• MacHaggis (unregistered)

    credible, until the point where they typed it all in.

    So, the interns typed in millions of hexcodes, without any mistakes? And the few mistakes that were made, you could pick out? Sorry, but just....no.

  • wtf (unregistered) in reply to MacHaggis

    really? you take the frist with that comment? I hate you and your family and the horses each of you rode in on.

  • Troll (unregistered)

    "Rick rolled his eyes and explained why this was an extremely unlikely possibility."

    Am I the only one who though that sentence was gonna be a rickroll link?

  • (cs) in reply to MacHaggis
    MacHaggis:
    credible, until the point where they typed it all in.

    So, the interns typed in millions of hexcodes, without any mistakes? And the few mistakes that were made, you could pick out? Sorry, but just....no.

    I have no problems at all believing the story. Of course, the articles are exaggerated, but basically, I see nothing that would make that story a sure hoax.

    Also, maybe they did not used interns but a scanner, and an intern to look over the result.

    That story is - sadly - very believable.

  • (cs)

    Clearly Vince didn't think this through. He didn't include "check the faxed dump for viruses before typing it in character for character" into the process! Now they're SURE to get a virus!

  • wtf (unregistered)

    Rainbow ponys? WTF?

    I think I got a virus

  • (cs)

    Was this C++? I would have looked for uninitialized variables before even contacting the customer. I also would have looked for stack overflows and buffer overruns. C and/or C++ is the devil's playground in most developers hands, idle or not.

  • JamieC (unregistered) in reply to Troll
    Troll:
    "Rick rolled his eyes and explained why this was an extremely unlikely possibility."

    Am I the only one who though that sentence was gonna be a rickroll link?

    Nope, I totally did too.

  • J (unregistered) in reply to frits

    Given that they mention adb, I'd say it's Java.

  • Chris S. (unregistered)

    TRWTF is the phrase "The Customer Is Always Right".

    Even if the customer was right in this case.

  • (cs) in reply to wtf
    wtf:
    UNICORNS, not ponies. Those are absolutely NOT interchangeable; if you are confusing them, you already have a virus - that much is certain.
  • My Name Is Missing (unregistered)

    Sadly most of the PMs I've worked with are like this guy. People like this seem to have the combined IQ of all the peanuts in the world.

  • Migala (unregistered) in reply to Troll
    Troll:
    "Rick rolled his eyes and explained why this was an extremely unlikely possibility."

    Am I the only one who though that sentence was gonna be a rickroll link?

    Check the HTML.

  • Patrick (unregistered) in reply to Troll
    Troll:
    "Rick rolled his eyes and explained why this was an extremely unlikely possibility."

    Am I the only one who though that sentence was gonna be a rickroll link?

    Source:
    Rick rolled his eyes and explained why this was an extremely unlikely possibility. For a half hour, each one of his attempts seemed only to make Vince dumber. "You cannot have them send us a binary file through email!" <!-- But Rick promised that he was never going to give Vince up, never let him down, never run around and desert him. -->
  • ᴺᵃᵍᵉsh (unregistered)

    The really WTF is Rick's company not having dojo full of Six Sigma Black and Green belts. A proper quality program guarantees not having silly quality problems like this. My company, in addition to having CMM level 5 certification, also have some Six Sigma Brown Ropes as well.

  • (cs)

    This is west of intern valuabel time.

  • (cs)

    To me, the real WTF (and what makes the story unbelievable) is, once the Rick found that the customer wasn't a total moron, Rick and the customer didn't just say, "fax me a couple of pages of hex crap while sending me a dump electronically," so would think he won while solving the problem effectively.

    Oh, that and a PM being able to stop technical people from taking the right actions. Fails smell test.

  • (cs)

    What Rick should have said:

    Customer: You work for a bunch of morons Rick: You're right. Fax me a few pages of random hex characters, and then let me download the core dump from your server using {sftp|ftp|whatever}.

    Edit: Darn you golddog, clearly you did not transmit your comment via fax, and beat me by one minute.

  • d (unregistered)

    Vince sounds like the kind of person that should be recycled into paper. Then they could fax back the solution.

  • Rob (unregistered) in reply to Troll

    You were rickrolled in a comment... check the source...

  • ᴺᵃᵍᵉsh (unregistered) in reply to Rob
    Rob:
    You were rickrolled in a comment... check the source...
    No you were rickrolled, the OP didn't look at silly comment.
  • (cs)
    "Someone probably screwed up a decimal point," Rick said.
    It's always some mundane detail.
  • pfft (unregistered)

    Could still catch a virus through the fax machine! Obviously the hex dump should be printed out and photographed on a wooden table.

  • airdrik (unregistered) in reply to TheSHEEEP
    TheSHEEEP:
    MacHaggis:
    credible, until the point where they typed it all in.

    So, the interns typed in millions of hexcodes, without any mistakes? And the few mistakes that were made, you could pick out? Sorry, but just....no.

    I have no problems at all believing the story. Of course, the articles are exaggerated, but basically, I see nothing that would make that story a sure hoax.

    Also, maybe they did not used interns but a scanner, and an intern to look over the result.

    That story is - sadly - very believable.

    Nope, can't use the scanner - you might get a virus!

  • Beat (unregistered)

    there are only tree correct solutions to that

    a) resign b) resign c) Ignore the idiot and use mail

  • (cs) in reply to golddog
    golddog:
    To me, the real WTF (and what makes the story unbelievable) is, once the Rick found that the customer wasn't a total moron, Rick and the customer didn't just say, "fax me a couple of pages of hex crap while sending me a dump electronically," so would think he won while solving the problem effectively.

    Oh, that and a PM being able to stop technical people from taking the right actions. Fails smell test.

    Right... then the next time this happens, Vince can say "just have them fax over the core dump. You remember how quickly that resolved the problem last time, right?"

    No, people need to see the consequence of their asinine dictates. That way they'll make wiser decisions in the future.

    Oh, wait... Vince was PM? I guess this is a no win situation then.

  • apaq11 (unregistered)

    Interns... is there nothing they won't do for a little job experience?

  • Death (unregistered)

    Sigh... somebody should have explained to Vincent that taking such a moronic request to the client is going to destroy any credibility they had. And if that didn't work go do the same to Vincent's boss or the head architect or whoever up in the chain that actually knows whats up. And keep doing that until somebody tells Vincent to shut up and/or fires him. Or seek new employment pronto.

  • BlackBart (unregistered) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Was this C++? I would have looked for uninitialized variables before even contacting the customer. I also would have looked for stack overflows and buffer overruns. C and/or C++ is the devil's playground in most developers hands, idle or not.

    Clearly this wasn't C or C++. C and C++ are not advanced enough to be configured to generate a dump file without a lot of work or adding a dump routine - which Vince would surely have disallowed as being too likely to catch a virus.

  • matt (unregistered) in reply to MacHaggis
    MacHaggis:
    credible, until the point where they typed it all in.

    So, the interns typed in millions of hexcodes, without any mistakes? And the few mistakes that were made, you could pick out? Sorry, but just....no.

    Good job on reading the article.

    TRTWF is Rick listening to Vince

  • Swedish tard (unregistered)

    I have no problems at all believing this story. I've had runins with managers like that on a few occasions. I just usually ignore their opinions just as much as they ignore me. In the off chance they actually remember telling me to do something some asinine way, AND actually check that I did it the way they wanted come back to complain about me not doing it their way, I just ignore them once more. Or tell them that they should do their fucking job and let me do mine.

  • Fil (unregistered)

    Reminds me of my university professor who kept saying (during lectures)

    "If something goes wrong with the database, you have to take a dump and examine it!"

  • (cs)

    An alternative ending to the story ...

    "The Fax machine broke half way through, so it was arranged for the actual paper on which the core dump was made to be delivered by courier. The path of the courier went through the manifestly unhealthy jungles of Central America, and by the time he arrived at his destination he was coughing, and perspiring unhealthily. Part way through the unloading of the paper, he suddenly vomited, and collapsed on the floor in a faint.

    "Two days later the entire company was laid low by a hitherto unknown jungle virus."

  • JKWeb3 (unregistered)

    Yea... not only would I tell him we weren't doing that then ignore him and use e-mail but I would try to get him fired. If that didn't work I would either wait for the fallout and happily get fired or just quit when I grew tired of the shenanigans.

  • (cs)

    ... and did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

    He worked out logs with a pencil.

  • Mike D. (unregistered)

    V: "We might get a virus from a binary file!"

    R: "No problem, we'll have them convert it to text before sending it over. I'll take care of it, and I'll take responsibility if we get a virus. I'll handle it. Now let me cll the client."

    ...

    R: "Hello, $CLIENT?"

    C: "Yes?"

    R: "Can you convert the core file to Base64 and send it over? Make sure the filename ends in ".txt". Thanks!"

  • Robb (unregistered)

    I calmly read this article and calmly accept the WTF.

  • (cs) in reply to golddog
    golddog:
    Oh, that and a PM being able to stop technical people from taking the right actions. Fails smell test.
    I've worked for a few idiots like Vince. The best way to teach them the true level of their own stupidity is to give them what they want, in front of their boss. Print out 5 cases of paper worth of hex dumps and lug it into their office, making sure their boss sees and hears it.

    Then finish with: The next time I try to tell you that things aren't done this way, there's a reason and you should listen. Now can I go do it the sensible way? Or do you really want me to spend weeks doing it this way?

  • FragFrog (unregistered)

    Am I the only one thinking that they might also send over the dump on a thumb drive, then hook up that thumb drive to a non-networked PC, analyze the dump, then format the PC? Even Vince should be convinced that there is no way to transfer a virus if it never touches their network.

    Heck, load it on a netbook, then throw away the netbook, it'll still be cheaper than wasting so many company hours.

  • (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    golddog:
    Oh, that and a PM being able to stop technical people from taking the right actions. Fails smell test.
    I've worked for a few idiots like Vince. The best way to teach them the true level of their own stupidity is to give them what they want, in front of their boss. Print out 5 cases of paper worth of hex dumps and lug it into their office, making sure their boss sees and hears it.

    Then finish with: The next time I try to tell you that things aren't done this way, there's a reason and you should listen. Now can I go do it the sensible way? Or do you really want me to spend weeks doing it this way?

    Agreed. But get the idiot's instructions in writing first.

  • (cs)

    I've been in situations where the boss suddenly takes an unhealthy interest in exactly what we're doing, usually because (as in this case) someone's call has been diverted to him rather than to the helpdesk as it should have been. And the only way to counter it is, indeed, to flannel him (or her) with a misleading account of exactly how one is going to obey his (or her) orders, and then go and follow usual procedures. Fortunately it doesn't happen very often because steps are taken to make sure such calls never get forwarded to the boss again.

    Another bad scenario is when the boss is new in the position and thinks he (or she) is cleverer than anyone else. In that case, prepare CV.

  • (cs)

    "Vince the PM burst into Rick's office like a blister."

    TRWTF is this tortured simile. Remy should seriously consider entering the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Beat
    Beat:
    there are only tree correct solutions to that

    a) Oak b) Maple c) Larch

    FTFY

  • scon (unregistered) in reply to QJo

    Thank you, you made my day with the corniest joke possible. Corny poop jokes never get old, just like double entendres.

    Also, hate the overhyped guy in charge mentality. You have to give me at least a couple of minutes to boot up a laptop at 5 in the morning before I can respond to an email. Sending me an email 60 seconds after the initial email asking where the response is is not productive.

  • some guy (unregistered) in reply to wtf
    wtf:
    Rainbow ponys? WTF?

    I think I got a virus

    NOPE Chuck Testa

  • (cs) in reply to TheSHEEEP
    TheSHEEEP:
    MacHaggis:
    credible, until the point where they typed it all in.

    So, the interns typed in millions of hexcodes, without any mistakes? And the few mistakes that were made, you could pick out? Sorry, but just....no.

    I have no problems at all believing the story. Of course, the articles are exaggerated, but basically, I see nothing that would make that story a sure hoax.

    Also, maybe they did not used interns but a scanner, and an intern to look over the result.

    That story is - sadly - very believable.

    Yes. Especially that I've seen it first hand: the notion that somehow passing "unsafe data" through a human "monk" will automagically make it safe again. It must be something about clueless people and how they think about computing: this is not an isolated incident of someone who thinks like Vince from the story. In fact, just because I've run into some guys who think that way, makes me think the story is true. It was more than a decade ago, and I'm glad I didn't have to work in that place for long at all.

  • the beholder (unregistered)

    Rick should have told Vince how long it would take the interns to type all that crap, and thus they should grab the file in a more sensible manner. "Because it's important that we solve it as soon as possible, right? I assume it is, because of your urgency over a 45-seconds old ticket. Or isn't it urgent anymore?"

  • Bob (unregistered) in reply to FragFrog
    FragFrog:
    Am I the only one thinking that they might also send over the dump on a thumb drive, then hook up that thumb drive to a non-networked PC, analyze the dump, then format the PC? Even Vince should be convinced that there is no way to transfer a virus if it never touches their network.

    Heck, load it on a netbook, then throw away the netbook, it'll still be cheaper than wasting so many company hours.

    No, Vince read the line once about "the only safe computer is one that's unplugged, encased in concrete and stored in a Faraday cage in a bank vault, protected by rabid panthers". He didn't understand it, but he read it, so he thinks that the computronium will flow through the air and infect their machines.

  • (cs) in reply to BlackBart
    BlackBart:
    frits:
    Was this C++? I would have looked for uninitialized variables before even contacting the customer. I also would have looked for stack overflows and buffer overruns. C and/or C++ is the devil's playground in most developers hands, idle or not.

    Clearly this wasn't C or C++. C and C++ are not advanced enough to be configured to generate a dump file without a lot of work or adding a dump routine - which Vince would surely have disallowed as being too likely to catch a virus.

    I think TRWTF is that C/C++ compilers can be at best expected to produce warnings about that. There should be a way to force a C/C++ compiler to simply initialize everything. It should only be disabled on the little (if any) code where benchmarks show significant and useful speed gains.

  • Fred (unregistered) in reply to golddog
    golddog:
    To me, the real WTF (and what makes the story unbelievable) is, once the Rick found that the customer wasn't a total moron, Rick and the customer didn't just say, "fax me a couple of pages of hex crap while sending me a dump electronically," so would think he won while solving the problem effectively.
    This.

    The best way to deal with idiots in positions of power is to let them think they are in charge, while giving them busy-work to keep them out of the way.

    A few rounds of "it won't load into the debugger; there must be a bit wrong somewhere" might even wear the bozo down to the point where it occurs to him to transfer the file electronically -- and as long as it is his idea, there will be no virus.

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