• logical.. (unregistered)

    a WTF like this would never have happened using Waterfall and SOA on an embedded filesystem environment. It simply couldn't.

    TRWTF is people who use technology for the sake of technology rather than requirements.

  • Ed (unregistered)

    1. Walk to coathanger.

    2. Pick up coat.

    3. Open door.

    4. Walk out of door.

    That is some pretty messed up software: if it's in that much of a state to start with there's not much point staying, it'll only get worse as more "features" are added.

  • Jellineck (unregistered)

    Smells like a VB "programmer" that decided to start doing .NET.

  • (cs)

    iTunes is the archetypal example of tightly coupled software. You can't use one feature of it without having to pull in the entire thing.

    And Excel is not a database.

  • The Nerve (unregistered)

    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering? It's on the same technological level as Notepad?

  • Jakob H. Poulsen (unregistered)

    After reading this, I actually thought to myself: "I would love to refactor that!"

    Excuse me while I go throw up.

  • Astartee (unregistered)

    Sorry to disappoint you, Remy, but I have never even heard of a Joan Cusak.

    Signed : One of the (hopefully more than two) female TDWTF readers.

  • Borken (unregistered) in reply to The Nerve
    The Nerve:
    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering? It's on the same technological level as Notepad?
    Yeah, with Windows, you don't have to write a virus. You don't have to corrupt a driver. All you have to do is trick someone into opening a large file in Notepad, and your entire operating system grinds to a halt.
  • TheRabbi (unregistered)

    Usually, nuking code from orbit and starting from scratch is not the right answer.

    This is not one of those times.

    CAPTCHA: populus - what this kind of code is, unfortunately.

  • m (unregistered)

    staying on that project might gain you big bonuses

  • Ryan (unregistered) in reply to logical..

    Waterfall has nothing to do with it. It's more like...if it was developed by a programmer who was worth his salt. This is simply a lack of first year college training...

  • BDM (unregistered)

    Probably one of the most vicious WTFs ever listed. Developers that create such a mess should be put behind bars.

  • SSDS (unregistered)

    "and then started trying to get a grip on how to pry this pile of spaghetti apart and turn it into supportable code."

    Add a noodle and jam it?

  • (cs) in reply to The Nerve
    The Nerve:
    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering?
    No, I'm telling you that it has to parse the whole file to build the Intellisense database.
  • Cpl Hicks (unregistered) in reply to TheRabbi

    We take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

  • (cs)

    Actually I would quite enjoy refactoring this code.

  • (cs)

    I really hate those management/HR types who use words like "rockstar" instead of "arrogant self-serving vodka-swilling loner who can't code his way out of a paper bag."

  • (cs)

    No doubt next the developer looks around for specs or documentation written but doesn't find any.

    "Oh we're too busy here for specs and documentation... We run to tight schedules, and in the real world you don't have time to do things properly. Just look at the code and see what it does".

  • Spivonious (unregistered) in reply to GettinSadda
    GettinSadda:
    Actually I would quite enjoy refactoring this code.

    Me too. I love refactoring. It's amazing how bad old code can get.

  • (cs)

    If that's the way these new 'rockstar' developers write their code, then I'm rootin' for nuclear war and a chance for the cockroaches to strut their stuff...

  • (cs) in reply to Spivonious
    Spivonious:
    GettinSadda:
    Actually I would quite enjoy refactoring this code.

    Me too. I love refactoring. It's amazing how bad old code can get.

    :blink:

  • Dan (unregistered)

    The Real WTF is that a comment accurately told the developer what to do to correct the problem. Sure the code is crappy from an aesthetic sense, but it gets the job done, and Dan is on to a new project. BTW I am not the Dan from the story.

  • quis (unregistered) in reply to logical..
    logical..:
    a WTF like this would never have happened using Waterfall and SOA on an embedded filesystem environment. It simply couldn't.
    Especially if they used XML to make it more "enterprisey", and finished by putting it on a wooden table next to Irish Girl.
  • yeehaw (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    I really hate those management/HR types who use words like "rockstar" instead of "arrogant self-serving vodka-swilling loner who can't code his way out of a paper bag."
    Yeah but the real treat is that they apparently went from a "rock-star" to a "cowboy coder".

    Instead of shoving the quick one-line fix to production right away, this should've been approached with an actual planned project to redesign and refactor it. Yeah maybe still do the quick-fix to shut up the complaining users, but the long-term goal should have been a better, more permanent solution.

  • RHINO (unregistered)

    CRAP!

    The "Rock Star" sits in the cubicle right next to me. I just finished "working" on two of his 25,000+ line C functions.

  • yeehaw (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    I really hate those management/HR types who use words like "rockstar" instead of "arrogant self-serving vodka-swilling loner who can't code his way out of a paper bag."
    Yeah but the real treat is that they apparently went from a "rock-star" to a "cowboy coder".

    Instead of shoving the quick one-line fix to production right away, this should've been approached with an actual planned project to redesign and refactor it. Yeah maybe still do the quick-fix to shut up the complaining users, but the long-term goal should have been a better, more permanent solution.

  • Edward von Emacs, VI (unregistered)
    //Server.ScriptTimeout = 3600; //Server.ScriptTimeout = 10800; Server.ScriptTimeout = 21600; //six hours should probably be enough. If it keeps crashing, raise this.

    Should be:

    //Server.ScriptTimeout = 3600; //Server.ScriptTimeout = 10800; Server.ScriptTimeout = 21600; //six hours should probably be enough. If it keeps crashing, raze this.
  • causa (unregistered) in reply to Edward von Emacs, VI
    Edward von Emacs:
    //Server.ScriptTimeout = 3600; //Server.ScriptTimeout = 10800; Server.ScriptTimeout = 21600; //six hours should probably be enough. If it keeps crashing, raise this.

    Should be:

    //Server.ScriptTimeout = 3600; //Server.ScriptTimeout = 10800; Server.ScriptTimeout = 21600; //six hours should probably be enough. If it keeps crashing, rase this.
    FTFY, for the benefit of our readers in Jolly Old England

    CAPTCHA 'causa' - I fixed it causa the limeys always complaining about "American" spelling

  • wtf (unregistered) in reply to yeehaw
    yeehaw:
    JamesQMurphy:
    I really hate those management/HR types who use words like "rockstar" instead of "arrogant self-serving vodka-swilling loner who can't code his way out of a paper bag."
    Yeah but the real treat is that they apparently went from a "rock-star" to a "cowboy coder".

    Instead of shoving the quick one-line fix to production right away, this should've been approached with an actual planned project to redesign and refactor it. Yeah maybe still do the quick-fix to shut up the complaining users, but the long-term goal should have been a better, more permanent solution.

    I think the point was that he did the quick fix to see if the problem was with the time-out, and the "fix" was treated as an actual resolution of the issue by the management, who thought that "it runs"=="it's done".

    That's just my guess, though, based on reading all the way to the end.

  • (cs) in reply to Astartee
    Astartee:
    Sorry to disappoint you, Remy, but I have never even heard of a Joan Cusak.

    Signed : One of the (hopefully more than two) female TDWTF readers.

    Remy - John Cusack would be a better choice.

    Signed: Female TDWTF reader #3

  • (cs)

    It's just the way software development has gone: immediate need has the priority over long-term maintainability. Nobody cares about 5 years time because you have to get the market share right now, and who knows whether you will still need the product anyway in 5 years time?

    Probably explains why "agile" is the big buzzword of today in IT development, whereas "OO" was 10 years ago.

  • Herby (unregistered)

    The timeout was raised from 21600 to 43200 in the example. Perhaps raising it it the final limit of 86400 would have been the best solution. If they run it once per day and it crashes with that timeout, then they WILL need to do some "refactoring".

    Time will tell (in more ways than one!).

  • (cs) in reply to causa
    causa:
    Edward von Emacs:
    //Server.ScriptTimeout = 3600; //Server.ScriptTimeout = 10800; Server.ScriptTimeout = 21600; //six hours should probably be enough. If it keeps crashing, raise this.

    Should be:

    //Server.ScriptTimeout = 3600; //Server.ScriptTimeout = 10800; Server.ScriptTimeout = 21600; //six hours should probably be enough. If it keeps crashing, raze this.
    FTFY, for the benefit of our readers in Jolly Old England

    CAPTCHA 'causa' - I fixed it causa the limeys are always complaining about "American" spelling

    FTFY x 2

    This is one of the cases where the 'zed' variant is standard British English. The 'ess' variant is rarely seen, although I believe it is acceptable on either side of the pond.

    However, we limeys in Jolly Old England would take exception to the use of 'zee'.

  • (cs) in reply to Herby
    Herby:
    The timeout was raised from 21600 to 43200 in the example. Perhaps raising it it the final limit of 86400 would have been the best solution. If they run it once per day and it crashes with that timeout, then they WILL need to do some "refactoring".

    Time will tell (in more ways than one!).

    Make that 82,800 to take care of the one day in the year that we lose an hour shifting to daylight savings time.

    I think the developer thought that he'd have the whole thing "fixed" by the time they needed to raise it above 12 hours but subsequently was about to be taken off the job to work on something "proper".

  • Swedish tard (unregistered) in reply to Borken
    Borken:
    The Nerve:
    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering? It's on the same technological level as Notepad?
    Yeah, with Windows, you don't have to write a virus. You don't have to corrupt a driver. All you have to do is trick someone into opening a large file in Notepad, and your entire operating system grinds to a halt.

    Doesnt notepad actually refuse to open large files, redirecting you to whatever else there are in the way of editors/readers on the system?

  • Anonymouse (unregistered)

    Dear Remy, Don't ever change.

    Your friend, Jane Cusack

  • (cs)

    I wish I could say that I haven't seen this kind of bull before. [1]Huge code base with zero documentation or comments but the deadline must be achieved in 4 hrs flat. Check. [2]No tests of any kind be they unit or integration tests. Check. [3] Technical Managers who lack the technical part and can't tell that the code is one massive clusterf#$@!!! Check. [4] Incompetent developers allowed to keep collecting a check even though they are NNPP's. Check.

    Why why are these people allowed to stay gainfully employed??? Worse yet many of these schiesters are probably getting paid more than many of us. Truly sad...

  • (cs) in reply to Swedish tard

    Nope, not really, I once tried to open a 200 Mb txt file and it froze for good 20 minutes and ate up most of my RAM.

  • phleabo (unregistered) in reply to yeehaw
    yeehaw:
    Instead of shoving the quick one-line fix to production right away, this should've been approached with an actual planned project to redesign and refactor it. Yeah maybe still do the quick-fix to shut up the complaining users, but the long-term goal should have been a better, more permanent solution.

    Did you actually read the story all the way through? Particularly these bits:

    Dan wasn't even sure where to start. For the heck of it, he upped the script timeout from 21600 to 43200. He checked that minor change in with the comment, "This should fix timeouts for the foreseeable future," and then started trying to get a grip on how to pry this pile of spaghetti apart and turn it into supportable code.

    and:

    The next day, he was elbow deep in "Export.aspx"'s entrails when Steve interrupted. "Hey, Dan!" Steve beamed. "Great work on fixing that bug. I saw your check-in, gave it a spin, and promoted it to production. Fantastic turn-around time on that. Look, since you're done, we've got a lot of other projects that could use some TLC- can I move you onto one of those?"

    So to summarize:

    1. Dan checked in a quick patch
    2. Dan started to refactor
    3. Steve saw the checkin and promoted it to production
    4. Steve asked Dan to move on to other things.

    The only thing worse than a cowboy coder is a cowboy commenter.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Edward von Emacs, VI
    //Server.ScriptTimeout = 3600; //Server.ScriptTimeout = 10800; Server.ScriptTimeout = int.MaxValue; //Problem fixed forever!
  • microtrash (unregistered)

    It's always nice reading about something worse organized then the PHP applications I have to maintain that consist of a single include.php over 700 KB and over 17K lines and over 1K different functions, all calling each other in the nicest spaghetti style I've ever seen.

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    Hey, there's nothing wrong with Joan Cusack, as long as you like your women a touch on the mental side (and let's be honest, who doesn't?).

  • Harrow (unregistered) in reply to The Nerve
    The Nerve:
    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering? It's on the same technological level as Notepad?
    Once upon a time, they were on the same technological level, but Notepad has advanced significantly since then.

    If Visual Studio and Notepad were still roughly on a par, Visual Studio would sometimes present the message: "This program is too mission-critical for VB to maintain. Would you like to convert it to C# instead?"

    -Harrow.

  • Mr. S. (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    I really hate those management/HR types who use words like "rockstar" instead of "arrogant self-serving vodka-swilling loner who can't code his way out of a paper bag."

    Isn't that the definition of a rockstar?

    CAPTCHA: similis - a lot like syphilis

  • alister (unregistered) in reply to Ed
    Ed:
    1) Walk to coathanger.

    1. Pick up coat.

    2. Open door.

    3. Walk out of door.

    That is some pretty messed up software: if it's in that much of a state to start with there's not much point staying, it'll only get worse as more "features" are added.

    That's way to long

    1 - RUN,as far and as fast as possible.

    Notice in the text the boss want him or other projects, which means more of the same

  • (cs) in reply to MistaZ
    MistaZ:
    Nope, not really, I once tried to open a 200 Mb txt file and it froze for good 20 minutes and ate up most of my RAM.
    I think it was back in the Windows 9x days when notepad was limited to 64KB text files. Their "fix" created a new problem.
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Harrow
    Harrow:
    The Nerve:
    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering? It's on the same technological level as Notepad?
    Once upon a time, they were on the same technological level, but Notepad has advanced significantly since then.

    If Visual Studio and Notepad were still roughly on a par, Visual Studio would sometimes present the message: "This program is too mission-critical for VB to maintain. Would you like to convert it to C# instead?"

    -Harrow.

    Oh, I've seen that. Clippy pops up and starts hurling abuse about how only 14 year olds use VB and if you don't upgrade he's going to cut you. I'll tell you, that paperclip has gotten a serious attitude problem since those fateful days working as the Word mascott.
  • wtf (unregistered) in reply to Mr. S.
    Mr. S.:
    JamesQMurphy:
    I really hate those management/HR types who use words like "rockstar" instead of "arrogant self-serving vodka-swilling loner who can't code his way out of a paper bag."

    Isn't that the definition of a rockstar?

    CAPTCHA: similis - a lot like syphilis

    As in, it's beginning to look a lot like syphilis?

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Swedish tard
    Swedish tard:
    Borken:
    The Nerve:
    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering? It's on the same technological level as Notepad?
    Yeah, with Windows, you don't have to write a virus. You don't have to corrupt a driver. All you have to do is trick someone into opening a large file in Notepad, and your entire operating system grinds to a halt.

    Doesnt notepad actually refuse to open large files, redirecting you to whatever else there are in the way of editors/readers on the system?

    I've opened multi-GB files in Notepad. Don't ask me why, but I have and it works. Like most MS products, you just have to give it time.

  • wtf (unregistered) in reply to Borken
    Borken:
    The Nerve:
    Are you telling me that Visual Studio doesn't do page buffering? It's on the same technological level as Notepad?
    Yeah, with Windows, you don't have to write a virus. You don't have to corrupt a driver. All you have to do is trick someone into opening a large file in Notepad, and your entire operating system grinds to a halt.

    Great trick, that. "Haha! I've got you! Now my entire system has ground to ... waitaminnit ... can we try this again?"

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