• James R. Twine (unregistered)

    Time to leave...

    Counting pencils is a sure sign of impending DOOM!

    -=- James.

  • (cs) in reply to James R. Twine
    James R. Twine:
    Time to leave...

    Counting pencils is a sure sign of impending DOOM!

    -=- James.

    When I first started at Bear Stearns (15 years ago), they gave you a paper bag with 50 paper clips, and told you to make it last because the company would not waste money on such things.

    They tossed billions, and finally the company itself on foolish mortgages, but the brass made money on that!

  • acsi (unregistered)

    TRWTF:

    From: Cole, William

    Regards,

    Bill

  • acsi (unregistered)

    And 1 second after clicking "submit" I realize that Cole was NOT his first name. Guess who feels stupid now..

  • (cs) in reply to acsi
    acsi:
    And 1 second after clicking "submit" I realize that Cole was NOT his first name. Guess who feels stupid now..
    It's Monday - you get a pass; this time ;)
  • Matt S (unregistered)

    First gas, now office supplies. Our economy really IS dwindling, isn't it?

    captcha: damnum

  • (cs)

    William Cole has been touchy about these things ever since he got caught stealing those thimbles.

    http://www.hrionline.ac.uk/luceneweb/hri3/display_20050804.jsp?mode=bailey&file=html_units%2F1830s%2Ft18300415-320.html&hil=content:(idiot)

  • R (unregistered)

    Did you work for Lehman Brothers by any chance? If you'd just returned your pencil you bastard....

  • Milton (unregistered) in reply to James R. Twine

    Did they get a choice on the brand of stapler?

  • (cs)
  • (cs)

    At a previous employer, our supply closet was locked at all times and if you wanted a single pen, you had to request the key and then had to literally, sign-out what you took from the closet.

    Sounds like a huge WTF of micro-management until you realize that the local pastime was office supply theft.

  • declinator (unregistered)

    I would suppose that the real issue is not the ton of office supplies hidden in murky corners of the office but the one in decentralized warehousing at the various employees' homes...

  • Zap Brannigan (unregistered) in reply to Milton

    We went through something similar. Not so much for cost savings. We went through 5S phase. We were all supposed to have the same supplies and arrange them in the same place. One or two clowns actually had tape outlines and labeled everything on their desk. I got dunned for having too many pennies in my drawer.

  • (cs)

    am i the only one thinking that is a huge amount of stationary? i currently have 2 (two) pens and a plain white notepad on my desk .. that is all.

  • dag (unregistered)
    * Pencils (3??)
    The double question marks here indicate that there must have been a meeting that went something like this:

    Bill: Right, on to pencils, I think we can all agree that one pencil is quite enough for anyone. (discontented rumblings and coughings from around the table) Charles: Actually, I have five, and I use them all, two each on my desk, and in my laptop bag, and one spare. You know, you can never find a sharpener when you need one. ("hear, hear", say the mumblers) Bill: FIVE???!?!?!? No way! I buy your comment about sharpeners, so I'm putting it up to two. David: Now really, Bill, limiting pencils to two is a recipe for disaster. Personally, I have three, one in use, one spare, and one for emergencies. I really couldn't get by with a mere two pencils. ("hear, hear") Brian: No, I really must put my foot down, two pencils should be quite enough. David: Then you offer me no choice but to resign. Charles: Me, too. Two pencils indeed! (the amassed throng): Yes! We resign too! Brian: OK, OK, no one need resign, I'll put down 3, but you'll all have to share dry wipe markers.

  • Crabs (unregistered) in reply to dysmas
    am i the only one thinking that is a huge amount of stationary? i currently have 2 (two) pens and a plain white notepad on my desk .. that is all.
    Depends on what you're doing in the office. If your a programmer, this is probably a bit much. If you're doing sales over the phone, this is probably about par.
  • dag (unregistered)

    The other reason for having three pencils might be to do with the "Constipated Mathematician" joke.

  • umbrage (unregistered)

    Oh, just do away with the employer supplied office supplies. Give each person their own personal budget and let them buy what they want. :)

  • (cs)

    Dear all,

    We spend a lot of money each year on managers - a lot of this is unnecessary expenditure as they spend their time micromanaging employees to no measurable savings.

    Please check the office for any unused managers and dispose of them in some appropriate way. This exercise should also help to tidy up the offices which are starting to look trashy in some areas.

    Hoping I will get you co-operation in this

    Regards,

    gabba

  • tsr (unregistered) in reply to dysmas

    I freely admit to having 6 postit pads on my desk right now. But every one of them was a freebie from a supplier. Did I waste the Company money? (Oh wait, I work in acedemia, who cares.)

    Seriously though, I've been known to accidently take a pen home every so often? I typically bring back a rough equivelant anyway (my forgetfullness goes both ways.)

  • ping floyd (unregistered) in reply to dysmas
    dysmas:
    am i the only one thinking that is a huge amount of stationary? i currently have 2 (two) pens and a plain white notepad on my desk .. that is all.

    I've got one notepad and one pen. Rarely use them, though, cause I can't even read my own handwriting. :-) I use the computer for everything!

  • neveralull (unregistered)

    I once had a dept. manager who insisted that no one could have their own stapler. To staple papers, you had to take your papers to his secretary and staple them in her office. This took several minutes, easily the cost of a stapler in my time.

  • (cs) in reply to dysmas
    dysmas:
    am i the only one thinking that is a huge amount of stationary? i currently have 2 (two) pens and a plain white notepad on my desk .. that is all.
    my desk tidy currently holds 2 highlighters, 11 pens of various colours, a pair of scissors, salad dressing, 2 types of soy sauce, wasabi powder, a nail file and a straw. i'm too terrified to open my pedestal but i know there's a ruler, a stapler, post-its, some cereal and a can of soup in there somewhere... bring on the apocalypse.
  • Just Some Guy (unregistered)

    I bring my own pens because I hate the cheap generic office version. But beyond that, say I blow through $100 in mis-used office supplies. That's a few hours of my pay. Given that I work on the order of 2,000 hours a year, I'd rate this somewhere between "petty" and "utterly pointless".

    To repeat others: if your office is counting pencils, polish your resume. You'll be needing it soon.

  • aaawww (unregistered)

    management always come out with curious ways to enanche roi. note that in roi goes only live expenditure, so they happily waste 1 hr of programmer time at week saving 10$ of supplies. of curse 1hr of my time is worth 30$ (gross), but in balance term I'm a fixed expenditure so won't come in play during cash flow balancing.

  • (cs) in reply to James R. Twine
    James R. Twine:
    Time to leave...

    Counting pencils is a sure sign of impending DOOM!

    -=- James.

    I think you hit the nail right on the head there.

  • (cs)

    I have a pencil, a number of pens all of which were gifts from vendors (Graft! Corruption!), a yellow highlighter which may have been used twice, and a fairly new black marker because the previous one finally died (dried, actually) of old age.

    Oh, and there's a fancy-schmancy big ol' naugahide-cornered notepad. The little monthly calendars on it run from January 2002 through December 2003. It still has several blank pages left before its usefulness is at an end.

    But, hey... the corners are made from real naugas.

  • Matt (unregistered)

    Bit surprised nobody's asked this yet...

    I wonder what the exchange rate is. If I give up all my pencils and sharpeners, as well as the paperclips and tipex, can I have an A4 ring binder?

  • darren (unregistered)

    You know, the tone of that e-mail is very much that of an Office Supply Commandant.

    That said, I do wonder how many of you have ever been high enough up in management to realize what a huge expense basic office supplies (toner, pens, paper, etc.) really are. It is a reasonable thing for management to remind folks of that sometimes, and to encourage people to return unused supplies.

    One place I work went about this by having an annual "cleaning day" -- you were allowed to spend the whole day cleaning your work area. Bins were provided for trash and recycling (and secure destruction), and places to return unused office supplies, and a "swap table" for furnishings. If you had anything that was just clutter, you could toss it or put it out to be re-used.

    Saved them much more than it cost in the lost day of productivity!

  • Bill Lumbergh (unregistered) in reply to snoofle

    Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!

  • Bill Lumbergh (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    acsi:
    And 1 second after clicking "submit" I realize that Cole was NOT his first name. Guess who feels stupid now..
    It's Monday - you get a pass; this time ;)

    Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!

  • biziclop (unregistered) in reply to darren
    darren:
    You know, the tone of that e-mail is very much that of an Office Supply Commandant.

    That said, I do wonder how many of you have ever been high enough up in management to realize what a huge expense basic office supplies (toner, pens, paper, etc.) really are. It is a reasonable thing for management to remind folks of that sometimes, and to encourage people to return unused supplies.

    One place I work went about this by having an annual "cleaning day" -- you were allowed to spend the whole day cleaning your work area. Bins were provided for trash and recycling (and secure destruction), and places to return unused office supplies, and a "swap table" for furnishings. If you had anything that was just clutter, you could toss it or put it out to be re-used.

    Saved them much more than it cost in the lost day of productivity!

    That's just common sense. Plus it must have been fun, so it's good for morale either.

    On the other hand, accusing your employees with stealing stationery is not. Even, and I have to stress this, if some of them do steal stationery and it costs a lot.

  • Steve (unregistered)

    Time to (a) dust off the old résumé and (b) find the nearest unemployment office.

    Eeek!

  • Me (unregistered) in reply to declinator
    I would suppose that the real issue is not the ton of office supplies hidden in murky corners of the office but the one in decentralized warehousing at the various employees' homes...

    It's part of the disaster recovery plan. If the building were to burn down, there would be no need to replace office supplies, as they are located in distributed off-site locations.

  • Mainic Mailman (unregistered) in reply to dag
    dag:
    The other reason for having three pencils might be to do with the "Constipated Mathematician" joke.
    I can't believe I had never heard that one before. I was worried my webfilter might prevent me from reading it; good thing it wasn't blocked.

    Thanks for the pointer!

  • Bejesus (unregistered)

    Dear Bill,

    Which costs the company more? Stationary or hundreds of employees reading your globally emailed brain farts?

    Kindly go forth and fornicate.

    Regards

    Me

  • KäseMeister (unregistered) in reply to dag
    dag:
    Bill: Right, on to pencils, I think we can all agree that one pencil is quite enough for anyone. (discontented rumblings and coughings from around the table)
    ...
    dag:
    Brian: OK, OK, no one need resign, I'll put down 3, but you'll all have to share dry wipe markers.
    Bill: Er... who the hell is Brian? I'm in charge here. Now get off my folders.
  • Ryan (unregistered)

    At one of my previous jobs it took me over a year to finally get my own stapler - despite filling out the appropriate request form every month when they bought office supplies.

    I finally got one, after I refused to stable anything - instead doing the whole tear and fold the corners thing. People hate that.

    Of course, this is the same employer that required we spend 8 hours sitting at our desk, and counted our lunch time and bathroom breaks. When I was "let go" they told me exactly how many minutes I spent in the bathroom over the course of the year.

  • (cs) in reply to acsi
    acsi:
    TRWTF:
    From: Cole, William

    Regards,

    Bill

    acsi:
    And 1 second after clicking "submit" I realize that Cole was NOT his first name. Guess who feels stupid now..
     * Comments based on misinterpretation but quickly caught (1)
    Looks like it's your lucky day. Don't let it happen again. :)

  • Sue D. Nymme (unregistered)

    Plastic....wallets?

  • vp (unregistered) in reply to darren

    I agree that it can save a lot going through and inventory the crap load of office supply from the cube once in a while. At the same time limiting the pens to two is not a good idea in the open door cube environment since there are many times "Accidents" happen when someone will end up taking your pen. Also, the thrill of having more than you can keep promotes more waste.

  • (cs)

    Rubber bands (20)

    Imagine if your position in that joke of a company involves receiving parcels. You will have to destroy the rubber bands that come with the incoming parcels to make sure you don't exceed the limit.

    Run forest run

  • hehe (unregistered) in reply to Ryan
    Ryan:
    At one of my previous jobs it took me over a year to finally get my own stapler - despite filling out the appropriate request form every month when they bought office supplies.
    You know you can buy one for under $5 and any local store?
    Ryan:
    Of course, this is the same employer that required we spend 8 hours sitting at our desk, and counted our lunch time and bathroom breaks. When I was "let go" they told me exactly how many minutes I spent in the bathroom over the course of the year.
    Was it more or less then the amount of time you spent reading thedailywtf? Code more, poop less! ;-p
  • Mikoangelo (unregistered) in reply to vp
    vp:
    [T]he thrill of having more than you can keep promotes more waste.

    You must be really, really bored at work.

  • Gamma (unregistered) in reply to Sue D. Nymme
    Sue D. Nymme:
    Plastic....wallets?

    Yeah, what are they, and why don't I have any?

  • (cs) in reply to hehe
    hehe:
    Ryan:
    At one of my previous jobs it took me over a year to finally get my own stapler - despite filling out the appropriate request form every month when they bought office supplies.
    You know you can buy one for under $5 and any local store?
    Until the company starts buying stuff for me to use in my personal life at home, I don't see myself buying resources for the company to be used at the office.
    hehe:
    Ryan:
    Of course, this is the same employer that required we spend 8 hours sitting at our desk, and counted our lunch time and bathroom breaks. When I was "let go" they told me exactly how many minutes I spent in the bathroom over the course of the year.
    Was it more or less then the amount of time you spent reading thedailywtf? Code more, poop less! ;-p
    We are on-call 7x24, so if I spend 8 hours a day reading TDWTF at work, and then work 10 hours through the night, I figure the company comes out ahead, and I won't take any crap about it.
  • Andrew (unregistered) in reply to Gamma
    Gamma:
    Sue D. Nymme:
    Plastic....wallets?

    Yeah, what are they, and why don't I have any?

    How much was in those 10 plastic wallets per employee? That's where here the money is.

  • (cs) in reply to acsi

    I wouldn't say this to be TRWTF. Company directory listings commonly have an employees full name and employees often sign off on their messages on what they go by

    Bill = William

  • LEGO (unregistered) in reply to acsi
    acsi:
    And 1 second after clicking "submit" I realize that Cole was NOT his first name. Guess who feels stupid now..

    That is known in the business as one ohnosecond. ;-)

    -Lego

  • G Mo' (unregistered) in reply to A Nonny Mouse
    A Nonny Mouse:
    dysmas:
    am i the only one thinking that is a huge amount of stationary? i currently have 2 (two) pens and a plain white notepad on my desk .. that is all.
    my desk tidy currently holds 2 highlighters, 11 pens of various colours, a pair of scissors, salad dressing, 2 types of soy sauce, wasabi powder, a nail file and a straw. i'm too terrified to open my pedestal but i know there's a ruler, a stapler, post-its, some cereal and a can of soup in there somewhere... bring on the apocalypse.

    Dude ... not just food ... but dressings and sauces? You're using your desk to prepare your lunch AND to file your nails?

    Gross, dude.

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