The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
TRWTF is the number of comments referring to Mr. Kashmere as "she"

TRWTF is ignoring comments that do refer to him correctly as 'he' and complaining about comments that wrongly refer to him as 'she'.

shadowman · 2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
gmail's inbox is supposed to refresh automatically. So if she needed to click the refresh button there had to be an issue with the setup. For example, gmail was defaulting to HTML mode due to a very slow connection or an outdated browser. Both of those are issues that John A was supposed to fight.

Um, yeah, that's why the article claimed the problem was, "His Gmail inbox was not automatically refreshing."

Even in terms of workarounds, though, the refresh button is overkill. Also one could just click on the Inbox link.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Anon:
TRWTF is people who own cats. When is the last time a cat did something useful - like notify somebody that little Timmy had fallen down a well?

So the choice is between paying for a cat that does not do much (a high-maintenance & fickle blanket) and Timmy that gets himself in endless and costly messes?

My choice is clear.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Anon:
TRWTF is people who own cats. When is the last time a cat did something useful - like notify somebody that little Timmy had fallen down a well?

I once knew a pussy who liked it when Timmy "went down the well".

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
gmail's inbox is supposed to refresh automatically. So if she needed to click the refresh button there had to be an issue with the setup. For example, gmail was defaulting to HTML mode due to a very slow connection or an outdated browser. Both of those are issues that John A was supposed to fight.

That, and why would a student figure he should go help a teacher with his email...?

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.

He who can does. He who can't teaches He who can't teach teaches gym He who can't teach gym teaches health I forgot how the rest of that went, and where the true bottom of the barrel was....

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.

I've seen managers who struggle to dress themselves in the morning. In fact, I've seen managers who struggle to do anything before about 1300 Wednesday....

C-Octothorpe · 2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Rats:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.
He who can does. He who can't teaches He who can't teach teaches gym He who can't teach gym teaches health I forgot how the rest of that went, and where the true bottom of the barrel was....

Marketing.

C-Octothorpe · 2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.
I've seen managers who struggle to dress themselves in the morning. In fact, I've seen managers who struggle to do anything before about 1300 Wednesday....

Why are you perving on your managers? Is that why you always get fired?

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

As a first resort, instead of rebooting his computer, Mr. Kashmere should have tried formatting the hard disk.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Rats:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.
He who can does. He who can't teaches He who can't teach teaches gym He who can't teach gym teaches health I forgot how the rest of that went, and where the true bottom of the barrel was....

What is you being implying?

Matt Westwood · 2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Rats:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.
He who can does. He who can't teaches He who can't teach teaches gym He who can't teach gym teaches health I forgot how the rest of that went, and where the true bottom of the barrel was....

He who can't teach criticises. He who can't criticise teaches lit crit.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Beautiful plumage!

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.
I've seen managers who struggle to dress themselves in the morning. In fact, I've seen managers who struggle to do anything before about 1300 Wednesday....
Why are you perving on your managers? Is that why you always get fired?

Mate, hard to miss them getting changed in the middle of the office.

And I've never been fired....

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Soup:
Strange, the first thing I thought when I saw the laptop was that some spurned lover was spelling out "suk my dyk"

I saw this too (except I suppose it would be "sukmydyk" as the space bar is gone). I wonder whether this is the result of the in-house IT fixing all the porn?

Silverhill · 2012-02-07 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
F:
C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.
Nonsense. The truly effective manager delegates tasks like that.
You're absolutely right. Then the manager is able to do the "real" work, which is find ways to circumvent the company proxy so he can browse "industry related" websites.

And, of course, seek out important government assignments.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

He who can't teach lit crit teaches programming.

captcha: incassum - how the Incas calculated the date of the end of the world

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Friedrice The great:
He who can't teach lit crit teaches programming.
captcha: incassum - how the Incas calculated the date of the end of the world

He who can't find Quote button uses Reply button instead.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

I ran across some porn while maintaining a workstation. I brought it up to that person's manager, who also happened to be his father. I said:

"Joe, I found some porn on Tim's computer last weekend. Now, I don't go around looking on computers to find dirty secrets, but in the course of maintaining them I do see some stuff from time to time that someone might find embarrassing if they knew I saw it. For example, Phillippino she-males..."

I paused and watched his smile disappear as he thought about that for a second.

"... is NOT something I saw, but still I doubt most people really want their boss to know anything about what categories of porn they do like."

We had a good laugh, and I never had that particular problem again.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

It's still early, but I nominate "The 10 Key" for inclusion in The Best WTF of 2012.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Kashmere is not laughing mater. Meny terorist atacks teke place every single day hurting inocents.
[image]

That's Kashmere? I don't see how an explosion could be anything but an improvement.

-Harrow.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

PG4:
...The cat is 5 years old now and still loves to sit on my lap while I use the company laptop. He doesn't pull on the keys anymore, he has to have his paws on my hands...

He doesn't want to pull the keycaps off, he wants you to pull the keycaps off.

-Harrow.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

foo:
FRIST!
At least I assume so, but I don't feel like rebooting my computer in order to find out.

This is the only 'First' comment that doesn't make the poster look like a complete tool

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Nabhi Singh:
My african grey parrot will make my keyboard look like that in about 10 minutes. I have gone through about 5 keyboards in the past 2 years (because not only does he take the keys off, he rips off the tabs on the back of the key, so they will no longer go in properly) So I always keep my eyes out for $5 keyboards.

You should also watch for free nonfunctional or obsolete keyboards and give them to your parrot, as decoys, or maybe just to brighten his day.

-Harrow.

2012-02-07 Reply Admin

Harrow:
Nagesh:
Kashmere is not laughing mater. Meny terorist atacks teke place every single day hurting inocents.
That's Kashmere? I don't see how an explosion could be anything but an improvement.
-Harrow.

Kashmir (what I assume nagesh meant by "Kashmere") is a sparsely populated cold, arid, mountainous region that has indeed had a history of violence due to border disputes. The photo, however, is of Kolkata, a vast metropolis in a wet tropical part of India. Kolkata is also known as Calcutta, as contained in the file name of the photo.

Matt Westwood · 2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Just saying:
Harrow:
Nagesh:
Kashmere is not laughing mater. Meny terorist atacks teke place every single day hurting inocents.
That's Kashmere? I don't see how an explosion could be anything but an improvement.
-Harrow.

Kashmir (what I assume nagesh meant by "Kashmere") is a sparsely populated cold, arid, mountainous region that has indeed had a history of violence due to border disputes. The photo, however, is of Kolkata, a vast metropolis in a wet tropical part of India. Kolkata is also known as Calcutta, as contained in the file name of the photo.

The real WTF is fighting over it (Kashmir, that is). I mean, is Jesus Christ buried there or something?

Arancaytar · 2012-02-08 Reply Admin

When questioned, the user of this laptop claimed that his cat had been playing with it...

This would work even better as the punchline of the previous story...

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Just saying:
Harrow:
Nagesh:
Kashmere is not laughing mater. Meny terorist atacks teke place every single day hurting inocents.
That's Kashmere? I don't see how an explosion could be anything but an improvement.
-Harrow.

Kashmir (what I assume nagesh meant by "Kashmere") is a sparsely populated cold, arid, mountainous region that has indeed had a history of violence due to border disputes. The photo, however, is of Kolkata, a vast metropolis in a wet tropical part of India. Kolkata is also known as Calcutta, as contained in the file name of the photo.

The real WTF is fighting over it (Kashmir, that is). I mean, is Jesus Christ buried there or something?

The region contains the headwaters of some important rivers, and the area may have some fossil fuel resources, but AFAIK the main reasons for the conflict are cultural/religious and historical. There may be some strategic value, but that would seem less likely in this century. Short answer: who knows? Multiple processes trying to simultaneously gain R/W access to the same resources in the same physical location?

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

iToad:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.

Those who can't do, teach, or manage, go into upper management.

we shall call it... "The CTO".

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

deep thought:
iToad:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.

Those who can't do, teach, or manage, go into upper management.

we shall call it... "The CTO".

Promoted until the "help to harm" ratio is so obviously weighted towards "harm" that they cannot possibly move any further up. That's when they either leave, or are headhunted by another organisation for their rapid rise.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Harrow:
Nagesh:
Kashmere is not laughing mater. Meny terorist atacks teke place every single day hurting inocents.
[image]
That's Kashmere? I don't see how an explosion could be anything but an improvement.

-Harrow.

No. That is a generic Nageshstan image which he's posted before.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

The repetition evident in the replies to comments on this site is a bit boring.

The fact that the photo posted by "Nagesh" was not Kashmir had already been discussed, and now the conversation starts all over again. I know this is completely off-topic (surprise!), but this type of thing is really common here, and seems unneccesary.

Maybe if the CS was a bit more sophisticated, and showed the number of responses to each comment, (eg an "xxx replies to this comment" link instead of the almost useless "reply" button), there might be a reduction in the amount of C-tic-tac-toe type cruft that tends to build up. The comments are one of the most entertaining parts of TDWTF, so they could do with a li'l love. IMHO.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

I'd have named that folder "60 Greatly Important Government Assignments"... A name should be descriptive of its contents, isn't it?

no laughing matter · 2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Me get bored with same:
The repetition evident in the replies to comments on this site is a bit boring.

Please show some sensitivity! The Bob's son meme was boring once and i can assure you he was confusingly similar to me!

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Just saying:
Harrow:
Nagesh:
Kashmere is not laughing mater. Meny terorist atacks teke place every single day hurting inocents.
That's Kashmere? I don't see how an explosion could be anything but an improvement.
-Harrow.

Kashmir (what I assume nagesh meant by "Kashmere") is a sparsely populated cold, arid, mountainous region that has indeed had a history of violence due to border disputes.

Here in Hyderabad, we are also having Wikipeda.

Kivi · 2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Me get bored with same:
The repetition evident in the replies to comments on this site is a bit boring.
The fact that the photo posted by "Nagesh" was not Kashmir had already been discussed, and now the conversation starts all over again. I know this is completely off-topic (surprise!), but this type of thing is really common here, and seems unneccesary.

Maybe if the CS was a bit more sophisticated, and showed the number of responses to each comment, (eg an "xxx replies to this comment" link instead of the almost useless "reply" button), there might be a reduction in the amount of C-tic-tac-toe type cruft that tends to build up. The comments are one of the most entertaining parts of TDWTF, so they could do with a li'l love. IMHO.

Also the ability to vote on comments. I'd give thumbs up to this one.

QJo · 2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.
I've seen managers who struggle to dress themselves in the morning. In fact, I've seen managers who struggle to do anything before about 1300 Wednesday....
Why are you perving on your managers? Is that why you always get fired?
Mate, hard to miss them getting changed in the middle of the office.
And I've never been fired....

I distinctly remember walking into the mens' room at one office I used to work at, and encountering one of my colleagues standing there in his underpants washing his dck in the handbasin. (* shudder **)

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

geoffrey:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.

Disagree. In any good organization, the star performers are the ones who make management.

Yeah, yeah, I'm feeding the troll...

It's usually the most mediocre people that get promoted. Top performers are too valuable to be promoted out of their role, underperformers generally get "asked to find employment elsewhere". That leaves the middle-of-the-road to make it into management.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

QJo:
Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.
I've seen managers who struggle to dress themselves in the morning. In fact, I've seen managers who struggle to do anything before about 1300 Wednesday....
Why are you perving on your managers? Is that why you always get fired?
Mate, hard to miss them getting changed in the middle of the office.
And I've never been fired....

I distinctly remember walking into the mens' room at one office I used to work at, and encountering one of my colleagues standing there in his underpants washing his dck in the handbasin. (* shudder **)

His duck?

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

After me, everyone. Nagesh is the greatest what the fuck on this site.

C-Octothorpe · 2012-02-08 Reply Admin

QJo:
Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Sewer:
C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.
I've seen managers who struggle to dress themselves in the morning. In fact, I've seen managers who struggle to do anything before about 1300 Wednesday....
Why are you perving on your managers? Is that why you always get fired?
Mate, hard to miss them getting changed in the middle of the office.
And I've never been fired....
I distinctly remember walking into the mens' room at one office I used to work at, and encountering one of my colleagues standing there in his underpants washing his dck in the handbasin. (* shudder **)

That's disgusting!!! That's what the sink in the break-room is for...

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

yolly:
That, and why would a student figure he should go help a teacher with his email...?

That's remarkably common in my experience.

(insert wavy "flashback" effect here)

Back in the mid-90s, my school's IT admins were also teachers (Math and Physics, if memory served). During my grade 11 Physics class (taught by one of those teachers), an intro to computing class was taught by an English teacher. I can only assume it was a case of "we need a teacher for this space and you're available", because the guy was not what you would call technically-knowledgeable. (But then, intro-computing at that time was Typing + Turning on a computer, so it probably washes out).

Anyhow - Mr. English teacher kept running into problems, and paging Mr. Physics to come and help out. Of course, no teacher means the physics class is going no-where. And since the problems tended towards "plug in the keyboard", "the mouse goes on the table, not the screen", "reboot"... Mr. Physics started sending the more technically-inclined students (myself and my lab buddy) in his place. Worked well - the class continued, and whichever of us went would catch up from the lab buddy when we got back. (And we scored some brownie points that we cashed in the following year at the newly built high school to take over the video production facilities, but that's a whole other story).

My favorite example (which I can vouch for - I was there, it happened) was showing up in the classroom and Mr. English asking if maybe we should get Mr. Physics in here, because he's pretty sure there's a Virus on the computer. (Remember, mid-90s - non-tech people honestly believed that The Hackers could destroy their computers with their minds). He has the entire class moved to the opposite side of the room (I think he thought the computer could explode?). I walk over, look at the screen. Display is chopped up into sixteen segments (one is blacked out), and the segments are sliding around and scrambling the image.

My "fix", of course, was to bump the mouse and turn off the screen saver. (If memory serves, the screen savers were switched back to "flying toasters" to prevent future outbreaks).

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

C:
I'd have named that folder "60 Greatly Important Government Assignments"... A name should be descriptive of its contents, isn't it?

"60 Very Active, of Governmental Importance, New Assignments"

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Kivi:
Me get bored with same:
The repetition evident in the replies to comments on this site is a bit boring.
The fact that the photo posted by "Nagesh" was not Kashmir had already been discussed, and now the conversation starts all over again. I know this is completely off-topic (surprise!), but this type of thing is really common here, and seems unneccesary.

Maybe if the CS was a bit more sophisticated, and showed the number of responses to each comment, (eg an "xxx replies to this comment" link instead of the almost useless "reply" button), there might be a reduction in the amount of C-tic-tac-toe type cruft that tends to build up. The comments are one of the most entertaining parts of TDWTF, so they could do with a li'l love. IMHO.

Also the ability to vote on comments. I'd give thumbs up to this one.

Maybe they need to get rid of unregistered users. It becomes a lot more difficult to be annoying when you get locked out and need to keep creating new 'identities'

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

PG4:
I had a young kitten do that same thing, I got to him before he pulled off more than two key caps.
I was able to find the tops and snap them back on. A few months later the machine was swapped out for a new one as part of an end of lease. The cat is 5 years old now and still loves to sit on my lap while I use the company laptop. He doesn't pull on the keys anymore, he has to have his paws on my hands, making it very hard to type.

Didn't God give you a dick to make yourself some children? People that have pets only and talk to them as children piss me off.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
iToad:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.

Those who can't do, teach, or manage, go into upper management.

I am being in uper managment and am knowing how to do both of these things.

Are you fucking sure? Usually, managers can't recognize [antyhing that matters] at all.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

CodeRage:
That laptop looks suspiciously like someone who beat the crap out of the keyboard with their fists in rage, and then took it to tech support claiming "the cat did it".

I would make him pay for it, no matter what the excuse may be. Next time he would control his fucking cat.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!
Those who can't do *or* teach, go into management.
The only things required to be an effective manager is to have a impressive bullshit vocabulary and be able to dress youself in the morning.

Exactly!

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

Nabhi Singh:
My african grey parrot will make my keyboard look like that in about 10 minutes. I have gone through about 5 keyboards in the past 2 years (because not only does he take the keys off, he rips off the tabs on the back of the key, so they will no longer go in properly) So I always keep my eyes out for $5 keyboards.

Put one in its cage. It needs some furniture.

2012-02-08 Reply Admin

geoffrey:
Lone Marauder:
C-Octothorpe:
Those who can't do, teach. ... .. . Oh come on, someone had to say it!

Those who can't do or teach, go into management.

Disagree. In any good organization, the star performers are the ones who make management.

Like there are more than, like, literally, 2 good organizations out there.

The 10 Key, Mr. Kashmere, and More Support Tales

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