• trainbrain27 (unregistered)

    TRWTF is getting the wrong company that was also 161 micrometers inside your range.

  • Quirkafleeg (unregistered) in reply to Forumtroll
    Forumtroll:
    that angry yelling man had windows 95 installed 7 years ago back in 1999?

    I smell fish here!

    Far be it from me to accuse one of your obvious olfactory abilities of having made a mistake, but perhaps a re-smelling is in order?

  • Abdiel (cs)

    Imagine the mayhem if Ben had been called to the company to wipe their servers and reinstall the software from scratch for some reason.

  • Steve (unregistered)

    Uhm...Maybe the rest of the world is different but.....

    this bloke is travelling close to 100 miles. The city is about 30-40 mile away, yet he has to travel through the city (ie he can't go around/past it??).
    He complains about peak hour in the city, despite leaving home at 5:30AM (ie, even at an average speed of 30mph he's passing through the city at 6:30AM). As I say, maybe the rest of the world is different, but most cities I've been to are pretty deserted at 6:30AM (apart from the odd late-nightwer on their way home)....

    But, I guessit makes a good story!!

  • J (unregistered)

    Third one sounds familiar. In my short time in tech support, I learned that you shouldn't tell people to double-click stuff after about the third time I had this conversation.

    Me: Double-click on the "My Computer" icon. Caller: Nothing happened. Me: Try again. Caller (angry now): I already did. Me (making up stupid story): Umm...Some computers have problems with double-clicking. Click on it once, then press "Enter"

  • frits (cs) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    Uhm...Maybe the rest of the world is different but.....

    this bloke is travelling close to 100 miles. The city is about 30-40 mile away, yet he has to travel through the city (ie he can't go around/past it??).
    He complains about peak hour in the city, despite leaving home at 5:30AM (ie, even at an average speed of 30mph he's passing through the city at 6:30AM). As I say, maybe the rest of the world is different, but most cities I've been to are pretty deserted at 6:30AM (apart from the odd late-nightwer on their way home)....

    But, I guessit makes a good story!!

    Where I live, at 6:30 AM it's already "game on" in traffic, and I live in "the country".

  • ARMed but harmless (unregistered) in reply to J
    J:
    Finn:
    Most Americans don't have a passport and are born and die before ever leaving the States.

    Wait, we leave the States when we die? Are you speaking physically or metaphysically?

    The Soylent Green production plant is overseas.

  • frits (cs) in reply to Finn
    Finn:
    frits:
    That second one reminds me of when people talk louder to someone with a foreign accent. It's as if speaking a different language is the same as having a hearing impairment.

    Living in America, but being from a foreign country, I see this all the time. What is it with Americans' inability to deal with people on an international level? There's a lot of potential for misscommunication when dealing between countries. So you have to be aware of certain protocols and such. Here is where I see people the most oblivious.

    But then, how much can you blame Americans? It's not like Europe here where you have so many different countries, cultures, and languages so close together. Most Americans don't have a passport and are born and die before ever leaving the States.

    It's called America, dude. Learn the rules.

  • UriGagarin (cs) in reply to gabba
    gabba:
    The Chinese guy should have answered Brendan's unhelpful question with a simple "No" -- obviously he couldn't state the problem more clearly; his English is poor. Perhaps eventually Brendan would have started to understand he needs to frame his question more helpfully; maybe "Which button are you referring to?" would have worked better.

    I work with users across Europe and despite their English is far better than my French,Dutch, Italian and German, its easy to get these kind of situations where we misunderstand each other even after over 5 years. So I wlso ask for the Record they are looking at, a screen shot and the actions to get the problem. Its not full-proof , but it seriously helps with most things. Often its a misunderstanding at their end and we can sort that out easily, but sometimes just getting to that point can take weeks. That though is not unusual even with perfect English speakers, its the disconnect between asking technical stuff sand folks that are lost with anything more than email.

    I read it as a funny thing that occurs when you are not more precise with non native English speakers.

    As for the "At the wrong company", well that does seem a bit far-fetched, surely someone would need to meet them at reception and take them through to the Server room ?

    The guy didn't ask if he got the right place? I can imagine turning up at a site with a company in many buildings and going to the wrong one and getting as far as a IT bloke showing up and saying "huh, think you want XXX building "

  • Slicerwizard (unregistered) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Where I live, at 6:30 AM it's already "game on" in traffic, and I live in "the country".
    Same deal here. If you're not on the highway before 6am, you'll regret it.
  • Shoruke (cs) in reply to Slicerwizard

    I think when the guy couldn't find the ERP servers, he just needed to state his problem more clearly. By shouting.

    captcha: sarchasm: the deep gash in the Earth from which our never-ending stream of sarcasm gushes.

  • hikari (cs)

    Is a two and a half hour commute unusual? Because that's my normal commute to work. I leave home around 7am, I get to the office around 9:30am.

    That's assuming the trains aren't fucked up; if they are it can be gone 10am and possibly getting on for 11am sometimes.

    If anyone wishes to suffer commuting hell, take the train in to London and then take the tube, preferably the Central Line or Northern Line. You'll love it. Just make sure you do it during the commuter rush.

  • egc52556 (unregistered)

    But did you send them an invoice for the 1/2 hour problem you fixed? Then the accounts-payable manager would had a WTF moment...

  • Agile Waterfall Extreme (unregistered)

    It seems to me that the person in story #1 may have been able to turn a mistake into a new business relationship (and a possible future paying customer) - he provided friendly early-morning help, after all.

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    Not WTFs.

    Unmarked office buildings are often found in embedded systems.

    Satan and his minions are often found in embedded systems.

  • Brent Seidel (unregistered) in reply to Franz Kafka
    Franz Kafka:
    [ 3. dealing with people in an international level (excepting canada) requires a change of 8 time zones for me. That combined with some places' penchant for not actually telling me that they have a problem, or fun stuff like "it doesn't work, please advise" means that there's plenty more than protocols to contend with. Really, it's not like crap bug reports are specific to one place.
    At last some recognition for Canada. Usually when Americans thing of someplace international and nearby, they thing of Mexico.
  • Someone (unregistered)
    Gwonam:
    Your Majesty, "Satan and his minions" have seized the island of Koridai.
    King Harkinian:
    Hmm, how can INSERT key help?
  • Sponjk (unregistered) in reply to 4merK0d34

    Hmmmmmm......

    Yahoo: Was sorry very much disturbed you. Some with supply question plan button. Please consult?

    Bing: I am sorry to have bothered you. Have a supply problem button. Please refer to?

    Google: Sorry to bother you. There is a supply problem with the program Button. Please consult?

  • Kensey (cs) in reply to Me
    Me:
    ...where I used to work we had a server that would call IBM itself and order itself new drives, etc. Was kinda creepy when they showed up and said "Your server called, got a drive about to go..."

    I wish ours would do that. If we're lucky, the process goes like this:

    T-?: Drive faults. Drive status light goes amber. (Optionally, Dell/Compaq management software throws an alert.)

    T+0d: NOC staffer sees an alert on the board or (sometimes) catches the amber light while wandering around the datacenter. NOC staff informs server admin team. Server admin team verifies fault, requests approval to order new drive.

    T+2d (min): Approval granted. (Optionally, approval denied because: server not under warranty/service plan, hardware maintenance not covered under contract, contract funds exhausted, customer denied request, wrong phase of moon, Jeanne Dixon said the time is inauspicious.)

    T+3d: New drive arrives. (Optionally, add 1 day for latest episode of "lost in the mailroom in a plain brown box with a random POC name on it")

    T+4d: RFC submitted for drive swap.

    T+6d: RFC approved for implementation 24h later.

    T+7d: Drive swapped.

    T+10d (or so): Another drive in the same array goes bad.

    If we're not lucky, you get a four-month (and counting) Epic Saga of Part Replacement, Episodes I-IX.

  • jaraxle (unregistered) in reply to Brent Seidel
    Brent Seidel:
    At last some recognition for Canada. Usually when Americans thing of someplace international and nearby, they thing of Mexico.

    Personally, when I thing about foreign places, I thing non-North American.

  • Mason Wheeler (cs) in reply to hikari
    hikari:
    Is a two and a half hour commute unusual? Because that's my normal commute to work. I leave home around 7am, I get to the office around 9:30am.

    I used to do that. Commuted 3 hours to work and 3 hours back to work an 8 hour day. Got sick of it, so I went and got a better job and moved to a new apartment. Now my commute's 15 minutes either way.

  • ted (unregistered) in reply to Jeff

    Three year olds are so fucking cool

    feugiat - sports car for 3 year olds.

  • Hatterson (unregistered) in reply to ted

    I'm pretty sure that if I was in the same situation as the Chinese user and had got an email back like Brendan's I would have responded the same way.

    Its one thing to be curt to a coworker who asks a question like that but unless there's a past of the customer doing things like this on a regular basis the proper response would have been to employ some tact.

    It isn't hard to type out "I'm sorry but I don't quite understand the issue. Can you be more specific as to what button you are pressing and what error message is coming up?"

  • Fred (unregistered) in reply to egc52556
    egc52556:
    But did you send them an invoice for the 1/2 hour problem you fixed? Then the accounts-payable manager would had a WTF moment...
    I can tell you haven't done this much. Minimum 4 hours ($150 an hour) for a support visit, plus 2 hours driving each way, plus expenses (mileage and lunch) plus $300 to set them up in Accounts Receivable since they're a new customer.

    Maybe next time the lazy bi4ch will fix her own damn report.

  • Spike (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    1. The support tech walks into the wrong building that is guranteed to have their company name somewhere in plain sight. Either on the building, on a wall/sign in the lobby or on his visitor badge.

    Try again, the article said they (the company he was looking for) were in the unmarked building next door.

  • ted (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    Not WTFs.

    Unmarked office buildings are often found in embedded systems.

    Satan and his minions are often found in embedded systems.

    Was Kevin there?

  • Sam Joe Billy Bob Smith (unregistered) in reply to Finn
    Finn:
    Most Americans don't have a passport and are born and die before ever leaving the States.
    Well ah done seen the weather report every day on the tee vee and the pitchur shows America covers most all the globe cept for a few oceans round the edge. So there ain't really much anywheres elsewise to go.
  • ted (unregistered) in reply to Fred
    Fred:
    egc52556:
    But did you send them an invoice for the 1/2 hour problem you fixed? Then the accounts-payable manager would had a WTF moment...
    I can tell you haven't done this much. Minimum 4 hours ($150 an hour) for a support visit, plus 2 hours driving each way, plus expenses (mileage and lunch) plus $300 to set them up in Accounts Receivable since they're a new customer.

    Maybe next time the lazy bi4ch will fix her own damn report.

    You have touched on the fundamental difference between a "tech" and a "consultant"

  • Sam Joe Billy Bob Smith (unregistered)

    I did go to Messiko one day so I got a purdy good idear what them foreign places are like anyhoo.

  • North Bus (cs) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    Uhm...Maybe the rest of the world is different but.....

    this bloke is travelling close to 100 miles. The city is about 30-40 mile away, yet he has to travel through the city (ie he can't go around/past it??).
    He complains about peak hour in the city, despite leaving home at 5:30AM (ie, even at an average speed of 30mph he's passing through the city at 6:30AM). As I say, maybe the rest of the world is different, but most cities I've been to are pretty deserted at 6:30AM (apart from the odd late-nightwer on their way home)....

    But, I guessit makes a good story!!

    Let's take a look at Cleveland, Ohio. Say, for example, a company in Painesville provides support for the something-or-other system at Cedar Point (map)

    That's a 90 mile drive, and there is no feasible way to avoid the morning rush hour all over the city. Every major highway (2, I-90, I-480, I-71, I-80) will be a mess, and I-271 only slightly less so... though going that way adds 30 miles to your commute. And, yes, the traffic does pick up quite well by 6:00 AM... all those banks and doctors, I guess.

    I suppose you could always take a boat, though.

  • An ominous coward (unregistered) in reply to jaraxle
    jaraxle:
    Brent Seidel:
    At last some recognition for Canada. Usually when Americans thing of someplace international and nearby, they thing of Mexico.

    Personally, when I thing about foreign places, I thing non-North American.

    How curious! When I thing of foreign places, I thing of America!

  • jugis (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    Uhm...Maybe the rest of the world is different but.....

    this bloke is travelling close to 100 miles. The city is about 30-40 mile away, yet he has to travel through the city (ie he can't go around/past it??).
    He complains about peak hour in the city, despite leaving home at 5:30AM (ie, even at an average speed of 30mph he's passing through the city at 6:30AM). As I say, maybe the rest of the world is different, but most cities I've been to are pretty deserted at 6:30AM (apart from the odd late-nightwer on their way home)....

    But, I guessit makes a good story!!

    sigh

    It was obviously due to Daylight Savings Time.

    sheesh...

  • gistation (unregistered) in reply to Jeff
    Jeff:
    There is a problem with supply programme on the button. Please advice?
    I actually got a better trouble report from my three-year-old. She knew to click on her "duck" icon and type her password to log in. But there was a little problem:

    "I made too many letters on my duck." (Fat-fingered the password.)

    I showed her the backspace key.

    I love your daughter.

    er, shit...

    I mean: her issue-communication skills surpass those of most adults i work with. Purportedly "highly intelligent" ones, at that.

  • gistation (unregistered) in reply to Fred
    Fred:
    egc52556:
    But did you send them an invoice for the 1/2 hour problem you fixed? Then the accounts-payable manager would had a WTF moment...
    I can tell you haven't done this much. Minimum 4 hours ($150 an hour) for a support visit, plus 2 hours driving each way, plus expenses (mileage and lunch) plus $300 to set them up in Accounts Receivable since they're a new customer.

    Maybe next time the lazy bi4ch will fix her own damn report.

    <3 <3 <3!!!

  • aristos_achaion (unregistered) in reply to Forumtroll
    Forumtroll:
    that angry yelling man had windows 95 installed 7 years ago back in 1999?
    the article:
    Well, it turned out that he bought the computer seven years earlier,
    So he bought it in 1992...
    then had another company install Windows 95 and the Corel Office Suite
    And had another company install Win95 and Corel OFfice at an unspecified later date.

    Presumably the whole Win95 thing was what tipped the customer service guy to ask about the installation, since no customer would ever volunteer something like another company installing an operating system.

  • OldNews (unregistered)

    "A Text-Destroying Problem"

    Isn't this a old tech story that has gone around for years, real or not. I can't count the number of times I've heard this one now. Must be a frequent problem with stupid people.

  • Zylon (cs) in reply to hikari
    hikari:
    Is a two and a half hour commute unusual? Because that's my normal commute to work.
    I have a 45-minute commute, and I consider that to be excessive.

    Some people can rationalize any condition as "normal", I guess.

  • StychoKiller (unregistered) in reply to OldNews
    OldNews:
    "A Text-Destroying Problem"

    Isn't this a old tech story that has gone around for years, real or not. I can't count the number of times I've heard this one now. Must be a frequent problem with stupid people.

    The real WTF here is why do text editors change their behavior with the insert/delete keys? Who thought this was a "Pretty Neat Idea (TM)??"

  • Mason Wheeler (cs) in reply to StychoKiller
    StychoKiller:
    OldNews:
    "A Text-Destroying Problem"

    Isn't this a old tech story that has gone around for years, real or not. I can't count the number of times I've heard this one now. Must be a frequent problem with stupid people.

    The real WTF here is why do text editors change their behavior with the insert/delete keys? Who thought this was a "Pretty Neat Idea (TM)??"

    Because overwrite is occasionally useful. Not all that often, infrequently enough that it really ought to be some other command that's not so easy to hit by accident, but it's nice to have when you want it.

  • dwilliss (cs) in reply to Anon

    Come on! This is America. Speak Spanish!

  • DaveK (cs) in reply to My Name?
    My Name?:
    Drew:
    <obnoxiouslyLargeFont>MY COMMENT IS NOT WORK! PLEASE ADVICE?"</obnoxiouslyLargeFont>

    No need to send your Windows95-machine to our 99.9999mls-away location.

    Your Caps-button is on. Turn it off and all your trouble is solved!

    WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME? I PAID YOU MONEY FOR THIS SUPPORT, WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS JUST AS BAD AS STEALING STRAIGHT OUT OF MY KIDS' MOUTHS, AND ANYway you are s...

    Oh, never mind, it's all ok now. But it's still your fault!

  • DaveK (cs) in reply to Hatterson
    Hatterson:
    I'm pretty sure that if I was in the same situation as the Chinese user and had got an email back like Brendan's I would have responded the same way.

    Its one thing to be curt to a coworker who asks a question like that but unless there's a past of the customer doing things like this on a regular basis the proper response would have been to employ some tact.

    It isn't hard to type out "I'm sorry but I don't quite understand the issue. Can you be more specific as to what button you are pressing and what error message is coming up?"

    Woosh. Did you read the article we're discussing here, or was that comment written by guesswork? Because it's pretty clear that the OP did indeed reply politely, and it's also pretty clear that the guy he said that to was a self-righteous prick exactly like you are. Come on, what the hell was he supposed to do? He said "Could you please state your problem more clearly?"; that's straightforward, polite, non-accusatory and uncritical. If anyone has a problem with that, it's their problem, not the fault of whoever said it to them.
  • DaveK (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Finn:
    frits:
    That second one reminds me of when people talk louder to someone with a foreign accent. It's as if speaking a different language is the same as having a hearing impairment.

    Living in America, but being from a foreign country, I see this all the time. What is it with Americans' inability to deal with people on an international level? There's a lot of potential for misscommunication when dealing between countries. So you have to be aware of certain protocols and such. Here is where I see people the most oblivious.

    But then, how much can you blame Americans? It's not like Europe here where you have so many different countries, cultures, and languages so close together. Most Americans don't have a passport and are born and die before ever leaving the States.

    It's called America, dude. Learn the rules.

    What, it's actually a rule that you're not allowed to leave your own country or know anything about anywhere else in the world? That sounds an awful lot like communism to me! Let's just hope that Obama can restore capitalism after the years of damage caused by the previous communitarian administration.
  • DaveK (cs) in reply to Quirkafleeg
    Quirkafleeg:
    Forumtroll:
    that angry yelling man had windows 95 installed 7 years ago back in 1999?

    I smell fish here!

    Far be it from me to accuse one of your obvious olfactory abilities of having made a mistake, but perhaps a re-smelling is in order?

    I think you meant to say
    Kryten:
    At the risk of questioning your nasal integrity, might I suggest that a re-smelling may be in order?
  • Nick (unregistered) in reply to frits
    frits:
    That second one reminds me of when people talk louder to someone with a foreign accent. It's as if speaking a different language is the same as having a hearing impairment.
    The only people I've seen do this are Americans.
  • anon. (unregistered) in reply to UriGagarin
    UriGagarin:
    I work with users across Europe and despite their English is far better than my French,Dutch, Italian and German, its easy to get these kind of situations where we misunderstand each other even after over 5 years. So I wlso ask for the Record they are looking at, a screen shot and the actions to get the problem. Its not full-proof , but it seriously helps with most things.

    Yup, a picture says a thousand words - if its a screenshot of the right thing, which is a mighty big ask.

    Having said that, there are plenty of people out there who just say 'broke, fix it' in varying degrees of politeness, no matter what you do or how you say it.

  • n3txpert (unregistered)

    We once used Google translate to send back the question in Chinese and it worked.

  • Kempeth (unregistered)

    Customer: Sorry disturbing you. There is a problem with supply programme on the button. Please advice?

    Terminator style reply options:

    • What you say?
    • Uhhm. Mainscreen: Turn On?!?
    • You know what you're doing! Take off every Zig!
  • erik404 (unregistered)

    zwaait naar Coltrui

  • Nameless (unregistered) in reply to rast
    rast:
    4merK0d34:
    很抱歉打扰您了。有一个与供应问题的方案 按钮。请咨询?

    COULD YOU PLEASE STATE YOUR PROBLEM MORE CLEARLY?

    很抱歉打扰您了。有一个与供应问题的方案 按钮。请咨询?

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