The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Bruno:
Are those stories supposed to be real or not? I'm asking because this one is obviously fake, for 2 reasons: - I've met lots of stupid persons in this job, but to this point it's just not possible, sorry. - If the program was unchanged (still handling comma, not pipes) *and* the input files was unchanged (still comma-separated) then everything would have worked well and Tony wouldn't even have sent the "not working" e-mail. He would simply have believed he had successfully made the change.

You have a lot to learn. Yes, these stories are real, just hang around this site for long enough and nothing will surprise you. I, for one, have known people exactly like Tony. If you haven't met a "Tony" yet then good for you, but it's just a matter of time so you better brace yourself. And if you re-read the story, you'll see how it happened; the first change, in which Tony added a new constant, resulted in a compiler warning rather than an error. So Amit fixed it by updating the original constant to a pipe instead of a comma and it then broke because the original data was still comma-delimited. It's a pretty straighforward story if you read it properly. Anyway, good luck in IT Bruno, hope we never have to see your code here.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

wtf:
It's not hard to see how a civilian user would expect that changing an extension name would change the file format. It's actually not that unreasonable a metaphor.

Yes! Why, just yesterday, I ran out of peanut butter, so I took my jar of mayonnaise, and changed its label to "Peanut Butter". That was one delicious sandwich.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Whiskey:
wtf:
It's not hard to see how a civilian user would expect that changing an extension name would change the file format. It's actually not that unreasonable a metaphor.

Yes! Why, just yesterday, I ran out of peanut butter, so I took my jar of mayonnaise, and changed its label to "Peanut Butter". That was one delicious sandwich.

QFT. They say you can't judge a book by it's cover but that's rubbish, everyone knows that the content of the book will magically update itself if you change the name on the cover. Label=content, obviously. Scientists don't fully know how this phenomenon works but a leading research team recently commented "we got magic everywhere in this bitch". Sadly, they also noted that they are a long way away from understanding "fucking magnets".

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Patrick:
BentFranklin:
Is the immature joke that fact that (|) looks like a clam?
I think it looks more like a coffee bean.

That's the difference between nerds and human beings

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

[quote user="AnonymousQFT. They say you can't judge a book by it's cover but that's rubbish, everyone knows that the content of the book will magically update itself if you change the name on the cover. Label=content, obviously.[/quote]

What you need is some sort of fancy machine that can store a book and represent it in a number of ways, like a as plain text, or as formatted text, or maybe even in braille. Who knows, if you got really fancy, you could make it create an audio version of the book - like a book on tape without the tape! Then you really could change the name on the cover, and have the book's contents change. Too bad we don't have machines like that now, in 1940. But I hear they're doing wonderful things with vacuum tubes, and in a few years, who knows what you'll be able to do?

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

wtf:
...Then you really could change the name on the cover, and have the book's contents change.
Too bad we don't have machines like that now, in 1940. But I hear they're doing wonderful things with vacuum tubes, and in a few years, who knows what you'll be able to do?

I applaud your optimism but somehow I doubt that "vacuum tubes" will be the technological precursor to "magic". But hey, you keep dreaming my friend. If you believe in it hard enough, maybe one day we'll be reading those magic books whilst riding to work on our domesticated unicorns.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
wtf:
...Then you really could change the name on the cover, and have the book's contents change.
Too bad we don't have machines like that now, in 1940. But I hear they're doing wonderful things with vacuum tubes, and in a few years, who knows what you'll be able to do?

I applaud your optimism but somehow I doubt that "vacuum tubes" will be the technological precursor to "magic". But hey, you keep dreaming my friend. If you believe in it hard enough, maybe one day we'll be reading those magic books whilst riding to work on our domesticated unicorns.

You're right, it's a crazy dream. But I also think man will one day walk on the moon.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
wtf:
...Then you really could change the name on the cover, and have the book's contents change.
Too bad we don't have machines like that now, in 1940. But I hear they're doing wonderful things with vacuum tubes, and in a few years, who knows what you'll be able to do?

I applaud your optimism but somehow I doubt that "vacuum tubes" will be the technological precursor to "magic". But hey, you keep dreaming my friend. If you believe in it hard enough, maybe one day we'll be reading those magic books whilst riding to work on our domesticated unicorns.

You're right, it's a crazy dream. But I also think man will one day walk on the moon.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

wtf:
It's not hard to see how a civilian user would expect that changing an extension name would change the file format.

For starters, what's a civilian user?

Secondly, and it might shock some, the average computer user today might actually know better than that. People who commit that kind of error are typically still technologically stuck in the late 80s and 90s.

I don't know, my experience with users is that they get stuck when trying to fix hardware/software problems, not on thinking they can turn a text file into a mpeg just by changing the file extension or silly crap like that.

frits · 2010-06-30 Reply Admin

wtf:
Anonymous:
wtf:
...Then you really could change the name on the cover, and have the book's contents change.
Too bad we don't have machines like that now, in 1940. But I hear they're doing wonderful things with vacuum tubes, and in a few years, who knows what you'll be able to do?

I applaud your optimism but somehow I doubt that "vacuum tubes" will be the technological precursor to "magic". But hey, you keep dreaming my friend. If you believe in it hard enough, maybe one day we'll be reading those magic books whilst riding to work on our domesticated unicorns.

You're right, it's a crazy dream. But I also think man will one day walk on the moon.

Your also not accounting for the cost/benefit ratio for inventing magic. Unless you find a free source, such as that found inside the horn of unicorns.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Change the extension to .txt and see what happens. Magic, huh?

I had a client once that wanted us to send .csv files to their data center. That I did. Then the manager asked me to send it to her in .txt format so that she could look at the data.

I just copied the .csv file and change it to a .txt extension and charged her for it.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Capt. Obvious:
Jaybles:
I can believe that he thought changing the extension to PSV would magically convert the file. I've had a client change an extension from XLS to CSV thinking the same thing. When questioned about it, the response was, "What do you mean it doesn't work that way? I've been doing that for years!" *facepalm*

It's quite valid for some XLS files. A CSV file renamed to XLS opens in Excel like any native Excel file. In those cases, you can indeed revert.

Of course, CSV->XLS always works and is far more useful. Especially if you need to write out Excel files for some reason... which coincidentally is the only reason I know that this works.

See above. These are both different extensions for files that are essentially TEXT files. The only difference that has anything to do with which app opens the file is the extension which is registered to be opened by a specific application in windows. This can be done by the install program but YOU, the windows user also have control over which default application and alternate applications can open which files with which file extensions. (Right Click/Open With)

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

I adjust Windows file extension registrations all the time. It is very trivial to fix misconfigured settings, the notion that you are "screwed" is utterly ridiculous. They are very easy to set up and maintain if you know what you're doing, just a few registry keys, and even if you don't know what you're doing there is a pretty good graphical editor that does everything the layman needs (Tools-->Folder Options)

A few registry keys? Try writing some code that queries what app is associated with what extension and manages it correctly. There's exceptions scattered all over the place. And what has precedence over what isn't documented anywhere.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

Resa:
YOU, the windows user

Them's fightin' words

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

This story simply can't be true. Any one as intellectually challenged as Tony would have been promoted to senior management long ago.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

You don't even need to know much about computers to laugh at this. EPIC FAIL.

2010-06-30 Reply Admin

OMG - I think I know Tony....

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

wtf:
Anonymous:
wtf:
...Then you really could change the name on the cover, and have the book's contents change.
Too bad we don't have machines like that now, in 1940. But I hear they're doing wonderful things with vacuum tubes, and in a few years, who knows what you'll be able to do?

I applaud your optimism but somehow I doubt that "vacuum tubes" will be the technological precursor to "magic". But hey, you keep dreaming my friend. If you believe in it hard enough, maybe one day we'll be reading those magic books whilst riding to work on our domesticated unicorns.

You're right, it's a crazy dream. But I also think man will one day walk on the moon.

That shouldn't be too hard. Someone just needs to get a car and write "Space Shuttle" on the side of it. According to you that'll work, won't it?!

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

Dave:
That shouldn't be too hard. Someone just needs to get a car and write "Space Shuttle" on the side of it. According to you that'll work, won't it?!

Um, no. You see a car is a physical object, and a file is data in a computer. Data in a computer can be changed into other forms fairly easily. Cars can be changed into other forms only with heavy equipment. Are you sure you're not stupid?

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

wtf:
Dave:
That shouldn't be too hard. Someone just needs to get a car and write "Space Shuttle" on the side of it. According to you that'll work, won't it?!

Um, no. You see a car is a physical object, and a file is data in a computer. Data in a computer can be changed into other forms fairly easily. Cars can be changed into other forms only with heavy equipment. Are you sure you're not stupid?

Where the hell did you get files from? We were talking about peanut butter and books, which I believe are physical objects also. Are you actually paying attention, or are you too busy petting the unicorns and flying around on your carpet, or whatever it is you people do in "magic land"?

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

Dave:
wtf:
Dave:
That shouldn't be too hard. Someone just needs to get a car and write "Space Shuttle" on the side of it. According to you that'll work, won't it?!

Um, no. You see a car is a physical object, and a file is data in a computer. Data in a computer can be changed into other forms fairly easily. Cars can be changed into other forms only with heavy equipment. Are you sure you're not stupid?
Where the hell did you get files from? We were talking about peanut butter and books, which I believe are physical objects also. Are you actually paying attention, or are you too busy petting the unicorns and flying around on your carpet, or whatever it is you people do in "magic land"?

Ah. That'll be a "yes" on stupid, then. Have you considered a line of work that doesn't require an ability to handle metaphors? You might do really well at putting up drywall.

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

wtf:
Dave:
wtf:
Dave:
That shouldn't be too hard. Someone just needs to get a car and write "Space Shuttle" on the side of it. According to you that'll work, won't it?!

Um, no. You see a car is a physical object, and a file is data in a computer. Data in a computer can be changed into other forms fairly easily. Cars can be changed into other forms only with heavy equipment. Are you sure you're not stupid?
Where the hell did you get files from? We were talking about peanut butter and books, which I believe are physical objects also. Are you actually paying attention, or are you too busy petting the unicorns and flying around on your carpet, or whatever it is you people do in "magic land"?

Ah. That'll be a "yes" on stupid, then. Have you considered a line of work that doesn't require an ability to handle metaphors? You might do really well at putting up drywall.

I think I'll stick to my software engineering job thanks, I doubt I could earn $115,000 putting up drywall. It also means I don't have to deal with angsty juniors who can't take a joke...

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

Dave:
wtf:
Dave:
wtf:
Dave:
That shouldn't be too hard. Someone just needs to get a car and write "Space Shuttle" on the side of it. According to you that'll work, won't it?!

Um, no. You see a car is a physical object, and a file is data in a computer. Data in a computer can be changed into other forms fairly easily. Cars can be changed into other forms only with heavy equipment. Are you sure you're not stupid?
Where the hell did you get files from? We were talking about peanut butter and books, which I believe are physical objects also. Are you actually paying attention, or are you too busy petting the unicorns and flying around on your carpet, or whatever it is you people do in "magic land"?

Ah. That'll be a "yes" on stupid, then. Have you considered a line of work that doesn't require an ability to handle metaphors? You might do really well at putting up drywall.
I think I'll stick to my software engineering job thanks, I doubt I could earn $115,000 putting up drywall. It also means I don't have to deal with angsty juniors who can't take a joke...

Jaysus they pay pretty good for stupid these days. Looking forward to reading your code in some future installment.

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

John:
There was a vast field between "incompetent" and "incompetent enough to get fired", and Tony frolicked in that field among the Lilies of Wasted Effort and the Butterflies of Uselessness. He was the sort of person that could only survive in a large company where his dead-weight was barely noticable among the bueraucratic morass. Amit's statement was literally true: Tony, a senior developer, should have been able to make these changes. Could he, on the other hand?

Some of the best writing I've seen. I have the same guy in my group

+1 and +1

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

I call BS. Nobody can be this stupid.

2010-07-01 Reply Admin

It's this exact sort of incompetence that lowers the bar in large organizations. Think how great a company could be if everyone had someone next to them they could actually learn from and strive to be better than.

2010-07-02 Reply Admin

I have to disagree...

I was talking about what happened much before Amit fixes the code:

the first "It's not working" => I don't see why it wouldn't work since Tony didn't even change the file (only the extension). OK maybe at that stage he's tried to change something else in the code and broke it completely. That is admissible.
but the second one, "It's still not working" => at that moment the code basically says "#define DATA_SEPARATOR ','" and "#define DATA_SEPARATOR_TWO '|'". So it's handling commas. And the file is still comma-separated. So why does Tony say it's still not working?? His stupidity should make it just shout "hooray I did it!". No?

2010-07-05 Reply Admin

I have worked with a guy (my boss and a Senior Oracle DBA by designation) who was confused with a backup copy of Oracle DB control file saved as a text definition with "ALTER DATABASE BACKUP CONTROLFILE TO TRACE" command and the actual binary control file.

He wanted to edit control file definition and frustrated by seeing junk characters in notepad when he tried opening binary control file in notepad he called me up for help. I didn't know what to say but politely told him it's not possible (actually I couldn't figure out at that moment that he wanted to open SQL command of control file definition that was saved to TRACE).

But the real fun was later when he still insisted that he has seen a Senior DBA guy (his boss once upon a time I guess) doing this. And then suddenly he said "Well, I figured out what is wrong, that guy opened it in "vi" editor in Unix and not in notepad". So he he FTPed the control file to Unix box and tried opening it in "vi". Luckily it strike me what he was planning to do so I just fired the command to generate a text control file definition and gave him the SQL to play with.

And in a team meeting that day he praised me and recommended me for advanced Oracle DBA training :-)

2010-07-07 Reply Admin

OH MY GOD... and this guy keeps his job HOW?

2010-07-07 Reply Admin

f*** me !

Oh, sorry, you have to change the extension to .XXX first!

2010-07-07 Reply Admin

You do realize that this actually works, right? You can often rename .asp to .aspx and have it work with little or no changes to the pages. Obviously, it doesn't work quite that automatically, but it can work.

Of course, you could just be a troll, in which case, consider yourself fed.

2010-07-07 Reply Admin

I worked with a guy that thought changing an IP address in an INI file on one machine should automagically change the IP addresses of one or more other PCs whether they were currently on the network or not. For instance, I should be able to change an INI file on my PC and your IP address should change. So yes, some people are that dumb.

2010-10-16 Reply Admin

YOU POOR POOR BASTARD!!

D: OH GOD WHY!!???!!!?

2010-12-14 Reply Admin

For the benefit of anyone else like me who reads comments on old threads, I give you a related quote from my favorite FAQ ever: Can I record a song in Sound Recorder, call it a MIDI and upload it to your site? No. No. No no no no no. In other words, no. You may not. If you record a song in Sound Recorder (Or any other wave recorder), you've made a wave file, not a MIDI file. You can't make it a MIDI just by changing the name. It does not work, and it will not work. Windows may say that you've produced a MIDI file by doing that, but that's because Windows is stupid. In addition, no.

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