The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

TomCo · 2006-06-16 Reply Admin

Random Thoughts - with Tom C.O.

public object BankWithUs(int bankKey, object PLEASE_DO_NOT_ROB);

object GoToBankAndPassTheJuice = new BankWithUs(OurBank,humanObject(initWithJuice));

GoToBankAndPassTheJuice.withdrawal(initWithForce);

Caught?! How did that happen? I'm sure I passed a reference to "the juice"!

Cooper · 2006-06-16 Reply Admin

marvin_rabbit:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Alex Papadimoulis:

DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER);

public void SaveOrg(int cmpKey, object org, object DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER);

I wonder if the parameter should be of type object. Maybe it should inherit from a base class such as the Illudium236SpaceModulator class.

I thought it was Uranium PU-36?

My WTF. It is actually 'illudium Q-38 explosive space modulator'

I hate being the prick that says "You're all wrong." So, I'll try this instead.

Ahem; "Just about everyone has been partially right!"

Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

According to this, Uranium was at least temporarily correct. As opposed to geranuim, which was never correct except in Pogo.

rbanzai · 2006-06-16 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Much like opening/closing the main drain in Joe vs. the Volcano, it probably does nothing.

There is a "MAIN DRAIN" sign hanging off of some pipes in the stairwell at work and every time I pass it all I can think of is Joe vs. The Volcano.

2006-06-16 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
This reminds me of touring through Australia's only nuclear reactor at Lucas Heights, near Sydney. Inside the reactor there is a button, which says

'Do Not Press This Button'

Apparently it was hooked up to a counter. Particularly fun on open to the public days.

I need to get me one of those. :-)

2006-06-16 Reply Admin

I think that it will cause a magnetic disturbance that will crash planes.

Mark · 2006-06-16 Reply Admin

// Please do not read this comment

// Thank you

Jeff S · 2006-06-16 Reply Admin

Mark:
// Please do not read this comment

// Thank you

ha! .. very nice! thanks for a good laugh.

Great WTF, great comments.

It's nice to see a simple WTF now and then that doesn't involve trying to parse dozens of lines of madening source code.

Tyrathect · 2006-06-16 Reply Admin

public object LoadOrg(int cmpKey, IObject DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER);

2006-06-16 Reply Admin

a. how can one call the method without providing all the parameters?
2. What happened?!

Heh, the captcha is 'random'

2006-06-16 Reply Admin

"I have no response to that" was also used in "LA Story", also a brilliant movie.

Rank Amateur · 2006-06-16 Reply Admin

So I instantiated a do_not_use_at_all_ever object, which I won't use at all ever, so I can use LoadOrg as required. But if I use my do_not_use_at_all_ever object for LoadOrg then I'm no longer not using the do_not_use_at_all_ever object.

I'm stuck.

--Rank

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

OneFactor:
Now the Python was more crafty than any of the wild animals inherited from Object. He said to the woman, "Did God really name the fruit, 'DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER'?"
The woman said to the Python, "We may use the cmpKey, but God did say, 'You must not use fruit at all ever, and you must not construct a reference to it, or you will throw an exception.' "
"You will not throw an exception," the Python said to the woman. "For God knows that when you use it your IObject will be implemented, and you will be.Equal(toGod), knowing good and evil."
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and inherited from IObject, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she de-referenced it and called a method. She also passed a reference to her husband, who was with her, and he de-referenced it. Then the IObjects of both of them were implemented, and they realized their object references had not been set to an instance of object; so they sewed fig leaves together and made traces for their stacks.

And then the Python said:
>>> import this

And it was good.

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

it becomes fairly obvious from this (and other) comments why female programmers do not exist. Couldn't say coworker, couldn't say another programmer, had to say female programmer. Lucky for all of us male programmers never make mistakes and are never singled out as a group for ridicule. Once worked with a male programmer whose code was always half done and half right, but I never thought it was cause he was male, just that he was incompetent.

ammoQ · 2006-06-17 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
it becomes fairly obvious from this (and other) comments why female programmers do not exist. Couldn't say coworker, couldn't say another programmer, had to say female programmer. Lucky for all of us male programmers never make mistakes and are never singled out as a group for ridicule. Once worked with a male programmer whose code was always half done and half right, but I never thought it was cause he was male, just that he was incompetent.

It becomes fairly obvious that some people lack the necessary education to recognize a bible parody, in this case Genesis chapter 2 (the story about Adam and Eve).

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

cough I know a female programmer that write his code WITHOUTH TABULATION

if (something()) { whatever()} else if (whatever()){ foo()
} else if (other()) { dadadadadadad(); i = i +1; foo() };
.... tons of code.

After the program is finished, this female rewrite the code adding the tabulation. cough

--Tei

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
it becomes fairly obvious from this (and other) comments why female programmers do not exist. Couldn't say coworker, couldn't say another programmer, had to say female programmer. Lucky for all of us male programmers never make mistakes and are never singled out as a group for ridicule. Once worked with a male programmer whose code was always half done and half right, but I never thought it was cause he was male, just that he was incompetent.

public class FemaleProgrammer extends Programmer {
    // do not use at all ever
}

qbolec · 2006-06-17 Reply Admin

It would have been simpler to mark the second parameter as const, wouldn't it?

And, frankly, what interesting things can they do inside the funcition if the type of argument is only known to be as 'object'? Convert to string? Store in hashtable? Does it hurt ? (I've never been converted)

Seriously if they don't want caller to pass the second argument, they should have name it 'DO_NOT_PASS_ANYTHING', or just 'USE_NULL_HERE'.

And even more seriously: why do they expose such an interface instead of

public object LoadOrg(int cmpKey) { LoadOrg(cmpKey,null); }

...which is probably already implemented if [as mentioned earlier] the method uses default parameters (but in this case you can't expect to have different access privilege than the full version, though)

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

Er, I presume the argument was named so because it was impossible to change the method signature at this stage, but was there something that prevented the original implementer from doing

if (DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER!=null) {
DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER = null;
}

and continuing?

or maybe even

if (DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER!=null) throw new IllegalArgumentException("Now you've done it...");

I'm using Java here, but should look almost the same in C# I presume...

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

ammoQ:
Anonymous:
it becomes fairly obvious from this (and other) comments why female programmers do not exist. Couldn't say coworker, couldn't say another programmer, had to say female programmer. Lucky for all of us male programmers never make mistakes and are never singled out as a group for ridicule. Once worked with a male programmer whose code was always half done and half right, but I never thought it was cause he was male, just that he was incompetent.

It becomes fairly obvious that some people lack the necessary education to recognize a bible parody, in this case Genesis chapter 2 (the story about Adam and Eve).

It becomes fairly obvious that some people leap to conclusions. I think you'll find that this was a response to an earlier post by Digitalbath, not to the bible parody. But yes, it would help if people could quote what they are replying to.

Hmm: I hope the captcha of 'clueless' isn't referring to my post ...

devdas · 2006-06-17 Reply Admin

ammoQ:

It becomes fairly obvious that some people lack the necessary education to recognize a bible parody, in this case Genesis chapter 2 (the story about Adam and Eve).

Anonymous was referring to:

Digitalbath:

I once had a female coworker who happened to have that talent as well. My favorite story is when some random morning, she overheard someone say that our tech lead was taking a personal day that day. She exclaimed, "NO!!! He has to come in today. He HAS to help me fix what I broke."

as sexist. I happen to agree with anonymous in this case.

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

don't worry...you're not the one to correct them...

why not check the proper site?

"Marvin The Martian has a whole host of space age tools to aid him in his efforts. The Illudium Pew 36 Explosive Space is part of his arsenal."

http://looneytunes.warnerbros.com/stars_of_the_show/marvin_the_martian/marvin_story.html

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:

public object LoadOrg(int cmpKey, object DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER);

One question I am thinking about is not answered yet:

I do understand I must not "use" the Object, but what does s/he mean? May I use the object before I passe it to the function? Do I have to throw it away like a "disposable object" (I don't know if this is the right translation). Must it be null?
Whatever...

greetings

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

http://looneytunes.warnerbros.com/stars_of_the_show/marvin_the_martian/marvin_story.html

Have a look at source of that website. Now that is a WTF.

And this forum-software is the worst I've ever seen.

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

If it's a deprecated parameter, than why not do as a previous poster said and mark it using the ObsoleteAttribute? Then create a new overload that doesn't include said parameter. Sure seems it would be a lot more helpful than marking it as the "forbidden fruit" parameter.

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

ParkinT:

"Never, ever cross the streams"

-paraphrased from Ghostbusters

Unless not crossing them doesn't work...

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

Cowboy:
http://looneytunes.warnerbros.com/stars_of_the_show/marvin_the_martian/marvin_story.html
Have a look at source of that website. Now that is a WTF.
And this forum-software is the worst I've ever seen.

I sort of envy you.
You are new to internet and are about to discover a lot of interesting stuff out there.

Don't be discouraged by the implementation of the sites though, just enjoy them.

captcha: bedtime ?
I guess it is.

2006-06-17 Reply Admin

This WTF reminds me of some of the rather not so good ideas I had shortly after I discovered the fancy world of computer programming (I'm a hobbyist, no professional). I made my first steps in Visual Basic 6 and was amazed by the IntelliSense features of VB's IDE at that time. One especially "interesting" thing was the feature that every time you typed in a function call and encountered a parameter of an enum type, the IDE automatically popped up a list with all the available constants of this enum. So the idea grew in my mind that you could abuse this to display usage notes, help or other documentation for the function.
The plan was kind of like this:

Public Enum SomeFunction_Documentation
This_is_a_function_doing_something_useful
ParamA__Pass_your_important_data_here
ParamB__pass_your_even_more_important_data_here
Return_value__Returns_an_object_of_calss_SomethingUseful
Raises_a_FileNotFound_error_if_ParamB_is_dividable_by_2_or_a_date
End Enum

Public Function SomeFunction(ParamA As Variant, ParamB As Variant, Optional DoNotUseMe As SomeFunction_Documentation)
'...
End Function

Luckily, the idea never made it into reality...

2006-06-18 Reply Admin

Wow, that is a beautiful (if disturbing) WTF. Kinda brings the whole concept of literate programming to a new level.

Rugrat · 2006-06-18 Reply Admin

PS:

That's what JavaDoc is for. Did VB's IDE not have something similar that showed the documentation?

Pete

2006-06-18 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Wow, that is a beautiful (if disturbing) WTF. Kinda brings the whole concept of literate programming to a new level.

Its not.

The next level Is to replace txt code by xml code (or binary). So you can tint your code, use bold, italic, place tooltips, place buttons, etc.. you can do that with Black Box Oberon Pascal. I dont like it.

-Tei

2006-06-18 Reply Admin

Rugrat:
PS:
That's what JavaDoc is for. Did VB's IDE not have something similar that showed the documentation?

Pete

I know. Now. That was several years ago and I was a bloody beginner at that time. I didn't even know what a "documentation" was, I just used the word here to make things easier to understand.

Anonymous:
The next level Is to replace txt code by xml code (or binary). So you can tint your code, use bold, italic, place tooltips, place buttons, etc.. you can do that with Black Box Oberon Pascal. I dont like it.

-Tei

Hmm, how do you program the buttons? Can you insert buttons into the code behind the buttons as well?

tin · 2006-06-18 Reply Admin

Now there's a book I havent seen for about 10 years.
My sister used to be scared of it :P

tin · 2006-06-18 Reply Admin

Build one. Counters aren't complicated....
If you dont go for electronics, then find a simple diagram for hooking a button to the joystick or parallel port and write a short counting program.

Also, Im pretty sure the radio telescope near here has had various devices like this over the years... They often have open days, and the electronics guys are often building little gadgets for a laugh.

Edit: I should have quoted the comments about the lucas heights reactor and someone wanting a similar counter... Stupid forum software... Never seems to do what you expect.

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Hey, this is the second "Steve" in a row! Was it here at TDWTF that I read about the "steve to girl ratio"?

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Disgruntled DBA:
RayS:
Recent upgrades to the system have actually changed this...

public object LoadOrg(int cmpKey, object DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER_I_MEAN_IT);

...


Yes, but then someone submitted this code:
...
try
{LoadOrg (num, DOES_ANYBODY_WANT_A_PEANUT);}
...

if (DO_NOT_USE_AT_ALL_EVER_I_MEAN_IT.equals(DOES_ANYBODY_WANT_A_PEANUT)) {return "Oook!";}

(Weird .... my captcha just happens to be "null".)

Samah · 2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Carl de Billy:

Maybe a THIS_PARAMETER_IS_NO_LONGER_USED name would have been a better idea.

That's the reason why there is an [Obsolete] attribute into the .NET Framework.

Similarly, Java 1.5 has the @Deprecated annotation. Most decent compilers will also pick up a @deprecated tag inside Javadoc too.

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

I am actually kind of surprised that no-one has suggested this usage of the method, since it is something that I see quite often when reviewing code made by less-than-perfect-programmers.

This is clearly an example of a solution to the "overload-dilemma" that occurs when it is discovered that you need an overload to an existing method, that does more or less the same as the primary method, but in a slightly different way. This method will require the same input-parameters as well as return value, so you cannot make a clean overloaded method. Instead a bogus input variable is specified which solves the problem for the programmer ... but not necessarily for the overall application.

Jesper Stocholm
http://stocholm.dk

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

Anonymous:
The next level Is to replace txt code by xml code (or binary). So you can tint your code, use bold, italic, place tooltips, place buttons, etc.. you can do that with Black Box Oberon Pascal. I dont like it.

-Tei

Hmm, how do you program the buttons? Can you insert buttons into the code behind the buttons as well?

You select it, then right-click. A menu show to change label, and set oncommand function, and two guards (functions to disable/able the button). These functions are also in the source code. You can think that the source code is a big delphi form to where place code and forms.
Here is this stuff: http://www.oberon.ch/blackbox.html
The fun stuf is.. you manually place code folders, and your source code can crash :D
I dont like it because is Pascal, and very strongly typed, and is designed as a strong framework with Oberon-OS ideas. So its dificult to read and write text files... And because is slighty underpowered for hacking. Its much better to use python with a gui console, or maybe beanshell.

Sorry the OT.

--Tei

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

mrprogguy:
I hate being the prick that corrects the prick that corrects everyone else, but if you go to http://www.gargaro.com/marvinsounds.html and have a listen to the clips you will definitely hear "Q," not "PU." (This, despite the fact that some of the clip files are actually named "pew"-this or that, and transcribed as "pew." Power of suggestion, no doubt.) Crank up the volume a bit, and listen carefully. It's "Q."

You should at least check with M before you blame Q.

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

An accepted method of saving space surely? Otherwise, you'd need a wrapper function . . .

void recurse(void)
{
    _recurse(1);
}

static void _recurse(int I_MUST_BE_NULL)
{
    if (null == I_MUST_BE_NULL)
       return recurse(1);
    else
       return recrse(I_MUST_BE_NULL + 1);
}

He he he :)

Sam

And yes, this post is sarcastic*.

* Apart from that sentence. Or was it?

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

tin:
Edit: I should have quoted the comments about the lucas heights reactor and someone wanting a similar counter... Stupid forum software... Never seems to do what you expect.

Why isn't that button labeled "DO_NOT_PUSH_ME_AT_ALL_EVER" instead of "Quote"? People would use it all the time that way...

(And yes, when I was new to this forum I always hit "Reply" as my first order of business, then searched in vain for a way to quote the post I was referring to...)

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
I am actually kind of surprised that no-one has suggested this usage of the method, since it is something that I see quite often when reviewing code made by less-than-perfect-programmers.

This is clearly an example of a solution to the "overload-dilemma" that occurs when it is discovered that you need an overload to an existing method, that does more or less the same as the primary method, but in a slightly different way. This method will require the same input-parameters as well as return value, so you cannot make a clean overloaded method. Instead a bogus input variable is specified which solves the problem for the programmer ... but not necessarily for the overall application.

You mean like pre-increment and post-increment?

int operator++(int& i);
int operator++(int& i, int DO_NOT_USE_ME_AT_ALL_EVER);

This technique is actually taught in textbooks, at least as applied to C++.

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Yanks eh? They never got the hang of C++.

nsimeonov · 2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Kind of obvious.

This is an entry into a recursive function, and the recursion needs to pass an object when it calls itself.

And the first call must be null to start it all off.

That's nice... but WROOONG! Why not create another function and hide this one and initiate the recursion internally? Or maybe one more will overload the compiler, eh?

DZ-Jay · 2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Maybe whas changed the implementation, but the interface can be altered, and the var name is a suggestion-of-use to avoid attemps to istil using it, that WILL be a error.

Is do what mean you? WTF?

-dZ.

DZ-Jay · 2006-06-19 Reply Admin

isaphrael:
feh.
I just use 'Verboten' in these instances. that way anyone debugging my code has to spend some time learning German before they spend even more time investigating the code.

something about making me look more efficient than other people, i'm not sure...

I don't know german, but I saw Das Boot and Stalag 17, so I understand what that is.

dZ.

DZ-Jay · 2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

Maybe a THIS_PARAMETER_IS_NO_LONGER_USED name would have been a better idea.

That's the reason why there is an [Obsolete] attribute into the .NET Framework.

You mean, the .NET Framework has been flagged obsolete, already?

An we thought it had such promise...

dZ.

2006-06-19 Reply Admin

I know, I know .... there is a buffer overrun somewhere that poisons the stack. The extra parameter is a hack to prevent the overrun from doing anything dangerous, from someone who couldn't figure out what was happening.

OneFactor · 2006-06-19 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Hey, this is the second "Steve" in a row! Was it here at TDWTF that I read about the "steve to girl ratio"?

On the dev team at my workplace, we have two Terry's (both male) and one female.

TechNoFear · 2006-06-19 Reply Admin

and who said three into two doesn't go?

The Forbidden Parameter

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