• David (unregistered)

    he should put "PHP" under "Others" along with Winrar and winzip...

  • Richard (unregistered) in reply to mkb

    My copy of Visual C is on 5 1/4 floppies.  I would have to dust off a old drive to install it. 

  • A passing scholar (unregistered) in reply to Richard Nixon
    Richard Nixon:
    Anonymous:
    he got a "2:2" (I have no idea what that means or what the colon signifies, perhaps a typo and he got a 2.2?)

    Standard grading system for degrees in the UK.  The top grade is 1, followed by 2:1, 2:2, 3, and finally "pass", which means "fail".*

    If you're wondering how such a silly system ever came to be, it's quite simple.  The grades originally ran from 1 to 4.  Then 4 was dropped because it was worthless, and since 2 was the commonest grade, it was divided into upper and lower classes to get a better grade spread.  Most employers look for a 1 or 2:1 when hiring graduates.

    * There are a few other grades, like "aegrot", which means you would probably have passed if you hadn't been too sick to take the exam.  But that's rarely awarded nowadays.
  • travis (unregistered) in reply to A passing scholar

    Anonymous:
    Richard Nixon:
    Anonymous:
    he got a "2:2" (I have no idea what that means or what the colon signifies, perhaps a typo and he got a 2.2?)

    Standard grading system for degrees in the UK.  The top grade is 1, followed by 2:1, 2:2, 3, and finally "pass", which means "fail".*

    If you're wondering how such a silly system ever came to be, it's quite simple.  The grades originally ran from 1 to 4.  Then 4 was dropped because it was worthless, and since 2 was the commonest grade, it was divided into upper and lower classes to get a better grade spread.  Most employers look for a 1 or 2:1 when hiring graduates.

    * There are a few other grades, like "aegrot", which means you would probably have passed if you hadn't been too sick to take the exam.  But that's rarely awarded nowadays.

    Weird...but interesting

  • (cs)

    When I saw average I was hopeful that perhaps this is a resume I could applaud because it isn't trying to overstate their abilities.   Average applies to most programmer's abilities (compared to their peers, Paula of PaulaBean fame is well above average compared to the common person), and I like honestly.

    Sadly the rest of the resume proves this is not the case.   This person really is average, compared to the average person on the street.

  • (cs)

    Man!   That dude is perfect for a position as an average web-surfer.  They are in great demand in the hi-tech world.  I hope he doesn't spark another bidding war.

  • (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:

    This is an area where I really like Perl's idiomatic use of 'or'...

    thing.works() or complain("thing not working!");

    ... It is a very clear way to program when you have grown accustomed to it.  The leftmost statements also comprise the normal program flow and the the right side of compound statement provide handling for "exceptional" conditions.


    However, if you want to emphasize the "might have a problem" aspect (e.g. you've got a block of such checks), then you can turn them around:

    complain("reason1") if expression1;
    complain("reason2") if expression2;
    complain("reason3") unless expression3;

  • (cs) in reply to A passing scholar
    Anonymous:
    The grades originally ran from 1 to 4.  Then 4 was dropped because it was worthless, and since 2 was the commonest grade, it was divided into upper and lower classes to get a better grade spread.


    ROTFL :-) :-) :-)

    3 - the new 4.
    2:2 - the new 3.
    2:1 - the new 2.

    Reminds me of all the fast food places around here that sell three sizes of soft drink cups... medium, large, and super-size.
  • djinn (unregistered)

    Don't forget this classic. :)

    http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/pictures/i_know_chmod.jpg

  • (cs) in reply to A passing scholar

    Anonymous:
    Standard grading system for degrees in the UK.  The top grade is 1, followed by 2:1, 2:2, 3, and finally "pass", which means "fail".*

    If you're wondering how such a silly system ever came to be, it's quite simple.  The grades originally ran from 1 to 4.  Then 4 was dropped because it was worthless, and since 2 was the commonest grade, it was divided into upper and lower classes to get a better grade spread.  Most employers look for a 1 or 2:1 when hiring graduates.

    * There are a few other grades, like "aegrot", which means you would probably have passed if you hadn't been too sick to take the exam.  But that's rarely awarded nowadays.

    The standard grading system in the U.S. used to be "A=exceptional, B=above average, C=average, D=barely pass, F=did you even attend a class?".

    Then "they" decided that these grades were somehow damaging kids' self-esteem, which is *bad*, so now we have a numeric system of 1-4.

    Which, of course, translates as, "4=exceptional, 3=above average, 2=average, 1=barely pass, 0=you didn't even attend a class".

    Sometimes we make me sick.

  • Jonn (unregistered) in reply to RevMike

    Also with Perl:

    complain("thing not working!") unless thing.works();

  • (cs) in reply to emurphy
    emurphy:
    RevMike:

    This is an area where I really like Perl's idiomatic use of 'or'...

    thing.works() or complain("thing not working!");

    ... It is a very clear way to program when you have grown accustomed to it.  The leftmost statements also comprise the normal program flow and the the right side of compound statement provide handling for "exceptional" conditions.


    However, if you want to emphasize the "might have a problem" aspect (e.g. you've got a block of such checks), then you can turn them around:

    complain("reason1") if expression1;
    complain("reason2") if expression2;
    complain("reason3") unless expression3;


    But certainly we have to give credit to Dijkstra for the innovation of the Come From statement.
    Example:
        10 J=1
        11 COME FROM 20
        12 WRITE (6,40) J STOP
        13 COME FROM 10         
        20 J=J+2
        40 FORMAT (14)

    Without that, none of this would have been possible!
    (See Also: http://www.cs.nyu.edu/kandathi/come_from.html)
  • fixedd (unregistered) in reply to richleick
  • someone (unregistered)

    Needless to say, this resume never made it passed the scan-and-trash filter.

    Neither will you. It's spelled "past".

  • vhawk (unregistered)

    If this is an average paying job, maybe this candidate is what you will end up with

  • Adriano (unregistered) in reply to richleick
    richleick:
    Spain?  Well that explains everything.  I don't speak spanish, but I can see how it would be easy to mis-translate some things.  Microsoft could easily be translated into a 2 word spanish name like Micro Soft.  Just like in English - US we say "The red dog", but in French (and I think Spanish as well) it actually translates to "the dog of red". Heck, even English - UK has a different version that goes "The bloody red dog is a wee pup". 


    Sorry, but that doesn't explain a thing. In (some?) latin-derived languages the adjective may be used after the noun, so "the red dog" becomes "el perro rojo" (sp) or "le chien rouge" (fr) or "il cane rosso" (it). They all read "the dog red" literally, but mean "the red dog". Note however that the phrase "este rojo perro" (this red dog) is valid in Spanish.

    However, all that doesn't mean we suddenly start dividing proper nouns into oblivion. Proper nouns, especially of corporations, aren't modified. Otherwise you English speakers should be calling Adobe "Mud", for example. Micro Soft? It'd be nice, and it is funny, but it's not Spanish, it's just sloppy writing.

    Morons are morons everywhere, even in Spain. It's not a matter of language.
  • (cs) in reply to Adriano

    And the fact that you can't speak English doesn't mean that you can't read. ;)

    That's something I don't understand about "average users". I mean, every single piece of software shows its name in the title bar, just read it, for god's sake!.

  • (cs) in reply to Stormy
    Anonymous:

    Ah the dotcom days... when idiots showed up to interviews in jeans and thought they were worth 100K.



    I go to interviews in Jeans. I don't see the point in dressing up, especially since I'd refuse to work somewhere that forced me into a dress code anyway. The only places that have raised an eyebrow are the places I wouldn't want to work.

    I can honestly say that after every interview I've ever had, if I've wanted the job then I've got it.

    Oh yeah, taking the exchange rate into account, I do earn 100K.

    The disclaimer is that I run my own software consulting business and hire myself out as a contractor. I've never had a permie job.
  • (cs)

    Alex Papadimoulis:
    stopped for a double-take on this Emule Kazza-qualified candidate...

    With the sun beatin' down,
    I swear I see
    That Emule, old Rivers, and me

  • Zidewinder (unregistered) in reply to dabocla
    dabocla:
    benvenista:

    He really knows how to trumpet his web design skills: http://some-ugly-as-hell-web-site-made-with-an-online-page-builder/

    Also... didn't he even misspell Kazzaa?

     



    I'm pretty sure there was a relevant site there, but that long name was substituted for posting purposes.  I would die laughing if I saw a website named that, though. 

    hah

    .jc

    Your wish is my command: http://some-ugly-as-hell-web-site-made-with-an-online-page-builder.ws
  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to eth0
    eth0:
    And the fact that you can't speak English doesn't mean that you can't read. ;) That's something I don't understand about "average users". I mean, every single piece of software shows its name in the title bar, just read it, for god's sake!.


    Presumably the application name would be in Spanish as well if the user has localized their computer to use Spanish.


  • (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:

    thing.works() or complain("thing not working!");


    Ruby lets you do the above, but also provides 'unless', which can sometimes make things clearer, though it should be used with care:

    complain("thing not working!") unless thing.works?

    I find it can be easy to miss the operation at the end of the line when reading the code, so I generally avoid this kind of construct.

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous:
    Presumably the application name would be in Spanish as well if the user has localized their computer to use Spanish.
    No, in 99% of the cases they're not. That remaining 1% is Notepad ("Bloc de notas" in Spanish), Solitaire ("Solitario"), Minesweeper ("Buscaminas") and a few others, but all the rest just keep their names in English, even Paint and WordPad.

    But that's not the point. It doesn't matter if the application name is in English, Spanish or whatever, it's just in front of you. You can copy it, character by character.

  • (cs) in reply to eth0

    Fine. This forum software doesn't like me. :-P

  • (cs)

    Alex Papadimoulis:
    ...effective use of the Internet.

    As opposed to ineffective.  Effective use of the internet is a highly desirable trait in potential employees.

  • (cs) in reply to richleick

    I have used this pattern as a container for comments, to explain why I am not doing something if the condition is false, or to specify that something else will be done automagically somewhere else:

    if (configFile.exists())
    {
       config.loadConfig(configFile);
    }
    else
    {
      // use default values defined as constants in the Config class
    }

    This can also be combined with logging:
    if (configFile.exists())
    {
       config.loadConfig(configFile);
    }
    else
    {
       log.Warn("Config file not found. Using default values defined in the Config class.");
    }

  • Arjan (unregistered) in reply to Maurits

    Maurits:
    *ahem* actually it's KaZaA

    Well, who's to blame? I never understood why companies would choose a name like this, that is: if one expects it to be spelled correctly.

    Like here in the Netherlands a new online payment method was introduced, called iDEAL. That's is not even a Dutch word; it should be interpreted as the English "I deal", like in "I am trading". First of all, not too many people know about that. But worse, newspapers and other sites keep referring to it as Ideal or iDeal. And the www.ideal.nl domain name had been registered since 1997 when some genius came up with that name (only very recently ING Bank finally acquired that domain name -- I wonder at what cost). Google likes the name, of course, as sponsorred links are required to make a search for "ideal" show up the official site of the payment method :-)

    Just another example: ABN AMRO, which has a space in its name but a dot in the logo, is by many people written with a dash: ABN-AMRO. I've even seen it written as ABN-Amro in PowerPoint sales presentations in which ABN AMRO was the customer-to-be...

    But I feel it is really a problem if people consider the correct spelling to be wrong. Some companies have an all-lowercase name, and do not even use capitals when their name is the first word in a sentence. That simply looks wrong to me. And the company I work for uses "iT" in its name, in which the lowercase "i" always makes me feel I've made a typo when actually using the correct capitalization -- making me wonder what customers think.

  • dennis (unregistered)

    i have had a resume for a web developer position list "htm" and "html"!
    needless to say that we hired him right there and then...

  • abC (unregistered) in reply to Arjan
    Anonymous:

    Maurits:
    *ahem* actually it's KaZaA

    Well, who's to blame? I never understood why companies would choose a name like this, that is: if one expects it to be spelled correctly.

    <snip>

    I think you're maybe just a bit too fixated on correct capitalization... :)

  • (cs) in reply to Nagoff
    Anonymous:
    I once interviewed a chap who's CV helpfully explained that the reason he only obtained a 2:2 for his CS degree was because he was stressed due to being charged with murder at the time.
    I made sure I took a colleague into that interview and again needless to say we didn't make any job offers that day...


    What's a CV?
    Also, I don't know anything about this candidate, but keep in mind that he was charged with murder and was not found guilty of murder. Even if he were found guilty, it is still possible that he was wrongfully charged.
    Of course it pays to be careful but an interviewer has to objective.
  • (cs) in reply to ferrengi

    A "CV" is a European resume. It stands for "Curriculum Vitae".

    Honestly, it's like those people have a different word for everything! ;)



  • erlando (unregistered) in reply to djinn
    Anonymous:
    Don't forget this classic. :)

    http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/pictures/i_know_chmod.jpg


    Ooooh.. He's got "Upload/Download"-skills too.. What a diamond in the rough...
  • (cs) in reply to richleick

    richleick:
    Mine too.  I actually had a boss who REQUIRED every IF statement to have a corresponding ELSE and no negative logic. 

    He probably heard this: Make the statement in the IF resolve to true in most cases, that will make for faster code. That is true, make your if statement such that it resolves the if more than the else.

    Except, managers pick these things up in conventions and such, from other managers, who may have overheard some employees. You manager remembers something, and forces it upon his people.

  • (cs) in reply to RevMike
    RevMike:
    richleick:

    Broads don't bother me as much as php and/or perl "programmers".  Now that's an oxymoron if there ever was one.  And then there's that whole AS400 thing.
     :-O


    Be careful on the perl front.  A lot of very good programmers use perl.  They also know when not to use perl.


    I never met any good perl programmer, as no one of them knew when not to use perl. I think there is 8, maybe 10 good perl programmers in the whole world and none of them lives in a country where I live.
  • (cs) in reply to scpoRIch
    scpoRIch:

    (e.g.: Micro Soft Visuals: Basics, C, C+, C#, C++, Java, Internet)."

    1. I think they usually have it as 1 word.
    2. Plural?
    3. I do not belive these were ever 'Visuals', as the resume puts it.
    4. Ah, I think this is from a different company...
    5. I was always under the impression that Al Gore invented the internet      ^o)


    Well, one could interpret "Micro Soft Visuals: Basic" as one entry in the list and the others completely separate from that.

    But the real kicker here, which you apparently didn't even notice, is "C+" - there is no such language!

    One could give him the benefit of the doubt and consider it a misspelling of C++, but since he lists that as well, it very much looks like he simply extrapolated the name from the others, and that the only thing he knows about some of those is probably their name.
  • (cs) in reply to marvin_rabbit
    marvin_rabbit:
    emurphy:
    RevMike:

    This is an area where I really like Perl's idiomatic use of 'or'...

    thing.works() or complain("thing not working!");

    ... It is a very clear way to program when you have grown accustomed to it.  The leftmost statements also comprise the normal program flow and the the right side of compound statement provide handling for "exceptional" conditions.


    However, if you want to emphasize the "might have a problem" aspect (e.g. you've got a block of such checks), then you can turn them around:

    complain("reason1") if expression1;
    complain("reason2") if expression2;
    complain("reason3") unless expression3;


    But certainly we have to give credit to Dijkstra for the innovation of the Come From statement.
    Example:
        10 J=1
        11 COME FROM 20
        12 WRITE (6,40) J STOP
        13 COME FROM 10         
        20 J=J+2
        40 FORMAT (14)

    Without that, none of this would have been possible!
    (See Also: http://www.cs.nyu.edu/kandathi/come_from.html)

    He must've been joking. As far as I can see it's just some kind of reversed GOTO. Actually it makes the code harder to read!

    Ah, good times. When there were no functions, the world was nice and simple, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri...
  • (cs)

    On the flip side of this (employment) issue, I am always caught laughing out loud when I read a classified job ad requesting the following skills:

    ASP, Sequel and Pearl knowledge....

  • (cs) in reply to scpoRIch

    I was working for Lucent Technologies during the dot-com days (actually, I proudly assert that I was an employee of Ascend Communications-acquired by Lucent) and we were selling ATM switches and Carrier-Class Communications equipment.

    I would make a point that Al Gore did in fact invent the Internet, with this simple evidence:

      All of the switching/routing equipment that carries data through the Internet is controlled by complex <FONT size=4>Al-Gore-ithms</FONT> !

  • (cs) in reply to Gene Wirchenko
    Gene Wirchenko:

    The examples, mercifully snipped, are crazy.  I admit that I have occasionally coded an if without a true:
    <font size="2">   if very complex expression that I want the negative of
       else
          do this
    </font>It is clearer than:
    <font size="2">   if !(very complex expression that I want the negative of)
          do this
    </font>if the expression has a lot of brackets.


    I usually try to do


    boolean subExpression1WithMeaningfulName = ...;
    boolean subExpression2WithMeaningfulName = ...;
    boolean expressionWithMeaningfulName = subExpression1WithMeaningfulName && subExpression2WithMeaningfulName;

    if (expressionWithMeaningfulName) ...

    That way negation doesn't look so bad.

  • (cs) in reply to creaothceann
    creaothceann:
    marvin_rabbit:

    But certainly we have to give credit to Dijkstra for the innovation of the Come From statement.

    Example:

        10 J=1

        11 COME FROM 20

        12 WRITE (6,40) J STOP

        13 COME FROM 10         

        20 J=J+2

        40 FORMAT (14)

    Without that, none of this would have been possible!

    (See Also: http://www.cs.nyu.edu/kandathi/come_from.html)


    He must've been joking. As far as I can see it's just some kind of reversed GOTO. Actually it makes the code harder to read!


    Ah, good times. When there were no functions, the world was nice and simple, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri...


    I actually read the referenced article (I can do this, right? this not being slashdot and all?) and you will find that the inventor of the COME FROM statement is one Lawrence Clark. I think you can be pretty sure that Mr. Clark is being sarcastic. Perhaps an attempt to stress how difficult GOTO-laden code can be to read.


    Dijkstra's part in all this is his famous "GOTO Statement Considered Harmful" letter in CACM.

  • (cs) in reply to java.lang.NullReferenceException
    java.lang.NullReferenceException:
    I actually read the referenced article (I can do this, right? this not being slashdot and all?) and you will find that the inventor of the COME FROM statement is one Lawrence Clark. I think you can be pretty sure that Mr. Clark is being sarcastic.

    I haven't heard the name before, and the text was too subtle for my sarcasm detector...
  • (cs) in reply to creaothceann

    That's is not even a Dutch word; it should be interpreted as the English "I deal", like in "I am trading". First of all, not too many people know about that. But worse, newspapers and other sites keep referring to it as Ideal or iDeal

    I interpreted the word as ideal which means "perfect" or "almost perfect".   If something is flawed or doesn't work very well, we it's "not ideal".  Another way it could be interpreted is iDeal, like iPod - similar to the 'e' prefix in a lot of online services.  Sounds like marketing people trying to be too clever for their own good.

  • (cs) in reply to johnl

    At least he didn't list Yahoo! Games as a skill.  He probably sees the language ASP and immediately thinks about how Harry Potter can speak to snakes.  Or so I'm told.

     

  • (cs) in reply to djinn

    lol! thats a beauty....

  • (cs) in reply to brazzy
    brazzy:
    scpoRIch:

    (e.g.: Micro Soft Visuals: Basics, C, C+, C#, C++, Java, Internet)."

    1. I think they usually have it as 1 word.
    2. Plural?
    3. I do not belive these were ever 'Visuals', as the resume puts it.
    4. Ah, I think this is from a different company...
    5. I was always under the impression that Al Gore invented the internet      ^o)


    Well, one could interpret "Micro Soft Visuals: Basic" as one entry in the list and the others completely separate from that.

    But the real kicker here, which you apparently didn't even notice, is "C+" - there is no such language!

    One could give him the benefit of the doubt and consider it a misspelling of C++, but since he lists that as well, it very much looks like he simply extrapolated the name from the others, and that the only thing he knows about some of those is probably their name.


    Suspicious person that I am, I am always skeptical of people who use words that have no specific definition to describe the amount of their experience.

    Myself I would say, "Four years of developer experience in Java and J2EE, primarily focused on applets and GUIs."

    I would never ever ever say, "Average Java knowledge". What the hell does that even mean? Average for who?

    I'd much rather someone take a look at my qualifications, realize I'm not qulified for the job, and pass me up, than get picked up for a job because someone thinks I can do something I can't resulting in stress and aggrivation for everyone involved.
  • (cs) in reply to dabocla
    dabocla:
    I'm pretty sure there was a relevant site there, but that long name was substituted for posting purposes.  I would die laughing if I saw a website named that, though.


    I am a beginner at this murder stuff and may not have it quite right, but try surfing over to http://www.allofthegoodnamesweretaken.com/

    Sincerely,

    Gene Wirchenko

  • (cs) in reply to BlackTigerX
    I guess the guy is pretty average...

    I've noticed that also, I'd like to point out that the term 'average' is not very positive sounding, to me it sounds like 'just good enough to make it work' which we all know as WTF code.
    Blacktiger
    Blacklegs
    Blacktops
    Blackleg's
    Blacktop's
    Edit...
    Ignore all
    Add to dictionary
  • (cs) in reply to Satanicpuppy
    Satanicpuppy:
    Suspicious person that I am, I am always skeptical of people who use words that have no specific definition to describe the amount of their experience.

    Myself I would say, "Four years of developer experience in Java and J2EE, primarily focused on applets and GUIs."

    I would never ever ever say, "Average Java knowledge". What the hell does that even mean? Average for who?

    I'd much rather someone take a look at my qualifications, realize I'm not qulified for the job, and pass me up, than get picked up for a job because someone thinks I can do something I can't resulting in stress and aggrivation for everyone involved.

    2nd post from a converted lurker.

    puppy, your flaw is that you're running afoul of "Smallberries' First Law:"  Never invoke the "L" word where they are concerned.  (For the lexically-challenged, or just those not privy to my thought processes, the "L" word is "logic."  {I was once told by a PHB-type that "Logic is a four-letter word."})

    In short, "never underestimate the human capacity for stupidity."

    Of  course, the flipside to this is that, thanks to the human capacity for stupidity, we have a wonderful place on the web to laugh at them, as well as have the occasional holy war.

    p.s. okay, this forum software is officially screwy.  H(ow)TF do you insert an emoticon?

  • (cs) in reply to brazzy
    brazzy:
    But the real kicker here, which you apparently didn't even notice, is "C+" - there is no such language!


    Google is your friend.  There apparently really is a C+ programming language.  There might even be two of them.

    One could give him the benefit of the doubt and consider it a misspelling of C++, but since he lists that as well, it very much looks like he simply extrapolated the name from the others, and that the only thing he knows about some of those is probably their name.


    Yes, it probably is a misspelling of "C++", but beware of assuming that is necessarily the case.

    Sincerely,

    Gene Wirchenko

  • (cs)

    Finally! Now I can draw my self-portrait. MS Paint. Never thought of that.

    [image]

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