• erissian (unregistered)
    so he took a Magnum 44 black marker which he used to angrily scribble over the entire label

    IT'S A GOD DAMNED MAGNUM B67321 YOU MORONS

  • (cs) in reply to erissian
    When the next order of cartridges arrived and he had 27s that would work in printer A and printer N, he simply applied the label A to half of them, and N to the other half.

    Is anyone else curious what happens if you run out of cartridges for printer A, but have plenty left for printer N? What would Ralph do?

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to convicted felon
    convicted felon:
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    "Desktop support is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry."

    There. Fixed it for you.

    No need to correct me. I was right the first time. Regardless of the company, its internal IT department is in the business of serving the company's goals.

    Maintaining servers is as much of a service as maintaining desktops. It is not an end in itself.

    You're right about the service part. I was taking it to mean service in the low-level, face to face sense.

    But then, that's why it's good to be a Business Analyst. You're in IT, but you contribute directly to the revenue earning divisions of the company (Sales, Marketing, etc.).

    The rest of IT is just a cost center. And sadly, that's how senior leadership vies it in many companies.

  • Me (unregistered) in reply to convicted felon
    convicted felon:

    Maintaining servers is as much of a service as maintaining desktops. It is not an end in itself.

    This attitude is why so many companies end up posted here. We can expect yours any day, if it hasn't made it yet.

    Plumbing is a customer service. Do you argue with the plumber when he comes to your house? I don't. I figure he knows well enough how to attach the pipes together without me standing over him making suggestions, and I'm certainly not going to start throwing fits because he wants to follow the local building code. Ditto for electricians and carpenters. I'd rather let them do their job, and not risk a fire or a flood, because I assume my education, and a do-it-yourself book or two trumps their trade experience.

  • (cs) in reply to Me
    Me:
    Plumbing is a customer service. Do you argue with the plumber when he comes to your house? I don't. I figure he knows well enough how to attach the pipes together without me standing over him making suggestions, and I'm certainly not going to start throwing fits because he wants to follow the local building code. Ditto for electricians and carpenters. I'd rather let them do their job, and not risk a fire or a flood, because I assume my education, and a do-it-yourself book or two trumps their trade experience.
    http://www.uclick.com/client/mwy/db/2008/10/26/index.html
  • IE4 (unregistered) in reply to convicted felon
    convicted felon:
    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    That mentality never really works unless you are in a true vendor/client relationship (i.e., are an external entity that can charge your client on an hourly rate.)

    No, a much better mentality is one of I.T. and the other business units being on the same team. Since you're both teammates, you both try to help each other for the good of the company as a whole.

    (See, with the vendor/customer model, without any actual cost being placed on the customer, the customer will ask for everything they can think of. With the teamwork model, people try to be reasonable.)

  • Harrow (unregistered) in reply to iToad
    iToad:
    The bottom line: Don't be a corncob.
    I never like to be a corncob but sometimes it is the only way to deal with a determinedly shitty asshole.

    -Harrow.

  • MM (unregistered) in reply to Me
    Me:
    Plumbing is a customer service. Do you argue with the plumber when he comes to your house? I don't. I figure he knows well enough how to attach the pipes together without me standing over him making suggestions, and I'm certainly not going to start throwing fits because he wants to follow the local building code. Ditto for electricians and carpenters. I'd rather let them do their job, and not risk a fire or a flood, because I assume my education, and a do-it-yourself book or two trumps their trade experience.
    The last time I left an electrician alone to do his job rather than sticking around to make sure he did what he was asked to, I ended up with an outlet that stuck out three inches from the wall placed where it prevents the door from fully opening rather than the narrow one I was promised placed where I actually wanted an outlet. Nor was that the only problem with his work (though it's the most frustrating). Just because someone's a professional doesn't mean they should just automatically be left to do whatever they want.
  • (cs)

    The Ralphs of the world can be as anal-rentitive about their own desktops as they want. Unless there is a company policy, in writing, about how icons are configured Ralph can go hang.

    I'm a developer but when I get a new laptop I let the desktop techs put the company image on it. They then give me local administrator access that I need to install my developer apps. We all know that if my machine takes a header they'll wipe it and put the standard image back on. Lather, rinse, repeat. Perfectly acceptable because I DON'T PUT EXTRA CRAP ON MY WORK COMPUTER.

    There's no way I can attempt to justify that printer cartridge naming thing even with my fluent command of the Weasel language. That's just total control freak and should have been bitch-slapped into oblivion by management as soon as it started. Most likely they didn't notice because their admins always put the cartridges in the printer.

    About every system admin turning into a martinet unless checked, it all depends on what kind of system administrator they are and what kind of system they're administering. Sometimes you need a martinet to keep the system running. Sometimes you get a martinet because that person has no control over any other aspect of their job. Sad fact of life.

  • OhDear (unregistered)

    The sad problem is not just that most IT departments are run by a Ralph but that after they leave their printer numbering systems persist. My wife's company shuts their servers down at 8PM and on Sundays, and around 5PM on the last day of each month. I doubt their database exceeds a handful of Gigs. I asked why and was told to save money. Most of the management work from home in the evenings and are actually unable to even log into their laptops without the servers running. My old company tried to switch the entire graphic arts department from Macs to Linux in the late 90s. Then when they switched the printer servers over to Linux at that time 1/2 of the company could no longer print on the central printers. This problem was solved by the employees buying their own printers and expensing it. I set up the web division of an IT services company. The network admin refused to hook up a web server for clients to view their sites. Seeing that he was running a dual ISDN line for the entire company I contacted our local cable internet provider and had my own near T1 line connected for around 10% of the cost. Soon the entire sales department hooked up to our connection as it was much faster. My position was secure enough that I told the GM that if my network was touched that I would quit on the spot. After much screaming from the IT department they were told to shape up. 3 Years later, when the company was sold, there were still two networks. One for the IT department($1,200 / mo) and mine ($100 / mo) for nearly half of the company's staff. Captcha SINO: a government transport employee hooked on putting up redundant or meaningless road signs. The transport department is filled with sinos.

  • (cs)

    I would like to punch Ralph in the throat. Just because.

  • RBoy (unregistered) in reply to A Gould
    A Gould:
    RBoy:
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    Oh, I get it. It's funny because you saw it on XKCD just a few days ago.

    I LOVE regurgitated comedy.

    Actually, I think that should be the required response to all "First" posts.

    What, today's XKCD punchline?

  • (cs) in reply to MrsPost
    MrsPost:
    There's no way I can attempt to justify that printer cartridge naming thing even with my fluent command of the Weasel language.

    It's just overkill. If you look in the supply cabinet, now you know which printer cartridge goes to which printer.

    But you would never do things in that order. You would print something, see it's out of ink, and take the cartridge and/or printer model number over to the supply cabinet.

  • Moekandu (unregistered) in reply to Uber
    Uber:
    Me:
    convicted felon:
    My work and data is the reason you have a job.

    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    This is point, though.

    Too many users want to be in control of their data and their computer, and those of us that have the experience and the job duties to ensure system and data reliability are labeled as control freaks and martinets for wanting to be proactive and have some controls over what people do (or in some cases we might be enforcing policies or rules from higher up in the food chain). Granted in this case, "Ralph" went way, way overboard, but you can't have it both ways. Either let your IT admin staff do their jobs, or stop whining when your unwillingness to do so blows up in your face.

    If I could have a dime for every time someone in my dorm asked me to help fix their computer and I found they had Bonzai Buddy and Gator installed because they "Thought it was cute." I'd probably have enough money to buy a gallon of gas. These people rarely change once they get into the working world either, so you can only assume it's gotten a lot worse.

    Dude, you're not charging enough. I mean it's a dorm, at least charge a beer or two for your efforts.

  • (cs) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:
    When the next order of cartridges arrived and he had 27s that would work in printer A and printer N, he simply applied the label A to half of them, and N to the other half.

    Is anyone else curious what happens if you run out of cartridges for printer A, but have plenty left for printer N? What would Ralph do?

    Probably print more labels-- using printer N, of course.

  • iToad (unregistered) in reply to Harrow
    Harrow:
    iToad:
    The bottom line: Don't be a corncob.
    I never like to be a corncob but sometimes it is the only way to deal with a determinedly shitty asshole.

    -Harrow.

    Sometimes, you have to put the corncob where the sun doesn't shine.

  • (cs) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    RBoy:
    TimmyEvil:
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    Raul Paul will be coming to get you very shortly...

    That's even better, because it was on XKCD today!

    This always happens to me in family Scrabble games.

    Breaking news-The president has made nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here. (Possibly a Haberdasher?)

  • (cs) in reply to sewiv
    sewiv:
    Have you seen Mr. T lately? He's in great shape for his age.

    But Night Elf Mohawk is a pretty dangerous job. It's only a matter of time before he gets ganked by a bunch of Tauren.

  • (cs) in reply to bongai
    No way Mr. T lives until 2032. I give him until 2018, tops.

    Mr. T will definitely live until 2032. Not only is he a tough guy who won't tolerate any jibber jabber, but he has changed careers and now works in IT with the rest of us.

    Mr. T: The "T" in I.T.

  • Mark34625 (unregistered) in reply to sf
    sf:
    Jake Grey:
    I'm betting Ralph is suffering from a combination of Asperger's Syndrome and massive sexual frustration.
    And ass-burger syndrome if he worked at our company, because he'd get is ass chewed off if he tried that behavior here.

    Hey if you wanna eat ass in your own time then I have no problem with it, but eating ass in company time is just wrong.

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to SuperousOxide
    SuperousOxide:
    sewiv:
    Have you seen Mr. T lately? He's in great shape for his age.

    But Night Elf Mohawk is a pretty dangerous job. It's only a matter of time before he gets ganked by a bunch of Tauren.

    +1 Funny

  • Ben4jammin (unregistered) in reply to Dirk Diggler
    Dirk Diggler:
    Me:
    Dirk Diggler:
    If left unchecked every LAN tech, DBA, or System Administrator eventually turns into a martinet.

    True, but only because we have to continually deal with schmucks like you who "can manage their own computer" until a problem occurs and is made worse due to your inability or unwillingness to read log files, proactively deal with problems, patch, backup, etc, and then you just dump the problem off on us. As a bonus, we get to deal with your whining about how important your work and data is.

    Why make a personal attack? I wasn't being personal. You have no idea what I do or don't do. Are you channeling Ralph right now?

    Well, when you make a comment in the form of All ___ are ____ then you can generally assume that the group you put in the first blank will not appreciate the stereotype you put in the second blank. Because really, is it even possible for All ___ to be ___? In most cases, I think not. And many of them may take it "personal" when you insinuate such negative stereotypes are not only the norm, but the only possible state of existence for said group.

    Just as the responder has no idea what you do, you have no idea what ALL admins, dbas, etc do either. So why is it you are able to see that his statement is a personal attack, but you appear unable to recognize (or unwilling) to see how and why your comment would invoke such a response?

    Think about how the sentence form All ___ are ___ has been used over the years to put people down and maybe you will come to understand why you will rarely get a positive response from statements constructed that way.

  • cod3_complete (unregistered) in reply to Mark
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    "Desktop support is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry."

    There. Fixed it for you.

    No need to correct me. I was right the first time. Regardless of the company, its internal IT department is in the business of serving the company's goals.

    Maintaining servers is as much of a service as maintaining desktops. It is not an end in itself.

    You're right about the service part. I was taking it to mean service in the low-level, face to face sense.

    But then, that's why it's good to be a Business Analyst. You're in IT, but you contribute directly to the revenue earning divisions of the company (Sales, Marketing, etc.).

    The rest of IT is just a cost center. And sadly, that's how senior leadership vies it in many companies.

    I don't agree with your statement that everyone besides the business analyst is a cost center. If software development is done correctly it SAVES TIME,CUTS COSTS AND IMPROVES EFFICIENCY. So GOOD programmers are actually a profit center. Think about it...

  • Dirk Diggler (unregistered) in reply to Ben4jammin
    Ben4jammin:
    Dirk Diggler:
    Me:
    Dirk Diggler:
    If left unchecked every LAN tech, DBA, or System Administrator eventually turns into a martinet.

    True, but only because we have to continually deal with schmucks like you who "can manage their own computer" until a problem occurs and is made worse due to your inability or unwillingness to read log files, proactively deal with problems, patch, backup, etc, and then you just dump the problem off on us. As a bonus, we get to deal with your whining about how important your work and data is.

    Why make a personal attack? I wasn't being personal. You have no idea what I do or don't do. Are you channeling Ralph right now?

    Well, when you make a comment in the form of All ___ are ____ then you can generally assume that the group you put in the first blank will not appreciate the stereotype you put in the second blank. Because really, is it even possible for All ___ to be ___? In most cases, I think not. And many of them may take it "personal" when you insinuate such negative stereotypes are not only the norm, but the only possible state of existence for said group.

    Just as the responder has no idea what you do, you have no idea what ALL admins, dbas, etc do either. So why is it you are able to see that his statement is a personal attack, but you appear unable to recognize (or unwilling) to see how and why your comment would invoke such a response?

    Think about how the sentence form All ___ are ___ has been used over the years to put people down and maybe you will come to understand why you will rarely get a positive response from statements constructed that way.

    I didn't say 'all', I qualified by saying, 'if left unchecked' they become martinets. But I can see how what I said would make someone defensive. By the way, we're out of the 'N' ink cartridges. :)

  • Jimmy Dolittle (unregistered)

    If there is one thing I have figured out by now its that Ralph ROCKS.

    Jessy www.anonymity.cz.tc

  • matt (unregistered)

    ha ha, I'd love to hear more Ralph stories...

  • sf (unregistered) in reply to Mark34625
    Mark34625:
    sf:
    Jake Grey:
    I'm betting Ralph is suffering from a combination of Asperger's Syndrome and massive sexual frustration.
    And ass-burger syndrome if he worked at our company, because he'd get is ass chewed off if he tried that behavior here.

    Hey if you wanna eat ass in your own time then I have no problem with it, but eating ass in company time is just wrong.

    Depends on what you do for a living.

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to cod3_complete
    cod3_complete:
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    "Desktop support is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry."

    There. Fixed it for you.

    No need to correct me. I was right the first time. Regardless of the company, its internal IT department is in the business of serving the company's goals.

    Maintaining servers is as much of a service as maintaining desktops. It is not an end in itself.

    You're right about the service part. I was taking it to mean service in the low-level, face to face sense.

    But then, that's why it's good to be a Business Analyst. You're in IT, but you contribute directly to the revenue earning divisions of the company (Sales, Marketing, etc.).

    The rest of IT is just a cost center. And sadly, that's how senior leadership vies it in many companies.

    I don't agree with your statement that everyone besides the business analyst is a cost center. If software development is done correctly it SAVES TIME,CUTS COSTS AND IMPROVES EFFICIENCY. So GOOD programmers are actually a profit center. Think about it...

    Not so much. We've all pushed the notion that good developers save the company money. But they still don't generate revenue in the narrowest, oldest accepted sense of the term. Sales brings in money. Developers don't. They do a HELL of a lot to keep things running and to keep the customers happy, etc. But they don't bring in revenue in the strict sense of the term.

    Distinctions exist for a reason. You can't just say that everyone in the company contributes, therefore earns the company money. That may be true in an extremely generic kumba-ya kind of way. But that's not how 3C's make their distinctions. Learning to work within their framework will ensure you get to where you want to be in a company.

    I hate it as much as the next guy to think that IT is considered a "cost center", but it is. IT doesn't generate leads nor does it close sales. Sales does that. IT does lots of other things, but it doesn't earn revenue. That's not to say a more balanced view by 3C's wouldn't be helpful though. Yes, IT is a cost center, but that doesn't mean they need to continue to see it as a necessary evil. The companies that view IT that way are at a strategic disadvantage.

  • pong (unregistered) in reply to John

    I want a Ralph v. Lyle competition.

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to cod3_complete
    cod3_complete:
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    Mark:
    convicted felon:
    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    "Desktop support is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry."

    There. Fixed it for you.

    No need to correct me. I was right the first time. Regardless of the company, its internal IT department is in the business of serving the company's goals.

    Maintaining servers is as much of a service as maintaining desktops. It is not an end in itself.

    You're right about the service part. I was taking it to mean service in the low-level, face to face sense.

    But then, that's why it's good to be a Business Analyst. You're in IT, but you contribute directly to the revenue earning divisions of the company (Sales, Marketing, etc.).

    The rest of IT is just a cost center. And sadly, that's how senior leadership vies it in many companies.

    I don't agree with your statement that everyone besides the business analyst is a cost center. If software development is done correctly it SAVES TIME,CUTS COSTS AND IMPROVES EFFICIENCY. So GOOD programmers are actually a profit center. Think about it...

    "it SAVES TIME,CUTS COSTS AND IMPROVES EFFICIENCY. "

    Think about what you just said. None of those things earn revenue. They reduce operational costs. That's not to knock those traits. But they aren't revenue earners. Spending money on a billboard and getting X new customers, that generates revenue. That's why Sales and Marketing always stays on during widespread layoffs. It sucks, but there's a reason for it. It's shortsighted, but nevertheless...

  • Herohtar (unregistered)
    Of course, this made Ralph even more furious, so he took a .44 Magnum and went on a rampage through office.

    Fixed that for you.

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to OhDear
    OhDear:
    The sad problem is not just that most IT departments are run by a Ralph but that after they leave their printer numbering systems persist. My wife's company shuts their servers down at 8PM and on Sundays, and around 5PM on the last day of each month. I doubt their database exceeds a handful of Gigs. I asked why and was told to save money. Most of the management work from home in the evenings and are actually unable to even log into their laptops without the servers running.
    In a way it sounds like a pretty good company policy -- spend some time with your family instead of dinking around at work. Too many businesses seem to consider their employees on duty 24/7 and try to wring as much unpaid overtime out of them as possible.

    It all started when we were convinced that we needed home computers and laptops (often at our own expense) and now we're chained to our jobs via cell phone and PDA, every waking and many sleeping hours "colonized" by our work life. Heck, I've heard people doing business while in the restroom taking a dump (doing business while doing business, so to speak).

    I sometimes think it would be nice if we had a bit of enforced down time -- if they shut off the Internet and the cell phone system for a few hours each day and we could do a bit of unproductive nothing.

    I'm not a big "stop and smell the roses" type but, still. . .

  • g0ats3 (unregistered)

    i have to poo

  • Ralph Wiggum (unregistered) in reply to kc

    This code tastes like burning.

  • AntiQuercus (unregistered) in reply to shinobu

    Unix time in 2038

    Captcha: mara? Sheesh, gimme a challenge!

  • (cs)

    Haha! That'll learn him.

    Though... now with nobody keeping such a close eye on the printer situation, aren't we letting ourselves in for potential problems later on? After all, without Ralph, we lack an approved method for determining what cartridges are to be used with what printer and the consequences of this could be costly! I mean, you wouldn't want to run out of

  • K (unregistered) in reply to kc

    I'm surprised no one gave the guy a savage beating.

  • christian (unregistered) in reply to convicted felon
    convicted felon:
    My work and data is the reason you have a job.

    IT is a service industry. If you aren't willing to serve your customers, you shouldn't be in the industry.

    I think it's more accurate to say that we generally all need each other, like a soccer team needs offense and defense. Sales without produce development has nothing to sell. Programmers without sales have no income. Without an IT person/people, the programmers waste time configuring the PBX rather than developing product. In a healthy company, all kinds of jobs benefit everyone, either directly or indirectly.

  • gilhad (unregistered)

    well, i would reorganize icons as i see fit them. Should Ralph came and start yealing, i would put headphones on, start some loud misic and change the walpaper. If he would touch me, i would take it as physical attack and defend myself, then call police and ambulance for him.

  • Ralph (unregistered) in reply to Dirk Diggler
    Dirk Diggler:
    By the way, we're out of the 'N' ink cartridges. :)
    That's no problem, Dirk, I always keep an emergency reserve, just let me change these 'A' cartridges first.
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to shinobu
    shinobu:
    first?:
    First???

    Mac Gyver most likely dies in 2030 Luke Skywalker in 2031 Knight Rider in 2032 Mr. T in 2032

    http://www.isxkcdshittytoday.com/

  • Xenobiologista (unregistered) in reply to Jake Grey
    Jake Grey:
    I'm betting Ralph is suffering from a combination of Asperger's Syndrome and massive sexual frustration.

    Can we please stop using Asperger's Syndrome as an excuse for being a jerk? I understand that some people have a hard time reading other people and figuring out what's the correct response in social situations. It may not come intuitively, but this stuff is learnable to some extent.

    Sexual frustration on the other hand...that's always funny.

  • Ralph Blake (unregistered)

    A-B-C-L Always Be Cartridge Labeling

    You got labels. Good labels. You can't read the labels I made, you can't read @%$#, you are @%$#, hit the bricks pal, and beat it, cause you are goin' out. The new label system is weak? The @#$&ing label system is weak? You're weak!

  • tt (unregistered) in reply to Frank Illium

    you just gave me an excellent idea for office prank - from now on, whenever I'll see unlocked PC in my office I'll arrange Icons By <whatever gives biggest difference from original layout/order>

  • tt (unregistered) in reply to JD
    JD:
    If anyone on my team reduced a co-worker to tears they would need an exceptionally good reason to escape disciplinary action - or worse.

    Would I escape disciplinary action if I'd make Ralph cry?

  • Frats (unregistered) in reply to Matt.C

    Best quote so far ;)

  • Frats (unregistered) in reply to Matt.C

    sigh Meant to reply to this one.

    Again: Best qoute so far ;)

    Matt.C:
    Haha! That'll learn him.

    Though... now with nobody keeping such a close eye on the printer situation, aren't we letting ourselves in for potential problems later on? After all, without Ralph, we lack an approved method for determining what cartridges are to be used with what printer and the consequences of this could be costly! I mean, you wouldn't want to run out of

  • Dennis (unregistered) in reply to John
    John:
    Too bad Lyle wasn't around. He'd have used a letter AND a number for his codes and HIS decoder would have been database-driven.

    I would use an actual decoder ring.

  • (cs) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    It all started when we were convinced that we needed home computers and laptops (often at our own expense) and now we're chained to our jobs via cell phone and PDA, every waking and many sleeping hours "colonized" by our work life.
    In our company, the IT staff practically begged to get laptops, home computers and PDA's. They didn't appreciate it when I tried to counter their ideas. The fools, blinded by their new shiny toys :-(
  • Level 2 (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    akatherder:
    When the next order of cartridges arrived and he had 27s that would work in printer A and printer N, he simply applied the label A to half of them, and N to the other half.

    Is anyone else curious what happens if you run out of cartridges for printer A, but have plenty left for printer N? What would Ralph do?

    Probably print more labels-- using printer N, of course.

    That would make it clear that N and A use the same cartidges.

    Ralph would order more cartridges and label half of them A and the other half N.

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