• (cs)

    Wooh for making the front page.

    I actually did end up taking that project because I didn't have much else going on at the time and was compensated quite well for it relatively to what I normally charge.

    The code was absolutely horrendous though. It was precompiled ASP.Net code, and of course, the source code was unavailable (I finally got it a few weeks after the initial project was completed).

    Fortunately he only needed a few minor changes on the initial site (all of which were modifications to the HTML), so I was able to do that without the source code. He also wanted an advertising system that I created as a separate .Net WebApp, fortunately, I was able to write that independent of the first application and then use an iframe to pull in the ads...It was pretty hokey, but it got the job done.

  • Fonzy (unregistered)

    Hey wait a sec. You guys/ladies are getting carried away with this genius thing.

    The real wtf is that i went to www.*********.com and the server is down.

  • J. Walter Weatherman (unregistered)

    What about my ass hole?

  • Chris Brand (unregistered)

    Surely "genious" must be the opposite of "ingenious"...

  • IGnatius T Foobar (unregistered)

    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

  • Sam (unregistered) in reply to IGnatius T Foobar

    Whats your beef with .NET?

  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to IGnatius T Foobar
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

    While I'm sure this quote will cause a religious language flamewar, I just want to say: having worked with .NET extensively, I agree :)

  • Andrew (unregistered)

    genious == cde written with such splendor that no one can possibly figure out what in the hell the author was thinking

  • Bobble (unregistered) in reply to Fonzy

    The site name must be the same as your Forum password.

    ; )

  • (cs) in reply to IGnatius T Foobar
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.
    ...said the guy with the aspx page in his browser.
  • Dude (unregistered)

    Ok, correct me if i'm wrong, but I know I've already read this one here before!! WTF?!

  • captcha : vulputate (???) (unregistered) in reply to Dude
    Dude:
    Ok, correct me if i'm wrong, but I know I've already read this one here before!! WTF?!

    First line: "Originally posted to the Sidebar by "ServZero""

  • quis (unregistered)

    Did the author of the "genious code" happen to wear a powder blue leisure suit with cowboy boots?

  • (cs) in reply to IGnatius T Foobar
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

    Right. Smart people ignore the platform that runs 90% of non-server systems on the planet, and don't bother working to write applications they can sell to the people who use those systems.

    Moron. Back to the kiddie table with you. Let the grownups talk in peace.

  • (cs)

    Customer education:

    The reason the code is "genius" is that you keep going with the lowest rate.

    When you grow tired of throwing money at hacks without ever getting something reliable, let me know.

  • Project2501a (unregistered) in reply to Jordan

    Are you sure it's not Brillant?

  • Project2501a (unregistered) in reply to Jordan

    Are you sure it's not Brillant?

  • (cs) in reply to Zecc
    These candy bars write cloying, sticky code, but they do work cheap.
  • Milton (unregistered) in reply to Bobble

    The site name is hunter2?

    That shows up as ******* to you, right?

  • frustrati (unregistered) in reply to WC
    WC:
    I think he actually mean ingenious as code isn't sentient
    Mine is.
  • Mark (unregistered)

    I have high standards. I will only work on something if the original code is so genius that I am willing to work on it for free. Otherwise, it's a total waste of my time.

  • Corey (unregistered) in reply to Dan

    If it is not easy to understand, it is probably not genius code.

  • jugis (unregistered) in reply to Milton
    Milton:
    The site name is hunter2?

    That shows up as ******* to you, right?

    -12 for the reference to bash.org

    -3000 to me for knowing this was a reference to bash.org

  • Steve Burnap (unregistered)

    I was once told someone's code was "genius". This was C code that included a header with the following:

    #define BEGIN { #define END }

    etc.

    The genius had written code that worked well, but got real slow with large amounts of data. Seems he was scanning the entire database at start and putting the keys and their index pointers in a list. To store each key on the list, he got the head pointer and then walked the entire list to the end. Then to find anything anything in the database, the code would get the head pointer, and walk the entire list, comparing keys, until it found the right item.

    Yes, that's right...the "genius" had turned the database into a flat file with O(N^2) inserts.

  • (cs) in reply to Milton
    Milton:
    The site name is hunter2?

    That shows up as ******* to you, right?

    applauds the bash.org reference

    http://www.bash.org/?244321

  • (cs) in reply to KenW
    KenW:
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

    Right. Smart people ignore the platform that runs 90% of non-server systems on the planet, and don't bother working to write applications they can sell to the people who use those systems.

    Moron. Back to the kiddie table with you. Let the grownups talk in peace.

    Right, and genius (or "genious"?) people think that all software runs on non-server systems exclusively. Or even assumes that 90% of the non-server systems on the planet are actually made in .NET.

    Remember kiddies! .NET != Windows.

    Big irons use UNIX or MVS variants (OS/390, z/OS) and in areas the Microsoft OSes wouldn't even dream touching. Software devs for these platforms tend to go for Java or older weird C frameworks (or arcane things like COBOL). As a business platform, it's usually J2EE 'coz that one's platform-independent and can make all the components talk to each other. Say: Java client frontend (or web frontend) -> J2EE AppServer -> MQSeries -> CICS, and throw in some DB2's/Oracles/whatever. Hell, you can even open up an LDAP frontend for RACF so that you can have the same mainframe user/pwd for every app! And that's real, standardized LDAP, not that Active Directory look-alike stuff.

    Of course, this is usually happening behind your standard online banking site, but as you don't see it, you might assume all of that is running in some Windoze box, aren't you?

  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to Steve Burnap
    Steve Burnap:
    I was once told someone's code was "genius". This was C code that included a header with the following:

    #define BEGIN { #define END }

    You could have stopped right there. This "genius" = FAIL

  • Cooksey (unregistered)

    I guess the genious that wrote it ran it through an obfuscator to insure payment which was late or incomplete.

    oh well - off it goes to some poor abused coder in Manila for a severly underscale rate...

  • Cep (unregistered)

    Wait a minute isn't this the part where they ask for your bank account details and national insurance number?

  • The Fake WTF (unregistered) in reply to danixdefcon5
    danixdefcon5:
    I much prefer the "brillant" Paula Bean code. 
    public class Genious extends PaulaBean {

    public String getTehCodez() {
        return "Genious!";
    }
}

    Little did you know, the "genious" code was written by Paula! She told him it was genious and brillant, so it has to be!

  • Saemundr (unregistered)

    hey, i am SO there! pick me pick me! Genious code doesnt sound like the work of a mad scientist at all!

  • topeka (unregistered)

    wanna date with hot and wild cowgirls? dude, this is my favorite RiderLove.com where u can always expect more!haha no kidding!!

  • (cs)

    There are two types of genius code. One is terrible because the "genius" who wrote it is a moron, and the other is terrible because only the genius who wrote it can understand how the fuck it works. (Why add a comment to explain this super-optimized bit-shifting-magic trick? Isn't it obvious what it does?)

  • (cs) in reply to ServZero
    ServZero:
    Wooh for making the front page.

    ServZero wins.

  • (cs)

    Paula Bean is pretty genious.

    And then there's Irish Girl.

  • Anphanax (unregistered)

    "Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER."

    Smart people should not make generalizations. Does that mean if you've EVER used a Microsoft product that you're dumb? You better get the word out that everyone that has used Microsoft Office or Microsoft Windows isn't a "smart" person. Does that include you by chance?

  • Kuba (unregistered) in reply to m0ffx
    m0ffx:
    dkf:
    There I was thinking it was more likely to be sedimentary, quietly accreted over the years at the bottom of a swamp^Wapplication, and just pressed enough by real use to be fused to solidity and a need for it to be updated...
    And no doubt it's full of the trace fossils of the work of programmers now long gone. By reading the code they have left, you can find out how they lived.

    Goes on top of my "deep quotes from TDWTF" stack. Hats off to you, sir. I bet in 50-100 years we'll have paleodevelopers working for Smithsonian.

  • AndrewN (unregistered)

    For the privilege of working on such "genious" code you will be required to sign an NDA and a non-compete clause. You will obviously be learning his trade secrets.

  • (cs)
  • (cs) in reply to KenW
    KenW:
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

    Right. Smart people ignore the platform that runs 90% of non-server systems on the planet, and don't bother working to write applications they can sell to the people who use those systems.

    Moron. Back to the kiddie table with you. Let the grownups talk in peace.

    Somebody got told!

  • Russ (unregistered) in reply to danixdefcon5
    danixdefcon5:
    KenW:
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

    Right. Smart people ignore the platform that runs 90% of non-server systems on the planet, and don't bother working to write applications they can sell to the people who use those systems.

    Moron. Back to the kiddie table with you. Let the grownups talk in peace.

    Right, and genius (or "genious"?) people think that all software runs on non-server systems exclusively. Or even assumes that 90% of the non-server systems on the planet are actually made in .NET.

    Remember kiddies! .NET != Windows.

    Big irons use UNIX or MVS variants (OS/390, z/OS) and in areas the Microsoft OSes wouldn't even dream touching. Software devs for these platforms tend to go for Java or older weird C frameworks (or arcane things like COBOL). As a business platform, it's usually J2EE 'coz that one's platform-independent and can make all the components talk to each other. Say: Java client frontend (or web frontend) -> J2EE AppServer -> MQSeries -> CICS, and throw in some DB2's/Oracles/whatever. Hell, you can even open up an LDAP frontend for RACF so that you can have the same mainframe user/pwd for every app! And that's real, standardized LDAP, not that Active Directory look-alike stuff.

    Of course, this is usually happening behind your standard online banking site, but as you don't see it, you might assume all of that is running in some Windoze box, aren't you?

    Oohhhh, somebody got told back.

  • Struct (unregistered)

    I had the priviledge to work on a genius' code for nine months. The code was horrid. Spaghetti, code duplication, no comments whatsoever, SQL statements right smack in the middle of source files that spanned an A4 sheet of paper, JET database connections being opened anywhere in the code (meaning it was a crapload of work to change the database), date and time in the database being formatted as yyMMDD and HH:mm:ss while the app was doing tonnes of date and time subtractions and additions, loads of array index magic, and the list goes on and on. He was a physics phd, running his own company, and writing his own software. And I know he sucked at two of those three things. He claimed it was a priviledge to work for him and at his software. And if the company would grow big (ie: more than a family + one employee business) I could become lead tech...

    Now, I did learn a few things there:

    1. never EVER EVER touch a genius' code if it spans more that a couple of line of code. And even then, rewrite it.
    2. run... run as fast as you can if you have to work on that kind of code and your boss thinks he's a genius.
  • Godot (unregistered) in reply to IGnatius T Foobar
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

    You are a "genious" obviously...

  • (cs) in reply to Struct
    Struct:
    I had the priviledge to work on a genius' code for nine months. The code was horrid. Spaghetti, code duplication, no comments whatsoever, SQL statements right smack in the middle of source files that spanned an A4 sheet of paper, JET database connections being opened anywhere in the code (meaning it was a crapload of work to change the database), date and time in the database being formatted as yyMMDD and HH:mm:ss while the app was doing tonnes of date and time subtractions and additions, loads of array index magic, and the list goes on and on. He was a physics phd, running his own company, and writing his own software. And I know he sucked at two of those three things. He claimed it was a priviledge to work for him and at his software. And if the company would grow big (ie: more than a family + one employee business) I could become lead tech...

    Now, I did learn a few things there:

    1. never EVER EVER touch a genius' code if it spans more that a couple of line of code. And even then, rewrite it.
    2. run... run as fast as you can if you have to work on that kind of code and your boss thinks he's a genius.
    Me: Pass me that cyclotron. How hard can it be? I mean, all you've got to do is to make two elementary particles whizz around in opposite directions until they splat into each other, and then catch the results in a baseball mitt. PhD PHB: What? But you're ignorant, untrained, and frankly dangerous. Why on earth would I do that? Me: I've seen your .NET code. It's exactly the same principle.

    Funny how it only works one way round, isn't it?

  • (cs)

    TRWTF is that we all know what "minor adjustments" means. I also would like to know what he rates once he gets touched by this client.

  • (cs) in reply to J. Walter Weatherman
    J. Walter Weatherman:
    What about my ass hole?

    Will you rate when I touch it?

  • Dave (unregistered) in reply to Anphanax
    Anphanax:
    "Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER."

    Smart people should not make generalizations. Does that mean if you've EVER used a Microsoft product that you're dumb? You better get the word out that everyone that has used Microsoft Office or Microsoft Windows isn't a "smart" person. Does that include you by chance?

    SQL Server is rubbish - we should all use free databases, and if they don't support stuff like triggers and so on just do without them until they turn up.

    DirectX is rubbish. We should just use those crappy OpenGL things which are behind the curve.

    XP is rubbish. Who needs support for practically every camera, printer, scanner, mp3 player out of the box? I want to work for my connectivity, with nerdy command lines, and the tedious download and recompilation of parts of the operating system.

  • (cs) in reply to danixdefcon5
    danixdefcon5:
    KenW:
    IGnatius T Foobar:
    If the original developer were really a genius then .NET would not have been selected as the development platform. Smart people do not use Microsoft products -- EVER.

    Right. Smart people ignore the platform that runs 90% of non-server systems on the planet, and don't bother working to write applications they can sell to the people who use those systems.

    Moron. Back to the kiddie table with you. Let the grownups talk in peace.

    Right, and genius (or "genious"?) people think that all software runs on non-server systems exclusively. Or even assumes that 90% of the non-server systems on the planet are actually made in .NET.

    Remember kiddies! .NET != Windows.

    -- for your reading comprehension. The moron posted that all MS products should be avoided, not just .NET. Learn to read.

    danixdefcon5:
    Big irons use UNIX or MVS variants (OS/390, z/OS) and in areas the Microsoft OSes wouldn't even dream touching.

    Yay. Nobody said otherwise. But if you're trying to make a steady living writing software, you can't ignore the entire Windows platform, especially on the desktop. If you do, you're an idiot.

    danixdefcon5:
    Software devs for these platforms tend to go for Java or older weird C frameworks (or arcane things like COBOL). As a business platform, it's usually J2EE 'coz that one's platform-independent and can make all the components talk to each other.

    So? There's no accounting for some people's poor taste.

    danixdefcon5:
    Of course, this is usually happening behind your standard online banking site, but as you don't see it, you might assume all of that is running in some Windoze box, aren't you?

    I don't assume any such thing. But you just continue talking out of your ass and putting words in my mouth I never said, 'kay? We've already decided you need to work on your reading comprehension skillz.

    If you want to base your entire livelihood on a few "big guns" that run your software, fine. Go for it. I'm sticking with the consumer masses and having thousands of customers instead of a couple. Less chance of ending up on the welfare rolls that way.

    But you please keep posting here. It's always fun when some idiot goes off on a rant about something that was never said or even hinted at by someone else.

  • Thunder (unregistered) in reply to Matt
    Matt:
    Did you mean "privledge"?
    I think /he/ spelled it the exact way he wanted to. I think /you/ meant 'privilege'.
  • PerfectlyNormal (unregistered) in reply to Dave
    Dave:
    SQL Server is rubbish - we should all use free databases, and if they don't support stuff like triggers and so on just do without them until they turn up.
    Haven't tried it, so can't comment. Rumor has it that PostgreSQL is quite powerful, and might suit your needs. And if not, there's always Oracle and the likes. So it's not neccessary to use a free database even if you don't use SQL Server.
    Dave:
    DirectX is rubbish. We should just use those crappy OpenGL things which are behind the curve.
    From Wikipedia: "With the exception of Windows and the Xbox, all operating systems that allow for hardware-accelerated 3D graphics utilize OpenGL as their primary 3D graphics API."

    Meaning that the PS3, where graphics is cited as being one of the best reasons, uses OpenGL. How exactly is this "behind the curve"?

    Dave:
    XP is rubbish. Who needs support for practically every camera, printer, scanner, mp3 player out of the box? I want to work for my connectivity, with nerdy command lines, and the tedious download and recompilation of parts of the operating system.

    Practically every camera, printer, scanner and mp3 player out of the box?

    Don't make me laugh. The cameras and mp3 players that appear as a standard USB drive perhaps. But then again, those would also work perfectly on Linux.

    Almost every single printer and scanner I've encountered requires some sort of driver on Windows, as well as Linux, in order to support more than black text in 2 DPI-mode.

    And "nerdy command lines" isn't exactly required for everyday use if you don't want to. Tried Ubuntu lately? You still need to download updates though, but then again, so does Windows. Unless you run an unpatched version.

    And then there's this wonderful thing called "binary packages", which means that a user compiling things by hand is hardly neccessary as long as it's not an obscure package. And the Debian-repositories (which Ubuntu also use), is filled with very many packages. Most likely, you won't require compiling anything.

    TL;DR: Try getting a clue next time. Linux isn't perfect, but neither is Windows. And making a living writing software is perfectly possible without ever touching a Windows-machine.

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