• Iris (unregistered)

    Unfortunately, whether exaggerated or not, the story rings true. I started out as a chemist, in an org that did word processing using Waterloo DCF on a mainframe. Our group was looking for something with a little more flexibility for chemistry docs, and my manager landed on IBM Displaywriters. Yes, this was a while ago. IT resisted this tooth and nail. We were promised they would talk to the IBM STAIRS full text database for report loading, but that took some time. Eventually, all the admins (at that time they were still called secretaries) on the site got Displaywriters. They were then shortly scrapped for PCs, and eventually everybody had them. IT chose token ring for the first pass. Later it went to Ethernet.

    Actually, I ran one of the first PC networks on our site, to support a LIMS (laboratory information management system) installation. Unfortunately, IT insisted it be token ring, when the software company recommended it be Novell. Bad decision for performance, and it was eventually replaced as well.

    A non-IT example. As a company, we went (over time) from doing almost all chemical analysis at a central lab, to doing it in satellite labs in the plants, and back to the central lab. Why? Because some of the plant managers thought they could get better response and lower costs by doing it in their own facility. But the jobs were union jobs, and the most senior union members would bid and get them. Especially given the time frame this took place in, they were of the (very) pre-tech generation. Eventually they figured out that FedEx to the central lab was cheaper, after factoring in personnel, training costs, and the costs of maintaining the equipment in each lab.

    At one time we were running an outside service lab, and were invited to bid on a job by an org that we knew had the in-house personnel with the skills to do the job. We're sure they used our cost estimate to convince management to buy the equipment for them to do the testing, although they initally thought it had to be cheaper to send it out.

    Nobody ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the audience. - Oscar Wilde (I think)

  • (cs) in reply to me
    me:
    It really is much more fun if the stories or real or at least plausible... I.e., exactly not like this made-up crap.

    I hate to feed the troll, but could someone block the anonymous idiot who feels the need to note that all articles on the site are fictional? Yes. You think it's fiction. We get it. Go away and stop embarrassing yourself. Door's on your left. Please let it hit you on the way out.

  • JP (unregistered)

    Six months later a car with a large trunk rolled up. The IT Manager opened the trunk and pulled out one CEO bound with duct tape for recylcing. :p

  • gb (unregistered) in reply to stolen_username

    adblock plus

  • Rob (unregistered)

    This post was poorly written. I found myself re-reading individual sentences several times to extract the meaning from them.

  • (cs) in reply to Iris
    Iris:
    Nobody ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the audience. - Oscar Wilde (I think)

    "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people."

    -H.L. Mencken

    ...or this CEO.

  • PublicLurker (unregistered) in reply to Beeblebrox
    Beeblebrox:
    I hate when the boss gets new stuff and we get the old crap, too. Especially when the boss just uses it for checking e-mail and powerpoint, and I'm trying to run 3 or 4 instances of dev studio, 2 different openGL apps, and some other resource-hogging stuff on a computer that doesn't even have 2 cores or 2 cpus.

    At my wife's old company I helped the IT person use this to their advantage. Every time they bought the PHB a new shiny, they loaded it up with the maximum amount of memory, hard drives, etc. Then before delivering it they pulled all of the extra stuff out and gave it to the poor CAD operators who were suffering 2 minute screen refreshes.

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to Erzengel
    me:
    It really is much more fun if the stories or real or at least plausible... I.e., exactly not like this made-up crap.

    Of course I have no evidence whether or not this or any of the other stories on here are TRUE, but I don't see why you say they are implausible. If you start with the assumption that all human beings are rational, intelligent, fair, and honest, then yes, almost all the stories on this site would be impossible. I guess you also believe that stories you hear of high gas prices and mortgage foreclosures and crime and wars are also all a bunch of crazy fiction.

    If there are any openings in your flawless world, please send me an application form.

    Most of the stories I've read here sound quite plausible to me. Most are a little crazier than anything I've experienced, but just a matter of degree. I presume that's why get posted to a web site. Yes, in real life, MOST of the time, the story tends to go, "Then Bob made a small mistake but it was quickly corrected," or "The boss bought a new computer that we didn't need and it reduced the company's profits by point four percent for the year." Those stories don't tend to get posted to web sites because they're ordinary and boring. The ones that get posted are the ones that are extreme, because those are the ones that are interesting or amusing.

    Well, I've got to go. I'm rushing over to a political web site to make a post about my amazing discovery that Senator McCain once ate a cheese sandwich.

  • (cs)

    Now we know why they need over a billion dollars a quarter in profit...

  • Benjamin (unregistered) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    Well, I've got to go. I'm rushing over to a political web site to make a post about my amazing discovery that Senator McCain once ate a cheese sandwich.

    An American cheese sandwich? Or was it a scandalous Muenster cheese sandwich?

  • Kuba (unregistered) in reply to me
    me:
    It really is much more fun if the stories or real or at least plausible... I.e., exactly not like this made-up crap.

    This is not made up. I'd actually say it's fairly benign. I've heard and seen worse.

  • biziclop (unregistered) in reply to Yarrr
    Yarrr:
    Practically every article here makes me wonder whether anyone ever has the balls to say, "I think this is a bad idea" rather than simply shrug and allow management to plow their company into the ground. These things are amusing, and probably edited for effect, but still...

    My approach is as follows: when business comes up with a braindead idea, I explain why it is not the best one. I try to make sure they understand my concerns. I also outline an alternative solution and explain its advantages. Then I ask them to choose. If they've chosen the original idea, I ask them if they are absolutely sure.

    And then I shrug and implement their stupidity.

    I'm not paid that much to be bothered beyond reason.

  • ChiefCrazyTalk (unregistered) in reply to Erzengel
    Erzengel:
    me:
    It really is much more fun if the stories or real or at least plausible... I.e., exactly not like this made-up crap.

    I hate to feed the troll, but could someone block the anonymous idiot who feels the need to note that all articles on the site are fictional? Yes. You think it's fiction. We get it. Go away and stop embarrassing yourself. Door's on your left. Please let it hit you on the way out.

    Not fictional? I call fake!

  • (cs) in reply to Kuba
    Kuba:
    me:
    It really is much more fun if the stories or real or at least plausible... I.e., exactly not like this made-up crap.

    This is not made up. I'd actually say it's fairly benign. I've heard and seen worse.

    More to the point, we have yet to make up better.

    Perhaps for the next TDWTF competition?

  • Loren Pechtel (unregistered) in reply to Yarrr
    Yarrr:
    Practically every article here makes me wonder whether anyone ever has the balls to say, "I think this is a bad idea" rather than simply shrug and allow management to plow their company into the ground. These things are amusing, and probably edited for effect, but still...

    The problem is the sort of managers that do these things aren't going to listen to "I think this is a bad idea"--if there is any reaction it will be to fire the person saying it.

  • biziclop (unregistered) in reply to Loren Pechtel
    Loren Pechtel:
    Yarrr:
    Practically every article here makes me wonder whether anyone ever has the balls to say, "I think this is a bad idea" rather than simply shrug and allow management to plow their company into the ground. These things are amusing, and probably edited for effect, but still...

    The problem is the sort of managers that do these things aren't going to listen to "I think this is a bad idea"--if there is any reaction it will be to fire the person saying it.

    I'm not scared of being fired for that, never been. But I don't want to spend my days fighting idiots. It's not about balls, ultimately it's about your own health. Because it's your blood pressure that skyrockets every time PHB opens his mouth and you have the urge to fight him.

    There are so many other jobs in the world for a Java developer. Like, er, cheesemongering.

  • (cs) in reply to Benjamin
    Benjamin:
    An American cheese sandwich? Or was it a scandalous Muenster cheese sandwich?
    There is no American cheese. We have something called "cheese product", or "processed cheese" which has the consistency of rubber and the flavor of cardboard. In the spirit of the baby formula industry, why eat something pure and natural when you can throw together a bunch of chemicals, add some sugar and preservatives, and thereby improve upon nature?
  • Jason (unregistered)

    All bank IT departments suck.

  • (cs) in reply to biziclop
    biziclop:
    There are so many other jobs in the world for a Java developer. Like, er, cheesemongering.
    Sadly, there's a terrible shortage of Wensleydale round here.

    But what the heck? Programming Java isn't the sort of thing you'd boast to your mother about. It's marginally better than dressing up as a Viking and singing songs about spam, however.

  • (cs) in reply to FredSaw
    FredSaw:
    Benjamin:
    An American cheese sandwich? Or was it a scandalous Muenster cheese sandwich?
    There is no American cheese. We have something called "cheese product", or "processed cheese" which has the consistency of rubber and the flavor of cardboard. In the spirit of the baby formula industry, why eat something pure and natural when you can throw together a bunch of chemicals, add some sugar and preservatives, and thereby improve upon nature?
    This is, sadly, all too true. If anything, it's the one thing that flummoxes foreigners in the USA. (I mean, Wisconsin? You've got a whole goddamn state dedicated to producing the raw materials.)

    Your bacon is execrable (good-bye Iowa) and your potatoes suck (good-bye Idaho). As for your bread, it is to laugh.

    Still the best freaking place in the world to live, though.

    PS Did I mention beer?

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to JonTurner
    JonTurner:
    Won't be long before he's bringing a truckload of worthless stock certificates.

    Feature this.

    CAPTCHA: genitus

  • Ben (unregistered) in reply to my name is missing

    And banks are the best!

  • TJ (unregistered)

    At least hes recycling it

  • Sanjay Kumar (unregistered)

    Ottawa, Feb 2001 - the best time for skating on Rideau Canal. But we were feverishly working fixing bugs for a release that was due in a few days. The PHB takes half of the day off. Before leaving he emails the team that he was going skating but "mind you, this is crunch time, so buckle up, spend midnight oil and let's make this a success."

    A great example he set.

  • Peter (unregistered) in reply to Rob
    Rob:
    This post was poorly written. I found myself re-reading individual sentences several times to extract the meaning from them.
    I don't live in an english speaking country nor is english my primary language, yet I had no trouble understanding the article without having to re-read a single sentence. Maybe it's time for you to stop whining and learn reading english instead.
  • (cs) in reply to Peter
    Peter:
    Rob:
    This post was poorly written. I found myself re-reading individual sentences several times to extract the meaning from them.
    I don't live in an english speaking country nor is english my primary language, yet I had no trouble understanding the article without having to re-read a single sentence. Maybe it's time for you to stop whining and learn reading english instead.
    Keep reading: we have both kinds of troll round here...
  • snoofle (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    Kuba:
    This is not made up.
    More to the point, we have yet to make up better.

    Perhaps for the next TDWTF competition?

    Seconded: a prize to whomever makes up the best story!

  • The 'Other' guy (unregistered) in reply to Quango
    Quango:
    An excellent example of why CEOs should not define IT strategy, and leave it to the IT manager.

    Any company where the C*O is defining anything tactical (i.e., < 3 years out) is a WTF in the making.

    The best way to deal with fools like this is to either provide consultant services or sell them a generic program (that you will then sell again to the next WTF, inc. and so on).

    I've seen this far too many times to count in small companies that experience a bit of growth, but the owner(s) are too much of control freaks to delegate, so the growth ends. Large companies are also not immune to this idiocy, but fortunately such damage is usually limited to one or two departments at a time.

  • Dude (unregistered) in reply to Resa
    Resa:
    Sanjay Kumar:
    This is too dramatic. Doesn't look credible.

    This guy is full of shit.

    So are you but no-one is complaining.

  • TomatoQueen (unregistered) in reply to ParkinT

    Erm, no.

    The non DoD agencies use old Dells, mine is an Optiplex GX280, last I looked it's not even mentioned in the auction section of Dell's website. Legacy apps in use every day, dating from the '90s, require the continuing use of IE6 and Office 2003. IBM's PCOMS. Your tax dollars at work.

  • matt (unregistered) in reply to Dude
    Dude:
    Resa:
    Sanjay Kumar:
    This is too dramatic. Doesn't look credible.

    This guy is full of shit.

    So are you but no-one is complaining.

    That is the second most nonsensical post I've ever seen in my life. (Second to this one, of course)

    Not fictional? I call fake!

    The fake is a lie! (Well it is, isn't it?)

  • The Fake WTF (unregistered)

    They should point out that, in spite of the power usage, the IT department is the greenest because of all the recycling they do...

  • iMalc (unregistered)

    What next, sell the truck?

    I swear I can hear the "gimmie gimmie" of everyone out there that's stuck on a cruddy old PC from the dinosaur age.

  • (cs)

    This seems to be a classical instance of the CEO who got his or her MBA at the school where the core class was "Management by Inflight Magazine". Sit in business class with their third Martini, bored and sloshed and pick up the latest buzzword-du-jour out of the pocket in front of them.

    A good IT manager (which I strive to be, though I will leave it to my team to decide that at my next 360 review, but I digress) can "play" such to the advantage of the organisation at most and for the IT department at the least.

    This didn't seem to be happening which may qualify as a minor additional WTF.

    Our CEO is a bit of a "gadget freak" who always picks up on new technology and then asks about how quickly we could implement it. Blackberries is/were only the least of those.

    I find I can channel these "requirements" into more strategic projects (in one example shifting the IT data centre to massively adopt virtualisation) by presenting my business cases such that "we should do <blablablastrategystuff> do properly implement <blablablaCEOpetproject>". And keep the CEO happy by presenting them with a little "island solution" - they get their wish and the organisation gets something that makes more sense - and looks just sufficiently alike that they think their brainchild has transformed the organisation.

    I'm being a little unfair - as CEOs go, who I've encountered through my career, she is actually really with it and not one who think that IT is some ball and chain that should just be shucked off the India.

  • phexitol (unregistered) in reply to Beeblebrox
    Beeblebrox:
    I hate when the boss gets new stuff and we get the old crap, too. Especially when the boss just uses it for work-related crap and Microsoft Office, and I'm trying to run 3 or 4 instances of BitTorrent, 2 Quake 4 servers, and play Crysis on a computer that doesn't even have 2 cores or 2 cpus.

    Edited for honesty ;p

  • WildKard (unregistered) in reply to Beeblebrox

    At least make BOINC (http://boinc.berkeley.edu) part of the company-approved software and install it on his machine. To you know... increase measurement of downtime-based performance protocols or something...

    Sure it's not perfect but you won't be having nightmares about that fancy machine "only" doing email.

  • Sambo (unregistered) in reply to Rob

    Disagreed, i thought the post was very clear and well written.

    Seems too horrific to be true though.

  • (cs) in reply to Alan
    Alan:
    Well, at least the CEO was generous. I hate it when the boss gets all the latest kit when you are slugging away with yellowing 5 year old stuff.

    You get yellowing 5 year old stuff? Luxury (or correctly pronounced - look-sha-ree)! Where I work, you have to beg to get a Commodore 64 and a pedal generator to power it.

    I kid. I actually have one of our newest models (dual core, etc).

  • The Grammar Avenger (unregistered) in reply to Anakin Somebody
    Anakin Somebody:
    I find your lack of faith, disturbing.
    I find your shocking abuse of the noble and blameless comma even more disturbing.
  • (cs)

    ... turns out the guy was stealing trucks!

  • (cs) in reply to matt
    matt:
    The fake is a lie! (Well it is, isn't it?)
    I vote we use this line to tag all the "shenanigans" trolls henceforth. Best comment of the day!
  • (cs) in reply to The Grammar Avenger
    The Grammar Avenger:
    Anakin Somebody:
    I find your lack of faith, disturbing.
    I find your shocking abuse of the noble and blameless comma even more disturbing.
    C'mon, it was a direct quote from Star Wars. Agreed: even in a screen-play, it should be an ellipsis and not a comma, but the difference is nugatory.

    Us Grammar Nazis have meatier fish to fry than this.

    Addendum (2008-05-24 11:02): Did I say "Us?"

    I meant "U.S." of course.

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to ParkinT
    ParkinT:
    This sounds suspiciously like the US Government !

    As a software developer for the US Government, I have to say that your assessment is backwards. The agency for which I work is still running Windows 2000 and uses 3270s and IBM mainframes.

    And we are one of the entities leading the global fight against cyber crime... go figure.

  • ageekintraining (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    FredSaw:
    Benjamin:
    An American cheese sandwich? Or was it a scandalous Muenster cheese sandwich?
    There is no American cheese. We have something called "cheese product", or "processed cheese" which has the consistency of rubber and the flavor of cardboard. In the spirit of the baby formula industry, why eat something pure and natural when you can throw together a bunch of chemicals, add some sugar and preservatives, and thereby improve upon nature?
    This is, sadly, all too true. If anything, it's the one thing that flummoxes foreigners in the USA. (I mean, Wisconsin? You've got a whole goddamn state dedicated to producing the raw materials.)

    Your bacon is execrable (good-bye Iowa) and your potatoes suck (good-bye Idaho). As for your bread, it is to laugh.

    Still the best freaking place in the world to live, though.

    PS Did I mention beer?

    Yeah... Used to live in the US, not anymore, you can get American cheese where I live, but we like to call it "American plastic". Real food (The cucumbers here have flavor!) just tastes a whole lot better than over treated chemical garbage :)

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    ParkinT:
    This sounds suspiciously like the US Government !

    As a software developer for the US Government, I have to say that your assessment is backwards. The agency for which I work is still running Windows 2000 and uses 3270s and IBM mainframes.

    And we are one of the entities leading the global fight against cyber crime... go figure.

    To be fair to the Feds, it's rather hard to hack a 3270 terminal.

    At least, if it's in a Faraday cage.

  • notme (unregistered) in reply to ageekintraining
    ageekintraining:
    real_aardvark:
    FredSaw:
    Benjamin:
    An American cheese sandwich? Or was it a scandalous Muenster cheese sandwich?
    There is no American cheese. We have something called "cheese product", or "processed cheese" which has the consistency of rubber and the flavor of cardboard. In the spirit of the baby formula industry, why eat something pure and natural when you can throw together a bunch of chemicals, add some sugar and preservatives, and thereby improve upon nature?
    This is, sadly, all too true. If anything, it's the one thing that flummoxes foreigners in the USA. (I mean, Wisconsin? You've got a whole goddamn state dedicated to producing the raw materials.)

    Your bacon is execrable (good-bye Iowa) and your potatoes suck (good-bye Idaho). As for your bread, it is to laugh.

    Still the best freaking place in the world to live, though.

    PS Did I mention beer?

    Yeah... Used to live in the US, not anymore, you can get American cheese where I live, but we like to call it "American plastic". Real food (The cucumbers here have flavor!) just tastes a whole lot better than over treated chemical garbage :)

    It's no wonder that "tastes like chicken" is such a stereotypical American phrase.

  • PS (unregistered) in reply to Survey User 2338
    Survey User 2338:
    This story explains why capitalism is the best way to organize an economy because it can withstand the crushing stupidity of humans.

    What made a position with enough power to enforce such a stupidity in the first place necessary again?

  • theClev (unregistered) in reply to PublicLurker

    I'm lucky enough to have a decent CEO in this regard. He uses an old Dell 2.4GHz Pentium 4 that I recently upgraded to 1GB of RAM with some extra sticks I had laying around. He uses Outlook, Word and Excel. He surfs to business-related sites (Forbes.com, etc.) He doesn't do his taxes on his work machine, or play games, or install IE toolbars, or load up music. His machine runs flawlessly every day, and that's all he cares about. He has never once mentioned the need for any kind of upgrade.

    He also reads in the business magazines about new software, computing trends, etc. When he finds something intriguing, he photocopies it and leaves it in my mailbox with an "FYI" in the corner. He trusts me to make the best business decisions for the company's infrastructure, and he almost never turns me down when I request equipment.

    I get a lot of shit in my job, but having a supportive CEO makes the difference between me accepting the shit, and posting my resume on Monster.

  • (cs) in reply to notme
    notme:
    It's no wonder that "tastes like chicken" is such a stereotypical American phrase.
    Well, that's not a beer I'd like to taste.

    I suppose it depends what sort of a head it has on it.

    What was your point again?

    But thank you for listening.

  • (cs) in reply to theClev
    theClev:
    I'm lucky enough to have a decent CEO in this regard. He uses an old Dell 2.4GHz Pentium 4 that I recently upgraded to 1GB of RAM with some extra sticks I had laying around. He uses Outlook, Word and Excel. He surfs to business-related sites (Forbes.com, etc.) He doesn't do his taxes on his work machine, or play games, or install IE toolbars, or load up music. His machine runs flawlessly every day, and that's all he cares about. He has never once mentioned the need for any kind of upgrade.

    He also reads in the business magazines about new software, computing trends, etc. When he finds something intriguing, he photocopies it and leaves it in my mailbox with an "FYI" in the corner. He trusts me to make the best business decisions for the company's infrastructure, and he almost never turns me down when I request equipment.

    I get a lot of shit in my job, but having a supportive CEO makes the difference between me accepting the shit, and posting my resume on Monster.

    Go with Jobserve. Monster is a complete waste of space, and involves phone calls from a bunch of desperate resume-trolling cretins who want to sell your ass for a buck.

    Get out of there, and use Jobserve. I have no link to peddle here -- I'm just making a suggestion. (And it's not like most of the contacts on Jobserve are any fucking use anyway. Deal with it).

    Get yerself a life.

    Addendum (2008-05-24 17:48):

    theClev:
    I'm lucky enough to have a decent CEO in this regard. He uses an old Dell 2.4GHz Pentium 4 that I recently upgraded to 1GB of RAM with some extra sticks I had laying around. He uses Outlook, Word and Excel. He surfs to business-related sites (Forbes.com, etc.) He doesn't do his taxes on his work machine, or play games, or install IE toolbars, or load up music. His machine runs flawlessly every day, and that's all he cares about. He has never once mentioned the need for any kind of upgrade.

    He also reads in the business magazines about new software, computing trends, etc. When he finds something intriguing, he photocopies it and leaves it in my mailbox with an "FYI" in the corner. He trusts me to make the best business decisions for the company's infrastructure, and he almost never turns me down when I request equipment.

    I get a lot of shit in my job, but having a supportive CEO makes the difference between me accepting the shit, and posting my resume on Monster.

    Go with Jobserve. Monster is a complete waste of space, and involves phone calls from a bunch of desperate resume-trolling cretins who want to sell your ass for a buck.

    Get out of there, and use Jobserve. I have no link to peddle here -- I'm just making a suggestion. (And it's not like most of the contacts on Jobserve are any fucking use anyway. Deal with it).

    Get yerself a life.

    PS: I assume this is the UK. And you have yourself a "CEO."

    Better marry the fucker, then.

    Have we all gone mad?

    Addendum (2008-05-24 17:48): PS: I assume this is the UK. And you have yourself a "CEO."

    Better marry the fucker, then.

    Have we all gone mad?

    Addendum (2008-05-24 17:50): Aught -- can't delete.

    Danger, Will Robinson.

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