• Bob... Billy Bob (unregistered)
    Dirk Diggler:
    At what point do we cross over into stalking?

    Man, you are a real downer, aren't you? I bet you're a tremendous hit at parties.

  • Worldwalker (unregistered) in reply to Bob... Billy Bob

    Anyone who presents their advertising to the public has to expect that the public will read (and, if appropriate, mock) that advertising. We're not laughing at a little girl's ballet recital; we're laughing at a supposedly high-tech business that demonstrated that they're unable to do for themselves what they claim to be able to do for others.

  • Mr.'; Drop Database -- (unregistered) in reply to Bob... Billy Bob
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    Dirk Diggler:
    At what point do we cross over into stalking?
    Man, you are a real downer, aren't you? I bet you're a tremendous hit at parties.
    You are not funny. Go launch yourself into space.
  • (cs) in reply to Addison

    Even better, Mellatech's page contains a paid ad link as part of his actual content. Winner!

  • (cs) in reply to JDubya
    JDubya:
    Wow, I live like 10 minutes from the Mellatech HQ. Maybe I should engage them to figure out why my x386 can't run windows vista?

    Wow... You have an x386. All I have is this stinking i386.

    Incidentally, at work today we turned on a VT105 to see if it worked.

  • mos (unregistered) in reply to Survey User 2338
    Survey User 2338:

    Dyslexia fun can be!

    We are dyslexic of borg refutance is systile your ass will be laminated!

  • (cs) in reply to Jeff
    Jeff:
    I don't get why International was circled...
    Well, "international" is an adjective and as such would only start with a capital letter at the beginning of a sentence or as part of a common name (like "International Association Of ..."). Never just because it's the first word in brackets.

    That reminds me: I forgot to circle "Calling Cards" and "Cell Phones", so it makes a total of seven...

  • Bob... Billy Bob (unregistered) in reply to Mr.'; Drop Database --
    Mr.'; Drop Database --:
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    Dirk Diggler:
    At what point do we cross over into stalking?
    Man, you are a real downer, aren't you? I bet you're a tremendous hit at parties.
    You are not funny. Go launch yourself into space.

    That's interesting, coming from someone naming themselves "Mr.'; Drop Database --", an idiotic attempt at humour if there ever was one. Ohh hooo... look at the kewwwwwl SQL Injection joke guy. Jackass.

  • (cs) in reply to Iceman
    Iceman:
    Haha, brisbane FTW!

    ... (or as you yanks would say, a parking garage)

    Oh, and it's pronounced like "Brizbin" - not with a long "a" sound like the yanks would say. :)

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Bob... Billy Bob
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    Mr.'; Drop Database --:
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    Dirk Diggler:
    At what point do we cross over into stalking?
    Man, you are a real downer, aren't you? I bet you're a tremendous hit at parties.
    You are not funny. Go launch yourself into space.

    That's interesting, coming from someone naming themselves "Mr.'; Drop Database --", an idiotic attempt at humour if there ever was one. Ohh hooo... look at the kewwwwwl SQL Injection joke guy. Jackass.

    He's got a point there Mr.'; Drop, after all he's not the one lifting stale humour from ancient XKCD comics. Go launch yourself into XKCD space so you can find yourself another 1337 screen name.

  • signof (unregistered)

    "Coming soon"? O really? why is it called ME-l-LATE-ch then?

  • (cs) in reply to jim
    jim:
    appoointment - didn't spot that one, but here's a better one:

    "Mellatech professionals have been working with technolgoy for over 16 years, and focusing on networking "

    TECHNOLGOY - WTF!!!!

    I worked with technolgoy, just not on Saturdays.

  • incassum (unregistered) in reply to BobB
    BobB:
    Addison:
    From the site: Working with a Mellatech technology professional will keep you on top of your "computing game" and allow you to keep up with your competitors by providing that bit of "Edge" needed to compete in today's technology world.

    It really reads more like a personal ad. After all, why else would he use so many quotes unless it was a double entendre? On top of my "computer game"? Rawr.

    That, or they are going to sell us a new energy drink that'll give us the Edge to compete!

    Mellatech, The Thirst (and Spelling) Mutilator! Its got electrolytes!

    electrolytes? You mean like from the toilet?

  • Mr.'; Drop Database -- (unregistered) in reply to Bob... Billy Bob
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    Mr.'; Drop Database --:
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    Dirk Diggler:
    At what point do we cross over into stalking?
    Man, you are a real downer, aren't you? I bet you're a tremendous hit at parties.
    You are not funny. Go launch yourself into space.
    That's interesting, coming from someone naming themselves "Mr.'; Drop Database --", an idiotic attempt at humour if there ever was one. Ohh hooo... look at the kewwwwwl SQL Injection joke guy. Jackass.
    You must be devoutly religious. Not only have you turned the other cheek, you've slapped it yourself.
  • TopCod3r (unregistered)

    Wow, just wow

  • Zorak (unregistered) in reply to tdittmar

    From the online résumé for Mellatech:

    1991 - Mellatech, Inc. owner Graduates from University of Kansas with BS in Film Studies

    Oh noes!

  • John Beaner (unregistered)

    LOL, Think I'd go see Geek Squad before I went there! LOL

    Jess www.Privacy-Center.net

  • (cs) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    I wonder what Apple Computer or Microsoft's first sign looked like.

    Everyone starts somewhere.

    Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate?

    Just a thought.

  • Vic Tim (unregistered) in reply to Worldwalker
    Worldwalker:
    Anyone who presents their advertising to the public has to expect that the public will read (and, if appropriate, mock) that advertising. We're not laughing at a little girl's ballet recital; we're laughing at a supposedly high-tech business that demonstrated that they're unable to do for themselves what they claim to be able to do for others.

    This is why they call it shameless self-promotion, right? An' it's up to US to put the shame back where it belongs!

  • Vic Tim (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    I wonder what Apple Computer or Microsoft's first sign looked like.

    Everyone starts somewhere.

    It probably looked like someone used a sliderule or at least a straightedge FFS.

  • (cs)

    I see that the owner of Mellatech has become aware of our comments here. I did read something about kicking a man for trying and that our day of judgement will come.

    It did take a while to read all of this, mind you, I spent a lot of time looking at Microsoft Office Live Small Business critical error pages. I'm glad my business web site doesn't depend on Office Live.

    B

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to havokk

    http://ctoswego.com/default.aspx

    REPLY FROM MELATECH (latest incarnation of their home page) below. Look out microsoft...

    Don't mind the dolts at http://thedailywtf.com/ as they are all afraid to leave Mommy and Daddy's house, and step out on their own. It seems they prefer to kick a man for trying, and making a few basic errors, instead of providing courteous criticism, and helping them to make corrections. It's just too bad there are people like that in the world, and I firmly believe their day of judgment will come.

    The irony is that all the traffic their site has generated greatly increased my client base, and we're doing very well! We've moved on, and expanded from our first store, and will be knocking on Microsoft's door very soon.

    Yes, this site was designed using Microsoft templates. No, I'm not lysdxsic just chir, and doreb

    "dyslexic" "rich", and "bored" for you sumdhits out there

  • Me not you. (unregistered) in reply to havokk

    Websites need be edited, and while that occurs, pages may be unavailable, and thus may generate errors.

  • t3h (unregistered)

    http://ctoswego.com/sitemap.aspx

    This is a WTF in and of itself:

    "Site Map

    This is a list of all the Web pages on this site.

    About Us Contact Us Mellatech, Inc. "

  • Me not you. (unregistered) in reply to t3h

    Site map is in the default templates.

  • Mat D (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Coward

    Ok, I'll admit it... I was bored and wanted to see how he would react, so I sent him an email saying his great website was featured here. :)

  • O...kay... (unregistered)

    Oh noes, he knows!

    "Don't mind the dolts at http://thedailywtf.com/ as they are all afraid to leave Mommy and Daddy's house, and step out on their own. It seems they prefer to kick a man for trying, and making a few basic errors, instead of providing courteous criticism, and helping them to make corrections. It's just too bad there are people like that in the world, and I firmly believe their day of judgment will come.

    The irony is that all the traffic their site has generated greatly increased my client base, and we're doing very well! We've moved on, and expanded from our first store, and will be knocking on Microsoft's door very soon. Yes, this site was designed using Microsoft templates."

    Yes because visitors to DWTF will be willing 'clients'. It's never clever to go throwing around insults about people...especially when WHOIS exists ;)

    http://www.whois.net/whois_new.cgi?d=ctoswego&tld=com

  • (cs)

    Heh heh. Once I saw an ad for used books in my University. The guy used a computer and a printer to make it. No, he didn't use Word nor any other text editor. Instead, he drew free-hand all letters with Paint using the "pencil" tool, and printed the mess.

  • RBoy (unregistered)

    Well, you can tell he's rich, he used colored construction paper.

  • Manu (unregistered)

    Hahaha the dude at Mellatech is now PIIISSED.

    http://ctoswego.com/default.aspx

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    I've been thinking about what happened in the comments here in this thread.

    Originally the posting contained a piece of of accidental irony. The comments were unusually harsh. The grammar nazis were out in full force, as was to be expected, but I think we can all agree (from the presence of postings to counter it) that there was more of a tone of anger than usual.

    I'd like to posit some reasons why.

    1. Programmers detest dyslexics. Overcoming dyslexia is a prerequisite for writing code. We have all seen dyslexic code, and it wasn't fun. We've all dealt with dyslexic testers, and wished for legalized euthanasia. Technical activity is based on logical thought, and that process is impeded in some critical ways for dyslexics. Any dyslexic programmer will tell you just how hard they've worked to overcome their disorder.

    2. EVERYONE hates "The Computer Guy". 99% of all technological problems are caused not by software, nor hardware, but by wetware. The guy who thinks he knows some stuff, who has to have a tamper, is the guy who causes 99% of our problems. Mellatech is one of those computer guys. He's almost certainly cutting a lovely wage from his venture. He's also working hard to make our lives worse. We know this. He doesn't know this. In fact, he's probably making more money than we are. So is it really any wonder he engages our scorn?

    Well, that ought to win me an award for Epic Troll of the Year. Please send the certificate and statuette to me c/o Mellatech.

  • (cs)

    I guess he's not dyslexic after all. Guess he's just ADD based on the current Mellatech homepage:

    1. Film studies was my
  • Yeah, Right. (unregistered)

    Hey, Mellatech's website has now been updated again! Now I think he finally understands the point behind wtf.com.

    Check it out http://www.ctoswego.com

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to Yeah, Right.

    Quoted here for posterity... latest version of his home page...

    OK, Fine, Ill try another approach...

    In the interest of not frustrating the entire world (as I seem to have done with my site adjustments yesterday) and in the interest of not wanting to undermine the image of small IT consultants everywhere, and/or the concept with which we attempt to get our businesses off the ground, I will take the comments from wtf.com as constructive, and re-do the website a bit. Yes, I'll check my spelling a little..aww, who am I kidding, a LOT better this time, and to be honest with you I didn't really proofread it until you all made note (thanks, by the way) as I put the site together quickly one evening, and promptly became very busy, not to return.

    However in the interest of speed, I will most likely still be using the Microsoft templates from Office Small Business (Mainly because it's pretty simple, and it's free) And, If it's any consolation, I've been using a Mac for the last year, and have been the only one able to support a Mac's at the office, so I'm not totally averse to change, or challenges.

    Some things to note:

    1. I've eliminated the Site Map page. Yes it's a little stupid to have a site map page for a 3 page website, but I didn't design the template, nor (more obviously) did I spend a great deal of time trying to alter it. (for you, Paul)

    2. What Jason Sullivan didn't show or note in the photo is that the entire picture window was painted by hand, and more appropriate. This probably wasn't noted because the picture submitted was from early in the year, if not winter of '07, and I'm sure We had the other window sign painted since early in the spring of '08. The other one stayed because my young daughter like the colors. (

    3. I'm not dyslexic, and shame on those of you who made fun of the condition. (ObiWayneKenobi, Code Dependent, D S Lexic, Bappi)

    4. I thought about not putting Film Studies in there, but needed to account for the time, and note to people that I, indeed had a Bachelor's degree. (See #5) I've been in the business since the early 1990's, and do now have several MS Certifications (not that it means a hill of beans these days as they were mostly in NT) an advanced degree in Network Engineering, and an MBA in Technology Management. I'm currently the Director of IT for a highly respected, large law firm in Chicago, responsible for a multi-million dollar budget, and a staff of 14 on my team. This business, and the website are more of a side business for me so I can offer my talent and experience (albeit not my spelling) to homes and small business in my local area whom may not have the time, money or inclination to conduct some of the more basic computing functions themselves. I'm all about "Helping the little guy" (I hope this is a correct use of quotes JamesQMurphy)

    5. I had an extensive, and exciting career in the film industry before getting into computing, and had the option to work on many great shows, and movies with many great, and famous people not to mention over 250 TV local, national, and international commercials (remember when Michael Jordan made his comeback during he super bowl of 1993?) If you find it necessary to know more about me, go to http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0415577/ I worked on many more projects than are listed here...I even had a stint as a stunt man/stunt double in a few Steele's Law scenes.

    6. I agree with Worldwalker in that, 'Anyone who presents their advertising to the public has to expect that the public will read (and, if appropriate, mock) that advertising.' Yes, I misspelled a few words. I also failed English in High school AND college, but was still able to get a Masters in Technolgoy...I mean Technology Management, but thanks for helping me realize the error of my ways...

    Long story short, I'm not a moron, and folks at wtf.com are not dolts. The internet is not anonymous, and I'm not trying to remain anonymous.

    My name is Scott Jager, and I'm a technology consultant with an MBA in Technology Management. I direct a team of 14 IT Professionals for a prestigious law firm in Chicago, and I consult on a part time basis when the firm doesn't require my time. I live in Oswego, Illinois, and I can't spell for shit, so don't count on me for that.

    If you need a technology consultant, give me a shot; I really do know what I'm doing. I can help with PC or Mac (intermediate)

    630.888.8006 [email protected]

  • (cs) in reply to Yeah, Right.
    Yeah:
    Hey, Mellatech's website has now been updated again! Now I think he finally understands the point behind wtf.com.

    Check it out http://www.ctoswego.com

    Yeah, it even looks a lot better now. Still needs a little help on the grammar though:

    .. so I can offer my talent and experience (albeit not my spelling) to homes and small business in my local area whom may not have the time...

    I'm pretty sure that should be businesses instead of business and who instead of whom.

  • D S Lexic (unregistered) in reply to D S Lexic
    D S Lexic:
    . . . I'd almost be willing to bet on dyslexia. Note the film school degree.

    A lot of people in the arts are dyslexic. Whether its because dyslexics gravitate to the arts because they generally don't require the sort of spelling and reading skills which other occupations do and, thus, they're more comfortable there or, Neurobiologist Margaret Livingstone suggests, there's a certain predisposition in dyslexics which makes them better artists, I'm not willing to say (there are sound arguments made for each position), but a dyslexic with a film degree is unsurprising.

    Dyslexics aren't stupid, they're just rotten spellers. I know. I live with one with a masters degree. Her sister's also terribly dyslexic but it didn't stop her from getting a PhD in Molecular Biology.

    If Scott Jager is still reading this load of drivel, please note that I wasn't making fun of dyslexics -- as I pointed out, my SO is a dyslexic, as is her PhD bearing sister, and I have a great deal of respect for both, knowing, at least by proxy, how difficult it is to navigate a "lexic" world. Both of them are measurably smarter than I am, though that may be damning with faint praise, given the lowness of that particular bar.

    Nor was I making fun of folks with film school degrees, by the way. One of my best friends is the chair of a rather prestigious film school program and she'd properly flay me alive if I even considered "disrespecting" film school grads.

    I was just pointing out the preponderance of dyslexics in the arts and pondering the reason. By the way, my SO posits the "can't spell" theory but after hearing Livingstone speak on the subject recently, I'm tending to agree with her theory.

    Post hoc, propter hoc.

  • csm (unregistered) in reply to Bappi
    Bappi:
    JD:
    I'm glad I'm not dylesxic. That would really sips me off.
    Dyslexics of the world, untie!

    Reminds me of a Bill Hicks quote: "People who hate people, stand together!"

    "....NO!"

  • ytrytr (unregistered)

    its probably done by the owners kid, i think its cute

  • (cs)

    I notice a recurring theme in Error'd where by all video signage seems to operate by sampling the upper-left corner of a Windows desktop. Does anyone here have any experience with signage of this sort? Is this how it really works? Why on earth would something be designed like that?

  • (cs)

    Chris notes, "Our company's internet security is a bit excessive."

    Some companies really do get rather ridiculous.

    At mine, the IT Programming Staff have had to "get permissions" to access many information sites directly associated with the job -- Forums, Tech sites, and the like.

    And it's counterproductive. If you're just looking for ways to improve how you do something, you hit that wall and you just say "F*** it." and stop looking -- you don't ask for permission, even if it is readily provided.

    Either you trust your programming staff or why the hell did you hire them?

  • (cs) in reply to ytrytr
    ytrytr:
    its probably done by the owners kid, i think its cute

    LOL, that might fly if the web page was not similarly incompetently done.

    Hint: Can you say "spellcheck"? I knew you could.

  • Beau W / Porpus (unregistered) in reply to OBloodyHell
    OBloodyHell:
    >Either you trust your programming staff or why the hell did you hire them?

    I've often wondered the same thing. Don't ever discount the possibility that you're being kept around for reasons other than simple productivity. At various jobs, I have been the token genius, the token member of the local ethnic group, and even the token non-Microsoft guy.

    In one place, I was one of about 5% of programmers who didn't have a "Senior" title, and this actually reflected positively on our department somehow (we had a "better mix of age and talent levels"... my role was basically that of the prison b1tch.)

    In certain fields, it's considered good form to hire a contingent of high IQ / advanced degree types, even if you don't listen to them. I just left a job like that. I basically existed to put up a token argument so that the "architect" could maintain a facade of collaboration. In each of these cases, I was indispensable but not very well-utilized.

    These types of situations remind me of the more general assumption that underlies the free market system: that individual actors acting in their own best interest will naturally achieve an optimal outcome. The problem is, people (and companies) don't act based on their own best interest. They act based on TV, hormones, fear, racism, etc. and those seemingly random factors may better explain your job better than anything they teach at business school.

    It's quite possible you were hired because your boss saw a particularly inspiring episode of 24.

  • Beau W / Porpus (unregistered) in reply to ytrytr
    ytrytr:
    its probably done by the owners kid, i think its cute

    Yeah, I agree. When I see a sign like that, I think, "oh, wow; he reproduced." This guy could have wasted his time playing Second Life, or dicking around with some open source project, or trolling on the Lara Croft IMDB forum. But he didn't, he actually made a baby, and he expects to get a cheap boost in business for it. I've got no problem with that. I know I'm not supposed to care where his profits go, but I do.

  • Vic Tim (unregistered)

    And because I love to double-post... I'll tell a story about this time we visited a church in the little place out in BFE where I grew up. I'm with a pastor friend who's not entirely tech-savvy but insists on using software for presentation of all kinds. He's very aware of the whole "making an impression" thing, right? So he notices right away that there are visible lines, shadows around the cut out and taped-on headings and paragraphs in this church flyer, obviously made with clear tape and a copy machine instead of Pagey Layer Outter 4.0 and a laser printer. Scary. He says to me, "Look at this!" and makes some comment about what people expect will fly out in the world... I think it's just a matter of the person who knows DTP and the person who puts their time and energy into the printouts being two people instead of one. And given that these people are mostly of not all 1) country bumpkins and 2) trying to live in the 50s and 3) baptists or methodists or equivalent, they're far from the conditioning we take for granted, and it's no surprise at all. Nobody knows any better except a visitor, nobody criticizes or complains, and nobody makes any further effort. Maybe they do but maybe there's a 65-yr old lady running the copier who maybe isn't letting go of her position, I don't know...

    Anyway I pointed out that they have either one problem or another and apparently they chose to fight with tape and scissors rather than fight with an overloaded POS like the ones that give us the problems that these other people avoid.

    However.

    WTF. Construction paper? Don't they have a Kinko's or anything in Oswego? It's not Carrollton, OH is it?

    construction paper obstructs constructive criticism and invites lysdexic witticism. Which reminds me...

    Q. How many dead babies does it take to create a website with Microsoft Office?

    A. Office Live only runs on live babies.

    Yeah, I don't go to church anymore...

  • tumbleweedius (unregistered) in reply to tdittmar

    He's now basically replaced the page with a notice telling people not to make fun of him because he r smart. He has an MBA in Technology Management! He even manages a team of 14 IT professionals for a prestigious law firm! I always knew that lawyers were getting dumber.

  • Not a chance (unregistered) in reply to tumbleweedius

    ...and here you are hiding behind an anonymous post. What's your life like, and what are you doing these days? Those who live in glass houses...

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