The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

Ilya Ehrenburg · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Mason Wheeler:
In Spanish, Italian, and probably a bunch of related languages, "Mario" is the masculine version of "Maria" (Mary), and is a fairly common male name.

Actually, it's not. It's the de-latinised version of Marius. A rather common confusion, though.

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Found it!

public static function getReallyRandomName($gender) { return 'Mary'; }

Mason Wheeler · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

What, no:

public static function getRandomComment($gender) { return 'frist'; }

??

Surely that's TRWTF?

monkeypants · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

ds111:
What do the "few places" do with it when they've called it? I suspect a few more WTFs lurking there.

I agree. If I saw this ridiculous crap I wouldn't have been able to resist seeing what dimbulb called it.

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

I agree with ()... It looks like this person was writing a test in which they needed to supply a name to an object. However, the name didn't matter to the test. Instead of coding in a "magic" value and having the next person to see it be confused why they picked "Mary", they created a function called getRandomName so that the test expresses intent. However, I might agree that "random" isn't a great term... maybe getGenericName(), getSomeName(), or anyName() might suffice.

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Don't forget "Dana"

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Dana:
Don't forget "Dana"

I assure you, it's *quite* impossible to forget Dana.

Mason Wheeler · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

sino:
Dana:
Don't forget "Dana"
I assure you, it's *quite* impossible to forget Dana.

...no matter how hard you try!

dwilliss · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

Lord of the Rings

notromda · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

skinnytie:
TRWTF is that submitter's source control system did not provide him a changelog.
I mean, he must be using a source control system, right?

That was the first WTF I found too.

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

There is clearly a gaping desperation in the heart of the developer that wrote this.

A love story. A tragedy.

Mary.

Why?

I am commanded to write a function that returns random names according to gender...yet you are all I can think about.

Mary.

WHY? MARY WHY? CURSE MY EYES FOR ETERNITY!!!

(your skinsuit looks good on me, whore)

SQLDave · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

Scrubs.

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Ilya Ehrenburg:
Mason Wheeler:
In Spanish, Italian, and probably a bunch of related languages, "Mario" is the masculine version of "Maria" (Mary), and is a fairly common male name.
Actually, it's not. It's the de-latinised version of Marius. A rather common confusion, though.

Oh, yes it is - because both are true, and the confusion lies elsewhere. It is the de-latinised version of Marius, AND it is the masculine version of Maria, since originally Marius and Maria were a masculine/feminine pair of Roman names in Latin; Maria is itself a Roman name in Latin (though not only that). The confusion that is widely present arises from supposing that Maria was originally a Hebrew name, e.g. that of the mother of Jesus. It wasn't, her name was actually something like Maryam (but written in the Hebrew alphabet), often written Miriam in the Latin alphabet. It was just that when people started writing these things up in Latin they latinised them, quite often by picking the nearest Latin equivalent (which is how Saul picked Paul as a new name). Anyhow, that whole process gives the English language name Mary a "double etymology"; it doesn't simply come from the Hebrew name of Jesus's mother but from a linking of that with the quite separate Roman name Maria.

SQLDave · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Steve the Cynic:
...owing to the USian tendency to assume that Robin is a girl's name...

Winnie the Pooh, Mork & Mindy, Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous, Errol Flynn, the Chicago White Sox, and the Milwaukee Brewers cured us of that.

Mason Wheeler · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

SQLDave:
Steve the Cynic:
...owing to the USian tendency to assume that Robin is a girl's name...
Winnie the Pooh, Mork & Mindy, Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous, Errol Flynn, the Chicago White Sox, and the Milwaukee Brewers cured us of that.

Yeah, "Robin" is right up there with "Tracy"...

frits · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Mike's coworkers wondered why he was buggin'. They didn't realize he had called getRandomName() twice in a row.

frits · 2010-02-10 Reply Admin

SQLDave:
Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

Scrubs.

+1

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

This web site is broken. When I click "Random Article", I get to some other article instead of this one. Please fix.

2010-02-10 Reply Admin

Bub:
Anon:
The obvious solution is to place a phone book on a wooden table, set up a web cam to capture an image, use OCR convert the image to words and then pick a name from there. Just remember (VERY IMPORTANT!), every day you need to flip the page in the phone book or you'll end up with the same set of names as the day before.

That'll never work. Once you've OCR'd the page, you need to tabulate the results, print them out individually and stash them inside Kinder Eggs, fill a room full of the things, then toss a black, mute, blind, deaf, legless, hunchback, lesbian midget in to select one at random.

Just remember (VERY IMPORTANT), tie a rope around her waist and hold onto it tightly, or you'll never be able to retrieve her.

You forgot "and she gotta have a Mexican surname".

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

class Jesus {
  ...
  public String getParent() {
    return "Mary";
  }
  ...
}

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

():
Actually, it makes a lot of sense. Someone wrote a mock for this function to test other functionalities and they accidentally forgot to implement the proper code. The only WTF I see here is not adding a "// TODO: implement this" and something like "#ifndef debug error 'the implementation is not finished'" Captcha: nulla (are we still posting the captchas?)

I often find the "TODO:" to be quite a WTF itself. Problem is the standard usage if this look like:

Developer 1 writes crap and add "// TODO:" everywhere in his code.
Software V1.0 sold.
Users yell, developer 2 must check the code.
Developer 2 yells.
Developer 1 tells Developer 2 and project manager: "Yeah I know, that's why there's a TODO" on this method.

The TODO just ends like a legal notice on the bottom of the page saying you're not responsible for anything...

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

It's perfectly good Test Driven Development.

Write a simple description of the requirement: it returns a name.
Write the simplest code that satisfies the requirement: return "Mary".
Refine the requirement: it returns different names.
Rewrite ... oops I have an urgent bug to fix somewhere else ... better check this in so it doesn't get lost.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

thosrtanner:
Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

It's not an uncommon boy's name in Eire (Republic of Ireland)

No it isnt.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

anon:
thosrtanner:
Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

It's not an uncommon boy's name in Eire (Republic of Ireland)

No it isnt.

Or i should clarify that it hasnt been used as a boys name for 40 years and even then it was only ever used as a middle name.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

At least it's reentrant.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

anon:
anon:
thosrtanner:
Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

It's not an uncommon boy's name in Eire (Republic of Ireland)

No it isnt.

Or i should clarify that it hasnt been used as a boys name for 40 years and even then it was only ever used as a middle name.

Someone else also said that using Maria as a middle name is quite common in some countries but didn't seem to know why: It has to do with Roman-Catholicism, it's even called the "religious initial" in some parts of the USA. Why this happens in this religion is unknown to me.

Mcoder · 2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Sika:
Yet another thread on yet another forum with the same story, linking same xkcd and Dilbert...

Yet, the mysql_real_scape_string is news for me. It should get the front page someday.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Anon:
How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

And I double-noob failed. Replied instead of quoting, and missed that it was already mentioned.

GalacticCowboy · 2010-02-11 Reply Admin

SQLDave:
Steve the Cynic:
...owing to the USian tendency to assume that Robin is a girl's name...
Winnie the Pooh, Mork & Mindy, Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous, Errol Flynn, the Chicago White Sox, and the Milwaukee Brewers cured us of that.

But in Winnie the Pooh "Robin" was his surname. His given name was "Christopher."

GalacticCowboy · 2010-02-11 Reply Admin

anon:
thosrtanner:
Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

It's not an uncommon boy's name in Eire (Republic of Ireland)

No it isnt.

Ambiguous double negative FTW!

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

In Catholic families a boy can be actually named something like Peter Johan Mary to honor the virgin Mary.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

hans:
In Catholic families a boy can be actually named something like Peter Johan Mary to honor the virgin Mary.

and how about "A boy named Sue" ...

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Ha. Have you never heard of a boy named Sue?

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Lee K-T:
():
Actually, it makes a lot of sense. Someone wrote a mock for this function to test other functionalities and they accidentally forgot to implement the proper code. The only WTF I see here is not adding a "// TODO: implement this" and something like "#ifndef debug error 'the implementation is not finished'" Captcha: nulla (are we still posting the captchas?)

I often find the "TODO:" to be quite a WTF itself. Problem is the standard usage if this look like:

Developer 1 writes crap and add "// TODO:" everywhere in his code.

Software V1.0 sold.

Users yell, developer 2 must check the code.

Developer 2 yells.

Developer 1 tells Developer 2 and project manager: "Yeah I know, that's why there's a TODO" on this method.

The TODO just ends like a legal notice on the bottom of the page saying you're not responsible for anything...

Indeed:

    class Program
    {
        static void Main(string[] args)
        {
            // TODO: Write Code
        }
    }

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Mason Wheeler:
Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

Captcha: aliquam - A lick worm. A worm you lick.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Jimmy McJimbo:
Mason Wheeler:
Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

Captcha: aliquam - A lick worm. A worm you lick.

He must have taught you everything you know.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Anon:
Jimmy McJimbo:
Mason Wheeler:
Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

He must have taught you everything you know.

Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Anon:
Anon:
Jimmy McJimbo:
Mason Wheeler:
Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

He must have taught you everything you know.

Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.

You run THAT fast?

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anon:
Anon:
Jimmy McJimbo:
Mason Wheeler:
Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

He must have taught you everything you know.

Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.
You run THAT fast?

You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anon:
Anon:
Jimmy McJimbo:
Mason Wheeler:
Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

He must have taught you everything you know.

Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.
You run THAT fast?

You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.

I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Azeroth:
Mason Wheeler:
Aaron:
Honestly, do you people just sit around all day waiting for opportunities to post the same two xkcd references?

Two? What's the other one?

Oh, yes, I've been waiting for this question!!! I'll post the link to Bobby comic as soon as I find the link. Please nobody comment meanwhile!

If you're referring to Little Bobby Tables, it's xkcd #327

SenTree · 2010-02-11 Reply Admin

GalacticCowboy:
SQLDave:
Steve the Cynic:
...owing to the USian tendency to assume that Robin is a girl's name...
Winnie the Pooh, Mork & Mindy, Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous, Errol Flynn, the Chicago White Sox, and the Milwaukee Brewers cured us of that.

But in Winnie the Pooh "Robin" was his surname. His given name was "Christopher."

Christopher Robin Milne, actually. The character was based on the author's son.

Also, Robin Hood (two words) ;)

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

a non e-mouse:
Found it!
public static function getReallyRandomName($gender) { return 'Mary'; }

Actually, I'm pretty sure it was:

public static function getReallyRandomName($gender) { return getRandomName(getRandomName($gender)); }

Smitty · 2010-02-11 Reply Admin

anon:
I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

It's good to know that the classics are still appreciated. :D

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portuguese_name#The_name_.27Maria.27

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

Anon:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anon:
Anon:
Jimmy McJimbo:
Mason Wheeler:
Smitty:
Anon:
> Hit geek with sword

You fight like a dairy farmer.

How appropriate! You fight like a cow!

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

He must have taught you everything you know.

Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.
You run THAT fast?

You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.

I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

BRRRAAAAAAAIIIIINNNSSSSSS!!!!

(Brains make excellent zombie lure.)

JGarrido · 2010-02-11 Reply Admin

There is NO way I could have resisted getting to the bottom of that one

2010-02-11 Reply Admin

RogerWilco:
anon:
anon:
thosrtanner:
Yalpe Nismou:
So Mary is a boy's name where ?

It's not an uncommon boy's name in Eire (Republic of Ireland)

No it isnt.

Or i should clarify that it hasnt been used as a boys name for 40 years and even then it was only ever used as a middle name.
Someone else also said that using Maria as a middle name is quite common in some countries but didn't seem to know why: It has to do with Roman-Catholicism, it's even called the "religious initial" in some parts of the USA. Why this happens in this religion is unknown to me.

Really?

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