• lolcats (unregistered)

    Why no comments yet? Is this a hidden post?

  • (0d3r (unregistered)

    but even at the end, absolutely nothing better has happend

  • RandomDreamer (unregistered)

    I was looking forward to the part where everyone comes to work the next day, and they realize the burglars took off with all the expensive equipments, leaving behind a note that says "Haw haw". But no such luck.

  • Andy Goth (cs)

    One way doors. What a concept.

    (sigh)

  • Alan (unregistered)

    I think that shows tremendous forethought - What do you do If you are trapped outside during an emergency? Killer Bees for example. What is more likely I ask you? Burglars or Bees?

  • A Nonny Mouse (cs)

    what you need is quantum doors, doing the open/not open fandango

  • Pol (cs)

    Deja Vu!

    I'm sure I've read this story somewhere on WTF before, but a search proved otherwise. Ring bells with anyone else?

  • DoctorFriday (cs)

    Good News - the emergency exits can only open from the inside!

    Bad News - the doors are made of smashable glass :-(

  • Rob (unregistered)

    See it could have actually been a great trap to catch the people robbing the place, have the doors lock from the inside once the alarm is tripped!

    Robber comes up, opens door from outside, alarm trips, he dashes in, door closes, locks. Hes locked in with all the equipment he tried to steal, he gets caught. One less robber on the streets, great success!

    This plan would also be able to cater for the aforementioned concern of killer bees, with the added safety feature of not letting you back out until morning when people come in for work (since if they are coming in to work the bees have gone right?) :)

  • sir_flexalot (unregistered)

    That's easy to fix, just wear all black w/ski mask, go in the open side door, and write "security's still broken" in lipstick on the CEO's monitor. Repeat as monitors are replaced, until doors are locked or security is fixed.

  • James M (unregistered) in reply to Pol
    Pol:
    Deja Vu!

    I'm sure I've read this story somewhere on WTF before, but a search proved otherwise. Ring bells with anyone else?

    At a guess, I'd say that anything under the heading "Best of the Sidebar" was probably displayed in the Sidebar at some point before becoming a main article.

  • Biff (unregistered) in reply to Pol
    I'm sure I've read this story somewhere on WTF before, but a search proved otherwise. Ring bells with anyone else?

    Yup - I thought exactly the same thing... No idea where, though.

  • Al (unregistered)

    I kept reading VP of Finance as VP of France. Weird...

  • gabba (cs)

    Seems like N, who is after all the Director of Operations, and therefore responsible for physical plant, could have just taken care of the problem quietly without yelling at L. But what fun would that be?

  • BPFH (cs) in reply to gabba
    gabba:
    Seems like N, who is after all the Director of Operations, and therefore responsible for physical plant, could have just taken care of the problem quietly without yelling at L. But what fun would that be?

    Yeah, but according to the article N was not responsible for the alarm system. The VP of Finance was, hence the reason why N had to talk to him to remedy the WTF.

  • m0ffx (cs) in reply to lolcats
    lolcats:
    Why no comments yet? Is this a hidden post?
    Presumably every post before yours included the word 'first' and thus got summarily deleted. TDWTF does I believe have zero-tolerance to 'first' posts, even if they're otherwise meaningful and well thought-out.
  • NewbiusMaximus (unregistered)

    Let me guess, this new CEO came highly recommended, and was going to "grow the company" and make you all millionaires? It's amazing that people with such purported business savvy almost invariably come up with ideas that are blindingly stupid.

  • NippleBlockage (unregistered) in reply to Pol
    Pol:
    Deja Vu!

    I'm sure I've read this story somewhere on WTF before, but a search proved otherwise. Ring bells with anyone else?

    Most articles that start with "Originally posted by" tend to be posted elsewhere, previously.

  • real_aardvark (cs) in reply to A Nonny Mouse
    A Nonny Mouse:
    what you need is quantum doors, doing the open/not open fandango
    (I haven't checked, but I can't resist -- sorry.)

    With a cat-flap.

    Obviously.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered)

    For higher security this comment has been disabled.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to A Nonny Mouse
    A Nonny Mouse:
    what you need is quantum doors, doing the open/not open fandango

    The problem is that you have to tunnel through it. Many hamburger bellies won't be able to do so.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Pol
    Pol:
    Deja Vu!

    I'm sure I've read this story somewhere on WTF before, but a search proved otherwise. Ring bells with anyone else?

    Last year. It was the doors opening with an Enterprisy "woooshhhhh". The guy used a ruler or a meter to trigger the light barrier from the other side. That was a much better story. This one is rather trivial and already happened to me, too.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Rob
    Rob:
    See it could have actually been a great trap to catch the people robbing the place, have the doors lock from the inside once the alarm is tripped!

    Robber comes up, opens door from outside, alarm trips, he dashes in, door closes, locks. Hes locked in with all the equipment he tried to steal, he gets caught. One less robber on the streets, great success!

    This plan would also be able to cater for the aforementioned concern of killer bees, with the added safety feature of not letting you back out until morning when people come in for work (since if they are coming in to work the bees have gone right?) :)

    Wouldn't the robber be able to sue you for locking emergency doors? I'd be careful.

  • Anon Fred (unregistered) in reply to ClaudeSuck.de
    ClaudeSuck.de:
    For higher security this comment has been disabled.
    For your convenience all features have been removed.
  • Steve (unregistered)

    Doesn't sound like a WTF to me, except for the fact that the problem actually got corrected in what seems to me to be a sane manner, albeit after a bit of shouting. Of course, doing the right thing may be the WTF, itself.

    I had a similar issue arise when I moved into my current office. The building in which I work has three doors, a main door and two of which exit to a patio area. The Director of the lab decided that because we have a lot of expensive computer equipment, the back doors should be locked at all times with single core deadbolt locks that required a key to open, turning the hallways into essentially blind alleys.

    This struck me as an obvious hazard in the case of a fire -- since many people didn't always carry their keys, someone could easily be trapped with no exit possible. Even breaking a window would be difficult since the windows are break-resistant with embedded screen.

    I had to give them an ultimatum -- either the locks were replaced or I'd have a nice talk with the campus Fire Marshal, who is a known pain in the rear and would most likely find several other violations in his inspection.

    It probably subtly cost me in my performance review but in case of a fire, at least I'm not toast.

  • real_aardvark (cs)

    What I thought was especially poignant was this wistful comment in the middle:

    "The above part isn't the WTF, though it's pretty messed up (and it's managed to completely sink morale). The WTF follows."

  • null (unregistered) in reply to m0ffx
    Comment held for moderation.
  • diaphanein (unregistered) in reply to NewbiusMaximus
    NewbiusMaximus:
    Let me guess, this new CEO came highly recommended, and was going to "grow the company" and make you all millionaires? It's amazing that people with such purported business savvy almost invariably come up with ideas that are blindingly stupid.

    Not terribly suprising...read up on survivorship bias.

  • matt (unregistered)

    What if the outside world is on fire, and somebody tries to use the emergency exit to enter the building to safety?

    Nobody's thinking here!

  • Guard (cs)

    Is it just coincidence that the two hidden names are the hidden names from the anime "Death Note"?

    If it's on purpose, you would think L would be smarter than this.

  • Jon J (unregistered)

    Thats NOTHING!

    At my old job (I couldnt even quit to get away they doubled my salary and made me a part timer!!) The new director wanted the computers run on a 'standard network setup'. To this day I dont know WTF he is talking about!

    The network is a client server with a couple of servers and all the machines are on the domain...

    After a month or two he wanted to be able to sign into machines without a password. Its a school how stupid can one person be? Then for 'security and power saving' he had the machines set to shut down every night at 10pm. I have the updates and scans scheduled for 1am. Guess how awesome the network runs in the morning when people hit it?

    I left last year thank god and they now have a new name for the schools (thats telling) Rarely have I worked at a company that was so good at hiring idiot people as managers.

    Jon

  • M.I. (unregistered)

    True story: Years ago, back in the DOS days, I worked as a clerk in an office that dealt with payroll. Through a stupid mistake I deleted command.com from my PC's root directory. Fortunately, this was the end of the day, so my work was done. I put in a call to tech support and went home.

    The next morning I brought in a copy of Norton Utilities, undeleted command.com, and was good to go. Soon after the tech support guy showed up, I found myself getting a stern dressing-down from the Director. He was very disturbed by the idea that someone could recover a deleted file. What could that do to security? I pointed out they had none to begin with: the building had almost no physical security. The doors were always open. What good was the best information security when anyone could waltz in at any time and take anything?

    After suffering through a few weeks without PC privileges, I was relieved to get my first tech job. A week after starting, I read of a theft in the office I'd left. Someone had stolen Director's secretary's PC.

    My laughter was loud and long.

  • D. T. North (unregistered) in reply to DoctorFriday
    DoctorFriday:
    Good News - the emergency exits can only open from the inside!

    Bad News - the doors are made of smashable glass :-(

    As funny as that sounds, that was a WTF at our old office. The owner of the company had special locks and security alarm systems installed on his and all of the VP's office doors because they had "sensitive" files in their office. The VP of sales & marketing (arguably the guy with the most sensitive files, and the guy with blank checks) requested a fire-safe file cabinet for his office, owner wouldn't give it to him. So he requested a cabinet with a key. "What for?" the owner asked, "you have a lock on your door?" So the VP let it rest for a while figuring that if something were to happen, he could always say "told you so."

    A little over a year later, he got that chance. Allegedly, a burgler broke into the office with a putty knife (no security features on the outside doors beyond a standard lock - 1st WTF). Then they broke into three of the VP offices and made off with some pretty good stuff. The owner found out what had happened, and without going to the office first, he immediately called all the security consultant in on an emergency meeting, demanding to know exactly why everything failed.

    Turns out, the burglers literally sawed through the HOLLOW CORE doors with a drywall saw. They were able to cut a hole big enough in a matter of minutes. Owner demanded to know why security company didn't foresee this sort of loophole. They did, apparently. They wrote a formal letter to the owner citing two (among other) key problems that the owner was advised to fix prior to their installation. 1) It was recommended that the contract be extended to include outside doors and windows. 2) It was recommended that the interior office doors be replaced with solid doors.

    Go figure.

  • Pat (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    Doesn't sound like a WTF to me, except for the fact that the problem actually got corrected in what seems to me to be a sane manner, albeit after a bit of shouting. Of course, doing the right thing may be the WTF, itself.

    The WTF is that the idiots knowingly left the doors unlocked because they had rationalized that the cameras and alarms would deter theft. They knew about the security hole, but couldn't figure out that a camera can be defeated with a ski mask. It never occured to them that if an employee knew about the security hole, they could come back at night and steal with impunity.

  • Patrick (unregistered)
    It's generally been WTF-free, as the management is unusually competent.

    Fixed that for ya.

  • jkupski (unregistered)

    The real WTF is N and L having a shouting match, then N returning to his employees and screaming about how stupid L is.

    Management disagreements should be aired behind closed doors, not in public.

  • Crash Magnet (unregistered) in reply to Alan

    But what about zombies? You think you're safe and the zombies just walk right in. Do you keep shot guns and chain saws in the office? I don't think so?

  • BaileDelPepino (unregistered) in reply to Patrick
    It's generally been WTF-free, as the management is unusually incompetent.

    Fixed that for ya.

  • peterchen (unregistered)

    Whxy not have dedicated burglar doors? They could open ONLY from the outside, and lead into a small cabinet. Security could pick them off once a wee.

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to ClaudeSuck.de
    ClaudeSuck.de:
    Rob:
    See it could have actually been a great trap to catch the people robbing the place, have the doors lock from the inside once the alarm is tripped!

    Robber comes up, opens door from outside, alarm trips, he dashes in, door closes, locks. Hes locked in with all the equipment he tried to steal, he gets caught. One less robber on the streets, great success!

    This plan would also be able to cater for the aforementioned concern of killer bees, with the added safety feature of not letting you back out until morning when people come in for work (since if they are coming in to work the bees have gone right?) :)

    Wouldn't the robber be able to sue you for locking emergency doors? I'd be careful.

    But if the door edges had scalpal sharp blades pointing toward the passer-by, and slammed on them from both sides... presto, instant split-personality!

  • real_aardvark (cs) in reply to null
    null:
    <snip/>
    Moderation note: If a comment is only something like "frist~~!!!" or "eigth!@#!@", it's deleted. If a comment has something meaningful but also "first!~@#!@#", the offending part is sometimes edited out (kinda how like this note was edited in), but usually ignored.

    Nice of you to protect our fragile sensibilities from an unregistered nonentity using the nom de plume null.

    Any chance of cutting out that WoW rubbish? Like, say, counting the number of characters in Chinese script?

  • jvanderb (cs) in reply to Alan
    Alan:
    I think that shows tremendous forethought - What do you do If you are trapped outside during an emergency? Killer Bees for example. What is more likely I ask you? Burglars or Bees?

    That's true, though they don't have any emergency entrances. They should put some in right away!

  • OP (unregistered) in reply to gabba

    OP here,

    Due to the way the company is structured, the only part of operations the Director of Operations is responsible for is shipping & receiving. No, that's not his entire job--he's also one of the engineering directors (again, we're a small company).

    So, yeah, he has no jurisdiction over the actual office.

  • akatherder (cs)

    We have a "Fire exit" sign on one wall that points you in the correct direction of a proper exit. However, before you reach that proper exit, there are three closet doors. So the "Fire exit" signs appears to be pointing at the three closet doors (which are identical to the standard exit/entry doors).

  • OP (unregistered)
    OP:
    gabba:
    Seems like N, who is after all the Director of Operations, and therefore responsible for physical plant, could have just taken care of the problem quietly without yelling at L. But what fun would that be?

    OP here,

    Due to the way the company is structured, the only part of operations the Director of Operations is responsible for is shipping & receiving. No, that's not his entire job--he's also one of the engineering directors (again, we're a small company).

    So, yeah, he has no jurisdiction over the actual office.

    Argh...forgot to quote who I was replying to, so I inserted the quote above.

    While I'm at it, I'll reply to more people:

    jkupski:
    The real WTF is N and L having a shouting match, then N returning to his employees and screaming about how stupid L is.

    No, he ranted about how stupid the unlocked door policy is. He never made it personal. For the record, I like both people--I'm just stunned that L didn't realize how horribly insecure that policy is.

    Guard:
    Is it just coincidence that the two hidden names are the hidden names from the anime "Death Note"?

    Pure coincidence. Never seen Death Note (tho I am aware that one of the main characters is named "L", it wasn't my intention).

  • jk (unregistered) in reply to peterchen
    peterchen:
    Whxy not have dedicated burglar doors? They could open ONLY from the outside, and lead into a small cabinet. Security could pick them off once a wee.

    damned unsporting, I say - shooting a fellow when he's having a wee.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to peterchen
    peterchen:
    Whxy not have dedicated burglar doors? They could open ONLY from the outside, and lead into a small cabinet. Security could pick them off once a wee.

    once a pee?

  • notme (unregistered) in reply to Rob
    Rob:
    See it could have actually been a great trap to catch the people robbing the place, have the doors lock from the inside once the alarm is tripped!

    Robber comes up, opens door from outside, alarm trips, he dashes in, door closes, locks. Hes locked in with all the equipment he tried to steal, he gets caught. One less robber on the streets, great success!

    This plan would also be able to cater for the aforementioned concern of killer bees, with the added safety feature of not letting you back out until morning when people come in for work (since if they are coming in to work the bees have gone right?) :)

    I don't think this would work.

    Those fire-protection laws have a very simple goal: Everybody who happens to be inside the building must be able to get outside quickly at any time, regardless of any other circumstances, regardless of why they're in there in the first place. This includes robbers.

  • notme (unregistered) in reply to OP
    OP:
    Pure coincidence. Never seen Death Note (tho I am aware that one of the main characters is named "L", it wasn't my intention).

    (Going far off-topic...)

    I haven't seen the anime, but I've read the manga. If you like suspense thrillers with a mystical touch, I can only recommend it.

  • The Fake WTF (unregistered)
    I run around to the main entrance and enter as soon as our Office Manager (who I'll call L) shuts off the alarm

    JUST AS PLANNED!

    (/death note)

Leave a comment on “Security Downupgrades”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

« Return to Article