The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

DELETE * WHERE ARTICLE LIKE WTF

acne · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Hakuin Ekaku:
What is the sound of null?

Does it even produce a sound if null is there to hear it?

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Gerald:
Dear Database Architect,
Directive 595 is as follows.

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a grown-up place. Not null constraints give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution. The fact that you're using them clearly indicates that you're too young and stupid to be using our database. "

As such, please remove from all production databases. And then go away any grow up.

Sincerely, Chief Architect Bert

FTFY

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

A DailyWTF WTF... now the world is complete!

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Wow it's a meta-WTF!

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

null....

Clever, simple and to the point. A true WTF!

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Sometimes null is all you got

acne · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

AverageJon:
Sometimes null is all you got

Often null is all you need!

neminem · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Wow. Three pages and he hasn't fixed it yet? Or is it intentional...? Early April Fools' present?

And the real question: why did I read all three pages of comments, even though I could be quite sure they would contain nothing of value?

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

sammy:
The real WTF is NULL.

No, the real WTF is null.

pitchingchris · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

I'm so disappointed: came here to check out the latest article (and More!) but all I get is null.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Gerald:
Dear Database Architect,
Directive 595 is as follows.

"Not null constraints give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution."

As such, please remove from all production databases.

Sincerely, Chief Architect Gerald

So.. they DID remove it. And then the TDWTF DBA guy took a holiday. Figures.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

neminem:
And the real question: why did I read all three pages of comments, even though I could be quite sure they would contain nothing of value?

Because they usually contain nothing of value. We knew that the same stellar quality would be upheld today.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Do none of you have jobs? Go back to work!

Refer to Directive 1 if you have questions.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Wow, TheDailyWTF gets its own WTF. lol

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Today's WTF:
Do none of you have jobs? Go back to work!
Refer to Directive 1 if you have questions.

Here in Hyderabad it's Friday night already. My share of teh weekly codez is safely in production, I can rest!

UrzaMTG · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

The best part is that, if Alex decides to fix the article, he has to wipe all the comments for being completely irrelevant. Or he has to post a new article and leave this one up as a testament to how dedicated the readers are to analyzing a single word.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

My name:
Best WTF in years!

Not really. This happened about 6 months ago.

pjt33 · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

I thought that if I came back after a couple of hours it would have been fixed, but no. OTOH, at least it has less in the way of annoying obviously false details than the previous article.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Jack Strikes Back:
My name:
Best WTF in years!
Not really. This happened about 6 months ago.

Which is .5 years, doh.

(Yes, it's really a slow day.)

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

I can't spot the problem with this block of code? It passes my lint test.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Best WTF in 6 months!

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Carlos:
I guess Alex had to leave in a rush and his cat finished posting the article. The style looks typical of a cat.

Only if the atom has decayed.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Silly Anonynonymous, Alex runs on whiskey not coffee! Find a good twelve-year single malt, stat!

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

foo:
Herr Otto Flick:
Anonymous Coward:
Coyne:
...if, by "all", you mean "nothing". And I mean, "nothing", because "null" is truly "nothing".
A common misconception. Null is not Nothing (unless you're programming in VB.net). Null is undefined. It means we don't know what the value is.
Please also note that I realise Null strings, Null modems etc have a different interpretation of the term Null. A null string for instance, fits your description, but in reality it's not a null string; it's an empty string.

In real languages (C, C++), NULL has an extremely precisely defined meaning:

#define NULL 0

Its defined by C89. It's best not to be pedantic if you get this sort of thing wrong.
He was talking about Null, and you reply with NULL. That's a completely different name. It's best not to be pedantic if you get this sort of thing wrong.

Like fish in a barrel. Also, have you heard that Android is shit?

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

null

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Traveling, sure right. We know the truth node code bugs just operator error. Alex was probably smashed at the Corner Store Brewery again. --I miss Berea

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Kasper:
sammy:
The real WTF is NULL.
No, the real WTF is null.

Too true.

BentFranklin · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

The Careline is not a WTF at all. They have every justification for cancelling your account if you don't pay.

Also, the gas station pic is clearly photoshopped, and badly at that. Zoom in on the top and right edges of the sign. The jpg 8x8 blocky artifacts have been smoothed out.

What is all this null talk about?

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

yes ! A truly amazing article!

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Update null set null = null where null is null

I like to think I just made everything in the vast unknown just outside the envelope of human knowledge... slightly different. Or maybe this is a succinct way of expressing Heisenberg.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

For this, the sound of one hand golf-clapping

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Yaos:
DELETE * WHERE ARTICLE LIKE WTF

Msg 102, Level 15, State 1, Line 1 Incorrect syntax near '*'.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

If you exclude the parenthesised phrase, you get "I'm is TRWTF". Recursive WTF!

Pim · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

The real WTF is (fill in any language where it's written in lowercase instead of uppercase like the languages that Real Men program in).

Also, "Careline" is not a WTF. It's obviously something that resolves to "care line", I dunno, a phone number for a hospital or something.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Nick N.:
I'm disturbed that no one seems to care that Alex was clearly murdered mid-post.

Quick....we have to get him to surgery time right stat now.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Deliciously meta.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Anonymous Coward:
Coyne:
...if, by "all", you mean "nothing". And I mean, "nothing", because "null" is truly "nothing".
A common misconception. Null is not Nothing (unless you're programming in VB.net). Null is undefined. It means we don't know what the value is.
Please also note that I realise Null strings, Null modems etc have a different interpretation of the term Null. A null string for instance, fits your description, but in reality it's not a null string; it's an empty string.

Umm ... a null string is not an empty string. At least, not in any language I know. A null string is a string variable which has an object pointer or handle of zero, or some other special value that indicates "no object". An empty string is a string object that contains zero characters. The two are completely different, and if you don't believe it, just try writing

    String s=null;
    if (s.equals(""))
    ... etc ...

Moral: If you're going to be pedantic, make sure you have all your facts unimpeachably correct.

Note: If there's a technical error in the above, that's okay, because I'm trying to make fun of pedantry, not practice it.

neminem · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Brad:
I can't spot the problem with this block of code? It passes my lint test.

What? It wouldn't even compile. For at least two reasons. One, it doesn't have a semicolon. Two, even if it did, "only assignment, call, increment, decrement and new object expressions can be used as a statement". Alright, yes, I'm aware, all-lowercase null probably exists as a keyword in other languages than C#, some of which probably even don't require a semicolon to end statements, but are there any common languages that would accept a single constant value as the entirety of a line?

If so, trwtf is [whatever language you were talking about]. :p

And, yep. You're is definitely the real wtf. [sic]

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

bush-leauge planes

<make-fun-of-typo />

Alesix · 2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Alex:
null
UPDATE: aaaannd once again, it turns out I'm (err, the code I wrote) is TRWTF and once again null'd the article on publishing. And guess who didn't store the original. I'm on a very short layover, and the bush-leauge planes I'm on don't have WiFi; so expect a (re-done) update when I land. It was a fun collection, too

[Draft saved]k me about three hours to create this article in ASCII art just to troll you guys.

                                                                  
 _   _                  ______       _  _       
| \ | |                 | ___ \     | |(_)      
|  \| |  ___ __      __ | |_/ / ___ | | _   ___ 
| . ` | / _ \\ \ /\ / / |    / / _ \| || | / __|
| |\  ||  __/ \ V  V /  | |\ \|  __/| || || (__ 
\_| \_/ \___|  \_/\_/   \_| \_|\___||_||_| \___|

 _____                  _        
|_   _|                | |       
  | |  _ __    ___   __| |  ___  
  | | | '_ \  / _ \ / _` | / _ \ 
 _| |_| | | ||  __/| (_| || (_) |
 \___/|_| |_| \___| \__,_| \___/ 

 _____          __  _    _                               
/  ___|        / _|| |  | |                              
\ `--.   ___  | |_ | |_ | |      __ _  _   _   ___  _ __ 
 `--. \ / _ \ |  _|| __|| |     / _` || | | | / _ \| '__|
/\__/ /| (_) || |  | |_ | |____| (_| || |_| ||  __/| |   
\____/  \___/ |_|   \__|\_____/ \__,_| \__, | \___||_|   
                                        __/ |            
                                       |___/

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

I really wonder if "laskdfa ksd l;fajs;f dkfas;" is going to be an actual part of the article, or if it's just apuokvvlxdkvayhsdkjjznxcl

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

I really wonder if "laskdfa ksd l;fajs;f dkfas;" is going to be an actual part of the article, or if it's just another reference to the WTF'd up article.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
I definitely appreciate the sponsor of null! :)

There was me thinking 'null' IS the sponsor

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

neminem:
Brad:
I can't spot the problem with this block of code? It passes my lint test.
What? It wouldn't even compile. For at least two reasons. One, it doesn't have a semicolon. Two, even if it did, "only assignment, call, increment, decrement and new object expressions can be used as a statement". Alright, yes, I'm aware, all-lowercase null probably exists as a keyword in other languages than C#, some of which probably even don't require a semicolon to end statements, but are there any common languages that would accept a single constant value as the entirety of a line?
If so, trwtf is [whatever language you were talking about]. :p

And, yep. You're is definitely the real wtf. [sic]

This is perfectly valid javascript (useless, but valid):

<script type="text/javascript">
null
</script>

Oracle SQL allows: NULL;

It's actually a useful construct at times.

Not sure that makes them trwtf. Not that either language doesn't qualify as trwtf at times.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Please tell me it was a Happy Fun cartoon.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

nullisgood:
neminem:
Brad:
I can't spot the problem with this block of code? It passes my lint test.
What? It wouldn't even compile. For at least two reasons. One, it doesn't have a semicolon. Two, even if it did, "only assignment, call, increment, decrement and new object expressions can be used as a statement". Alright, yes, I'm aware, all-lowercase null probably exists as a keyword in other languages than C#, some of which probably even don't require a semicolon to end statements, but are there any common languages that would accept a single constant value as the entirety of a line?
If so, trwtf is [whatever language you were talking about]. :p

And, yep. You're is definitely the real wtf. [sic]

This is perfectly valid javascript (useless, but valid):
<script type="text/javascript">
null
</script>
Oracle SQL allows: NULL;

It's actually a useful construct at times.

Not sure that makes them trwtf. Not that either language doesn't qualify as trwtf at times.

or Python (and similar in other pseudo-functional/scripting languages): None

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

foo:
bush-leauge planes
<make-fun-of-typo />

Please show some sensitivity. I have a son who is bush. He was no laughing matter, I can assure you. Anyway, that's what I keep telling him.

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

Some damn Yank:
Nick N.:
I'm disturbed that no one seems to care that Alex was clearly murdered mid-post.
Then who pressed the "Enter" key to submit the post? [cue dramatic music: dun Dun DUN!]

Wouldn't have just said "null", instead of writing it out?

2011-12-09 Reply Admin

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Sponsor Appreciation, Careline, laskdfa ksd l;fajs;f dkfas;, and More

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