• (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Actually, it does annoy me when websites don't have an option for Dr. I earn the title and I'd like to use it once in awhile.
    If I call you Dr. Anon, will you call me Dv. Dependent (Dv. == "Developer")? Will you call my girlfriend, who is a full-time professional infant-care specialist, Nn. Hotmama (Nn. == "Nanny")? How about your auto repairman... do you call him "Mch. Jones"? (Mch. == ...well, you figure it out)
  • Joe (unregistered) in reply to Inhibeo

    Don't forget FILE_NOT_FOUND

    :)

  • ThingGuy McGuyThing (unregistered) in reply to Fabian
    Fabian:
    Of course the description column should not be nullable. Major WTF!

    It's probably a freakin' Oracle DB

  • bramster (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Megalonychidae:
    bothwell:
    Megalonychidae:
    For an English Website I had to add the title options Mr, Mrs, Ms and Other.

    Miss, Dr, Professor, Reverend... :/

    What's the problem?

    Yeah, right. The selection 'other' makes the person obviously a professor.

    Actually, it does annoy me when websites don't have an option for Dr. I earn the title and I'd like to use it once in awhile.

    Dr. Anon works for me. . .

  • T604 (unregistered) in reply to RayMarron

    I'm working on an app that takes input data for horses, there is a whole slew of genders: gelding, ridgling, stallion, mare, colt, filly to name a few. Well some of them technically might not be a gender, but those are the requirements.

  • Franz Kafka (unregistered) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    I actually worked on a system once that was worse than this. It used XML files to define the stored procs in the system. It worked like this:

    Each stored procedure had an XML file that described it. So if I was writing uspGetCustomerOrders, I had to create an xml file GetCustomerOrders.xml that enumerated all the parameters to that proc and their types.

    Then each COM component had an XML file that mapped function name to stored procedure name. So if I was writing the getCustomerOrders method in the blOrders component, I had to open blOrders.xml and add an entry to map getCustomerOrders -> GetCustomerOrders.xml.

    Really.

    So the process of calling a stored proc at runtime from a method was:

    1. Open the XML doc for the component you're in
    2. Lookup the name of your method, find the SP definition
    3. Open the XML doc for the proc definition
    4. Fill in the proc definition with parameter values
    5. Pass the proc definition to a generic routine to run it and, optionally, retrieve a rowset.

    That's right, twice to the drive and twice into the XML DOM for every single data call. Did I mention this was a web app?

    The funny part is that if windows did halfway sane caching, you'd only hit the drive the first time for each file.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Joe Mama
    Joe Mama:
    Anon:
    Actually, it does annoy me when websites don't have an option for Dr. I earn the title and I'd like to use it once in awhile.

    Poor baby. Sounds like you "earn the title" AMF as well (A = arrogant).

    Why shouldn't I use a title I earned? I'm sorry if you've never done anything your proud of.

  • Coriolis (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    Use whatever title you like, but don't get huffy when other people don't make special accommodations for your ego.

  • (cs) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    The exact opposite happens in my company. For some reason the DBA's are afraid of Stored Procs, but not afraid of rouge queries in our code.
    Are they afraid of powder or lipstick queries though?
  • GrandmasterB (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Actually, it does annoy me when websites don't have an option for Dr. I earn the title and I'd like to use it once in awhile.

    Did you check to see if they had 'Pretentious Twit' instead?

  • GrandmasterB (unregistered) in reply to GooberMcNutly
    GooberMcNutly:
    Haven't any of you worked with demon DBAs that will make you fill out forms in triplicate for any and all stored procedure changes, index creations, field additions or modifications or even, horrors, a new table?

    Thats why I hesitate before considering a lot of these CSOD's a 'WTF'. Without knowing the context of why this is done, you cant really know where the 'blame' resides.

  • (cs) in reply to ShatteredArm
    ShatteredArm:
    TRFTW is that the DBAs even let anyone run queries against a production database. I thought it was pretty much standard practice in any enterprise to restrict applications to only stored procedures, and to disable sp_execsql.
    Actually, what you really do is use a stored procedure to check whether the query they want to run matches any entries in the table of approved queries. Only if it does do you then evaluate the input...
  • BadBaby13 (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Joe Mama:
    Anon:
    Actually, it does annoy me when websites don't have an option for Dr. I earn the title and I'd like to use it once in awhile.

    Poor baby. Sounds like you "earn the title" AMF as well (A = arrogant).

    Why shouldn't I use a title I earned? I'm sorry if you've never done anything your proud of.

    This guys a troll - don't worry about him.

    Real doctors know how to use the word "you're."

  • (cs) in reply to BadBaby13
    BadBaby13:
    Real doctors know how to use the word "you're."
    Yore shore about thet?
  • Your Name * (unregistered) in reply to BadBaby13

    So wait, the guy who wants to use his legally correct title is the troll, and not the people saying he should call the wahmbulance, and that he's so arrogant for wanting to do so?

    What?

  • LeftNut (unregistered)

    A long time ago, in a galaxy far ... uh ... oops.

    Quite some number of years ago, I worked for a company that provided "computer solutions" to the medical community. We got a Mayo Clinic branch somewhere in Florida as a customer, and needed to make some modifications for them. One of the modifications was that they needed TWELVE different genders! I didn't actually work on that part of the code, but I do remember most of them: unknown, male, female, gay male (don't remember the actual term), lesbian, pre-op TS/TG female, pre-op TS/TG male, post-op TS/TG female, post-op TS/TG male, hermaphrodite, ... shoot, I can't remember the last two. I also don't remember whether the post-op TS/TG ones were by DNA or presentation.

  • Trix (unregistered)

    12 genders? Oh, please, gay/straight/bi are sexual orientations, not genders. If I was feeling at all gender confused, that is one clinic I wouldn't want to go to, if they don't know the difference (hell, I don't want to come out the other end straight!)

  • (cs) in reply to Vilx-
    Vilx-:
    Reinventing the Stored Procedures, eh? ;)
    I actually wrote something like this for an internal utility at my previous job. MySQL doesn't have stored procedures. Or didn't in version 4, anyway - thy may have added them since then.

    It also allows for implementation of a generic report system where the end user can define the reports.

    As somebody else pointed out though, you have to make sure that the ability to add new queries is restricted to trusted individuals.

  • David (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Anon:
    Actually, it does annoy me when websites don't have an option for Dr. I earn the title and I'd like to use it once in awhile.
    If I call you Dr. Anon, will you call me Dv. Dependent (Dv. == "Developer")? Will you call my girlfriend, who is a full-time professional infant-care specialist, Nn. Hotmama (Nn. == "Nanny")? How about your auto repairman... do you call him "Mch. Jones"? (Mch. == ...well, you figure it out)

    Traditionally, if the Doctorate is a medical degree, then the honorific is used regardless of setting. Doctors of philosophy (Ph.D) and other doctorates are normally only referred to as Doctor in an appropriate setting. If your Ph.D for example was in computer science and the website was related to that topic then you could expect to use the title.

    Historically, people who were granted the title of doctor of philosophy had sufficient reputation that those within their academic circle could be expected to know their title without having to enquire.

  • Sane Person (unregistered) in reply to Charles400
    Charles400:
    select employee_phone from employee_table where employee_title = 'IRISH GIRL'

    select termination_date from employee_table where termination_reason='SEXUAL HARASMENT'

  • Real-modo (unregistered) in reply to GooberMcNutly
    GooberMcNutly:
    Haven't any of you worked with demon DBAs that will make you fill out forms in triplicate for any and all stored procedure changes, index creations, field additions or modifications or even, horrors, a new table?

    I have written whole modules just to get around the stifling bureaucracy. Selecting SQL from a table is small potatoes.

    Like, man, I can so totally relate to this...

  • Sane Person (unregistered) in reply to GrandmasterB
    GrandmasterB:
    GooberMcNutly:
    Haven't any of you worked with demon DBAs that will make you fill out forms in triplicate for any and all stored procedure changes, index creations, field additions or modifications or even, horrors, a new table?

    Thats why I hesitate before considering a lot of these CSOD's a 'WTF'. Without knowing the context of why this is done, you cant really know where the 'blame' resides.

    It's disturbing how often people in America (probably other countries too, I don't know) have to do things in less than the most efficient way because of policy or paperwork.

    When I worked for the Air Force we regularly made new systems web apps that would have been much cleaner and neater as desktop apps. Why? Because anybody could access a web page, but to install an application on your desktop, even one written by Air Force personnel at your specific request, required literally months to get through the approval process.

    From the employee's point of view, this sort of thing makes perfect sense: If method A takes 1 month of actual work and 6 months of paperwork, total 7 months; while method B takes 3 months of actual work but only 1 month of paperwork, total 4 months; clearly the most efficient thing to do is method B. But from management's point of view, the policy is insane.

    I hope the government folks I used to work with don't read this. I'm sure their response would be: You're right. We'd better require 6 months of paperwork for method B to make them equal.

  • Grassfire (unregistered) in reply to Ilya
    Ilya:
    Heh.. On my previous work I had an idea, that should help us (developers) to avoid system administrators when we visited the production site. My genius solution was to create a loader, which then connected to the DB, fetches the latest dll for this project, then places it in the memory and after that executes dllmain. I don't know was it good or bad, but i never got time to finish this part. :)

    But we implemented a lot of other "cool" stuff in it. I feel sorry for the guy, who is maintaining this project now.

    Isn't this a summary description of how Visual Foxpro v6.0 worked?

    Great language to work with, they stole a lot of the underlying concepts to pull into dotnet. But still, the idea of the object code being stored in tables was a bit wierd.

    Made patches easy though - just run this script . . .

  • askal (unregistered) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    1. Open the XML doc for the component you're in 2. Lookup the name of your method, find the SP definition 3. Open the XML doc for the proc definition 4. Fill in the proc definition with parameter values 5. Pass the proc definition to a generic routine to run it and, optionally, retrieve a rowset.

    Sounds like an ORM framework gaining momentum.

  • Elvis (unregistered) in reply to Sane Person

    [quote user="Sane Person"][quote user="GrandmasterB"][quote user="GooberMcNutly"]Haven't any of you worked with demon DBAs that will make you fill out forms in triplicate for any and all stored procedure changes, index creations, field additions or modifications or even, horrors, a new table? [/quote]

    Thats why I hesitate before considering a lot of these CSOD's a 'WTF'. Without knowing the context of why this is done, you cant really know where the 'blame' resides.

    [/quote]

    [quote] It's disturbing how often people in America (probably other countries too, I don't know) have to do things in less than the most efficient way because of policy or paperwork. [/quote]

    That's not unique to America... it's called bureaucracy and it's dammed near universal.

    And yes, our DBA's are twats who insist on inspecting every element of a new stored procedure but don't actually know what it is that they're looking at. Although at least they only have control of the production systems, you can do anything you want in DEV..... for the time being at lest.

  • Barf 4Eva (unregistered) in reply to GooberMcNutly

    "I have written whole modules just to get around the stifling bureaucracy. Selecting SQL from a table is small potatoes. "

    oh no...

  • firefoxer (unregistered) in reply to Bob

    watch the table in firefox...

  • (cs) in reply to GooberMcNutly
    GooberMcNutly:
    Haven't any of you worked with demon DBAs that will make you fill out forms in triplicate for any and all stored procedure changes, index creations, field additions or modifications or even, horrors, a new table?

    Well, no. but I tried to implement such bureaucracy once. You probably didn't work on an environment where a hundred developers were free to add changes to the production database just by making some (untraceable) call.

  • (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    My place wouldn't give me business cards, so I made up some joke business cards with the title: Grand Imperial Wizard of All Things Great and Small, but it's never in those on-line lists.
    Hey! I reckon I've accepted a card very much like that... have you ever worked in the Australian financial industry? Suffered a mega-project mishandled by Accenture at an insurance company?
  • (cs) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    The exact opposite happens in my company. For some reason the DBA's are afraid of Stored Procs, but not afraid of rouge queries in our code.
    Oh no! Not rouge queries! Those damned rouge admins again, no doubt. Damn them and their make-up skills!

    edit: actually meant to comment on the point above; yes, have suffered such a project where this happened. At an insurance company, on a mega-project mis-handled by Accenture, as it happens. After something like 12 months, it turned out that the developer ban on stored procedures was based on a rumour that the architecture team had banned them, when in fact one guy had been told he shouldn't write stored procedures... because he wasn't any good at it.

  • (cs) in reply to Your Name *
    Your Name *:
    So wait, the guy who wants to use his legally correct title is the troll, and not the people saying he should call the wahmbulance, and that he's so arrogant for wanting to do so?
    Yes. So?
  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Why shouldn't I use a title I earned? I'm sorry if you've never done anything your proud of.
    Personally, I've done plenty of things that I'm proud of. However, I'm not so insecure that I feel the need to boast about them every time I give my name out to people, and I certainly don't complain when a website hasn't bothered spending time putting a special option in to let me boast.
  • Grew (unregistered)

    While working at a call centre, I had someone demand I called them princess.

    Funny thing is - they checked out, they are, technically, a princess.

  • (cs) in reply to RayMarron
    RayMarron:
    Laugh all you want, but I actually have had to add more genders to a system! It was an appointment system & a veterinary clinic decided to use it. In addition to Unknown, Male & Female, they also needed Neutered Male & Spayed Female.

    Standard gender field + checkbox for "Fixed"

  • rmz (unregistered)
    select text from termsandconditions where pkey = 1
    Uh...
  • Hand Waving Expert (unregistered) in reply to Dr. Evil

    I hope you learned something about medicine while you were there as well...

    Pretentious titles... blah

  • (cs) in reply to T604
    T604:
    I'm working on an app that takes input data for horses, there is a whole slew of genders: gelding, ridgling, stallion, mare, colt, filly to name a few. Well some of them technically might not be a gender, but those are the requirements.
    And we all know how good customer requirements are. In this case, we know that colts and fillies can grow up into stallions and mares, so using this as an identifier may not be the right choice. "Look, sir, the computer says that you've never brought this mare in to see us before, but we have lots of records on a suspiciously-similar filly."
  • Piercy (unregistered)

    that code looks really insecure to me.. firstly say a unfriendly user gets information about that table and finds an exploit... now he knows all of the queries including tables and fiends and things...

    maybe its just me but id never implement something like that.

  • wds (unregistered)

    The real WTF is the grammar in this article. WTF is he trying to say?

  • Brains First (unregistered)

    NULL, Nothing, ditto, can't be assed to describe what im doing here

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  • Persto (unregistered)

    Would be more impressive if it kept a history of all previous versions of the query.

  • Sardonic Wooter (unregistered) in reply to rmz

    Uh? Uh what? It's obvious that pkey means primary key. Furthermore, if you want to filter by fkey, you must use 6. You're probably wondering how I know this.

    It's because I'm psychic. Years of being handed vague requirements have allowed me to slowly hone my psychic ability out of necessity. My unique powers now allow me to achieve 3/5 for most of my annual review objectives. Keep in mind that 4/5 is "unheard of", and 5/5 is "unattainable", so I've really got the highest score possible. Come to think of it, I DID get the high score. I remember getting to type my initials at the end!

  • Sardonic Wooter (unregistered) in reply to rmz
    rmz:
    select text from termsandconditions where pkey = 1
    Uh...

    Uh? Uh what? It's obvious that pkey means primary key. Furthermore, if you want to filter by fkey, you must use 6. You're probably wondering how I know this.

    It's because I'm psychic. Years of being handed vague requirements have allowed me to slowly hone my psychic ability out of necessity. My unique powers now allow me to achieve 3/5 for most of my annual review objectives. Keep in mind that 4/5 is "unheard of", and 5/5 is "unattainable", so I've really got the highest score possible. Come to think of it, I DID get the high score. I remember getting to type my initials at the end!

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