• FreeMarketFan (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that the customer didn't want more XML, amirite?

    CAPTCHA: eros. Midway through the call the customer realized the eros of their way

  • vali1005 (unregistered)
    suffered through muzak that sounded like Kenny G’s ode to suicide

    I've always imagined it as porn music...

    CAPTCHA: minim: There's a minim and there's a maxim...

  • (cs) in reply to Bruce W
    Bruce W:
    OK - Bruce here. For your reading pleasure, my original submission. Please let me know if the insanely overdone rewrite was necessary. Alex, I know you needed more authors to help out but you never rewrote my submissions like this. <snip>

    Oh, WOW. I knew the writers here embellished stories, but this is utterly ridiculous. I might stop reading TDWTF - I don't come here to read fiction.

    Cut it back, please, guys. Longer is not better, and you do not make something more of a WTF by wrapping it in a novella.

  • (cs) in reply to Bruce W
    Bruce W:
    OK - Bruce here. For your reading pleasure, my original submission. Please let me know if the insanely overdone rewrite was necessary. Alex, I know you needed more authors to help out but you never rewrote my submissions like this.

    ==================== Original Submission =============== I am currently developing a web service call for updating demographic (address, phone numbers, etc.) for my company's account holders on a vendor's back-end system. The web service I am developing is replacing an existing web service. The requirements I received were, "Replicating the existing web service schema. Receive, store, and forward demographic changes to the vendor." Yeah, sparse and lacking.

    I completed development quickly and the system testing results were looking great. Everything was looking like the service was ready to integrate with the current UI. The last testing meeting before releasing the service to the UI team one of the testers said the service was not validating phone numbers. I bit my tongue and didn't blurt out, "If you wanted validation, you should have listed that in the requirements." Yes, yes, always validate your data. But there was no indication that the current web service I was replacing did any validation. Everything I had seen showed that the UI was validating phone numbers.

    I asked, "How should I validate the phone numbers?"

    "Oh, currently we make sure there are no non-numeric characters and that the phone number is 10 digits." Since we only work with US customers, this sounded logical.

    "So, you return an error to the UI if an incorrect phone number is received. What is the error code so I can replicate the functionality?," I asked.

    "No, we don't return an error. We strip any non-numeric characters and pre-pend zeros to make it 10 digits," came the reply.

    "You what?" I followed trying to hold back my rage of how casually the other team felt about stomping on key customer information. "Why would you do this?"

    "Well, the vendor's back-end system returned an error if we didn't pass a 10-digit phone number so we wanted to make sure there no errors," they replied matter of factly.

    "No. I will not replicate this functionality," came my reply, "I will return an error to the UI. If you don't like that, don't worry, the executive sponsoring this project will definitely not agree to this requested change when I show it to her."

    The request was quickly dropped. As a double check I logged into the application that the web service backs and tried changing a phone number. Yes, the UI made sure that phone numbers were 10 numeric characters. At least it looked like the old web service's creative assistance wasn't being used. And by standing my ground I avoided years of taunting for my friends on the business side like, "hey, were is area code 000 again?"

    Sorry, but I thought the conference call was funny because it was so true to life. I've been on so many similar. As for the validation on the phone numbers, it's no worse than other dick-headed requirements that have come our way which we have had no choice but to implement from designers who haven't got a fucking clue.

    Summary: pleasant light entertainment for a thursday otherwise lacking in craic.

  • anonymous (unregistered)

    Thank heaven for the Wikimedia stock photograph of a conference call phone. I'd definitely never seen one of those before, and it's so important to the story that I know what one looks like.

  • (cs)

    Does anyone else call it a Batphone?

  • Bananas (unregistered) in reply to faoileag
    faoileag:
    tharpa:
    I want my money back.
    Preferably appended with zeroes if the number is less than ten digits long.
    Whoever is giving the refunds, go ahead and append zeroes to faoileag's amount, but please append nines to mine. TYVM.
  • (cs)

    Area codes and other things. Back in days of old (pre 1995), when area codes only had a 1 or 0 as the middle digit, dialing numbers was (to put it mildly) weird. In good places (area code 408 was the last) you just dialed the 7 (local) or 10 (long distance) number. Other parts of the country weren't so enlightened, as the switch gear sometimes dated from the 1940's or worse. It was common to have SOME 7 digit numbers (local ones) just dialed directly, then you could have other 7 digit numbers (not so local) needing a prefix of '1' (to indicate their non locality). Otherwise you might need a '1' for a 10 digit number. Now when one accepts phone numbers you try your best. In my case I accepted either a 10 digit number, or a 7 digit number. being nice, if they entered the local area code and the local 7 digit number I stripped it off. Then I went to a lookup table to find out if a 7 digit number needed a '1' dialed before it, and added it in.

    Then it got complicated. If you wanted 'operator assistance' (good luck on that now) to do funny billing or some such, you needed to prepend a '0' to the dialed number, and omit the '1' if you had added it in before. Then it got even more complicated, as the switches in Chicago (312 area code) couldn't handle 7 digit numbers with a '0' prefix, so you needed to add back in the area code for that special case.

    Which brings us to this case. Some older person might have just entered the number as 1+7 digits, and if you followed the silly idea of 'just prepend 0' you might get a phone number that starts with '001', or if the person entered '11' as the prefix, you would get '011' as the prefix. Now if you happen to enter this into some automatic dialer, you could nicely dial '011 44 xxxxxx' which is the way you call overseas from here in North America.

    Now that would be a wonderful WTF!!

  • KingBeardo (unregistered)

    This is what happens when you let plebs use computers; I've always been of the mind that plebs and pleb-relevant business domains (anything involving the word 'user' at any point) shouldn't be allowed near our mighty machine minions. Also, I posit that plebs should be required to pay a stupidity tax and that the funds raised would be part of elite folks' compensation. That way we could remove the possibility of ever working for or in any way depending on plebs and could get some interesting research work done outside of University. Finally, I hope Miss Abby, as an apparent pleb herself, provided large checks and vigorous blowjobs for the two elites after the meeting

  • Anomaly (unregistered)

    Wouldn't a simple solution be to conceal an error message as a second/third/etc request for accurate information? Instead of saying their was an error in the data entered ask them to reconfirm all ten digits of their number. If it comes back again ask them to verify the area code, and the remaining 7 digits.

    We're not saying there was an error, but we're saying you need to enter this better

  • johann (unregistered) in reply to Zacrath
    Zacrath:
    TRWTF is hotlinking to an image hosted on wikimedia.org. That server gets enough traffic on its own.

    TRWTF is that if TDWTF continues publishing WTFs like this one, that kind of cross traffic will dwindles to nearly nothing.

  • Doctor Dr (unregistered) in reply to belzebub
    belzebub:
    That's no WTF. I'm really tired of these mediocre stories - this is just something that happens to ALL of us at least once a week. Everybody knows that customers are stupid and they never know what they want, and if they think they know what they want, it's usually utterly wrong on over 9000 levels.

    That's what IT is all about. It's NORMAL. It shouldn't be, but it is, so it can't be considered a WTF. WTF is something totally out of ordinary, something that leaves every intelligent being speachless, facepalming or ROFL-ing.

    For example - if, in this case, Art would explain, that this retarded "validation" process was what they were doing manually for YEARS, and that half of the database was filled with manually-crippled nonsense, that would start looking like a WTF. Then, while Bruce would've lost it and had begun eating his pencil, Dale would try to explain why this "validation" was not a good idea. Then Art could calmly requested Dale removed from the meeting and explained to Abby, why this Dale is no longer welcome in this company. Meanwhile, Bruce, his mouth full of pencil splinters, starts banging his head on the table. Art switches to "no-nonsense" mode and says: "This validation will be done tomorrow at 8:00. This is all, thank you for your cooperation". Bruce and Abby, eyes full of tears, sack poor Dale and Bruce implements braindead phone number validation. After 2 months, Art leaves the company and his replacements stares bewildered at the 000* phone numbers. Few calls later, Bruce is fired for intentionally destroying countless data records.

    THAT would be a WTF.

    Why does Abby have eyes full of tears? Are you being sexist and suggesting the token woman in the story is sad because she's desperately looking for love with all the boys? You're as sexist as all the posters yesterday!

  • me (unregistered)

    The real WTF .... no page 2...

  • Jan I Tor (unregistered) in reply to Bananas
    Bananas:
    faoileag:
    tharpa:
    I want my money back.
    Preferably appended with zeroes if the number is less than ten digits long.
    Whoever is giving the refunds, go ahead and append zeroes to faoileag's amount, but please append nines to mine. TYVM.
    I'l take prepended nines FTW, thanks.
  • Friedrice The Great (unregistered) in reply to dkf
    dkf:
    faoileag:
    tharpa:
    I want my money back.
    Preferably appended with zeroes if the number is less than ten digits long.
    Zimbabwean Dollars do for you?
    A while ago, my parents came back from a trip to Turkey with framed, 1M Turkish Lira banknotes, captioned with "Now you're a millionaire!". A currency converter at the time said the note was worth about 3 cents US ...
  • Kyle Huff (unregistered) in reply to belzebub
    belzebub:
    That's no WTF. I'm really tired of these mediocre stories - this is just something that happens to ALL of us at least once a week. Everybody knows that customers are stupid and they never know what they want, and if they think they know what they want, it's usually utterly wrong on over 9000 levels.

    That's what IT is all about. It's NORMAL. It shouldn't be, but it is, so it can't be considered a WTF. WTF is something totally out of ordinary, something that leaves every intelligent being speachless, facepalming or ROFL-ing.

    For example - if, in this case, Art would explain, that this retarded "validation" process was what they were doing manually for YEARS, and that half of the database was filled with manually-crippled nonsense, that would start looking like a WTF. Then, while Bruce would've lost it and had begun eating his pencil, Dale would try to explain why this "validation" was not a good idea. Then Art could calmly requested Dale removed from the meeting and explained to Abby, why this Dale is no longer welcome in this company. Meanwhile, Bruce, his mouth full of pencil splinters, starts banging his head on the table. Art switches to "no-nonsense" mode and says: "This validation will be done tomorrow at 8:00. This is all, thank you for your cooperation". Bruce and Abby, eyes full of tears, sack poor Dale and Bruce implements braindead phone number validation. After 2 months, Art leaves the company and his replacements stares bewildered at the 000* phone numbers. Few calls later, Bruce is fired for intentionally destroying countless data records.

    THAT would be a WTF.

    I formally request that the main article be rewritten to reflect this much better story.

  • Sparkles (unregistered)

    I am disapoint.

    I read the article twice and I still don't know how Hanzo fixed it.

  • Js (unregistered)

    Isn't TRWTF walking away from a meeting all proud of your plan to rely on client-side validation?

    Perhaps this article is just full of subtle sarcasm.

  • Js (unregistered) in reply to Js
    Js:
    Isn't TRWTF walking away from a meeting all proud of your plan to rely on client-side validation?

    Perhaps this article is just full of subtle sarcasm.

    LOL, I wrote this comment before reading Page 1. The real WTF is reading Bruce's actual submission after reading that pile of atrocious camp that invents coworkers and makes Bruce look like a complete moron. Got my fill after all; thanks.

  • Norman Diamond (unregistered) in reply to EmperorOfCanada
    EmperorOfCanada:
    So I cooked up a form changing example(5 minutes) and the first thing was an angry email saying that we were not to bill them any more than $5,000 for our in-house graphic artist. When I told them that it was me and it was 5 minutes work, they suggested that I should get out of software development into the much more lucrative world of graphic design.
    Let me guess. TRWTF was that you stubbornly stuck to making useful programs instead of taking their advice? Even if you only got enough calls to work 5 minutes per day, that would be $5,000 per day.
  • (cs) in reply to Bruce W
    Bruce W:
    And by standing my ground I avoided years of taunting for my friends on the business side like, "hey, were is area code 000 again?"

    In Australia, that would get you through to Emergency Services.

  • (cs) in reply to belzebub
    belzebub:
    That's no WTF. I'm really tired of these mediocre stories - this is just something that happens to ALL of us at least once a week.
    Let's look on the bright side. This is the first "feature article" in I-don't-know-how-long that actually describes a plausible scenario. So we've gone from uninteresting-and-untrue to uninteresting-and-probably-true. Now if they can just fix the uninteresting part, they'll be on to something.

    I suggest they go back to some of the submissions they've been butchering in the past year. I suspect that there really were some good WTFs in those that just got buried under the creative writing crap.

  • Mark from Oz (unregistered) in reply to flabdablet

    Reminds me of the time that an Aussie Telco accidentally zero padded their 6 digit customer service contact number to 10 digits (136 xx became 000013xxxx).

    Of course 000 in Australia is emergency (=911). Thus a spate of emergency calls from people who didn't really think about the number they were calling for customer support.

    Captcha: damnum... exactly.

  • Hannes (unregistered) in reply to Zacrath
    Zacrath:
    TRWTF is hotlinking to an image hosted on wikimedia.org. That server gets enough traffic on its own.

    No, TRWTF is hotlinking to a 2.272 x 1.704 image, but shrinking it down with "HTML magic" and setting the image width to 240...

  • nobulate (unregistered)

    The Real WTF is Bruce, Abby and Dale all being in agreement with each other.

    Teams that get along are fictitious at best.

  • Jim Blog (unregistered)

    Ah, conference calls, the least productive use of time ever invented. Why anyone thinks they're an efficient or effective way to accomplish anything, I'll never understand.

  • belzebub (unregistered) in reply to Jim Blog
    Jim Blog:
    Ah, conference calls, the least productive use of time ever invented. Why anyone thinks they're an efficient or effective way to accomplish anything, I'll never understand.
    Yeah.. right, right.. it's much easier to fly from europe to usa and back then to spend hour or two on conference call.. yeah
  • Freddy Bob (unregistered)

    TRWTF is including a 2272 x 1704 pixel image in an article and resizing it to 240 pixels in the image tag.

  • (cs) in reply to Algorythmics
    Algorythmics:
    how would such traces be used against you anyway? surely evidence that the email existed outside of a single piece of paper is going to give you a much more secure evidence base that such an email existed? being able to validate it through your personal email provider outside the control of your employer is an added bonus in any unfair dismissal proceedings.

    Sounds like you're giving humanity too much credit again.

    "As you know, Algorythmics' position allows access to a number of confidential documents and company secrets. Although we don't have detailed audits, our security department has evidence showing that a document on a high security file server, which may have been called http://sharepoint1.int/directions_to_year_end_bbq.pdf, was accessed by his user id on the 19th of December, and then several large messages were sent from his desktop to an outside email provider. Six hours later, my cherry red 1989 Porsche 964 had a flat tire, obviously the result of corporate espionage. Clearly this constitutes a breach of security policy and is grounds for immediate dismissal."

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Freddy Bob
    Freddy Bob:
    TRWTF is including a 2272 x 1704 pixel image in an article and resizing it to 240 pixels in the image tag.
    It looks great on my Apple retina display.
  • (cs) in reply to Mark from Oz
    Mark from Oz:
    Of course 000 in Australia is emergency (=911).

    Well there's the problem. Why don't more countries use an easy to remember number like 01189998819991197253 for emergency services?

  • (cs) in reply to belzebub
    belzebub:
    Jim Blog:
    Ah, conference calls, the least productive use of time ever invented. Why anyone thinks they're an efficient or effective way to accomplish anything, I'll never understand.
    Yeah.. right, right.. it's much easier to fly from europe to usa and back then to spend hour or two on conference call.. yeah

    My rule is that if you can't explain what the problem is in fifteen words or less, you have no business inviting me to a conference call to discuss it.

    Some day I hope to work with someone who can follow that rule.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to DCRoss
    DCRoss:
    belzebub:
    Jim Blog:
    Ah, conference calls, the least productive use of time ever invented. Why anyone thinks they're an efficient or effective way to accomplish anything, I'll never understand.
    Yeah.. right, right.. it's much easier to fly from europe to usa and back then to spend hour or two on conference call.. yeah

    My rule is that if you can't explain what the problem is in fifteen words or less, you have no business inviting me to a conference call to discuss it.

    Some day I hope to work with someone who can follow that rule.

    What sort of avenue would you suggest for discussing problems that can't be explained in fifteen words or less?
  • Yolken Bit (unregistered)

    Phone numbers shouldn't be validated for length. That's plain stupid unless all your customers are always going to be in Canada, US, Mexico, Carribean etc.. with 10 digit numbers. Oh wait, what happens in a few years when we run out of 10 digit numbers over here. What a shitshow!

  • Deciu (unregistered)

    It seems pretty obvious to me: Implement the same validation as the client-side validation does, and kick it back with an error that looks the same as the client-side validation failure.

  • Meep (unregistered) in reply to belzebub
    belzebub:
    That's no WTF. I'm really tired of these mediocre stories - this is just something that happens to ALL of us at least once a week. Everybody knows that customers are stupid and they never know what they want, and if they think they know what they want, it's usually utterly wrong on over 9000 levels.

    That's what IT is all about. It's NORMAL. It shouldn't be, but it is, so it can't be considered a WTF. WTF is something totally out of ordinary, something that leaves every intelligent being speachless[sic], facepalming or ROFL-ing.

    Look up for a second at the URL of this site.

    It's not once-in-a-lifetime-WTF or nuclear-catastrophe-WTF. It is "the daily WTF". Things that happen daily are normal. The point of the site is that this is ridiculous shit that happens all the time, because technology and people are so fundamentally broken.

  • Chelloveck (unregistered) in reply to Bruce W
    Bruce W:
    "No. I will not replicate this functionality," came my reply, "I will return an error to the UI. If you don't like that, don't worry, the executive sponsoring this project will definitely not agree to this requested change when I show it to her."

    Wait, so it never occurred to you that the padding might be simply ignored by whatever's pulling the numbers out of the legacy system? You know, like for 7-digit dialing or something? Or maybe special values to indicate "no number provided" or other oddball conditions? Not the best practice, I agree, but also not uncommon in legacy systems.

    And it also never occurred to you that the web service middleware might actually be used by something other than the UI and so might need to do validation of its own? At least making sure the data well-formed?

    AND you thought the exec would back you up on this instead of saying, "This change will take all of 30 seconds to code and will make the customer happy. In the time it took you being a prima donna prick to the customer you could have had it done."

    This might be the first story I've seen here where the author himself is TRWTF.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Chelloveck
    Chelloveck:
    And it also never occurred to you that the web service middleware might actually be used by something other than the UI and so might need to do validation of its own? At least making sure the data well-formed?
    "Validation" and "let's beat on this with a rubber mallet until it fits into the column that we're supposed to store it in" are two entirely different things. Returning an error is the correct thing to do.
  • TRWTF (unregistered) in reply to Zacrath

    TRWTF is hotlinking to an image hosted on wikimedia.org. That server gets enough traffic on its own.

    How else would we know what a speakerphone looks like?

  • Ajith Nair (unregistered)

    This is so well-written. It was like experiencing all of it first-hand. The wait for the client to join, the voices crackling over a long-distance line, the beeps announcing someone has joined or left ... .

  • whocares (unregistered)

    this would have been hilarious 2 weeks out of college but as others have noted this is just par for the course.

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