Choose the Grizellas

    Well played.

  • Robert (unregistered) in reply to Robert
    Me That's absolutely true, but the fact is that isn't a decision the support engineer should be making. If the engineer is keeping his boss informed, let the boss decide to sever the relationship. Often times the support engineer isn't aware of all the circumstances and only gets to see a slice in time.

    Crap - that was in reference to:

    notme Maybe that was more or less what they wanted to hear. You know, most businesses have more than one customer, and while keeping the customers satisfied, it's also important to economize and prioritize your own time and resources. Spending all of them on one customer particularly obnoxious is not a good idea.

    In most service oriented businesses, you are bound to get a few customers who take themselves a lot more important than they are. If you let them get away with playing silly little games with you and your company's resources, you (and your company) are going to regret that much more than if they'd just cancelled their contract.

  • Schnapple (unregistered)

    I guess I'm the only one who thought the second story was much more interesting.

    Anyway, I find it interesting how the story is presented that the person doing the interviewing is a clueless dickhead when it could be the case that the person being interviewed really didn't know anything and that's why the interview went so horribly. Sure, the interviewer was a dickhead but he might have also been right.

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    Heh...I interviewed at Microsoft once and the guy gave me the same scenario except I was supposed to be at a meeting with Bill Gates that I COULD-NOT-EVER-NEVER-DONT-EVEN-CONSIDER-BEING-LATE.

    The problem with these questions is the context of what the interviewer thinks is a novel answer doesn't always work with the context of the interviewee. In my case, the guy interviewing me was from Fargo, ND and I lived in Los Angeles.

    I stumbled a bit and then told him what he wanted to hear: "I would park my car and flag down a passing motorcycle and ask for a ride through the traffic."

    In retrospect, I should have answered: "Well, where I'm from the only reason you see someone wandering around in traffic on a freeway is A) they are on drugs B) they are mental, or C) they are looking for someone to carjack. So, being that you're from Fargo where probably none of the above happens with any regularity, you'll die at the hands of a maniac trying to impress Bill. For myself, on the other hand, I'm going to call up Bill and tell him to chill until I get there."

    I think I'll have to move into consulting if I ever find myself between jobs. I'm not going to have the patience to deal with stupid interviewer tricks.

  • matt (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    Vlad Patryshev:
    I think I know the answer. From the very first minute you should have told the user that our engineers are already working on the problem. And maintain the user's belief that something is really happening while you are actually in a jam. Getting to the customer's site is a part of your work duty, is not it? So you are working right now.

    Good answer. Reminds me of my days working at pizza hut, where we told that if anyone asks when their pizza will be ready, the answer is always "20 minutes"

    I'm still fucking waiting for mine.

    And don't forget the anchovies!

    20 minutes

  • JohnLocke (unregistered) in reply to notme
    notme:
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    That's what I would have said. "Sir, you're clearly unreasonable and unwilling to compromise. I'm afraid we can no longer do business together. All the best of luck. *CLICK*".

    Maybe that was more or less what they wanted to hear. You know, most businesses have more than one customer, and while keeping the customers satisfied, it's also important to economize and prioritize your own time and resources. Spending all of them on one customer particularly obnoxious is not a good idea.

    In most service oriented businesses, you are bound to get a few customers who take themselves a lot more important than they are. If you let them get away with playing silly little games with you and your company's resources, you (and your company) are going to regret that much more than if they'd just cancelled their contract.

  • (cs) in reply to Random832
    Random832:
    Markp:
    5) You don't think you should have to justify your use of tools, even when it can affect your efficiency (try using Notepad at the speed experienced users use Emacs or VI)
    It's not meant to imply he seriously uses notepad, but rather that he shouldn't have to justify (e.g.) his use of vim to a bunch of emacs fanatics.

    Ding! Anybody who thinks I will work faster in their text editor is an idiot and has unrealistic expectations of the way their developers spend time. It's not like you're ever going to be down to the wire needing to get this code written so Jack Bauer can geolocate the terrorist's IP before the bomb goes off and Kim is eaten by a mountain lion.

    And if we were in that scenario, I'd rather wait for you to drag your mouse to the "save" button than for you to pull out your vi commands cheat sheet to remember that :w means save.

  • JohnLocke (unregistered) in reply to notme
    notme:
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    That's what I would have said. "Sir, you're clearly unreasonable and unwilling to compromise. I'm afraid we can no longer do business together. All the best of luck. *CLICK*".

    Maybe that was more or less what they wanted to hear. You know, most businesses have more than one customer, and while keeping the customers satisfied, it's also important to economize and prioritize your own time and resources. Spending all of them on one customer particularly obnoxious is not a good idea.

    In most service oriented businesses, you are bound to get a few customers who take themselves a lot more important than they are. If you let them get away with playing silly little games with you and your company's resources, you (and your company) are going to regret that much more than if they'd just cancelled their contract.

    I've seen a customer tell a woman : "I know none of this is your fault but... You are a fucking bitch!". That customer had a U$ 40 support contract for a tiny software the company maintaned. Her boss already cancelled contracts with one or two unreasonable customers, and he specifically told them something like: "We'd rather not have you as a customer if you can't even respect our employees. So, we're cancelling your contract. Goodbye".

  • Jason (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    The hypothetical question was clearly a stress test, which ended when you supplied a smart-ass reply after only a few rounds.

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    Heh...I interviewed at Microsoft once and the guy gave me the same scenario except I was supposed to be at a meeting with Bill Gates that I COULD-NOT-EVER-NEVER-DONT-EVEN-CONSIDER-BEING-LATE.

    The problem with these questions is the context of what the interviewer thinks is a novel answer doesn't always work with the context of the interviewee. In my case, the guy interviewing me was from Fargo, ND and I lived in Los Angeles.

    I stumbled a bit and then told him what he wanted to hear: "I would park my car and flag down a passing motorcycle and ask for a ride through the traffic."

    Only at Microsoft does "I'd blatantly break the law and risk the safety of others to achieve my own goals" get you the job. Well, maybe the government too.

  • Paul W. Homer (unregistered)

    The Hypothetical Answer is that you need to regain "control" of the situation. The trick, if you can call it that, is to pound the ball back to the other side of the court, making it the customer's problem; it's just a demented form of tennis, after all.

    "Ok, sir. We can arrange an immediate on-site visit for you, after you've completed form 23A, in triplicate and emailed it to your designated rep as stated by your contract" you should have replied. That usually ends it, right there.

    "Oh, and by the way, since the hourly support fee is $750 per hour, we'll need a pre-approved PO for the minimum visit of four hours as stated by the contract. You know, all the normal purchasing stuff" you could add if they aren't smart enough to have withdrawn already.

    Paul.

  • (cs)

    On the pronounciation front I've have excellent luck with:

    "Hello Mr. Kekalorikan; Did I get that right?"

    That usually handles it fine. With this guy however...

  • http (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    Please, please, if that line is yours, may I use that in my .sig file?

    Captcha: facilisis. Is that even a word?

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    I don't see anything wrong with the hypothetical question. The point is to see if you can come up with novel solutions if they regular solutions fail and to see if you'll get flustered when you keep hitting road blocks. The key for the interviewee is to exit this game gracefully without looking like a dick. I had a similar experience interviewing with at my current job where the interviewer was asking what to do if a user doesn't like an application. We stopped after getting to the point where the user just doesn't want to use a computer at all.

    For the second story, if you can't pronounce the interviewers name, then just don't even try. Let them introduce themselves first. I also had the same experience with the my current position, but my boss wasn't a dick about it. He knew most people couldn't pronounce his name at first.

    I remember a Dilbert comic where they asked for Dilbert to solve an hypothetical problem during a job interview. When he was done the interviewer said something like "thanks for your time, and we'll call if we have more problems our own staff can't solve."

  • Crabs (unregistered)

    I feel bad for all you interviewees. I got my job at my current company (which is a Fortune 100 gov't contractor) by answering "What is a cartesian product?" correctly. My boss said I'd be suprised how many college CS grads don't know the answer.

    Makes me sad, it does.

  • BC (unregistered)

    ...but what if the bus you were riding on would explode if it dropped below 50 MPH? What would you do? What WOULD YOU DO?!?

  • CoyneT (unregistered)

    "Sir, my inability to serve you has dishonored me, leaving me nothing but to commit Seppuku to restore it. Arrrgggghhh..."

  • Peter (unregistered) in reply to BC
    BC:
    ...but what if the bus you were riding on would explode if it dropped below 50 MPH? What would you do? What WOULD YOU DO?!?

    I'd jump over a huge gap that is perfectly level in real life, but adjust camera angles so it looked like it was possible. I'd then ride under the bus so I could disarm the bomb while having someone else drive around an airport on shredded tires. Isn't that obvious?

    (I was dragged in to see this movie by some friends and I just couldn't buy the whole plot in the first place and the total physics issues left me with a gaping jaw. I think it approaches Waterworld for sheer bad movie IMO.)

  • Herby (unregistered) in reply to kingjoebob

    [quote user="kingjoebob"]

    [/quote]

    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...[/quote]

    The proper answer to this is: "YES".

  • Ken B (unregistered) in reply to Ben Curthoys
    Ben Curthoys:
    Or just destroy the Kobayashi Maru myself, on the grounds that it's obviously a trap.
    Darn! Beat me to it.
  • Adriano (unregistered) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    And if we were in that scenario, I'd rather wait for you to drag your mouse to the "save" button than for you to pull out your vi commands cheat sheet to remember that :w means save.

    Bad example. If you really need a cheatsheet to know the save command, you shouldn't be using that editor. Besides, the same could then be said about Emacs and its C-x C-s (did I get it right?)

  • LintMan (unregistered)

    For the hypothetical-case interviewer, it wasn't that the answered being given were "wrong" - he was almost certainly looking for a specific type of response and was trying to force the interviewee towards it by gradually removing all other options until no other types of response are left. My guess is that he wanted to force the interviewee to draw a line and personally tell the customer "Sorry, that's the best we can do" or somesuch, while also making sure the interviewee was diplomatic enough not to get pissed and say he'd tell the customer good riddance or to go screw, etc. Giving a smart-ass answer is a definite Fail.

    As for the dump-location job interviewer, I'd probably have walked out at some point. Someone so eager to "take points off" for mispronouncing his name is bound to be a jerk to work for. Combine that with the stinky environment and it adds up to "Why am I wasting my time here? Goodbye." very quickly.

  • Franz Kafka (unregistered) in reply to Crabs
    Crabs:
    I feel bad for all you interviewees. I got my job at my current company (which is a Fortune 100 gov't contractor) by answering "What is a cartesian product?" correctly. My boss said I'd be suprised how many college CS grads don't know the answer.

    Makes me sad, it does.

    So what was your answer? Mine would be 'usually a really bad idea'.

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    You're missing the point. It's not about finding a solution, there is no solution and there is no perfect path. It's about dealing with unforeseen problems and repeated frustrating roadblocks. If you can deal with it graciously, then I don't want you in front of a customer.
    "Hi there, I'm Mr Anon. But you can call me El Trollo, if you feel like it.

    My hobbies include:

    (1) Doing six impossible things before breakfast (2) Inviting innocent weenies to an interview, and then telling them that my customer demands that they attach electrodes to their genitals, right now, and (3) Having sex with cute little kitty cats, right through their cute little belly-buttons.

    I have no idea why I've been locked away in this maximum security ward for the criminally insane for the last twenty years.

    But I can make your customers happy!.

    With the help of my kitty-cat friend here.

  • (cs) in reply to matt
    matt:
    real_aardvark:
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    Vlad Patryshev:
    I think I know the answer. From the very first minute you should have told the user that our engineers are already working on the problem. And maintain the user's belief that something is really happening while you are actually in a jam. Getting to the customer's site is a part of your work duty, is not it? So you are working right now.

    Good answer. Reminds me of my days working at pizza hut, where we told that if anyone asks when their pizza will be ready, the answer is always "20 minutes"

    I'm still fucking waiting for mine.

    And don't forget the anchovies!

    20 minutes

    I didn't ask you, you moron. I asked ChiefCrazyTalk.

    Christ, I've been waiting since that idiot was half-way through his PhD in nuclear physics. You'd have thought he'd have got it right by now. It's like being on the end of the phone to a call centre in Bangalore, except that you've got some dick-head under-educated American on the other end of the phone rather than a luscious, out-sourced maiden from Bangalore cooing "Press five for delivery in twenty minutes. Press the hash key after that if you want anchovies."

    I want anchovies.

    Hash.

  • (cs) in reply to Crabs
    Crabs:
    I feel bad for all you interviewees. I got my job at my current company (which is a Fortune 100 gov't contractor) by answering "What is a cartesian product?" correctly. My boss said I'd be suprised how many college CS grads don't know the answer.

    Makes me sad, it does.

    (a) How often have you ever used a cartesian product? (b) How difficult do you think this would be for even the feeblest SQL idiot to look up on the Web and (c) This sorta defines the hiring strategy for "Fortune 100 gov't contractors," doesn't it?

    Feebs. Oops, sorry, didn't mean to insult the CIA or any other government agency involved in this lo-tech pork-barrel technological catastrophe.

  • katastrofa (unregistered) in reply to John
    John:
    Spectre:
    Alan:
    He acts really insulted and hangs up. Now what do you do?

    I sigh with relief.

    You suddenly find you cannot breathe, now what do you do?

    "You're in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you're not helping -- why is that?"

  • (cs) in reply to Adriano
    Adriano:
    vt_mruhlin:
    And if we were in that scenario, I'd rather wait for you to drag your mouse to the "save" button than for you to pull out your vi commands cheat sheet to remember that :w means save.

    Bad example. If you really need a cheatsheet to know the save command, you shouldn't be using that editor. Besides, the same could then be said about Emacs and its C-x C-s (did I get it right?)

    Which is exactly the point I was making. Use the editor that you're most familiar with, not the one that your lead developer is the most familiar with.

  • (cs) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:

    I countered "Firefox, Safari, or Opera?" with "Lynx" and got the job.

    I'd be vaguely frightened if they considered that a plus.

  • (cs) in reply to Greg
    Greg:
    A better answer would probably be to apologize to the customer that you weren't able to meet their needs, offer to continue to do all you can to rectify the situation and give them your superior's contact information (or their superior) to escalate the issue.
    “I suppose I’d call my manager and let me know about the situation.”

    The interviewer snapped back, “nope, you can’t ring your manager. He’s not reachable!”

    So much for that. IT'S A B.S. INTERVIEW.
  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    You're missing the point. It's not about finding a solution, there is no solution and there is no perfect path. It's about dealing with unforeseen problems and repeated frustrating roadblocks. If you can deal with it graciously, then I don't want you in front of a customer.

    It's amazing how one missed 't can change the whole meaning of a sentence. Hilarity ensues.

  • TInkerghost (unregistered) in reply to jtl
    jtl:
    The city is bring evacuated due to an impending nuclear strike! WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?!

    'Flee?'

    The customer is angry with you.

    Not for long.

  • Tempus (unregistered) in reply to Tom_fan_63

    Shoot the hostage. Oops right actor, wrong movie.

  • (cs) in reply to katastrofa
    katastrofa:
    "You're in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you're not helping -- why is that?"
    A tortoise? What's that?
  • AwesomeAtInterviews (unregistered)

    Reading stories like the first one makes me realize how good I am at interviews. It's a simple stress test. The answer is that you would stay calm. When so many things are going against you, at one point you realize it's out of your control, and that all you can do is try your best to resolve the issue in a calm manner. Maybe use the opportunity to sell an extra unit to the customer for redundancy so the next failure isn't such a big deal. I would have aced that one.

    The second one is crazy, and the interviewer did the right thing by rejecting the offer.

  • iToad (unregistered) in reply to kingjoebob
    kingjoebob:
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    That wasn't such a bad interview question. Worst I've heard is "What is a stringbuilders favorite food - pizza or spaghetti"?

    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...

    The key to answering this question is based on the fact that there are two or more interviewers asking this particular question. Your best answer is "Which one is better?". The interviewers will immediately get into a huge and entertaining battle among themselves, instead of bothering you with any more questions.

  • Greg (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    Ok, I'll try to explain my point again. I don't normally ask stress questions like this when I interview people, but, if I was hiring for a job where the candidate had to deal with unreasonable dicks, then I would probably consider acting like an unreasonable dick to see how the candidate would react. If the guy can't deal with an unreasonable dick in a professional manner, then he's not suitable for the job. Some companies just have to deal with unreasonable dicks! That kind of job's probably not for most of the people here, but it's still gotta be done. Ask any tech support guy.

    When you're interviewing for a job, give the interviewer some credit. They might know something you don't. Save the judgment for afterwards when you've got the job offer in hand. That's the best time to tell him he's an unreasonable dick! :)

  • J (unregistered)

    This comment... is incredible.

  • (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Interesting. I've never seen that one in a support contract before. Usually, contracts specify what you (the entity providing the support) must do.

    Have you had success putting that into support contracts before, and if so, did the customers object or try to haggle? Usually, they just want you to take care of everything for them and hold their hand.

    Standard Microsoft Premier Support contract actually includes that. States that Microsoft is expected to have a tech on-site within {ungodly short time} and you are required to have your technical team standing by to assist at the time.

  • Keith Twombley (unregistered)

    When I went to college I had a part-time job managing at a few different McDonald's restaurants in somewhat...downtrodden...parts of town.

    I've had toothless hillbillies scream at me over the per person limit on discount cheeseburgers. I've had a full supersized shake thrown at my head because it was the wrong flavor. I've had toothless methed-out women scream at me over "missing" beanie babies. I've had guys try to jump across the counter because he couldn't get a refund AND his food. They've taken swings at me because their big mac had pickles on it. I've been screamed at by just about every sort of the dregs of society over what amounts to $2 or $3.

    There is absolutely nothing in the IT world that could possibly phase me now.

    People asking these questions have no idea just how nasty people can be to their fellow man.

  • katastrofa (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    katastrofa:
    "You're in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you're not helping -- why is that?"
    A tortoise? What's that?

    Know what a turtle is?

  • Tourist (unregistered) in reply to Ojno
    Ojno:
    jtl:
    The city is bring evacuated due to an impending nuclear strike! WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?!

    'Flee?'

    The customer is angry with you.

    The customer is angry with you!

    Suddenly, a hypothetical question strikes you!

    It seems not to affect you.

    The customer is not deterred...

    A wide-angle disintegration beam hits you!

    You fry to a crisp.

    You die...

    Goodbye Simon the Software Developer... You died in The Interview of Doom on question level 1 with 0 points, and 0 pieces of gold, after 9 moves.

    Ah this bring back memories!

  • The real wtf fool (unregistered) in reply to ChiefCrazyTalk
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    Actually its a (lame) test of mental ability - they note your answer and ask the same question again half an hour later but reverse the two options ("spaghetti or pizza" instead of "pizza or spaghetti"). If you give the same answer both times you pass. Supposedly, 80% of candidates fail this test. Personally, as long as they don't answer "Whats a stringbuilder" I don't mind.

    What if they answered "Why are you asking me about java/c# classes when you're interviewing for a C++ role?"

  • /dev/null (unregistered) in reply to Tom_fan_63
    Tom_fan_63:
    spinn:
    The solution was to take the blue pill and exit the Matrix, I suppose.
    The blue pill is sold out, now what do you do?

    Get hold of pfizer :-P

  • EbbeK (unregistered) in reply to Markp
    Markp:
    try compiling code that you wrote in Word...
    Back in the day (about 20 years ago) I did just that. MS-Word 2 for DOS was actually a quite decent text editor.
  • (cs)
    Article:
    the customer says that’s not good enough. He’s threatening to cancel the contract. Now what?” “I suppose I’d call my manager and let me know about the situation.” The interviewer snapped back, “nope, you can’t ring your manager. He’s not reachable!” “I don’t know, I’d ask the customer to ring the office to discuss the contract issue?” “Ah ha, but he refuses!”
    "I inform the customer that if he is unwilling to discuss contract issues with staff who can assist him then there is nothing further I can do; I will be at his office as soon as the traffic clears; I will attend to his technical problems as per contract; and I will spend the intervening time while I'm stuck in the traffic jam writing a full report about the interaction I've had with the client for my manager's consideration. I would then end the call."

    Believe me, I understand the point of these questions in an interview, but there's such a thing as pushing the game too hard, and "Ah ha, He refuses to call the office and discuss the contract" is that one step too far. The customer knows that he is talking to a technician who is stuck in a traffic jam, he's threatening to cancel his contract but he won't talk to the people who deal with his contract? Please...

    "Emacs or VI?"
    So many options: the straight ("I'm most familiar with [Emacs|VI|Gedit|Nano|Pico|a.n.othereditor]"); the smart-ass: ("No thanks, I ate before I got here."); the confident ("I'm pretty flexible, so if there's a preferred editor / environment I'll happily use that."); or TDWTF: ("Actually, I write all my code on lined paper, place it on a wooden table, take photographs with a digital camera, print the photographs out, then run OCR on the printouts and compile the resultant text files. It works pretty well, but bug fixes can be a bit arduous...").
    TooMany:
    huhuh - Kobayashi Maru - huhuh
    Yes yes, we're all sad mindless geeks who compare everything we hear / read to Star Trek... thanks for reinforcing the stereotype...
    Various:
    Simon the Sorceror - cool!
    Look

    You are in a traffic jam. There is a mobile phone in your hand

    Examine Phone

    There is an angry customer on other end of the phone

    Wait

    Time passes... the customer is still angry

    Wait

    Time passes... the customer is still angry

    Wait

    Time passes... the customer starts singing about gold

    thank you very much ;^)

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