• Other Nagesh (unregistered)

    a beacon of hope compared to the vast oceans of crap frist applicants

  • tjb (unregistered)

    If those qualifications make you the frist choice you're gonna have a bad time.

  • XXXXX (unregistered)

    Always bring your own copy of your resume to an interview. You never know how the recruiter/headhunter/HR service has massaged your information.

  • (cs)

    what is massage information? nagesh is not familiar with the term.

  • (cs)

    Resume

    Summary

    I am that I am. Honor me. Bow before me. Revere me. Sacrifice to me.

    Major Accomplishments

    I created the universe and all it contains in 6 days.

    For boredom, I created man. For continued boredom, I created woman.

    (I'm still trying to work out the kinks in that one).

    I created caffeine, coffee and chocolate.

    What I Can Do for You

    I can smite your enemies.

    Why You Should Hire Me

    I can smite you.

  • Andrew (unregistered)

    After seeing those murdered paragraphs, I highly doubt XXX XXXX's English communication skills. He could take some tips from the real Nagesh.

  • Anon (unregistered)
    They really like to chase the chicks

    I call BS on this one. He was supposed to be British, so I'm pretty sure he would have said:

    They really like to chase the birds
  • Love it! (unregistered)

    "Well this is part of who I am: I can reach my very core and rewrite it on demand, I'm not stuck with the limitations of a rigid personality; I adapt, evolve and improve myself on a constant basis. The possibilities are endless, and I have every intention on reaching higher ground through hard work, a positive attitude and the will to do what it takes to succeed."

    You have got to love it!!! Rewriting his core to get past the limitations of a rigid personality!! Impressive :-)

  • emaN ruoY (unregistered)

    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

  • Tom (unregistered)

    Well, I'm not frist, but I I have what it takes to be frist in a professional and social context.

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    They really like to chase the chicks

    I call BS on this one. He was supposed to be British, so I'm pretty sure he would have said:

    They really like to chase the birds

    our school book say - bat hunting and fox hunting are fond time pass of lords and ladies in England.

  • (cs) in reply to emaN ruoY
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    In India, that is normal for all interviews. They ask about yourself and your family.

  • (cs)

    "Excellent, you'll love it here, they're a great bunch of guys. On Fridays, everybody stops working and we break out the beer and crisps, some of the guys head off to town. They really like to chase the chicks, like a rat up a drainpipe some of them. You'll definitely want to ditch your current employer as soon as you see our setup!"

    But he's MARRIED and has kids, you heartless homewrecker!

  • (cs) in reply to Love it!
    Positive Attitude:
    "Well this is part of who I am: I can reach my very core and rewrite it on demand, I'm not stuck with the limitations of a rigid personality; I adapt, evolve and improve myself on a constant basis."
    This, of course, is the triggering event for the Singularity. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlord...at least for an interview.
  • F (unregistered) in reply to emaN ruoY
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    It would be a very foolish thing to do, as an unsuccessful applicant might allege sex discrimination (it being unlawful to discriminate against someone on the grounds of marital status, among other things). While said applicant might not succeed in an Employment Tribunal case, the company would incur substantial costs (if only in management time) defending it.

  • Not Ali G (unregistered)

    Yeesh. That last letter sounds like a Sasha Baron Cohen sketch. An unusually bad one.

  • (cs) in reply to emaN ruoY
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Like some sort of developer version of The Truman Show If he had gone through the false elevator he'd have discovered a huge room full of the real developers, chained to their desks and wearing dirty rags, no doubt.

  • HereIAm (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    Maybe it's a Yankee editor.

  • (cs)

    The second letter reads much better if you picture Jean Girard (the Formula One driver from Talladega Nights) as the applicant.

  • Mainframe Web Dev (unregistered) in reply to emaN ruoY
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    Taboo in the US? One might say - a protected discrimmination class and illegal per federal employment law.

  • Ben Jammin (unregistered) in reply to emaN ruoY
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    In every interview I've had in the US, I've been asked about my personal life, including wife/girlfriend status. It's nothing they can't find off Google and a person's personal life will reflect in their work life, so it is a good insight to have in the interview process.

  • szeryf (unregistered)

    This SuperGenius guy from the second story would feel at home in the bank from the first story :)

  • Vroomfundel (unregistered)

    Speaking about attitude towards discrimination on both sides of the pond, I can't help but mock the 'Equal Opportunity Employer' thing they have in the UK. On every other web site that accepts online applications you have this 'equal opportunity' section, which requires you to disclose your gender, race, sexual orientation and disability status.

    Why, would a sensible person ask. So that you won't be discriminated against, stupid! It's an equal opportunity program. I thought about registering myself as disabled black lesbian just to see if they get tempted by the opportunity to score a tick in all boxes with just one candidate (because I fail to envisage any other reason why would they want this information, other than fulfilling a quota in all categories, i.e. for discrimination).

  • (cs) in reply to Ben Jammin
    Ben Jammin:
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    In every interview I've had in the US, I've been asked about my personal life, including wife/girlfriend status. It's nothing they can't find off Google and a person's personal life will reflect in their work life, so it is a good insight to have in the interview process.

    This is the Real WTF! First, it might be a good insight, if you consider illegal insight to be good insight. Secondly, what the hell is your wife/girlfriend status doing as easily searchable info on The Google? Oh nevermind, I must have missed the sar-chasm.

  • (cs)

    Please to meet you, hope you guessed my name.

  • (cs)

    Wait, you can put readonly on a property in C#? What in the world would that do? If you want a readonly property in C#, just don't provide a setter! Or was he talking about VB, where for some reason you have to specify readonly even though the lack of a setter should make it plain as day?

  • AB (unregistered)

    I suspect the readonly was on a field, not a property.

  • emaN ruoY (unregistered) in reply to ekolis
    ekolis:
    Wait, you can put readonly on a property in C#? What in the world would that do? If you want a readonly property in C#, just don't provide a setter! Or was he talking about VB, where for some reason you have to specify readonly even though the lack of a setter should make it plain as day?
    http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/acdd6hb7(v=vs.71).aspx The readonly keyword is a modifier that you can use on fields. When a field declaration includes a readonly modifier, assignments to the fields introduced by the declaration can only occur as part of the declaration or in a constructor in the same class.
  • Facetious, moi? (unregistered)
    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    Very surprising, since the City is well known for its strict adherence to employment law.

  • Annonymous (unregistered) in reply to ekolis
    ekolis:
    Wait, you can put readonly on a property in C#? What in the world would that do? If you want a readonly property in C#, just don't provide a setter! Or was he talking about VB, where for some reason you have to specify readonly even though the lack of a setter should make it plain as day?

    Haha. Good catch. I glossed right over that when I read it. Of course, I am sure he simply used the wrong term and meant to say field.

  • Qŭert (unregistered)

    Can he rewrite his core to be less egocentric?

  • Jack Foluney (unregistered)

    For sure he should of had an interview with this guy. It would have been hilarious.

  • Mutt (unregistered) in reply to emaN ruoY
    emaN ruoY:
    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?
    I don't think this took place in the UK. The poster described the interviewer as 'a fellow Brit', which implies to me that they weren't in Britain...otherwise why would you bother pointing that out?
  • (cs) in reply to Anon

    Nah "birds" would be a bit lower-class and old-fashioned. The sort of person described would easily use a more American idiom.

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    They really like to chase the chicks

    I call BS on this one. He was supposed to be British, so I'm pretty sure he would have said:

    They really like to chase the birds

    Nah "birds" would be a bit lower-class and old-fashioned. The sort of person described would easily use a more American idiom.

  • Calli Arcale (unregistered) in reply to Ben Jammin
    Ben Jammin:
    In every interview I've had in the US, I've been asked about my personal life, including wife/girlfriend status. It's nothing they can't find off Google and a person's personal life will reflect in their work life, so it is a good insight to have in the interview process.

    They're allowed to ask. But you are not required to answer, and in theory, they're not allowed to make decisions based on the answer. Obviously this becomes murky at times. Many do not ask (at least not in any documented way) because then you can't allege discrimination as easily.

    Of course, if they do accept you, one of the forms you'll be required to fill out is an IRS form that does ask marital status and so forth, and which they will be required to process. You cannot be required to disclose your race, even to the IRS, but your marital status is significant to calculation of tax obligations. The racial information is used for demographic research and things like that, but since it's voluntary, I would tend to consider its value suspect.

  • (cs) in reply to Calli Arcale
    Calli Arcale:
    You cannot be required to disclose your race, even to the IRS, but your marital status is significant to calculation of tax obligations. The racial information is used for demographic research and things like that, but since it's voluntary, I would tend to consider its value suspect.

    Then again, if someone really cared, it's not that difficult to make a pretty good guess as to someone's ethnicity if you're able to have a face-to-face conversation with them.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Vroomfundel
    Vroomfundel:
    Speaking about attitude towards discrimination on both sides of the pond, I can't help but mock the 'Equal Opportunity Employer' thing they have in the UK. On every other web site that accepts online applications you have this 'equal opportunity' section, which requires you to disclose your gender, race, sexual orientation and disability status.

    Why, would a sensible person ask. So that you won't be discriminated against, stupid! It's an equal opportunity program. I thought about registering myself as disabled black lesbian just to see if they get tempted by the opportunity to score a tick in all boxes with just one candidate (because I fail to envisage any other reason why would they want this information, other than fulfilling a quota in all categories, i.e. for discrimination).

    I'm pretty sure you'll find those questions are optional.

  • _ (unregistered) in reply to CodeRage
    CodeRage:
    Ben Jammin:
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    In every interview I've had in the US, I've been asked about my personal life, including wife/girlfriend status. It's nothing they can't find off Google and a person's personal life will reflect in their work life, so it is a good insight to have in the interview process.

    This is the Real WTF! First, it might be a good insight, if you consider illegal insight to be good insight. Secondly, what the hell is your wife/girlfriend status doing as easily searchable info on The Google? Oh nevermind, I must have missed the sar-chasm.

    It wasn't "on Google" it was "off Google." And if they don't even need Google to find that, just imagine what they can find when they use it.

  • Someone (unregistered) in reply to F
    F:
    an unsuccessful applicant might allege sex discrimination

    What good would it do him or her? It is more prudent to spend your time looking for another job than fighting a lawsuit. Even in the unlikely event that you win the lawsuit, what does it buy you? Maybe the said employer would grudgingly offer you a job and pay you some money as compensation for the discrimination, but what do you do next?

    The problem with you Americans is that you think of suing as a solution for every stupid thing, rather than use your brains. Suing your employer for workplace discrimination is different from suing a could-have-been employer when you have so little data to defend your case.

  • Bridget (unregistered) in reply to XXXXX
    XXXXX:
    Always bring your own copy of your resume to an interview. You never know how the recruiter/headhunter/HR service has massaged your information.

    Well done. When I skimmed over this comment it took most of my willpower to keep from dissolving into hysterical giggling at my desk.

    I've known a handful of people that would write something like that letter. I keep one of them on my FB feed simply to watch the trainwreck. Sometimes I feel guilty about it.

  • AN AMAZING CODER (unregistered) in reply to Calli Arcale
    Calli Arcale:
    Ben Jammin:
    In every interview I've had in the US, I've been asked about my personal life, including wife/girlfriend status. It's nothing they can't find off Google and a person's personal life will reflect in their work life, so it is a good insight to have in the interview process.

    They're allowed to ask. But you are not required to answer, and in theory, they're not allowed to make decisions based on the answer. Obviously this becomes murky at times. Many do not ask (at least not in any documented way) because then you can't allege discrimination as easily.

    Of course, if they do accept you, one of the forms you'll be required to fill out is an IRS form that does ask marital status and so forth, and which they will be required to process. You cannot be required to disclose your race, even to the IRS, but your marital status is significant to calculation of tax obligations. The racial information is used for demographic research and things like that, but since it's voluntary, I would tend to consider its value suspect.

    To add to this, it's perfectly valid to ask about your family life (read -- not necessarily if you're married) if it's relevant to the position. I previously worked at a consulting gig where 50% travel was not an unreasonable expectation (but not a guaranteed one), so being assured that a person's family life would not be affected by this was important to selecting candidates.

    You might say "just ask if they're ok with 50% travel and be done with it", but that's not good enough. The interviewee needs to diffuse the doubt, not enforce the hope.

  • AN AMAZING CODER (unregistered) in reply to Someone
    Someone:
    F:
    an unsuccessful applicant might allege sex discrimination

    What good would it do him or her? It is more prudent to spend your time looking for another job than fighting a lawsuit. Even in the unlikely event that you win the lawsuit, what does it buy you? Maybe the said employer would grudgingly offer you a job and pay you some money as compensation for the discrimination, but what do you do next?

    The problem with you Americans is that you think of suing as a solution for every stupid thing, rather than use your brains. Suing your employer for workplace discrimination is different from suing a could-have-been employer when you have so little data to defend your case.

    This is a terrible argument. He never suggested that suing someone is the correct thing to do, he said it's a possible outcome one would want to avoid. It doesn't matter to me what possible good it could do to him or her if I still have to pay money to defend it.

    It's easier to not be smart than it is to stop idiots from being idiots.

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to Someone
    Someone:
    F:
    an unsuccessful applicant might allege sex discrimination

    What good would it do him or her? It is more prudent to spend your time looking for another job than fighting a lawsuit. Even in the unlikely event that you win the lawsuit, what does it buy you? Maybe the said employer would grudgingly offer you a job and pay you some money as compensation for the discrimination, but what do you do next?

    The problem with you Americans is that you think of suing as a solution for every stupid thing, rather than use your brains. Suing your employer for workplace discrimination is different from suing a could-have-been employer when you have so little data to defend your case.

    The good it would do him is that he could get a big cash settlement. People in the U.S. have been awarded hundreds of thousands of dollars for successful discrimination lawsuits. Winning is not at all unlikely. Lots of people win such lawsuits.

    You may think it's stupid, I may think it's stupid, but our courts don't think it's stupid, and they're the ones who have a say.

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to Ben Jammin
    Ben Jammin:
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    In every interview I've had in the US, I've been asked about my personal life, including wife/girlfriend status. It's nothing they can't find off Google and a person's personal life will reflect in their work life, so it is a good insight to have in the interview process.

    It may well be good and relevant information, but it's still illegal. You seem to be laboring under the curious delusion that "required by law" and "good idea" have anything to do with each other.

  • Jay (unregistered)

    In this Internet age, I'm rather glad that I have a fairly common name. I've searched for my name on Google and dozens of people turn up. Most of them are, to the best of my knowledge, not me.

    Any time I look for a job, I kick around how much personal information I want to reveal. On the one hand, if I tell them about my marital status, religion, political views, etc, and they have different opinions, they might decide not to hire me, and I could miss out on what otherwise might be a good job. But on the other hand, surely sooner or later in the course of office conversation they'll figure out some of these things about me. And if they hate people with opinions such as mine enough that they would have refused to hire me, than even if they don't find some excuse to fire me, they would surely make the job unpleasant. Who wants to go to work every day for a boss who hates you? I'd be better off getting a job somewhere else.

    Just musing.

  • mag (unregistered)

    I love people who are ready to "bring their addition to the team" anyday ;)

  • Captcha: inhibeo (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    what is massage information? nagesh ain't familiar with the term.
    FTFY
  • (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Resume

    Summary

    I am that I am. Honor me. Bow before me. Revere me. Sacrifice to me.

    Major Accomplishments

    I created the universe and all it contains in 6 days.

    For boredom, I created man. For continued boredom, I created woman.

    (I'm still trying to work out the kinks in that one).

    I created caffeine, coffee and chocolate.

    What I Can Do for You

    I can smite your enemies.

    Why You Should Hire Me

    I can smite you.

    So ... less than 100% successful on the woman project? Hmm ... Collect your travel expenses from Lizzie in HR on the way out. Can you show Mr. Satan in?
  • Peter (unregistered) in reply to Ben Jammin
    Ben Jammin:
    emaN ruoY:
    With the concentration on the sports cars and keys, I'm wondering if it was all a set. If he were to show up unannounced a few days later and sneak a peak and still see the fancy stuff. Granted, it was a bank, so who knows.

    Also, in the US, asking about family during an interview is considered very taboo. Is that not the case in the UK?

    In every interview I've had in the US, I've been asked about my personal life, including wife/girlfriend status.

    Unless they've changed the EEOC rules since I was briefed on what not to talk about, asking those kinds of questions is illegal in the US. That doesn't mean it isn't done, but if someone doesn't get hired and feels it's because of something personal they were asked about, the company could be looking at an EEOC lawsuit.

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