The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Dear Web Architect,

Directive 595 part 10 is as follows.

"Context appropriate responses require extra design time, introduce locale dependencies translating into more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the web pages acting as a service to applications and make them an inhibitor to evolution."

As such, please replace all responses with NO or No.

Sincerely,

Chief Architect Gerald

Kiss me I'm Polish · 2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Peter:
Maurizio:
Mamma mia, not mama mia> Two m.
Maurizio
Hmm - I'm seeing four of them in "Mamma mia".

You filthy illiterates all of you - I'm also seeing two of "Mamma mia", which everyone has missed. In fact, three. Mamma mia mamma mia, mamma mia let me go.

Who says it's not mama mia, anyway?

http://www.elyrics.net/read/q/queen-lyrics/bohemian-rhapsody-lyrics.html

You'd getting confused with Abba, you stupid cunt.

Well guess what, the lyrics are misspelled, you rashy bug-ridden pervert dog of the inbred shanty-living pigs that stole my bike!

2011-12-02 Reply Admin

That "can't release to failure" error isn't AMD-related; it shows up on my system too and I don't have a single AMD component or driver installed. I think it's a Gigabyte thing, actually.

Silfax · 2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Sockatume:
It's clear that that MS dialogue box should be "transfers only files" and not "only transfers files". One would assume MS could afford better technical writers.

No,... the translators couldn't translate because they were written in the same different language.

brunascle · 2011-12-02 Reply Admin

That arcade photo was taken at Funspot wasn't it? I took a picture of the same thing there but on a different game.

Matt Westwood · 2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Kiss me I'm Polish:
Matt Westwood:
Peter:
Maurizio:
Mamma mia, not mama mia> Two m.
Maurizio
Hmm - I'm seeing four of them in "Mamma mia".

You filthy illiterates all of you - I'm also seeing two of "Mamma mia", which everyone has missed. In fact, three. Mamma mia mamma mia, mamma mia let me go.

Who says it's not mama mia, anyway?

http://www.elyrics.net/read/q/queen-lyrics/bohemian-rhapsody-lyrics.html

You'd getting confused with Abba, you stupid cunt.

Well guess what, the lyrics are misspelled, you rashy bug-ridden pervert dog of the inbred shanty-living pigs that stole my bike!

Oh lisp off and COBOL yourself.

2011-12-02 Reply Admin

A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

And yet the description card reads "Standard microwave touch controls", moron.

2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Chinsy:
A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

And yet the description card reads "Standard microwave touch controls", moron.

Congratulations moron, you got the joke. By the way moron, signatures are usually on a separate line, instead of separated by a comma.

2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Public Enum Boolean Yes No
no NO NOOOOOOOO FileNotFound end enum

syockit · 2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Some damn Yank:
Qvazar:
Sockatume:
It's clear that that MS dialogue box should be "transfers only files" and not "only transfers files". One would assume MS could afford better technical writers.
I submitted that. The dialog appeared when I wanted to transfer a windows user from a danish windows 7 pro to an english windows 7 ultimate with the danish language pack installed.
The sense I could extract from it, was that it could not transfer user settings, such as desktop background, font settings, etc., only actual files. So TRWTF is, why is user settings not compatible across different languages of Windows 7?!
No, the real WTF is that you expected a TRANSLATION of your documents from danish to english. At least, that's what the story says: "so can I only translate between the same languages?" To answer that question: Sorry, Windows Easy Transfer cannot translate your files, it can transfer only them.

…

FTFY

DaveK · 2011-12-02 Reply Admin

ParkinT:
The Manual Microwave requires you to generate the radiation yourself; by vibrating the food at an extremely short wavelength.

I see you're not clear on the difference between a photon and a phonon...

DaveK · 2011-12-02 Reply Admin

Jimbob:
[] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] Oh mama mia! [] Mama Mia let me go!

[] FRIST [] Frist [] fRist [] frIst [] friSt [] frisT [] frist [] FRIST!

D-Coder · 2011-12-03 Reply Admin

DaveK:
ParkinT:
The Manual Microwave requires you to generate the radiation yourself; by vibrating the food at an extremely short wavelength.
I see you're not clear on the difference between a photon and a phonon...

Be grateful. A lot of people can't tell the difference between a phonon and a pronoun.

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

The Vicar of Dibley was the first thing I thought of. It used to run here (Seattle WA USA), loved that show.

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

Sockatume:
It's clear that that MS dialogue box should be "transfers only files" and not "only transfers files". One would assume MS could afford better technical writers.

Umm, that IS exactly what it says. Honestly, I'm still not seeing the WTF with that one.

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

me:
Sockatume:
It's clear that that MS dialogue box should be "transfers only files" and not "only transfers files". One would assume MS could afford better technical writers.
Umm, that IS exactly what it says. Honestly, I'm still not seeing the WTF with that one.

TRWFT with that dialog is the dialog text.

The title bar is reasonably clear (though a little odd), then they screwed it up with an overly-long and complicated explanation of what the title means.

Better: Windows Easy Transfer can only transfer files This Easy Transfer file was created on a computer running a different language to this one, so Windows Easy Transfer cannot transfer any settings.

Of course even better would be to say that before even selecting the file, rather than as a dialog partway through the process.

Best would be to use the proper term - COPY! I mean COPY!

oheso · 2011-12-03 Reply Admin

Just some lovely ambiguity with the use of "only" in the English language (which, as we all know, does not use positional syntax a la Latin). Along the lines of Facebook's "X only shares some information with everyone." Perfectly fine grammar, but caused me a triple-take when I first encountered it. What is clearly meant is, "X has chosen to keep this information private."

Now, as to preferences not being transferable between languages, it's easy to imagine situations in which different languages have different preference choices, making preference transfer more of a translation. It might not be such a huge task between languages along the same branch of the family tree such as English and Danish, but could become a nightmare with multi-byte languages (such as I routinely deal with) and right-to-left scripts, etc.

SQLDave · 2011-12-03 Reply Admin

Jimbob:
[] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] Oh mama mia! [] Mama Mia let me go!

I bow before your genius, sir.

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

Shinobu:
This fail in particular, is called Windows Me.

[]Microsoft has a devil []put aside []for me []For Me []FOR MEEEEEEE!

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

Steve The Cynic:
A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

Wow! That's the complete opposite of what I have always considered the sensible opinion. Classic style microwave interfaces are far superior to any others, since they allow you - the user - to control the microwave. You decide the effect and time, and it does what you tell it. With 15 touch buttons, auto defrost and +- control to navigate menus, you'll invariably end up with the microwave buzzing and rotating your food for a couple of minutes, finishing off with an annoying beep instead of a pleasant bell, and the food being barely lukewarm.

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

bohemian cod3r:
Jimbob:
[] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] Oh mama mia! [] Mama Mia let me go!
[]Beelzebub has a devil []put aside []for me []For Me [v]FOR MEEEEEEEEEE!

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

Qvazar:
The sense I could extract from it, was that it could not transfer user settings, such as desktop background, font settings, etc., only actual files. So TRWTF is, why is user settings not compatible across different languages of Windows 7?!

The underlying Registry keys are localized on localized versions of Windows and Windows Applications. There is pretty much no way you could figure out what any given setting should map to since they could come from arbitrary 3rd party applications.

As for the wording, it's possibly not the greatest piece of English ever written, however it is perfectly correct.

2011-12-03 Reply Admin

There is nothing wrong with petabyte dialog, The size of harddisk is reasonable, and the size of free space also. The size of source file is bogus, perhaps it can happen if you have hardlinks in source directory, or if network filesystem has reported extraneos info (damn fuckng samba).

Matt Westwood · 2011-12-04 Reply Admin

Chris:
Steve The Cynic:
A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

Wow! That's the complete opposite of what I have always considered the sensible opinion. Classic style microwave interfaces are far superior to any others, since they allow you - the user - to control the microwave. You decide the effect and time, and it does what you tell it. With 15 touch buttons, auto defrost and +- control to navigate menus, you'll invariably end up with the microwave buzzing and rotating your food for a couple of minutes, finishing off with an annoying beep instead of a pleasant bell, and the food being barely lukewarm.

Yes, that's if youre shit with modern applicances.

Cad Delworth · 2011-12-04 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Who says it's not mama mia, anyway?

Unless you're reading from the published sheet music (no, I don't have that either), you can't say one way or the other. However, I wouldn't put my faith in a dodgy lyric site that can't even spell "Bismillah" correctly (!).

Matt Westwood:
you stupid c**t.

Seriously, there's no need for filthy, offensive language like that.

2011-12-04 Reply Admin

Sockatume:
It's clear that that MS dialogue box should be "transfers only files" and not "only transfers files". One would assume MS could afford better technical writers.

What you talking about?

2011-12-04 Reply Admin

Larry:
Philipp:
Pfff, you clearly don't understand the many different connotations of the word "No". There are, for example:

The confiden "No", or "No!", like in "No, the chip hasn't got Fast Wake"

The negative inconfident "No", or "No...", like in "No, I don't think the chip has Fast Wake"

The positive inconfident "No", or "No?", like in "It had NanoWatt Fast Wake, no?"

The indifferent "No", or "Naaaah...", like in "No, I don't think Fast Wake matters that much". Note that this is different from the "No Preference" option in that "No Preference" implies a conscious, well thought out choice to ignore this factor, while the indifferent "No" implies a more spontaneous and impulsive statement hinting that the speakers opinion in this regard isn't set in stone yet.

The offended "No", or "NO!!!", like in "No, I won't answer such a ridiculous question!"

The pleading "No", or "Nooooo", like in "No! please! Make it stop! No more questions!"

Knowing the difference between these different forms of "No" allows them to deliver much more relevant search results.
You forgot "the No that sounds like Yes" as in, when you ask a girl if she'll go out with you, and she says Yes, but she knows full well she never will.

Then of course, there is the opposite, when she says No but she means Yes.

This fundamental, congenital inability to communicate is why girls are TRWTF.

Leisuresuit Larry: If you ever assume No means yes you are in big trouble....

It's much like assuming when they say they are 15 they're really 18, or when they say their 18, they're really 18....

2011-12-04 Reply Admin

frits:
C-Octothorpe:
frits:
ParkinT:
The Manual Microwave requires you to generate the radiation yourself; by vibrating the food at an extremely short wavelength.
{According to Wikipedia: A microwave oven works by passing non-ionizing microwave radiation, usually at a frequency of 2.45 gigahertz (GHz)—a wavelength of 122 millimetres (4.80 in)—through the food.}
Piece of cake. I vibrate meat at a wavelength close to 4.8 inches on the regular.
That's quite brave of you to share that with us.

Also, sorry...
Thanks for the constructive criticism of my dick. Takes one to know one, right?

Actually, past experience suggests that moving 4.8 inches would make the size somewhat bigger than that - even it your hand moved from the very base to the very tip you'd be talking about 8.8 inches - given that's not really how people wank (not me anyways) I think we're talking about 10-12....

2011-12-04 Reply Admin

you are wrong.

2011-12-05 Reply Admin

Maybe this is one of those cases when no can also mean yes..

bjolling · 2011-12-05 Reply Admin

Some damn Yank:
Much better than the Windows Impossible Transfer, which is what we used to have. You know, the one where you had to transfer everything manually, like when migrating from Windows 95 to Windows 2000.

Those were the days :)

2011-12-05 Reply Admin

Steve The Cynic:
A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

I have no problems with that at all. Say I want to warm up something for 16 seconds. Put it in the microwave. timer to 5 minutes, close the door, count to sixteen, open the door.

2011-12-05 Reply Admin

gnasher729:
Steve The Cynic:
A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

I have no problems with that at all. Say I want to warm up something for 16 seconds. Put it in the microwave. timer to 5 minutes, close the door, count to sixteen, open the door.

You mean, you can actually do that???

QJo · 2011-12-05 Reply Admin

Cyt:
gnasher729:
Steve The Cynic:
A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

I have no problems with that at all. Say I want to warm up something for 16 seconds. Put it in the microwave. timer to 5 minutes, close the door, count to sixteen, open the door.

You mean, you can actually do that???

More than 20 is a challenge, I think he runs out of fingers and toes.

2011-12-05 Reply Admin

QJo:
Cyt:
gnasher729:
Steve The Cynic:
A "Manual" microwave will be one with a non-electronic timer. Severely crap and definitely to be avoided, as old-style mechanical kitchen timers are notoriously hard to set for short intervals.

I have no problems with that at all. Say I want to warm up something for 16 seconds. Put it in the microwave. timer to 5 minutes, close the door, count to sixteen, open the door.

You mean, you can actually do that???

More than 20 is a challenge, I think he runs out of fingers and toes.

Maybe for random access counting. If you're only going sequentially, most competent readers of this site should be able to get up to just over 17 minutes with two hands. The 3rd and 6th bit can be hard to set to 1 when 2/4 and 5/7 are 0, but it works with practice.

2011-12-05 Reply Admin

QJo:
Jimbob:
[] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] NO [] No [] Oh mama mia! [] Mama Mia let me go!

[] No [] No [] no [] no [] No [] no [] no [] No- [] no- [] no- [] no- [] No [] Joan Crawford has risen [] From the grave

[] No [] No [] no [] no [] No [] no [] no [] No- [] no- [] no- [] no- [] No [] There's no limit

2011-12-05 Reply Admin

jspenguin:
That dialog sounds like Madeline Kahn from History of the World, Part I.
No no no no no no yes, No no no no no no yes, No no no no no no no no no no no no yes, No no no no no no no no no no no no YES!

I was thinking the same thing!

2011-12-05 Reply Admin

I like the new Ford NULL

method1 · 2011-12-07 Reply Admin

Larry:
This fundamental, congenital inability to communicate is why girls are TRWTF.

Only if they think they are more attractive than you. If they think the reverse is true, they'll be all over you in the most obvious way possible. A lot of young women have 'issues' with communicating their desires that are generally solved by the the application of some alcohol and/or drugs.

Coyne · 2011-12-08 Reply Admin

"So which version of, 'No', don't you understand?"

2011-12-11 Reply Admin

Gee gee gee gee gee

2011-12-28 Reply Admin

Me too, and I found a specific collection of them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTAt2hI_kg

(and I'm now adding more text to try to make this comment less spammy, for the filter)

2012-04-18 Reply Admin

I thought I recognised the Astron Belt thing. Then I realised I took exactly the same photo in September 2011.

[image]

They really need to fix that.

No, NO, No, NO, No

Leave a comment on “No, NO, No, NO, No”