• (cs)

    When you say "let go", was it while hanging him, by his toes, over the side of a - preferably - very tall building?

  • Steve (unregistered)

    Kudos to the poster for using the proper terminology -- brillant!

  • (cs)
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

  • kc (unregistered)

    Printer running out of ink whilst psycho Ralph is in the middle of printing out his Ink Cartridge Labels = priceless.

  • krupa (unregistered)

    Gloves

  • bc (unregistered)

    Wow, can not even imagine this happening in any of the environments that I have worked in. In one place HR had walked people to the door with a 1 day suspension for "making others uncomfortable". On the first you had to retake the initiation "class" on business communicate that covered harassment and other like subjects. Second time you were asked to look into external help via the benefits program and the suspension was a week. Never heard of anyone coming back on the third instance.

  • TimmyEvil (unregistered) in reply to shinobu
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    Raul Paul will be coming to get you very shortly...

  • shMerker (unregistered)

    Well of course you can't move any icons. Don't you know how long it took Ralph to get them in his favorite shape? They don't have an "arrange by" command for that.

  • (cs)

    Tormenting people like Ralph is good office sport. He will be missed.

  • alphager (unregistered) in reply to shMerker
    shMerker:
    Well of course you can't move any icons. Don't you know how long it took Ralph to get them in his favorite shape? They don't have an "arrange by" command for that.

    KDE will have it one day: http://bugs.kde.org/show_bug.cgi?id=165501

    :-)

  • RBoy (unregistered) in reply to shinobu
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    Oh, I get it. It's funny because you saw it on XKCD just a few days ago.

    I LOVE regurgitated comedy.

  • (cs)

    I'm betting Ralph is suffering from a combination of Asperger's Syndrome and massive sexual frustration.

  • RBoy (unregistered) in reply to TimmyEvil
    TimmyEvil:
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    Raul Paul will be coming to get you very shortly...

    That's even better, because it was on XKCD today!

  • Montoya (unregistered)

    The Real WTF (tm), and always the Real WTF (tm), is that people like Ralph always manage to reap so much havoc before someone finally fires them.

  • James Stanley (unregistered)

    New Irish girl advert. Excellent. If only all sites did advertising this way...

  • Montoya (unregistered) in reply to Montoya
    Montoya:
    The Real WTF (tm), and always the Real WTF (tm), is that people like Ralph always manage to reap so much havoc before someone finally fires them.

    *wreak havoc. I knew that seemed wrong :(

  • Alan (unregistered)

    My girlfriend had a boss scream at her for using tabbed browsing instead of having seperate browser windows and using the startbar to do the same thing.

  • Mike (unregistered)

    I don't see why anyone bothered with the light trick at all. Just take the actual cartridge out of the box and see what kind it is.

  • Dirk Diggler (unregistered)

    If left unchecked every LAN tech, DBA, or System Administrator eventually turns into a martinet. They may start out of college/tech school all helpful, but it doesn't take long before they abuse the little power they have. Read the article, how much are you like Ralph? Ask the people you're supposed to support, they might not think there's much difference.

  • A Gould (unregistered) in reply to RBoy
    RBoy:
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    Oh, I get it. It's funny because you saw it on XKCD just a few days ago.

    I LOVE regurgitated comedy.

    Actually, I think that should be the required response to all "First" posts. (bonus points if you research the posters childhood idols)

  • No one you know (unregistered) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    I don't see why anyone bothered with the light trick at all. Just take the actual cartridge out of the box and see what kind it is.

    and then write what kind it is on Ralph's label with a sharpie if it isn't the one you need. kek.

  • Soviut (unregistered) in reply to bc
    bc:
    Wow, can not even imagine this happening in any of the environments that I have worked in. In one place HR had walked people to the door with a 1 day suspension for "making others uncomfortable". On the first you had to retake the initiation "class" on business communicate that covered harassment and other like subjects. Second time you were asked to look into external help via the benefits program and the suspension was a week. Never heard of anyone coming back on the third instance.

    Harassment? This is pure comedy. I couldn't see anyone in the studio I work at taking a guy like this seriously. They'd just laugh as he melted down.

  • yah (unregistered) in reply to Montoya
    Montoya:
    The Real WTF (tm), and always the Real WTF (tm), is that people like Ralph always manage to wreak so much havoc before someone finally fires them.

    FTFY

  • Frank Illium (unregistered)

    Hehe, we all know one.

    On the moving icons on the desktop - I would be annoyed by somebody moving my icons and would move them back anyway.

  • JD (unregistered)

    Well, at least we have the satisfaction of knowing that Ralph was ultimately fired. So many of these horror stories end up with the socially inept Ralph character still having a job at the end of them, which is generally a bigger WTF than the one on show.

    I think there is a lesson here for employers too. Employees like Ralph are a burden to the entire team no matter how strong their skills may be. If anyone on my team reduced a co-worker to tears they would need an exceptionally good reason to escape disciplinary action - or worse.

  • PotatoEngineer (unregistered) in reply to Frank Illium
    Frank Illium:
    Hehe, we all know one.

    On the moving icons on the desktop - I would be annoyed by somebody moving my icons and would move them back anyway.

    It sounds like the issue was that Ralph didn't like other people to their icons into any non-approved configuration---and there was only one approved configuration.

  • WC (unregistered)

    I can't believe that anyone would have put up with this. It wasn't -that- long ago that HP started using the shortened numbers, either... So almost every company already have 'no harassment' rules in place.

    In that situation, I'd have had to let him attack me, so I can report him. Obviously everyone else was too afraid for their jobs to report him.

    That, or this was all made up and just a lie.

  • mauhiz (unregistered)

    DONT YOU POST A COMMENT WITH A NAVIGATOR I DO NOT APPROVE OF!

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    I don't see why anyone bothered with the light trick at all. Just take the actual cartridge out of the box and see what kind it is.

    Because if you open the box, find it's the wrong one, and then put it back Ralph will hit the roof!

  • Addison (unregistered) in reply to WC
    WC:
    I can't believe that anyone would have put up with this. It wasn't -that- long ago that HP started using the shortened numbers, either... So almost every company already have 'no harassment' rules in place.

    In that situation, I'd have had to let him attack me, so I can report him. Obviously everyone else was too afraid for their jobs to report him.

    That, or this was all made up and just a lie.

    better then the opposite. I had a female co-worker once file a harassment claim because I told her she was being stupid. After interviewing my co-workers the management apologized to me and moved her to a simpler job- data entry.

    A note on icons: I once arrived at a new job and did what I normally do on my first day- delete all the icons off my desktop. After all, as a pure developer how many times do I need to use Word? Is it really necessary to have an icon on my desktop devoted to it? I would much rather use that space for scripts/code snippets/to-do lists. So when a technician came in and saw that there were no icons she did what any good technician would do. Assume someone else had made a mistake somewhere. She spent 5 minutes manually putting all the icons back. The second she was gone I deleted them all again.

  • Phiu-x (unregistered) in reply to Jake Grey

    It could be. Otherwise what a poor human being. I would have so kick his ass. Yeah I know its contradictory but sometimes these "nutcase" have to meet their man.

  • (cs) in reply to Frank Illium
    Frank Illium:
    Hehe, we all know one.

    On the moving icons on the desktop - I would be annoyed by somebody moving my icons and would move them back anyway.

    Look, I'm sorry, but there's no "Arrange Icons by Penis".

  • Me (unregistered) in reply to Dirk Diggler
    Dirk Diggler:
    If left unchecked every LAN tech, DBA, or System Administrator eventually turns into a martinet.

    True, but only because we have to continually deal with schmucks like you who "can manage their own computer" until a problem occurs and is made worse due to your inability or unwillingness to read log files, proactively deal with problems, patch, backup, etc, and then you just dump the problem off on us. As a bonus, we get to deal with your whining about how important your work and data is.

  • Fedaykin (unregistered)

    Personally, I would have just started opening cartridge packages until I found the correct cartridge (as labeled directly on the cartridge) for the printer that was out of ink. Any open items which were not correct I would deposit on Ralph's desk.

    Sure, Ralph would be pissed, but it would hardly be difficult to convince Ralph's supervisor that his system was unnecessary, inefficient, and a total waste of company time.

  • Dirk Diggler (unregistered) in reply to Me
    Me:
    Dirk Diggler:
    If left unchecked every LAN tech, DBA, or System Administrator eventually turns into a martinet.

    True, but only because we have to continually deal with schmucks like you who "can manage their own computer" until a problem occurs and is made worse due to your inability or unwillingness to read log files, proactively deal with problems, patch, backup, etc, and then you just dump the problem off on us. As a bonus, we get to deal with your whining about how important your work and data is.

    Why make a personal attack? I wasn't being personal. You have no idea what I do or don't do. Are you channeling Ralph right now?

  • Just Some Guy (unregistered)

    I worked with Ralph's brother once. There are certain advantages to being 6 feet tall and un-scrawny (real-life question presented to me: "are you a football player?"):

    Ralph's brother: Do it this (stupid, illogical) way or else. Me, standing up: Or else what, little man? Ralph's brother: [remembers that he's urgently needed somewhere]

    That wasn't our first go-round and I decided I'd had enough.

  • bongai (unregistered) in reply to shinobu
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    No way Mr. T lives until 2032. I give him until 2018, tops.

  • iToad (unregistered)

    I've seen management discussions referring to people like Ralph as corncobs. This is because dealing with people like them is like using a corncob for toilet paper.

    A lot of companies do not like corncobs, in either worker or management positions. They have noticed that any value added by these people is more than offset by their bad behavior.

    Ralph probably believed that he had unique skills and couldn't be replaced, right up until the moment that he was fired. Unfortunately, conditions are changing in the programming business. With the way things seem to be going, we will probably be returning to the days of the early 80s, where it was not unusual for a company of any size to get hundreds of resumes for any programming opening.

    The bottom line: Don't be a corncob.

  • convicted felon (unregistered) in reply to Me
    Me:
    Dirk Diggler:
    If left unchecked every LAN tech, DBA, or System Administrator eventually turns into a martinet.

    True, but only because we have to continually deal with schmucks like you who "can manage their own computer" until a problem occurs and is made worse due to your inability or unwillingness to read log files, proactively deal with problems, patch, backup, etc, and then you just dump the problem off on us. As a bonus, we get to deal with your whining about how important your work and data is.

    My work and data is the reason you have a job.

    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

  • John (unregistered)

    Too bad Lyle wasn't around. He'd have used a letter AND a number for his codes and HIS decoder would have been database-driven.

  • Me (unregistered) in reply to convicted felon
    convicted felon:
    My work and data is the reason you have a job.

    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    This is point, though.

    Too many users want to be in control of their data and their computer, and those of us that have the experience and the job duties to ensure system and data reliability are labeled as control freaks and martinets for wanting to be proactive and have some controls over what people do (or in some cases we might be enforcing policies or rules from higher up in the food chain). Granted in this case, "Ralph" went way, way overboard, but you can't have it both ways. Either let your IT admin staff do their jobs, or stop whining when your unwillingness to do so blows up in your face.

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to Addison
    Addison:
    WC:
    I can't believe that anyone would have put up with this. It wasn't -that- long ago that HP started using the shortened numbers, either... So almost every company already have 'no harassment' rules in place.

    In that situation, I'd have had to let him attack me, so I can report him. Obviously everyone else was too afraid for their jobs to report him.

    That, or this was all made up and just a lie.

    better then the opposite. I had a female co-worker once file a harassment claim because I told her she was being stupid. After interviewing my co-workers the management apologized to me and moved her to a simpler job- data entry.

    A note on icons: I once arrived at a new job and did what I normally do on my first day- delete all the icons off my desktop. After all, as a pure developer how many times do I need to use Word? Is it really necessary to have an icon on my desktop devoted to it? I would much rather use that space for scripts/code snippets/to-do lists. So when a technician came in and saw that there were no icons she did what any good technician would do. Assume someone else had made a mistake somewhere. She spent 5 minutes manually putting all the icons back. The second she was gone I deleted them all again.

    Consider yourself lucky. Here, we don't have admin accounts on our machines. And all the icons they put on our desktops are put on by the admin accounts. Therefore, you can't delete the icons because you don't have permissions. Furthermore, the ones that you ARE able to delete, get put back on. The next time you reboot they're all restored.

    Damn you Citrix!

  • (cs) in reply to Me
    Me:
    convicted felon:
    My work and data is the reason you have a job.

    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    This is point, though.

    Too many users want to be in control of their data and their computer, and those of us that have the experience and the job duties to ensure system and data reliability are labeled as control freaks and martinets for wanting to be proactive and have some controls over what people do (or in some cases we might be enforcing policies or rules from higher up in the food chain). Granted in this case, "Ralph" went way, way overboard, but you can't have it both ways. Either let your IT admin staff do their jobs, or stop whining when your unwillingness to do so blows up in your face.

    If I could have a dime for every time someone in my dorm asked me to help fix their computer and I found they had Bonzai Buddy and Gator installed because they "Thought it was cute." I'd probably have enough money to buy a gallon of gas. These people rarely change once they get into the working world either, so you can only assume it's gotten a lot worse.

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to convicted felon
    convicted felon:
    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    "Desktop support is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry."

    There. Fixed it for you.

  • MM (unregistered) in reply to WC
    WC:
    I can't believe that anyone would have put up with this. It wasn't -that- long ago that HP started using the shortened numbers, either... So almost every company already have 'no harassment' rules in place.
    Nearly every company has 'no harrassment' rules that say you can't harrass anyone based on their gender, race, religion, etc., but I've never heard of one that said you couldn't harrass someone based on their preference in ink-cartrige labeling.
  • sewiv (unregistered) in reply to bongai

    No way Mr. T lives until 2032. I give him until 2018, tops.

    Have you seen Mr. T lately? He's in great shape for his age.

  • sf (unregistered) in reply to Jake Grey
    Jake Grey:
    I'm betting Ralph is suffering from a combination of Asperger's Syndrome and massive sexual frustration.
    And ass-burger syndrome if he worked at our company, because he'd get is ass chewed off if he tried that behavior here.
  • convicted felon (unregistered) in reply to Mark
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    "Desktop support is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry."

    There. Fixed it for you.

    No need to correct me. I was right the first time. Regardless of the company, its internal IT department is in the business of serving the company's goals.

    Maintaining servers is as much of a service as maintaining desktops. It is not an end in itself.

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to RBoy
    RBoy:
    TimmyEvil:
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    Raul Paul will be coming to get you very shortly...

    That's even better, because it was on XKCD today!

    This always happens to me in family Scrabble games.

  • SarcasmFTW (unregistered) in reply to sewiv

    People still use desktop icons?

    Launchy or similiar such programs are so much faster for accessing programs, data, etc...

Leave a comment on “The Ralph Code”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

« Return to Article