• (cs)

    So, to summarize:

    Highly-Paid Consultant (HPC) goes to client site, finds moron as "IT Administrator" who hasn't done any prereqs he was asked to and asks ridiculous questions, impeding training. HPC sends moron away with mindless busywork so he can train the users. On the return flight, HPC erases all of moron's work and takes a nap.

    Also, first.

  • Matt Westwood (unregistered)

    A tale worthy of The Office. Imagining Ricky Gervais as Tim Brent.

  • Anon (unregistered)

    What format do you want these comments in? I can do Excel, Word, Access or CSV.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    Also, first.

    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.

  • bp (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    XML.

  • Kerin (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi

    Awesome. Summing up IN ADDITION TO a "first" post is way less likely to get deleted, and it's way easier than actually contribuing!  Way to maximize synergies and utilize ideal cost-to-result ratios, guy. 

    To wit, the real WTF is that he didn't have Tim supply the data in an XML file. I thought they were an enterprise!

  • Knux2 (unregistered)

    Most excellent.

  • Dilbertino (unregistered)

    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.

  • Izhido (unregistered)

    ... of course, TRWTF here is that this insensitive clod Mike sent poor, hard-working Tim to do lots of things, just to erase them on his flight home... that bastard Mike. Am I right?

  • Rodnas (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    Also, first.

    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.

    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.

  • (cs)
    Izhido:
    ... of course, TRWTF here is that this insensitive clod Mike sent poor, hard-working Tim to do lots of things, just to erase them on his flight home... that bastard Mike. Am I right?

    That's great. Can we get that in a monospace font?

  • (cs) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.

    No, No, No. The number should be 8675309

    (Showing my age...)

  • BlueCollarAstronaut (unregistered)

    hmm, it's nice that it supports thin client access and works over Terminal Services, but is there any way to make it work over a network so the user doesn't have to be physically in the office to use the software?

  • (cs) in reply to Steve The Cynic

    Great story. I'll have to remember this trick if I'm ever in the same situation.

  • Dazed (unregistered)

    Ah, that takes me back. I once had a project where I and a colleague went to the client site to do two days of prototype integration testing. After the first hour or two we worked out that the most efficient approach was for one of us to do all the work and the other to keep the customer representative at a safe distance. He was actually quite a nice chap, but definitely not the person to have around when you're doing something on a fixed price basis.

  • (cs) in reply to Dazed
    Dazed:
    Ah, that takes me back. I once had a project where I and a colleague went to the client site to do two days of prototype integration testing. After the first hour or two we worked out that the most efficient approach was for one of us to do all the work and the other to keep the customer representative at a safe distance. He was actually quite a nice chap, but definitely not the person to have around when you're doing something on a fixed price basis.

    you must be mike's coworker

  • RBiter (unregistered)

    At the beginning of the story I was thinking, why is he "the Tim." As the story developed I knew why.

  • The Nerve (unregistered)

    Let me tell you the best way to convert all of these comments to Spanish.

  • Kyle Z. (unregistered)

    Just an ordinary day on IT... Sad but true!

    I'll remember that when I face a guy like Tim again.

  • (cs) in reply to The Nerve
    The Nerve:
    Let me tell you the best way to convert all of these comments to Spanish.
    http://tinyurl.com/2woothz
  • (cs)
    we're just going to type them in by hand.

    TRWTF

  • Balentius (unregistered)

    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?

  • whiskeyjack (unregistered)

    I've seen people like that. They either have self-esteem issues, or an inferiority complex, or both. They MUST be seen as helpful, and knowledgeable, and smarter than anyone else in the room. They'll make comments that have no purpose other than to tell everyone else in the room "Look at me! I know what I'm talking about! I'm so smart!"

    To bring in someone else who actually DOES know something more than they do, is seen as a personal affront and a challenge.

    Unfortunately, these people are everywhere. There are salesmen working in stores who cannot stand the possibility that the customer might know more about the product than they do. Conversely, there are customers who enter absolutely confident that they know more about the product than any salesmen or even the engineers or contractors responsible for creating or installing the product. Trades, renovations, contracting, software, sales, food service, you name it, "Tims" are everywhere.

    Luckily there are various techniques to out-Tim the Tims.

  • Skawt (unregistered)

    How do I become an traveling consultant guy? You could even skip the highly paid part, I just want to travel at someone elses expense.

  • (cs) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    Anon:
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    Also, first.

    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.

    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.

    I call shenanigans

    There is no ITC department in the Belgian embassy in The Hague, Netherlands. (where the phone number goes to, call it)

  • boog (unregistered)
    Finally, when he saw a PGP file, he commended Mike's team for using "Plain-Good Privacy" security methods.
    WTF? Plain-Good?

    Captcha: luctus; It's kind of like a lucky cactus.

  • Gram ma (unregistered) in reply to boog
    boog:
    Finally, when he saw a PGP file, he commended Mike's team for using "Plain-Good Privacy" security methods.
    WTF? Plain-Good?

    Way to miss a joke there.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to boog
    boog:
    Finally, when he saw a PGP file, he commended Mike's team for using "Plain-Good Privacy" security methods.
    WTF? Plain-Good?

    Captcha: luctus; It's kind of like a lucky cactus.

    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.

  • Swedish tard (unregistered) in reply to Dazed
    Dazed:
    Ah, that takes me back. I once had a project where I and a colleague went to the client site to do two days of prototype integration testing. After the first hour or two we worked out that the most efficient approach was for one of us to do all the work and the other to keep the customer representative at a safe distance. He was actually quite a nice chap, but definitely not the person to have around when you're doing something on a fixed price basis.

    That is the exact reason we send two techs to every customer when they pay for on site support. One to fend off nosy managers so that the one with his/her back free can get the job done. >.< We are also the most expensive in the business, but apparenty our customers really love our great work.. Ah well. :) Good pay at least.

  • Dries K (unregistered) in reply to Matt Westwood

    My thoughts exactly. This plot only lacks a Freelove Freeway alternative to make for a genuine training day.

  • Machtyn (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    What format do you want these comments in? I can do Excel, Word, Access or CSV.

    I would like mine in XHTML.

    (I would have said XML, but someone took that answer)

  • Buddy (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.

    How about DSMP? Doesn't Suck Much

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to Dilbertino
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.

    Really? I find Freecell more challenging than even the advanced levels of spider.

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.

    Well, since it was a product of "Phil's Pretty Good Software" then I think it was a Pretty Good name. They also had a couple of Pretty Good games and a Pretty Good command-shell replacement, if I recall. And that's probably right, because I have a Pretty Good memory.

  • (cs) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    Anon:
    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.

    Well, since it was a product of "Phil's Pretty Good Software" then I think it was a Pretty Good name. They also had a couple of Pretty Good games and a Pretty Good command-shell replacement, if I recall. And that's probably right, because I have a Pretty Good memory.

    I bought my copy at Ralph's Pretty Good Grocery. "If we don't have it, you probably can get along without it."

  • Inigo Montoya (unregistered) in reply to BlueCollarAstronaut
    BlueCollarAstronaut:
    hmm, it's nice that it supports thin client access and works over Terminal Services, but is there any way to make it work over a network so the user doesn't have to be physically in the office to use the software?

    And while you're at it, can you come up with a version that can be used in an embedded system environment? Don't forget that there might not be a file system present!

  • Dilbertino (unregistered) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.

    Really? I find Freecell more challenging than even the advanced levels of spider.

    Well, Freecell games are (almost) all winnable, having streaks of a few dozen wins is not that hard for experienced players. Advanced Spider is much less 'winnable', so that could be defined as more challenging : )

  • Mogri (unregistered) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.

    Really? I find Freecell more challenging than even the advanced levels of spider.

    If someone tells you he's beaten four-suit Spider Solitaire, he is lying.

  • Spider Flyer (unregistered) in reply to Mogri

    Really?? Then I must be lying.

    That's what the 'undo card' and 'continue game' features are for.

    Four-suit Spider Solitaire is like the 'remove-tile' Majong games: if you don't get the first time, back up and try again, and again, and ...

  • bl@h (unregistered)

    To the frist poster:

    Could I have a couple extra fields displayed within my thin clients interface to TDWTF and could I also have them sorted please? And if you could come in on Saturday that would be great mmmmk?

  • warrior (unregistered)

    "Tim" is really Michael Scott, right?

  • wtf (unregistered) in reply to Spider Flyer
    Spider Flyer:
    Really?? Then I must be lying.

    That's what the 'undo card' and 'continue game' features are for.

    Four-suit Spider Solitaire is like the 'remove-tile' Majong games: if you don't get the first time, back up and try again, and again, and ...

    If you can't beat the game, defeat the purpose. What's with this solitaire crap, anyway? Have you people never heard of rogue?

  • boog (unregistered) in reply to Gram ma
    Gram ma:
    Way to miss a joke there.
    Right. That's what I was doing. Thanks for the assessment.
  • Tommy Tutone (unregistered) in reply to Steve The Cynic
    Steve The Cynic:
    Rodnas:
    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.

    No, No, No. The number should be 8675309

    (Showing my age...)

    Okay, why are you living with Jenny?!?!

  • (cs)

    public class Tim : IFailure

  • SpiderJunky (unregistered) in reply to Mogri

    Ha! It can be done... just takes a red-eyed trance state

  • (cs) in reply to Skawt
    Skawt:
    How do I become an traveling consultant guy? You could even skip the highly paid part, I just want to travel at someone elses expense.
    Trust me, don't do it. You'll end up with fun weekends where your return flight gets delayed and you get back to your home airport a few hours before the next flight leaves. There will be 10,000 other travel annoyances from pretty to disastrous, all so that you can see the places where tourists don't want to go. Conferences and training seminars are sometimes in cool places, but consulting gigs are usually in places like Bloomfield Connecticut, which is basically a 100 square mile office park.
  • Dilbertino (unregistered) in reply to wtf
    wtf:
    What's with this solitaire crap, anyway? Have you people never heard of rogue?

    I don't even want to know how many K-hours I've spent playing Rogue (DOS version)... and still never finished it without save-and-restore. Every two years or so, I spend a few manic weeks trying... It is my solemn goal to finish it (cleanly) before I die!!! (_)

  • The Other Tim (unregistered) in reply to Balentius
    Balentius:
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?
    I think you guys are being a little too harsh. One time I had to add a phone number column, but the data was in Office 2007 format, so I had to upgrade. I downloaded the install image, but it was too big for my CD. So I had to put it on a DVD. My computer didn't have a DVD drive so I bought one and installed it. That made an interrupt conflict with my zip drive, so I had to upgrade to Windows Vista. And after that, things got really nasty.

    So if he did it in an hour I think that's Pretty Good.

  • Bryan The K (unregistered) in reply to warrior
    warrior:
    "Tim" is really Michael Scott, right?

    Close, Dwight Schrute

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