• captain obvious (unregistered) in reply to acsi

    1. who gives a fuck

    2. bill is a shortened form of william, Bill Gates for example

    3. I'm probably not the first to point this out in which case, refer to (1)

  • captain obvious (unregistered) in reply to acsi
    acsi:
    TRWTF:
    From: Cole, William

    Regards,

    Bill

    The post I was referring to in my last post.

  • BRB (unregistered)

    I'm not really feeling this WTF. I know how frustrating it is when employers get stupid about trivialities like stationary, but I didn't feel that "Bill" was being a jerk about it or trying to be a stationary Nazi. If anything, I got the impression from the e-mail that Bill was feeling a little sheepish about having to establish the "amnesty" in the first place.

    Further more, it is a legitimate problem. I am a coder through and through - I do not need or use stationary. However, looking over my desk right now I can see a hole punch, stapler, stack of spare staples, six pens (one red, one blue and one black ballpoint plus one red, one blue and one black fineliner), two pencils (regular and retractable), two rubbers, a highlighter pen, two different sizes of paper clip, Pritt Stick glue, scissors, bulldog clips and an assortment of treasury tags. All this for a guy that never uses any of it, ever. The only reason I've got it is because it makes me look a little more professional to have a bunch of stationary and an open notebook on my desk (well, it does!).

    And you have to consider this in light of the fact that personally, I am not a kleptomaniac. I have all this unnecessary stationary but at least I only have one of most things. Many people, especially disaffected office workers, become utter kleptomaniacs and stuff their drawers full of every bit of crap they can lay their hands on. Most of this crap tends to be stationary.

    So I feel the pain of all you abused office workers out there but I don't really feel that this particular incident is WTF worthy. A proper stationary Nazi is one thing (I've worked with them before) but I don't think Bill counts.

  • MadJo@Work (unregistered) in reply to captain obvious
    captain obvious:
    acsi:
    TRWTF:
    From: Cole, William

    Regards,

    Bill

    The post I was referring to in my last post.
    Captain Slow'n'Blind, I pressume? (read the post right below that one you just quoted)

    Slightly on topic. 3 pencils? Do they have any idea what a joker could do with just one of those?

  • Mikkel (unregistered) in reply to BRB

    I got 4 white board makers, 3 pens (1 I actually use), a highlighter and a pencil.

    Now the reason for me having 4 white board markers is not that I got a white board, but the diagrams I use for my databases are printed on high gloss paper, and I found I can use them to make notes on the paper and still be able to wipe it off.

    Pen and paper is by far my choice for programming, the actual punching in on a machine is just the last step, a proper program is designed from bottom up - now you can do this on a computer, but personally I prefer a media where it supports my flow of thoughts rather than limiting them.

  • (cs) in reply to MadJo@Work
    MadJo@Work:
    Slightly on topic. 3 pencils? Do they have any idea what a joker could do with just one of those?

    It would be magical!

  • (cs) in reply to matt lohkamp
    matt lohkamp:
    "Pencils (3??)"

    I wonder if the double question mark denotes incredulity or lack of confidence?

    Neither. It's a regular expression. You can have 3 pencils, or 33 pencils, or 333 pencils, etc.

    There's two questions marks because Bill's a manager, and not a regex weaver. Two questions marks is, like, backup redundancy to synergize the matching.

  • Stephen (unregistered) in reply to James R. Twine

    time to leave...

    Counting pencils is a sure sign of impending DOOM!

    No WTF here.. at all. Do a good one or dont post em.

  • Adam (unregistered)

    I love working for the state.

    "What the hell is the matter with you, dude? Why did you only take 3 pencils? You know that if you don't take at least 10, They will stop ordering them and They will think we don't need pencils at all. You're ruining this for the rest of us, Adam! Take some more goddamned pencils!"

  • tragomaskhalos (unregistered)
    * A4 ring binders (none)
    vs
    This exercise should also help to tidy up the offices which are starting to look trashy in some areas.
    Management cluelessness right there; deny people ring binders and their desks clutter up with huge drifts of paper (like mine for instance).
  • vereor (unregistered) in reply to Asiago Chow
    Asiago Chow:
    I cited the floppy policy as a reason when I quit.
    Masterbation at work never goes well.
  • Adam (unregistered) in reply to dag

    The real WTF is that Bill's name changed to Brian during the course of this conversation.

  • DBA (unregistered) in reply to WarlordShea
    WarlordShea:
    William,

    We have fifty projects currently on schedule, Two Production systems down, and a miriade of users asking for stuff, and you bother us with this BS. Check your office mail please find the envelope marked DBA's there's $ 100.00 go buy pencils, knock yourself out you twit. Leave use alone!!!!!

  • (cs) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    we do our documentation in the code.
    *groan*

    I'm sure this is really helpful to the end users.

  • Asiago Chow (unregistered) in reply to Carnildo
    Carnildo:
    Asiago Chow:
    She had worked for years using only two floppies (one for her files, and a second as backup), so clearly they were being stolen!

    I call shenanigans! Nobody who isn't in IT makes backups.

    Bookkeepers have always understood the value of keeping two sets of books.

  • Group29 (unregistered)

    Obviously there must not be many layoffs in that company. Whenever we have one, it is like a Greek funeral, everyone plunders the desk of the deceased for office supplies. There is always stuff left over that goes back into the supply cabinet. We even have yearly office supply fairs where you can trade and sometimes pick up useful stuff. (I am not sure what I am going to do with the 8 inch diskette box I just grabbed though.)

  • (cs) in reply to Aaron
    Aaron:
    Code Dependent:
    we do our documentation in the code.
    *groan*

    I'm sure this is really helpful to the end users.

    The end users get training classes with instructors. Don't yours?

    We have project managers who oversee all that, and trainers who I'm sure are capable of making flyers, handouts, illustrations on the whiteboard, and PowerPoint presentations as needed. Not my job. Is it yours?

  • DrveD (unregistered) in reply to Paper waster
    Paper waster:
    The office manager actually makes a big deal and will try to track the culprit down when he finds paper only printed on one side in the recycle bin.

    I recognize that its important to watch your costs... but c'mon...

    Being somewhat in-charge of office logistics, I order supplies, contact the garbage company, and arranged for a shredding service.

    I found that it is cheaper to put all paper into the shred bin, rather than the garbage (don't ask, we don't have a recyle bin). The shred company picks up twice a month at half the cost of the garbage company.

    It really gets cheaper when we have the paper fall directly from the fax machines into the shred bin...

  • (cs) in reply to more randomer than you
    more randomer than you:
    snoofle:
    hehe:
    Ryan:
    At one of my previous jobs it took me over a year to finally get my own stapler - despite filling out the appropriate request form every month when they bought office supplies.
    You know you can buy one for under $5 and any local store?
    Until the company starts buying stuff for me to use in my personal life at home, I don't see myself buying resources for the company to be used at the office.

    Once again you show yourself to be one of those elitists who feels that the only way to win is to be in direct competition with your own employer. Try working with them, put in some extra effort and see it rewarded.

    Or maybe I tried doing that for the first 25 years of my career before finally recognizing that SOME management policies are a) stupid, b) unavoidable, and c) inevitable, and have learned that in SOME cases, your effort will never be recognized or rewarded. The trick is to nklow which is which, and not jump to conclusions!

    Also, sometimes it's not a matter of winning, just degrees of losing. In those cases, the only way to win is not to play the game.

    Context is everything.

  • TomatoQueen (unregistered) in reply to BRB
    BRB:
    I'm not really feeling this WTF. I know how frustrating it is when employers get stupid about trivialities like stationary, but I didn't feel that "Bill" was being a jerk about it or trying to be a stationary Nazi. If anything, I got the impression from the e-mail that Bill was feeling a little sheepish about having to establish the "amnesty" in the first place.

    Further more, it is a legitimate problem. I am a coder through and through - I do not need or use stationary. However, looking over my desk right now I can see a hole punch, stapler, stack of spare staples, six pens (one red, one blue and one black ballpoint plus one red, one blue and one black fineliner), two pencils (regular and retractable), two rubbers, a highlighter pen, two different sizes of paper clip, Pritt Stick glue, scissors, bulldog clips and an assortment of treasury tags. All this for a guy that never uses any of it, ever. The only reason I've got it is because it makes me look a little more professional to have a bunch of stationary and an open notebook on my desk (well, it does!).

    And you have to consider this in light of the fact that personally, I am not a kleptomaniac. I have all this unnecessary stationary but at least I only have one of most things. Many people, especially disaffected office workers, become utter kleptomaniacs and stuff their drawers full of every bit of crap they can lay their hands on. Most of this crap tends to be stationary.

    So I feel the pain of all you abused office workers out there but I don't really feel that this particular incident is WTF worthy. A proper stationary Nazi is one thing (I've worked with them before) but I don't think Bill counts.

    Anyone? anyone at all? No?

    Okay.

    Stationery, ffs.

  • callgirl (unregistered)

    I can do you all one better. I work in an outsourced call centre. The client used to hand out pens to the agents taking calls as cheesy reward incentives. However, they now have a policy (for security reasons) that disallows any pens or papers anywhere. They've brought it to the extent that you're not even allowed to have kleenex on your desk just in case anyone writes down sensitive information to take home. I've had to jot down my number on several occasions (because the company's too cheap to get me business cards) and I just grab a piece of paper towel (readily available all over the centre).

  • Tobermory (unregistered) in reply to dag
    dag:
    Admittedly, the typing error that changes enhance to enanche has involved the h traveling more than the customary single character right-or-left, but to suggest that this indicates that aaawww has a low proficiency in English, does seem a bit rude.

    Anyway, surely you can't have missed all of those "Oxford Study" eimals taht siad taht it olny mtatres taht the frist and lsat ltteers are in the rghit pcale.

    Meh - I'm still not clever enough to get into Oxford. Sorry fellas.. I'll live with it and just add my tuppence to this monster comments section:

    After receiving a mass email from a fart-catcher elsewhere in the building detailing the stationary inventory of the basement and how many inches space were wasted through not pushing things to the back of the shelves, I decided to take matters into my own hands. This from a large organisation that I've seen, 'In September 2006 it was reported that the xxxx project was facing a half-year overspend of over £40 million." Hey kids! I just found 35 grand right here!

    Now I spend 6 staples, 10-pence of glue and 4 sticky labels making my own recycled notepads out of the tonnes of wasted printouts that flood the office. Bout 3 times a year, 75p. Cheap on the environment, doesn't use a square inch of their space and yet mysteriously costs them an hour of my time. Bonus for us left-handers: I get to make em with the bindings on the right for a change. Captcha: Consequat.

  • (cs) in reply to dysmas
    dysmas:
    am i the only one thinking that is a huge amount of stationary? i currently have 2 (two) pens and a plain white notepad on my desk .. that is all.
    Yes, probably. Do you expect them to move around on their own?

    sas

  • ron (unregistered)

    Evil IT Resources page http://resursi.wordpress.com (IT management in Eastern Europe, HR, politics and other things)

  • Paolo G (unregistered)

    Yeah, Tipp-Ex is a brand of correction fluid. It's handy for correcting written errors, but doesn't work very well computer screens for correcting things like "Tipex". ;P

  • BRB (unregistered) in reply to TomatoQueen
    TomatoQueen:
    Anyone? anyone at all? No?

    Okay.

    Stationery, ffs.

    WTF are you talking about Queen? It's all stationary because none of it is moving. Check a dictionary before flaming FFS.

  • RobM (unregistered) in reply to darren

    You were "allowed" to clean your office area on this day?

    Does that mean they didn't have cleaners at other times? That you weren't allowed to clean up at other times? Gosh, so much of the stuff here sounds like something that got cut out of the Office Space script as too unrealistic.

  • fube (unregistered)

    Working for a government contractor --- allowed a single pad of paper, you had to turn in the last part to get a new one. Two pens, turn them in for replacements. Presuming, of course, that you were at the admin's desk the precise moment the monthly supply box appeared. OTOH, all the punch cards you could eat (this WAS the 80's after all)

    CAPTCHA -- letatio, maybe that is Phil's cousin?

  • lrucker (unregistered) in reply to Carnildo
    Carnildo:
    Asiago Chow:
    She had worked for years using only two floppies (one for her files, and a second as backup), so clearly they were being stolen!

    I call shenanigans! Nobody who isn't in IT makes backups.

    Note that she used two floppies - what do you want to bet that this week's working disk was last week's backup? And then when she's lost something from several months ago, you know she's going to throw a fit that it can't be recovered.

  • (cs) in reply to Just Some Guy
    Just Some Guy:
    I bring my own pens because I hate the cheap generic office version.

    Pens have a nagging tendency to "disappear" in office environments. That's why I no longer bring my own, but will reuse any unattended pens sitting around on desks near my own, giving them at least a temporary good home until they too disappear or get adopted by coworkers.

  • (cs) in reply to A Gould
    A Gould:
    DoctorFriday:
    Sounds like a huge WTF of micro-management until you realize that the local pastime was office supply theft.

    I always treat office supply theft as a symptom of poor working conditions - if workers are happy, they don't feel the need to steal something as petty as staplers.

    Correct. I've no problem with taking a pencil or writing pad home, but I've also no problem with taking similar items from home to use at the office. In the end if evens out (or more likely I bring in more than I take out). I think the same is true for most people, yet the beancounters only see that we take a pencil home once a year and call us thieves, the never see that in that year we used up 5 pencils we bought ourselves and had 5 more we bought ourselves disappear from our desks under mysterious circumstances.

  • (cs) in reply to fube
    fube:
    Working for a government contractor --- allowed a single pad of paper, you had to turn in the last part to get a new one. Two pens, turn them in for replacements.

    Sounds familiar. As a result people (especially contractors) start buying their own supplies and billing them to the company as "misc. gen. op. exp." at 10 times the actual cost.

  • (cs) in reply to Amy Nonhouse
    Amy Nonhouse:
    Vlad P:
    Imagine the same kind of hassle in the USSR.
    In Soviet Russia, pencils have limited supplies of you.
    Luckily, in Soviet Russia, it's commutative.

    Perhaps I can swap a pencil for another one of me? I'll pay top rouble, on the black market, of course. Just don't let that nasty Mr Lysenko anywhere near me.

  • Wrathernaut (unregistered)

    Dear Manager,

    After searching for three hours, I was able to find 12 paperclips, 3 pens, and 4 pencils. The retail value of which, comes to approximately $0.96.

    After calculating my humble hourly wage (80,000/yr / 2080hrs = About $20), I hope most were much more successful than I.

  • Matt (unregistered) in reply to dag

    LMAO....!

  • Matt (unregistered) in reply to dag
    dag:
    * Pencils (3??)
    The double question marks here indicate that there must have been a meeting that went something like this:

    Bill: Right, on to pencils, I think we can all agree that one pencil is quite enough for anyone. (discontented rumblings and coughings from around the table) Charles: Actually, I have five, and I use them all, two each on my desk, and in my laptop bag, and one spare. You know, you can never find a sharpener when you need one. ("hear, hear", say the mumblers) Bill: FIVE???!?!?!? No way! I buy your comment about sharpeners, so I'm putting it up to two. David: Now really, Bill, limiting pencils to two is a recipe for disaster. Personally, I have three, one in use, one spare, and one for emergencies. I really couldn't get by with a mere two pencils. ("hear, hear") Brian: No, I really must put my foot down, two pencils should be quite enough. David: Then you offer me no choice but to resign. Charles: Me, too. Two pencils indeed! (the amassed throng): Yes! We resign too! Brian: OK, OK, no one need resign, I'll put down 3, but you'll all have to share dry wipe markers.

    LMAO....! !

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