The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

Wanna trade your slurper collegue for my watching-gay-porn-ads-at-full-volume collegue? Today I realised I don't mind being distracted by slurpers as much.

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

If you don't understand the difference between take a financial risk and try to make people work for free keep stealin from the safe because you aren't ready for real life.

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

xaade:
English Man:
Eat your breakfast on your own time, nobody wants to watch you slurp cereal just so you can proudly claim to be in at 8.30 every day.

When you stop forcing me to waste 2 hours of my life driving in to work instead of just working from home, then you won't see me eating at my desk.

Why get a job that takes you two hours to get to?

xaade · 2013-05-15 Reply Admin

Paul Neumann:
ThatSlyQuarian:
Hey its good to know the world handed you your jobs on a silver paltter. But for the rest of us we have to fight to get our jobs even if they are 2 hours away. Now I understand where the guy is coming from. Trying to justify eating his breakfast at work. Lets say even if he had a 5 minute commute he may still do it. It all depends on his situation at home. Maybe he has an abusive wife and wants to get away for a while. Or maybe hes alone and just figures it'd be more convenient to just at at work.
Regardless on why he does it. What gives you the right to complain about it? If he slurps, so what listen to someone elses life then. Captcha: Populus - The group most people here think they are above.
Employment is a two way street. One chooses their employer just the same as an employer chooses its employees. I've been hired, passed over (and may even be fired someday) for positions every bit as much as I have accepted, declined, and/or vacated those very same positions.

If you're not enough of a professional to understand that, than it is obvious why you would consider someone is to have been "handed you your jobs on a silver paltter". It has nothing to do with thinking one is above the populus and everything to do with being secure in one's abilities and talents.

Then what about fellow employees doesn't count in that two-way street.

You're expecting a company to create a policy to disallow eating at a desk because YOU don't like it. Then if anyone complains about the policy YOU just forced down their throat (not being the owner mind you), then you are telling them that it's their fault they picked the job.

Employment is a two-way street. I expect the company to be lenient on certain things if they intend to be strict on others. If not, you're right, I find another damn job.

But I'll be damned if people tell me I have no right to complain about anything on the job just because I'm not taking a financial risk.

How about the financial risk that I just passed up 10 other jobs for this one only to find out the company is going bankrupt next month. Then I have to look for a job, and if the market is slim, I'm screwed. Oh yeah, I was supposed to check the financial state of a company that broke the law and lied about it's financial state.

Sorry, being employed is a risk. You share the risk. Besides, if the owner cares so much about the risk but didn't bother becoming Incorporated, then it's their stupid loss.

I won't ask for as much money as my employer because they are taking the risk, but I'll be damned if I can't negotiate terms and elect a place where some dope-head doesn't bitch about me eating at my desk.

At the point where I can't find a job where I can eat at my desk, then I'll start a business.

chubertdev · 2013-05-15 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Technically (at least, in Europe) you *have* to be given, by your employer, at least half an hour's lunch break. Whether you take it or not is up to you, but if you are regularly skipping lunch your boss ought to be aware of it and offer you the opportunity to discuss your propensity for presenteeism.
In these circumstances, unless you have your own personal office space, it is considered good manners to limit the food you eat at your desk to non-smelly, non-messy and non-noisy. Cheese sandwiches are fine, a plate of Louisiana gumbo or a full Indian takeaway are generally considered not.

Until recently here in California, a half hour lunch break was mandatory. Unpaid. But at least we had a paid fifteen minute break for every four hours worked.

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

N/A:
Wanna trade your slurper collegue for my watching-gay-porn-ads-at-full-volume collegue? Today I realised I don't mind being distracted by slurpers as much.

If they are done properly, gay porn ads should also include slurpers so there you go, you have it both ways.

Matt Westwood · 2013-05-15 Reply Admin

chubertdev:
Matt Westwood:
Technically (at least, in Europe) you *have* to be given, by your employer, at least half an hour's lunch break. Whether you take it or not is up to you, but if you are regularly skipping lunch your boss ought to be aware of it and offer you the opportunity to discuss your propensity for presenteeism.
In these circumstances, unless you have your own personal office space, it is considered good manners to limit the food you eat at your desk to non-smelly, non-messy and non-noisy. Cheese sandwiches are fine, a plate of Louisiana gumbo or a full Indian takeaway are generally considered not.

Until recently here in California, a half hour lunch break was mandatory. Unpaid. But at least we had a paid fifteen minute break for every four hours worked.

Well, unpaid goes without saying. You "clock on" when you get in, you "clock off" for lunch, and similarly when you get back from lunch and finish for the night.

As for fifteen minute breaks, if you have a real job and not some penance that a robot could do, you get to wander into the kitchen (or over to the coffee machine) to make coffee at will, it being understood that caffeine is program fuel.

If you have a boss who watches the clock and takes note of exactly when and where his colleagues are, that's when you consider contacting outside sources for alternative employment.

chubertdev · 2013-05-15 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Well, unpaid goes without saying. You "clock on" when you get in, you "clock off" for lunch, and similarly when you get back from lunch and finish for the night.
As for fifteen minute breaks, if you have a real job and not some penance that a robot could do, you get to wander into the kitchen (or over to the coffee machine) to make coffee at will, it being understood that caffeine is program fuel.

If you have a boss who watches the clock and takes note of exactly when and where his colleagues are, that's when you consider contacting outside sources for alternative employment.

Indeed. \m/

Gotta love my current job where if you respond to emails and show that you're actually working on stuff, that's all that they care about. A lot less clock-watching, a lot more actual work that I can do.

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

Cyberzombie:
stew:
I see that day of whistle-blowing and ethics training paid off. I guess as long as nobody was taking office pens home at the end of the day....
Pens? What are those?

you find them on Pen Island. www.penisland.com

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

xaade:
markfiend:
xaade:
When you stop forcing me to waste 2 hours of my life driving in to work instead of just working from home, then you won't see me eating at my desk.
Move closer to where you work or get a job closer to where you live. You're the one "forcing" yourself to do all that travelling.

If we're going to split hairs then let's do.

I know there's a point where I make my decisions and have to live with them. But there's also the point that work for pay is to be a just exchange.

The rules, pay them, 40 hours a week, time as work done. However, those rules don't take into account that I drive 2 hours to work and back. Who's to pay for those two hours (the time). Suppose it's fair that I do. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for the lunch I have to eat, because they must get my 40 hours. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for any restroom break? Water break? Stop to think break? Is brainstorming mine or theirs, because there's no measurable work done during a brainstorming session that produces no ideas.

If we're going to get this pedantic over time, then, why when your business is busy, do I have to spend over 40 hours to accommodate the owner, but if we're not busy I still have to accommodate the owner's need to feel productive and complete 40 hours of work done, which I can't do anyway. (Run-on is there on purpose to show the disconnect in thought).

At this point, I think it can be deduced that the common salary system is not just.

Which, I would hope that any reasonable employer would understand, and to promote compensation for that lack of justice in a salary situation, allow their employees courtesies like not counting time in the restroom against them. Which, in my opinion, is no different than the courtesy to allow an employee to eat at their desk.

Because, in all fairness, if I were to take lunch on my time, would I have to charge time back against the company for any productive thought occurring during my lunch "break"?

Such a mangle of so many different whinges - some legit, others less so....

Basically a job is the result of someone wants something done, and someone is willing to do it for some price.

The empployer wants you to do stuff in the workplace at certain times, and is willing to offer certain money for that. At some stage, you agreed to that. Perhaps your employer would have been willing to negotiate a lesser hourly rate, with an added "call out" fee to cover the cost of your commute; or perhaps they wouldn't have. Ultimately, who pays for the commute comes down to who needs the agreement more - if the employer is confident they can easily replace you if you want them to pay for the commute then they're unlikely to pay for it. Likewise, if paying it shits you so much you'd be looking for work elsewhere - that either subsudises your daily travel, offers a better package or is clsoer to your home....

We all like to whinge about how nasty the world is to us (apparently it's hardwired in our brain to be pessimistic) but ultimately it's a situation you are in control of, and only you are being unreasonable. If your work REALLY is so bad as you make out, there must be something else around that you could do. Perhaps you're simply over-valuing your own contribution.... And in case you say "but all the other places will screw me the same": That sort of suggests that you're not being "screwed" at all - you're just seeing the norm as being against you....

For the record, I am a BIG fan of telecommuting, but I understand that for some employers (whether justified or not) there is a fear that they lose control if you work from home - that you might not be available when they need you; or that you may spend too much time playing WoW (sorry, not a gamer, so I'm sure that's a bit 90s) and not enough actually doing something useful that they're paying you for....

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

Jim:
xaade:
markfiend:
xaade:
When you stop forcing me to waste 2 hours of my life driving in to work instead of just working from home, then you won't see me eating at my desk.
Move closer to where you work or get a job closer to where you live. You're the one "forcing" yourself to do all that travelling.

If we're going to split hairs then let's do.

I know there's a point where I make my decisions and have to live with them. But there's also the point that work for pay is to be a just exchange.

The rules, pay them, 40 hours a week, time as work done. However, those rules don't take into account that I drive 2 hours to work and back. Who's to pay for those two hours (the time). Suppose it's fair that I do. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for the lunch I have to eat, because they must get my 40 hours. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for any restroom break? Water break? Stop to think break? Is brainstorming mine or theirs, because there's no measurable work done during a brainstorming session that produces no ideas.

If we're going to get this pedantic over time, then, why when your business is busy, do I have to spend over 40 hours to accommodate the owner, but if we're not busy I still have to accommodate the owner's need to feel productive and complete 40 hours of work done, which I can't do anyway. (Run-on is there on purpose to show the disconnect in thought).

At this point, I think it can be deduced that the common salary system is not just.

Which, I would hope that any reasonable employer would understand, and to promote compensation for that lack of justice in a salary situation, allow their employees courtesies like not counting time in the restroom against them. Which, in my opinion, is no different than the courtesy to allow an employee to eat at their desk.

Because, in all fairness, if I were to take lunch on my time, would I have to charge time back against the company for any productive thought occurring during my lunch "break"?

Such a mangle of so many different whinges - some legit, others less so....
Basically a job is the result of someone wants something done, and someone is willing to do it for some price.

The empployer wants you to do stuff in the workplace at certain times, and is willing to offer certain money for that. At some stage, you agreed to that. Perhaps your employer would have been willing to negotiate a lesser hourly rate, with an added "call out" fee to cover the cost of your commute; or perhaps they wouldn't have. Ultimately, who pays for the commute comes down to who needs the agreement more - if the employer is confident they can easily replace you if you want them to pay for the commute then they're unlikely to pay for it. Likewise, if paying it shits you so much you'd be looking for work elsewhere - that either subsudises your daily travel, offers a better package or is clsoer to your home....

We all like to whinge about how nasty the world is to us (apparently it's hardwired in our brain to be pessimistic) but ultimately it's a situation you are in control of, and only you are being unreasonable. If your work REALLY is so bad as you make out, there must be something else around that you could do. Perhaps you're simply over-valuing your own contribution.... And in case you say "but all the other places will screw me the same": That sort of suggests that you're not being "screwed" at all - you're just seeing the norm as being against you....

For the record, I am a BIG fan of telecommuting, but I understand that for some employers (whether justified or not) there is a fear that they lose control if you work from home - that you might not be available when they need you; or that you may spend too much time playing WoW (sorry, not a gamer, so I'm sure that's a bit 90s) and not enough actually doing something useful that they're paying you for....

and regarding the side-question of paid/unpaid breaks....there's something that works in your favour.

If you have an idea at lunch (or even work on an idea during lunch, provided it doesn't directly affect your employer's system) then the IP for that idea belongs to you (if you're not paid lunch). If you work on an idea during work time, then the IP of the idea is considered your employers... of course, you might live in a different part of the world....

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

C-Derb:
xaade:
markfiend:
xaade:
When you stop forcing me to waste 2 hours of my life driving in to work instead of just working from home, then you won't see me eating at my desk.
Move closer to where you work or get a job closer to where you live. You're the one "forcing" yourself to do all that travelling.

If we're going to split hairs then let's do.

I know there's a point where I make my decisions and have to live with them. But there's also the point that work for pay is to be a just exchange.

The rules, pay them, 40 hours a week, time as work done. However, those rules don't take into account that I drive 2 hours to work and back. Who's to pay for those two hours (the time). Suppose it's fair that I do. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for the lunch I have to eat, because they must get my 40 hours. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for any restroom break? Water break? Stop to think break? Is brainstorming mine or theirs, because there's no measurable work done during a brainstorming session that produces no ideas.

If we're going to get this pedantic over time, then, why when your business is busy, do I have to spend over 40 hours to accommodate the owner, but if we're not busy I still have to accommodate the owner's need to feel productive and complete 40 hours of work done, which I can't do anyway. (Run-on is there on purpose to show the disconnect in thought).

At this point, I think it can be deduced that the common salary system is not just.

Which, I would hope that any reasonable employer would understand, and to promote compensation for that lack of justice in a salary situation, allow their employees courtesies like not counting time in the restroom against them. Which, in my opinion, is no different than the courtesy to allow an employee to eat at their desk.

Because, in all fairness, if I were to take lunch on my time, would I have to charge time back against the company for any productive thought occurring during my lunch "break"?

Don't forget the lack of energy and motivation that you bring into the office with you after fighting your way through traffic for an hour. Any employer who is flexible on work schedule and location is doing themselves a favor.
It's easy to say that you can just move closer to work, but the reality is a different story when you have a mortgage and kids.

That may be true, but it's irrelevant, because it still doesn't justify a subsidy on your commute - because the necessity to have the job is yours not theirs. If they thought you were indispensible, they may consider offering to help pay your commute just to retain you, but seems that's not the case. If you need the work more than they need you (specifically you) to do the work, then it really isn't their concern what you do outside of productive (paid) hours - even if that includes long drives/train rides....

2013-05-15 Reply Admin

xaade:
Paul Neumann:
ThatSlyQuarian:
Hey its good to know the world handed you your jobs on a silver paltter. But for the rest of us we have to fight to get our jobs even if they are 2 hours away. Now I understand where the guy is coming from. Trying to justify eating his breakfast at work. Lets say even if he had a 5 minute commute he may still do it. It all depends on his situation at home. Maybe he has an abusive wife and wants to get away for a while. Or maybe hes alone and just figures it'd be more convenient to just at at work.
Regardless on why he does it. What gives you the right to complain about it? If he slurps, so what listen to someone elses life then. Captcha: Populus - The group most people here think they are above.
Employment is a two way street. One chooses their employer just the same as an employer chooses its employees. I've been hired, passed over (and may even be fired someday) for positions every bit as much as I have accepted, declined, and/or vacated those very same positions.

If you're not enough of a professional to understand that, than it is obvious why you would consider someone is to have been "handed you your jobs on a silver paltter". It has nothing to do with thinking one is above the populus and everything to do with being secure in one's abilities and talents.

Then what about fellow employees doesn't count in that two-way street.

You're expecting a company to create a policy to disallow eating at a desk because YOU don't like it. Then if anyone complains about the policy YOU just forced down their throat (not being the owner mind you), then you are telling them that it's their fault they picked the job.

Employment is a two-way street. I expect the company to be lenient on certain things if they intend to be strict on others. If not, you're right, I find another damn job.

But I'll be damned if people tell me I have no right to complain about anything on the job just because I'm not taking a financial risk.

How about the financial risk that I just passed up 10 other jobs for this one only to find out the company is going bankrupt next month. Then I have to look for a job, and if the market is slim, I'm screwed. Oh yeah, I was supposed to check the financial state of a company that broke the law and lied about it's financial state.

Sorry, being employed is a risk. You share the risk. Besides, if the owner cares so much about the risk but didn't bother becoming Incorporated, then it's their stupid loss.

I won't ask for as much money as my employer because they are taking the risk, but I'll be damned if I can't negotiate terms and elect a place where some dope-head doesn't bitch about me eating at my desk.

At the point where I can't find a job where I can eat at my desk, then I'll start a business.

You passed up 10 other jobs for a 2 hour commute to a company that's going bankrupt?

you're not very smart, are you?

2013-05-16 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
If I'm concentrating on an intellect-intensive task (happens on occasion) I do *not* want to be distract by the sight, sound and stink of you gobbling away at the disgusting vomit that calls itself "cereal". Think on that, you selfish cunts.

Tough shit. You probably do a lot of annoying things too, like existing.

lucidfox · 2013-05-16 Reply Admin

The Architect, having ruled over His Project with an iron fist for three years,

gave Neo the hard choice between saving the Matrix and saving his dying love, the president's daughter.

willsonjack · 2013-05-16 Reply Admin

In fact, this is normal in my country.

2013-05-16 Reply Admin

It would seem that mortgage & kids issue isn't understood by the 'mom's basement' / virgin crowd here.

2013-05-17 Reply Admin

It was way back in 2007, when our IT contract for an insurance company was over and the new contract was outsourced to a vendor from an eastern European country. We had a multitude of applications involving different technologies and platforms. So the vendor had multiple teams setup for Knowledge transition(through emails and telecon). very soon we realized that we are talking to the same voice (claiming to be a diff person) in all the calls. One day we confronted him and he sheepishly agreed that he has been joining all the calls. the reason: no one else in any of the teams setup was fluent in English to understand or ask questions.

2013-05-21 Reply Admin

jay:
xaade:
markfiend:
xaade:
When you stop forcing me to waste 2 hours of my life driving in to work instead of just working from home, then you won't see me eating at my desk.
Move closer to where you work or get a job closer to where you live. You're the one "forcing" yourself to do all that travelling.

If we're going to split hairs then let's do.

I know there's a point where I make my decisions and have to live with them. But there's also the point that work for pay is to be a just exchange.

The rules, pay them, 40 hours a week, time as work done. However, those rules don't take into account that I drive 2 hours to work and back. Who's to pay for those two hours (the time). Suppose it's fair that I do. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for the lunch I have to eat, because they must get my 40 hours. Now, I'm also supposed to pay time for any restroom break? Water break? Stop to think break? Is brainstorming mine or theirs, because there's no measurable work done during a brainstorming session that produces no ideas.

If we're going to get this pedantic over time, then, why when your business is busy, do I have to spend over 40 hours to accommodate the owner, but if we're not busy I still have to accommodate the owner's need to feel productive and complete 40 hours of work done, which I can't do anyway. (Run-on is there on purpose to show the disconnect in thought).

At this point, I think it can be deduced that the common salary system is not just.

Which, I would hope that any reasonable employer would understand, and to promote compensation for that lack of justice in a salary situation, allow their employees courtesies like not counting time in the restroom against them. Which, in my opinion, is no different than the courtesy to allow an employee to eat at their desk.

Because, in all fairness, if I were to take lunch on my time, would I have to charge time back against the company for any productive thought occurring during my lunch "break"?

I've never had a job where the company monitored how much time I spent in the restroom or on coffee breaks. Or reading tdwtf.

I don't know about you, but when I take a job, I try to take into account all the pros and cons of that job. How many hours will I really have to work? How long is the commute? Is the work interesting or boring? What is the base pay? Are there bonuses, and if so, how much? What are the benefits?

If a job requires you to work 50 hours per week but you judged the salary as if you were working 40 hours per week, then you've miscalculated the rate of pay. If the company lied to you about how much work was involved, you have grounds for complaint. If not, if they told you it would be 50 hours per week at such-and-such a salary and you accepted that as adequate compensation for that much work, then what is it that you're complaining about?

Likewise, when you took the job you surely knew, or could have figured out, how long it would take to get to work each morning. If you miscalculated that, there's no way that that's the company's fault. Well, not unless they moved the office after you took the job.

If at the time you made the deal you thought it was fair, then what's your complaint now? If you didn't think it was fair at the time, why did you take the job? And if your answer is, "Because it was the best I could get" or "Because the alternative was starving to death", then apparently you thought that, given the actual state of the universe, it was a good deal, much as you might have liked a better one.

Hey, I'd love to have a job that pays twice what I'm making now for half the work. Wouldn't we all? But the reality is, my current employer gives me a fair deal, and if I didn't think so, I'd be looking for another job.

Not the OP, but when I got my current job, I didn't even know what STATE I would be working in until halfway through the six week training. Try finding an apartment in a decent area, within a half hour of the office, that you can research and sign the lease for from a thousand miles away. I was hired to do Java coding, then a month after reporting to the client site they decide they want me doing Unix batch scripts. And don't get me started on getting told one day people are coming in too late and you all need to get there before 9am (which I did anyway...I'm usually one of the first people in), then your manager goes and starts scheduling 2 hour meetings that START at 5pm. So is it eight hours a day, or 9-7? Ah, consulting....now I've been here about eight months and they're moving me from coding to performance testing, which runs rotating shifts (24/7, so that includes required weekend and night shifts) when I was told I'd always be 9-5 when I was hired.

Honestly I'm perfectly fine with all that -- the salary is quite comfortable (60k straight outta college, which is more than I know what to do with) and the disorganized nature fits me pretty well -- just pointing out that things can often be FAR more complex than you assume, and there are plenty of places where you can't make those calculations even AFTER being hired. Hell some of the people I went to training with got shipped to a different client in a different state less than a month after starting!

Oh, and just so you don't get the wrong impression of my company, you can always say no to any proposed change and they'll find you something else. Or you can make them happen quicker -- a guy I started with here decided he wanted to move back home to save money. Wasn't even at this site for a year, but within a week of asking for transfer they were setting up interviews for him. Excellent place if you don't know where you want to be next week...could be a real challenge if you've got a five year plan though!

2013-05-29 Reply Admin

RFoxmich:
Shouldn't this have been called the Architect sketch?

haha! +1

"they'll be carried down the corridor, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives..."

2013-06-03 Reply Admin

Doctor_of_ineptitude:
... class Pen: public WritingInstruments { ...

Doctor_of_ineptitude:
class Pen: public WritingInstruments {

Doctor_of_ineptitude:
public WritingInstruments

Doctor_of_ineptitude:
WritingInstruments

Doctor_of_ineptitude:
Instruments

Doctor_of_ineptitude:
...s

Hssssssssss

2014-03-20 Reply Admin

TRWTF is that it took a whole day to add one line to a resume.

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