• matt (unregistered)

    This WTF seems familiar

  • (cs)

    "and he was downsized the following week"

    Probably because of his poor attitude and inability to follow the protocol.

  • rewind (unregistered)

    Obviously extremely lazy, and not goal oriented. Plus:

    "you have no regard for security, you've wasted my time for several days"

  • Rodnas (unregistered)

    I love red tape. Especially when it doesn't concern me. When it does concern me, i feel the same frustration. Sounds much like the time i had to prove i didn't own a certain bankaccount. Which is of course impossible, because the bank doesn't give out information about an account that is not your own.

  • noob (unregistered)

    The problem (at least where I have worked) is that there are three types of people working in government security:

    1. those using it as a stepping stone to another job (like IT security)
    2. those who love the power trip
    3. those who are too stupid to do anything else

    The first one can be helpful, but never stays long enough. The second one does anything s/he can to screw with you just for the sake of making your life harder. And the third just doesn't get it.

  • Frank (unregistered)

    I hope to god that he created a formal complaint to HR or the powers that be. Yes, it's a little funny, but at the same time, it's everything wrong with "protocol" in the world today - common sense isn't, courtesy is gone, and people like the security guard should be shot. Maybe not with a gun, more like a marshmallow cannon, or sent off a catapult into a lake, but you get the point...

  • Caffeine (unregistered) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    "and he was downsized the following week"

    Probably because of his poor attitude and inability to follow the protocol.

    This story probably happened two years ago. Although he was downsized a week later it took four weeks to get the necessary forms filled in. Two months to get access to HR's secure area for the exit interview. Another two months to book time with the security people to walk him out the door by which time the exit pass was expired....

  • coco (unregistered)

    OMG, they should be shot for such a folissnes, the security guys and the ones who wrote that protocol.

  • (cs) in reply to Frank
    Frank:
    I hope to god that he created a formal complaint to HR or the powers that be.
    Who would, of course, not give a damn. The process is in place and there is absolutely no incentive for them to question it.

    Have you learned nothing from this website, grasshopper?

  • (cs)

    I see that thedailywtf has gone green - this one seems recycled from a previous post.

  • Daniel (unregistered)

    I need to post a comment but got no clearence. Can anybody help me?

  • (cs)

    Hmm, made me think of the security protocols as a script that should work well in theory, but fails in some edge cases.

    This is probably how your variables feel every time they get stuck in an unexpected loop.

  • Steve the Cynic (unregistered)

    What we haven't been told here is whether Owein bothered to tell his management chain about the problems he was having. And if he didn't, then receiving a downsizee grenade is about what he should expect.

    After all, he had a problem that would jeopardize his assigned task's completion date, and instead of telling management about it, he sat on his arse for three days. Goodness only knows if telling them would have helped, but at least it is then their fault it did not get done.

  • (cs) in reply to Daniel
    Daniel:
    I need to post a comment but got no clearence. Can anybody help me?

    There you go, but you have no regard for security and have wasted my time for the last 20 seconds!

  • dan (unregistered)

    I don't think he was really trying. All he would have had to do was ask the security officer "How much paperwork do you have to fill out if I just start walking down this corridor?" and she would have been much more cooperative, if even more grumpy.

  • Incourced (unregistered)

    This WTF looks like it is recycled, but it is just that security clearance and government agencies is a major theme here. Perhaps it needs its own category...

  • lukas (unregistered)

    "excuse me, what do i put for appointment?"

    Yeah that's a WTF.

    He might as well have just said "please kick me out, this is a test" .

  • (cs) in reply to Daniel
    Daniel:
    I need to post a comment but got no clearence. Can anybody help me?

    Certainly, do you have an appointment?

  • (cs) in reply to Steve the Cynic
    Steve the Cynic:
    What we haven't been told here is whether Owein bothered to tell his management chain about the problems he was having...at least it is then *their* fault it did not get done.
    You beat me to it. Calling in someone with a little authority is the obvious next step. Having worked in that environment for a while, his boss, or his boss's boss, may have found ways to circumvent the system. Perhaps a phone call to the Director of Security, with whom he plays golf every Tuesday afternoon...
  • y0da (unregistered) in reply to dan
    dan:
    I don't think he was really trying. All he would have had to do was ask the security officer "How much paperwork do you have to fill out if I just start walking down this corridor?" and she would have been much more cooperative, if even more grumpy.

    Stun Gun. Breach of security. Immediate firing (of stun gun and employee).

    ...which would have quickened the whole process ;)

  • Boolean Security (unregistered) in reply to noob
    noob:
    The problem (at least where I have worked) is that there are three types of people working in government security: 1) those using it as a stepping stone to another job (like IT security) 2) those who love the power trip 3) those who are too stupid to do anything else

    The first one can be helpful, but never stays long enough. The second one does anything s/he can to screw with you just for the sake of making your life harder. And the third just doesn't get it.

    1) True 2) True 3) Security_Not_Found

    Sorry ... didn't have room for False.

  • Dave (unregistered)

    "I'm sorry troubleshooter FOO-1, you must be Orange clearance to be allowed down the corridor."

    "But friend computer, you are the one that ordered me down that corridor for the mission briefing!"

    "Questioning the judgement of the computer is treason!" BZZZAP!

    ...

    "I'm sorry troubleshooter FOO-2, you must be Orange clearance to be allowed down the corridor."

  • ping floyd (unregistered)

    Any place where you have to swipe your id card just to go to the bathroom is not worth working for. Been there, done that, left a long time ago!

  • FOOBAR-6 (unregistered) in reply to Dave
    Dave:
    "I'm sorry troubleshooter FOO-1, you must be Orange clearance to be allowed down the corridor."

    "But friend computer, you are the one that ordered me down that corridor for the mission briefing!"

    "Questioning the judgement of the computer is treason!" BZZZAP!

    ...

    "I'm sorry troubleshooter FOO-2, you must be Orange clearance to be allowed down the corridor."

    So true. The Computer Is Your Friend

  • halka (unregistered)

    "Does not compute!"

  • wlao (unregistered) in reply to dan
    dan:
    I don't think he was really trying. All he would have had to do was ask the security officer "How much paperwork do you have to fill out if I just start walking down this corridor?" and she would have been much more cooperative, if even more grumpy.
    Rule no. 1: Don't ever try to joke or be smart when talking to security officers. That will just make them less cooperative and even more grumpy.
  • Brendan (unregistered) in reply to ping floyd
    Any place where you have to swipe your id card just to go to the bathroom is not worth working for. Been there, done that, left a long time ago!
    Tell the truth: you were fired for urinating in the corridor... :-)
  • (cs) in reply to Caffeine
    Caffeine:
    amischiefr:
    "and he was downsized the following week"

    Probably because of his poor attitude and inability to follow the protocol.

    This story probably happened two years ago. Although he was downsized a week later it took four weeks to get the necessary forms filled in. Two months to get access to HR's secure area for the exit interview. Another two months to book time with the security people to walk him out the door by which time the exit pass was expired....

    Did he keep collecting a paycheck all this time? Or did they "fix the glitch"?

    I guess TRWTF is that it's the security guard who didn't follow protocol. Either a pass, OR an appointment, was required according to the opening paragraph: NOT BOTH. Should have downsized the guard.

  • hymie! (unregistered) in reply to dan

    "How much paperwork do you have to fill out if I just start walking down this corridor?"

    Depending on where this took place....

    No paperwork. Just bullets.

  • Seth (unregistered)

    When the Security Occifer told him to come back and get the pass, that should count as an appointment. So he should just have filled in her name (and "to pick up pass" or whatever) in the Appointment column.

  • horuskol (unregistered)

    Back when I worked on secure jobs, I'd quite happily go sit in the cafeteria or a nearby coffee shop while they faffed about getting the access that should have been granted when I'd filled in the correct forms and been told I'd have access...

    My time was booked in at thousands a day (though I'd only see my salary - but if I'm being paid to read and drink coffee, I didn't care).

    All I'd have to do is write a memo saying when I turned up (at the agreed time) and when I was finally allowed access, and why it took me several more days to complete a 3 hour task, and the client would get charge for the several days. Left me with a warm fuzzy (caffeinated) feeling :)

  • The Anti Nazi (unregistered) in reply to wlao
    wlao:
    dan:
    I don't think he was really trying. All he would have had to do was ask the security officer "How much paperwork do you have to fill out if I just start walking down this corridor?" and she would have been much more cooperative, if even more grumpy.
    Rule no. 1: Don't ever try to joke or be smart when talking to security officers. That will just make them less cooperative and even more grumpy.
    Oh, I don't know about that.

    I remember being picked off the floor after a twenty-four hour, last minute gotta-get-it-out session and whisked off to Heathrow at a hundred miles an hour to deliver the "solution" to the client in Atlanta. This was just before Apartheid collapsed.

    Unfortunately, it was also immediately post-Lockerbie. I was accosted by an insta-thug with blond hair, blue squinty eyes, and a very thick South African accent. This contrasted nicely with my sweaty bald head, bloodshot eyes, and inability to string a sentence together without strange giggling noises.

    "Is there some reason I shouldn't look in your carry-on luggage?" asked insta-thug.

    "Er, it depends," I said. "You looking for bombs?"

    Well, I wasn't thinking too clearly.

    "I need to look in your carry-on luggage," said insta-thug.

    "No you don't."

    "Yis, I do! Ova there!"

    "Er, it's full of dirty laundry. Really quite filthy laundry, actually."

    "You mist obey the rules! Ova there!"

    And so it was that I got to see a member of the master race dig his arms, up to the elbows, into a heap of two-week old batchelor underwear. I like to think that I struck a blow for equality on behalf of all the housemaids in the Transvaal that day. After all, they've been doing it for decades.

    What was great is that the untermenschenfuhrer didn't have rules about dirty laundry, so the other rules forced him to let me on the plane. He appeared to be having a small nervous breakdown as I walked away.

    Not sure what this has got to do with secured IT environments, but I'm sure other readers have a parallel.

  • (cs) in reply to Junkie
    Junkie:
    I see that thedailywtf has gone green - this one seems recycled from a previous post.

    The seem to be just working through a book of fables replacing animals with bureaucracy. yawn

  • Bernie (unregistered) in reply to Shial
    Shial:
    Daniel:
    I need to post a comment but got no clearence. Can anybody help me?
    Certainly, do you have an appointment?
    I've got an appointment but not the clearance to use it in the comments. Perhaps there is a 4th person who can help us.
  • Nothing to See Here (unregistered)

    Many security types at classified securities fit in the "power monger" category. They're usually treated like secretaries, given the respect of rent-a-cops, and are given the authority of a janitor, but are the fall guy/girl for every security violation on their watch.

    What else can a disgruntled employee do but take it out on hapless victims?

    Besides, I have serious doubts about this person's truthiness about the events that occured. This sort of crap is normal at most secured facilities. Everyone has their little empire and the more "exclusive" you can make your club, the greater sense of importance the manager has. This shouldn't be news.

  • broke down dialog (unregistered)

    The WTF in this article is that Owein could not muster enough intellect to put "Meet with security" in the appointment space. He should have been down sized. If you can't outwit the security guard you deserve to be one.

    Insert inane captcha comment here.

  • biffby9 (unregistered) in reply to y0da

    Ummmm.....no.

    In the place where I worked, there was a line of red tape on the floor at the beginning of the hallway, with signs posted saying (in effect) 'You cross this line, we shoot first, then ask questions.' And the two guards had machine guns, not tazers...

    ...oh and this was right by the bathroom we had to use, so if you took a wrong turn without thinking...

  • morry (unregistered)

    I've always wondered what happens when bureaucrats and security nuts encounter their counterparts in other organizations. Like the immigration officer who torments applicants getting the run around from a security officer. Or the HR benefits drone who tries to get a building permit from a city bureaucrat.

    Does the lightbulb ever go on?

  • Bert Normal-form (unregistered) in reply to Frank
    Frank:
    I hope to god that he created a formal complaint to HR or the powers that be. Yes, it's a little funny, but at the same time, it's everything wrong with "protocol" in the world today - common sense isn't, courtesy is gone, and people like the security guard should be shot. Maybe not with a gun, more like a marshmallow cannon, or sent off a catapult into a lake, but you get the point...

    Yes, I'm sure there'd be a collective slapping-of-the-forehead there, as they all exclaimed "Mein Gott! This security protocol is, as this zero nobody codemonkey claims, pointless and silly! Revoke immediately!" in unison

  • (cs) in reply to morry
    morry:
    I've always wondered what happens when bureaucrats and security nuts encounter their counterparts in other organizations. Like the immigration officer who torments applicants getting the run around from a security officer. Or the HR benefits drone who tries to get a building permit from a city bureaucrat.

    Does the lightbulb ever go on?

    They do the secret handshake and everything suddenly goes smoothly.

  • nB (unregistered) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    I love red tape. Especially when it doesn't concern me. When it does concern me, i feel the same frustration. Sounds much like the time i had to prove i didn't own a certain bankaccount. Which is of course impossible, because the bank doesn't give out information about an account that is not your own.
    That one is easy: Get a notarized receipt from the bank that you do not have access to account information on that account because you are not the account holder.
  • paul (unregistered)

    Did she even check his identity before handing him the security badge?

  • (cs) in reply to Daniel
    Daniel:
    I need to post a comment but got no clearence. Can anybody help me?
    Clarence isn't in.
  • Robb (unregistered)

    Frankly, issue was with the higher up bringing him in.

    I work on a secure site and getting here, initially, was a pain. However I did have my new boss take care of what I needed so there wouldn't be any issues or problems.

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    So you finally implement spam protection and it prevents me from posting a perfectly legitimate comment (plenty of unique text and just one link). Typical. Oh well, it's better than the spam I suppose.

    My guess is that this is why we are now seeing the error page so often when trying to post comments. Needs some fine tuning I think.

  • Actor in Security Theatre (unregistered)

    As long as he was downsized in accordance with the security protocols, then all's well that ends well.

  • Polar Bear (unregistered)

    Peter: "Our schools are the safest around thanks to the hall monitor XLK."

    XLK: "Halt, present hall pass!"

  • (cs) in reply to tdittmar
    tdittmar:
    Daniel:
    I need to post a comment but got no clearence. Can anybody help me?

    There you go, but you have no regard for security and have wasted my time for the last 20 seconds!

    He's about to waste more of it now you've given him clearance to post a comment!
  • Murdog (unregistered)

    Does this secure area require the red key card, or the blue key card....?

  • tt (unregistered)

    ...and then he bought Uzi and shot everyone in security department...

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