• (cs) in reply to ceiswyn
    ceiswyn:
    Last time I called up tech support for anything, it was my ISP to tell them there was an outage in my area. It took me fifteen minutes of fiddling with the settings on one of my three computers, all the while staring at the I-am-not-connected-to-the-internet blinkenlight on my router, before the support tech gave up and said someone would call me back. The next day I got a text to say they'd fixed the outage in my area. Who, exactly, profited from that interaction...?

    Yeah. Long ago I spent an hour on the phone with tech support being the non-compliant customer because the idiot tech wanted me to direct-connect an unpatched, no AV XP system to the modem. (Back when that meant a near-instant infection with Blaster.)

    Windows 98 direct connected--nope, not supported. XP, via a router, nope.

    I finally went and got my machine and direct connected it, of course there still was nothing. He then actually began troubleshooting and we got it almost immediately--their installer had goofed a digit in the MAC.

  • (cs) in reply to Mcoder
    Mcoder:
    FrostCat:
    Also, nobody comments on "delete the prefetch folder?" Sounds like voodoo to me, frankly. That must be this year's "you need to reinstall Windows."

    I used to get mad at that kind of voodoo, until it solved a problem I had that I tough it was impossible to solve that way. Computers are complex, caches fail and you can never be sure about what depends on them.

    Yeah, I had a REPEATED run-in with a cache mystery that was never resolved. It was possible for stuff in the temp directory to cause the program to puke on startup, never mind that the closest the program did to reading the temp directory on startup is to create one file or append to it if it existed--a simple seek to the filesize with zero bytes of data transfer.

    It could never be reproduced on anything other than a production machine and it blew things up so badly that no logging was possible. Despite going back and banging my head on it periodically it was never resolved, wipe the temp directory if the program pukes on startup was simply a known troubleshooting step.

  • (cs)

    Is a PVD file something that I'm supposed to know what it is? Otherwise, I'm just gonna assume that the law firm was using VideoNow for whatever reason (the only definition I found that would include audio).

  • PoPSiCLe (unregistered) in reply to Maltz
    Maltz:
    But how vague is that? "It doesn't boot" What does that even mean? No login screen? Hangup while it's booting? Doesn't post? No power at all? And all those assume the user is even using the term correctly, which, let's be honest, is kind of a stretch.

    The guy wasn't particularly rude, but he should have described the problem in greater detail MUCH sooner. He didn't give the support guy anything to go on until he actually described at exactly what point during the boot process the machine hung up.

    No. I agree that users are idiots, but if you at least assume that the person is vaguely knowledgeable about what he's talking about, starting with "do this in Windows" when he's stating "the computer won't boot" is plainly stupid.

    At least start by asking the right questions, for instance "how far into the boot-process do you get before it stops", "can you enter BIOS", if they have hardware-diagnosis available in BIOS, has that been run (if it's accessible) etc.

    There is nothing more frustrating than idiots reading a premade script that isn't even vaguely close to your problem. Been there, done that - I still have to inform my ISP, when I call them, that I used to work for them, and can probably go through the script faster than they can. That usually moves me into tier2, and I can talk to someone who actually knows something.

  • Kef Schecter (unregistered) in reply to Kate
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them.

    Are you kidding me? Anybody with half a brain, flowchart or not, knows "it won't boot" means "no Start button". The tech could at least have said "So there's no Start button?" instead of stupidly pretending that there was any possibility that the instruction "Click the Start button" could be followed. If the tech's higher-ups cannot understand this, they really shouldn't be providing technical support.

  • Harrow (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    ...CAPTCHA: genitus - My wife's maiden name is Genitus Kickeros
    Wow. What is her married name?

    -Harrow.

  • Paul Neumann (unregistered)

    The "Naughty NAS" may be mine...

    When I was doing consulting, the company I worked for allowed clients to purchase their own devices which we were to connect and support. It was quite often that a client would purchase something which did not satisfy any need, but it was cheap. Generally only about 5% of those clients would listen to such recommendations as:

    └ It may be cheaper to buy a new printer rather than find a fuser for a 1980's LaserJet you bought at GoodWill for $15;

    └ No you don't need a Cisco Pix 535 for a 4 person office, a Netgear will provide plenty of bandwidth for sharing your 256kbps DSL connection;

    └ Installing Windows XP on your PII 300Mhz 96MB Ram computer is not "as good as buying a new one.";

    └ Installing a NAS without harddrives won't do anything for you. Yes, hard drives do cost more than the NAS box... You're not willing to spend that much?

    Yeah, good times for all.

  • (cs) in reply to Callin
    Callin:
    There is a rat in my ultrabook!
    That's nothing; I have a rat in my iPod! I can hear it scratching, scratching, driving me crazy!!!
  • Some Jerk (unregistered) in reply to Harrow
    Harrow:
    Some Jerk:
    ...CAPTCHA: genitus - My wife's maiden name is Genitus Kickeros
    Wow. What is her married name?

    -Harrow.

    Sorry... I am having trouble coming up with one. :p ... seems like she still fits that name sometimes.

  • Some Jerk (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    Harrow:
    Some Jerk:
    ...CAPTCHA: genitus - My wife's maiden name is Genitus Kickeros
    Wow. What is her married name?

    -Harrow.

    Sorry... I am having trouble coming up with one. :p ... seems like she still fits that name sometimes.

    I wanna be genitus massivous though... if it weren't such a blatently contradictory idea.

  • Llarry (unregistered)

    Previous place I worked, one of the other guys had had a gig doing hardware support for a PC builder. He told me of getting a call from a customer complaining of a "mouse problem". Mike starts through the usual suspects: plugged in, cursor move, clicking, etc. Guy says, "No, you don't understand, the little bugger crawled into the back of the machine and died." Mike cleared him to just send it back in to be taken care of...

  • Barnaby (unregistered) in reply to Paul Neumann
    Paul Neumann:
    The "Naughty NAS" may be mine...

    When I was doing consulting, the company I worked for allowed clients to purchase their own devices which we were to connect and support.

    Oh. Dear. God.

    └ No you don't need a Cisco Pix 535 for a 4 person office, a Netgear will provide plenty of bandwidth for sharing your 256kbps DSL connection;
    I would only ever recommend a specific model. I love a lot of Netgear stuff, but some models have given me trouble. Of course, they do provide job security...
  • (cs) in reply to PoPSiCLe
    PoPSiCLe:
    Maltz:
    But how vague is that? "It doesn't boot" What does that even mean? No login screen? Hangup while it's booting? Doesn't post? No power at all? And all those assume the user is even using the term correctly, which, let's be honest, is kind of a stretch.

    The guy wasn't particularly rude, but he should have described the problem in greater detail MUCH sooner. He didn't give the support guy anything to go on until he actually described at exactly what point during the boot process the machine hung up.

    No. I agree that users are idiots, but if you at least assume that the person is vaguely knowledgeable about what he's talking about, starting with "do this in Windows" when he's stating "the computer won't boot" is plainly stupid.

    At least start by asking the right questions, for instance "how far into the boot-process do you get before it stops", "can you enter BIOS", if they have hardware-diagnosis available in BIOS, has that been run (if it's accessible) etc.

    There is nothing more frustrating than idiots reading a premade script that isn't even vaguely close to your problem. Been there, done that - I still have to inform my ISP, when I call them, that I used to work for them, and can probably go through the script faster than they can. That usually moves me into tier2, and I can talk to someone who actually knows something.

    This. TRWTF is that the guy didn't know how to ask to be escalated when presented with a mindless support drone. That's basically Tech Support 101.

  • (cs)

    I'm gonna fix that rat, that's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna fix that rat...

  • Some Jerk (unregistered) in reply to Mason Wheeler
    Mason Wheeler:
    PoPSiCLe:
    Maltz:
    But how vague is that? "It doesn't boot" What does that even mean? No login screen? Hangup while it's booting? Doesn't post? No power at all? And all those assume the user is even using the term correctly, which, let's be honest, is kind of a stretch.

    The guy wasn't particularly rude, but he should have described the problem in greater detail MUCH sooner. He didn't give the support guy anything to go on until he actually described at exactly what point during the boot process the machine hung up.

    No. I agree that users are idiots, but if you at least assume that the person is vaguely knowledgeable about what he's talking about, starting with "do this in Windows" when he's stating "the computer won't boot" is plainly stupid.

    At least start by asking the right questions, for instance "how far into the boot-process do you get before it stops", "can you enter BIOS", if they have hardware-diagnosis available in BIOS, has that been run (if it's accessible) etc.

    There is nothing more frustrating than idiots reading a premade script that isn't even vaguely close to your problem. Been there, done that - I still have to inform my ISP, when I call them, that I used to work for them, and can probably go through the script faster than they can. That usually moves me into tier2, and I can talk to someone who actually knows something.

    This. TRWTF is that the guy didn't know how to ask to be escalated when presented with a mindless support drone. That's basically Tech Support 101.

    "Umm... can I please talk to somebody capable of intelligent thought?

  • RFmich (unregistered) in reply to Kate
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    I once tried that. I was at a friend's house. Their brand new Hell computer (you can figure out the real company name if you like) was having an intermittent problem. After a bit of poking around, I discovered that if I wiggled the hard disk power cable I could hear the disk spinup/spindown etc. So flakey connector or flakey cable or flakey disk.

    We call Hell support in on my cell (no landline in that room). The script took about 1.5hours to go through with me punctuating each step faithfully done with 'If I wiggle the power cable on the hard drive I can hear it power up and down maybe there's a problem there.' Finally we got to the point where he said he suspected there was some sort of problem with the hard-drive (that was the first 45min). The next bit was convincing him that:

    • This was a brand new computer.
    • Shipping parts around when there could be more than one cause for this was a non-starter.
    • Please replace the damned computer because it is under the infant mortality period.

    What I did at the end is what I often do when someone's service frustratesmen. The last question on all the script is:

    Support tech: "Is there anything more I can do for you" Me: "Yes I wonder if you could rate your performance on this call?" Support tech: "I'm sorry I don't understand?" Me: "I just ran up a 1.5hour cell phone bill with you not listening to me tell you what the problem was. How do you rate your performance?"

    Key...say this very calmly don't be angry don't be an asshole just ask "How do you rate your performance on this call?"

    Captcha paratus

  • Some Jerk (unregistered) in reply to RFmich
    RFmich:
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    I once tried that. I was at a friend's house. Their brand new Hell computer (you can figure out the real company name if you like) was having an intermittent problem. After a bit of poking around, I discovered that if I wiggled the hard disk power cable I could hear the disk spinup/spindown etc. So flakey connector or flakey cable or flakey disk.

    We call Hell support in on my cell (no landline in that room). The script took about 1.5hours to go through with me punctuating each step faithfully done with 'If I wiggle the power cable on the hard drive I can hear it power up and down maybe there's a problem there.' Finally we got to the point where he said he suspected there was some sort of problem with the hard-drive (that was the first 45min). The next bit was convincing him that:

    • This was a brand new computer.
    • Shipping parts around when there could be more than one cause for this was a non-starter.
    • Please replace the damned computer because it is under the infant mortality period.

    What I did at the end is what I often do when someone's service frustratesmen. The last question on all the script is:

    Support tech: "Is there anything more I can do for you" Me: "Yes I wonder if you could rate your performance on this call?" Support tech: "I'm sorry I don't understand?" Me: "I just ran up a 1.5hour cell phone bill with you not listening to me tell you what the problem was. How do you rate your performance?"

    Key...say this very calmly don't be angry don't be an asshole just ask "How do you rate your performance on this call?"

    Captcha paratus

    Script or no... I don't waste time on fools. When possible, I describe the problem in the most technical way possible and usually get redirected directly to someone who knows their right hand from their left testacle. If I don't, then I never do business with that company again.

  • Obvious Man (unregistered)

    Tech support via "live chat" is always useless. What people fail to recognize is that these people's reading comprehension is much worse than their verbal skills. I wish they would just run Google translate so they could read what I'm writing in their native tongue.

    That's what's so frustrating when there's a simple phrase like "it won't boot" fails to register.

  • wyz (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    Harrow:
    Some Jerk:
    ...CAPTCHA: genitus - My wife's maiden name is Genitus Kickeros
    Wow. What is her married name?

    -Harrow.

    Sorry... I am having trouble coming up with one. :p ... seems like she still fits that name sometimes.

    We aren't. You're Some Jerk, replace Kickeros with Jerk or variants thereof...

    Captcha: saluto - I saluto you and your wife.

  • (cs) in reply to Kate
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.
    I don't think he was being a dick. He was very clear and direct with his answers. The tech support guy is the moron. You would think he could at least switch from the "internet doesnt work" script over to the "it wont boot" script, and start by asking the guy if it is plugged in.
  • (cs) in reply to NextLevel
    NextLevel:
    Really, there are only so many ways to say "no, it doesn't boot."
    True, but if you get the impression the support guy doesn't get it, you could try to say it in a few more words so they understand at what point things go wrong and/or that you know what you're talking about. Of course, this might still not help if they're just following a script and don't have much actual knowledge of the subject themselves.
  • Dann of Thursday (unregistered) in reply to Kate
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    This may blow your mind but it's not actually rude to not coddle incompetency, particularly when your job description consists solely of the two words "fix shit". If you cannot perform your two-word job description correctly, you do not magically get respect just for trying. Craziness, I know.

  • Svensson (unregistered) in reply to Rick
    Rick:
    But suppose "Watermelon Computer Company" gains a reputation for superior support, so much that some people are willing to pay extra for a Watermelon, or maybe even pay a little for support when they need it. As a result, when your 401(k) invests a million in WCC they get a higher return than they would investing in Cheap Ass Suckpport.

    But you don't care about anything but price when you buy "commodity" gear. One hard drive is 79.99 and the other is 79.93 and you go for the cheaper one, every time. So once again, it is still your fault!

    I care about things other than price, so it's not my fault. No company is going to provide the products and service that I want, because they can make more money catering to a million mindless drones. They just won't offer tech support for somebody who understands computers.

    It's kind of like democracy. The "American People" get the government that they deserve -- unfortunately, I get the government that they deserve too.

  • (cs) in reply to Kate
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    Following his flowchart is exactly what you shouldn't do. If they have stupid rules, that's their problem. Of course there's no need to be rude, but if they won't listen or won't budge from a flowchart they're incompetent and you shouldn't waste your time. Seriously, if they have an inch of skill, they'd skip the flowchart when (and if, at all) they understand that the computer won't boot. If they do, but don't have the balls to use common sense, then that's their problem. And not yours!

    Seriously, I just get so pissed when I hear someone saying "well, that's just how it is you know (and I'm too lazy/incompetent/stupid to do anything about it). Listening in the first place significantly lowers the call length (i.e. saves money), makes the customer happy and reduces the need for staffing at the call center.

  • (cs) in reply to Obvious Man
    Obvious Man:
    Tech support via "live chat" is always useless. What people fail to recognize is that these people's reading comprehension is much worse than their verbal skills. I wish they would just run Google translate so they could read what I'm writing in their native tongue.

    That's what's so frustrating when there's a simple phrase like "it won't boot" fails to register.

    They probably think you have a shoe in the computer and can't fit another. So the only logical thing is to go into safe mode and make more space.

  • PG4 (unregistered)

    Not going to give the real company name or product but....

    We had a blade server that suddenly went off line. We could even get to it's little diag processor that remains up as long as the blade is plugged in. We went to the machine room and saw that all the status lights, and even internal ones on the system board you could see through cooling vents were not on. Reseated the blade, even in another slot, and no change.

    Called support, and told them it's dead send the guy out with a new system board. Tech support insisted we get to the daig process and check the logs because it could be something else.

    We kept saying, it has no power, we can't get to diag processor. They kept saying they needed the logs first, and we told them there are no logs to get. This goes on for about 30 minutes. Finally we told them, either send the ticket on to the hardware group or give me your supervisor on the phone, NOW. We have a 4 hour response time contract, we are not going to play 20 questions for ever.

    When the field guy came out with the new system board and replaced it, you could see a crack in the plastic around the power pins on the backplane connector, and the power pins were loose.

  • Brent (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    Brent:
    Some Jerk:
    This comment I don't get. It doesn't take a genious level IT to know that no back button will be available if the computer does not boot.

    The problem is that they get too many calls from people like the "Rat in my computer" guy. People who will say their computer "does not boot" just because their computer isn't working for any reason, because they don't know what "boot" means. The end result is that tech support can't trust anything the user says, and ironically, that's even more true when the user uses terms like "boot" (especially if they keep repeating it... because that's what clueless newbies are doing on the other lines, repeating the one tech word they know).

    That is when a person seeks clarification. The fact that the prepresentative chose not to seek clarification is an indication that said individual was unaware of said distinction... AKA: Not qualified to support computer hardware

    No, it's a sign that the person has realized after hundreds of calls that if you ask "What do you mean it won't boot?", you'll get pretty much the same answer regardless of how clued they are... "I mean it won't boot", typically with a derisive tone, because that the tech representative is an idiot that doesn't know what "boot" means. Ironically again, both the most clueless and the most clueful will be among the most upset and derisive that the agent is asking such a stupid question and doesn't seem to know what "boot" means, which makes them indistinguishable. So they skip such worthless tests and jump to user is clueless and probably thinks "doesn't boot" means that "IE ain't working" and follow the standard script.

  • Spewin Coffee (unregistered)

    "John > There is no chance do do anything. John > it won't boot."

    Ha! You said "doo doo"!

    CAPTCHA: genitus

  • (cs) in reply to Chad Garrett
    Chad Garrett:
    I'm not so sure I understand the WTF on the torch.

    The US public has no familiarity with ANY British/Australian English differences, except for maybe the extra u in words like colour. If you ask someone here what aluminium is, they seriously wouldn't be able to figure it out.

    It's a metal, right? Like platinium and molybdenium.
  • (cs) in reply to ceiswyn
    ceiswyn:
    Last time I called up tech support for anything, it was my ISP to tell them there was an outage in my area. It took me fifteen minutes of fiddling with the settings on one of my three computers, all the while staring at the I-am-not-connected-to-the-internet blinkenlight on my router, before the support tech gave up and said someone would call me back. The next day I got a text to say they'd fixed the outage in my area. Who, exactly, profited from that interaction...?
    The underpants gnomes!

    We finally discovered what phase 2 is!

  • (cs) in reply to PG4
    PG4:
    We kept saying, it has no power, we can't get to diag processor. They kept saying they needed the logs first, and we told them there are no logs to get. This goes on for about 30 minutes. Finally we told them, either send the ticket on to the hardware group or give me your supervisor on the phone, NOW. We have a 4 hour response time contract, we are not going to play 20 questions for ever.
    I'm a little surprised that they played such games with a 4-hour-response contract; at that sort of level, I'd expect them to both expect to be dealing with a competent admin on your end (or a money-wasting fool, but the cash is still good) and to operate on a principle of “ship the replacement part immediately and figure out what's wrong with the old one after getting it back to base”.

    Mind you, the most frustrating problem we ever dealt with was a workstation that liked to fail mysteriously after a part was changed about 10 minutes after the vendor's tech left the building. Eventually was tracked down to some sort of subtle motherboard problem in that particular machine. (Not mentioning the vendor name as the other couple of hundred workstations from the same vendor were perfect. It was just this one system that was downright malicious in the timing of its failures. We renamed the machine “murphy” in the DNS after that.)

  • Paul Neumann (unregistered) in reply to $$ERR:get_name_fail
    "A torch. Oh, wait, no, not a torch -- a fleshlight."

    FTFY. That will leave them guessing!

    captcha: erat -- an alternative [to ehampster] computer power source.

  • (cs) in reply to Kate
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    First of all, nothing in the world could have made this flowchart work if the computer wouldn't boot. As soon as he said "won't boot", the tech should have switched to a "power-on problems" flowchart.

    Second, I am sick and tired of the "they have to go through the script" excuse. If they haven't the clue level needed to go outside the script in obvious cases like this, they shouldn't be working support. If they have, they shouldn't be working first-line any more.

    I had an interaction with Dell on a won't-boot issue with an Optiplex desktop at my last job. The tech immediately recognized my symptoms, assessed my tech level, had me open the case and perform some tests to confirm his diagnosis, and ended up sending me a new part to install myself. He was quite obviously working from a script, but it was a script informed by his own experience and judgment at every point. The whole call was 10 minutes from the time he came on till the time he entered the part dispatch, most of which was me fumbling around underneath my desk, and the result was success in that when the new part arrived, it resolved the issue completely.

  • (cs)

    M. Fragger is the most awesome name EVER!

  • default_ex (unregistered)

    Been through the last story a dozen times with my HP laptop.

    The machine had a faulty BIOS chip from day one. The vendor of the mainboard had a utility just for testing for problems on the mainboard. Download, burn to disc, boot from disc, it did the rest on it's own and displayed a list of test results. I can't remember the exact message but it said something like "BIOS integrity compromised. This is usually a result of a defective BIOS chip". I flashed the BIOS and ran it again, same message, so I knew right away that chip was most likely defective.

    Having not been able to solve the problem on my own, I gave in and phoned HP support to send it in. HP never gave me a reason to doubt them in the past, after all my HP printer I bought in 2000 is still working to this day just like new, as is the camera that came with it.

    Two years after that first call, and at least 30 more calls and RMAs. I was still getting the same damn thing and my warranty period was almost up. Every time I sent it in, they dusted out the keyboard, reinstalled Windows, and sent it back. I even started to put symbols on parts with a market that only appears in UV light to see if they swapped any parts out, no such luck.

    So in the last month of my warranty I was sick of being a polite person, and I stirred up a lot of trouble. So much so that they sent a tech out to my home to verify my story. I ran the guy through the whole processor I used to isolate the problem (which is much more than what I mention here), he hadn't even heard of half the tools I used, which were at the time very popular among reputable computer techs.

    I got a new laptop out of it, but those assholes screwed up the most important part. They asked what feature was most important so that they could find a suitable replacement. I responded a GPU that supports Shader Model 3.0 (I'm a graphics programmer). They assured me that it was a reasonable request and would be given priority over all other factors. They ignored that, sent me one with a slighty faster processor, half the memory, and wireless card which is temperamental at best. Not only that, but the GPU is inferior to the one in the previous laptop, 1/4 the clock rate, 2 vertex units and 2 pixel units (the previous had 8 of each). It's not at all suitable for the kind of work I do, in fact it's just an overpriced note taker and document reader now.

    I wish I was smart enough to ignore their offering and just replace the damn BIOS chip myself. It was surface mounted but I did have access to the equipment I needed to replace it.

  • Konstantin (unregistered) in reply to PG4

    I think I know the company of which you speak, their name is 2 letters...

    Yeah, they are horrible, their enterprise support is on par with Dell's consumer support. I can't believe they consider it enterprise support. The other 2 big enterprise system companies have real enterprise support, where they will go through a quick script to see if you know whats going on and will take your lead most of the time.

    The onsite tech's for the company you speak of are also unhappy with the phone technicians as they have to call them to get case info and status.

    captcha: opto

  • Ken Mitchell (unregistered) in reply to PG4

    It's been my experience that a polite, calm, repetition of "May I speak to your supervisor, please?" is often helpful. It often takes several, sometimes dozens of repetitions. If you get disconnected and have to call back, OPEN with that statement.

  • TDog (unregistered)

    You can all whine and moan until your throats are raw, but the simple truth is that while support stories like the above are certainly frustrating, they are also notoriously embellished and happen because of one fundamental truth:

    99% of support tickets can be solved through a script consisting of things like "Please assure that all your cables are plugged in" and "Have you installed the latest updates", and adding an 'Expert' script doesn't work because there isn't a secretary in the world that isn't convinced that they are a computer expert and not as stupid as all the other people who can't even plug their cables in.

  • Cheong (unregistered) in reply to RFmich
    RFmich:
    ...We call Hell support in on my cell (no landline in that room). The script took about 1.5hours to go through with me punctuating each step faithfully done with 'If I wiggle the power cable on the hard drive I can hear it power up and down maybe there's a problem there.' Finally we got to the point where he said he suspected there was some sort of problem with the hard-drive (that was the first 45min).
    I bought a Hell computer 5 years ago and have a faulty harddisk that won't boot, the call is just about 10 minutes and I thought it's long!

    Maybe some sort of culture difference? (Here is Hong Kong)

  • Mizchief (unregistered) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    Maybe the HDDs that belonged in the NAS were full of porn, and that's why they were removed. Y'know, for... researching how that porn got there. Yeah, that's the ticket. Total violation of our IT standards. Oh, that's a total violation. It'll be a long, hard job figuring out how it got on there.

    Dude, It's insulting to suggest that some twelve o' clock flasher would have a better porn collection than an IT guy. That's why we learned how to use computers in the first place. Free porn!

  • Mizchief (unregistered) in reply to Kate
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    That's bullshit. Why even bother having a human do tech support if your just going to blindly follow a script without even a hit of rational thought. If your asking someone to click on the start menu when you've already been told the damn thing won't boot, there is no reasonable excuse for that level of bureaucratic nonsense.

  • Flinkle (unregistered) in reply to Some Jerk
    Some Jerk:
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    This comment I don't get. It doesn't take a genious level IT to know that no back button will be available if the computer does not boot.

    Truly though, WTF is the deal with all of these CHEAP ASS COMPANIES hiring people with absolutely no technical qualification whatsoever to support their technology to begin with? Yes... they have a script... and I am usually patient enough to pretend I am performing all of the useless steps so they feel like they are doing their jobs... but they need to at least have a fundimental understanding of the distinction between useless and impossible.

    Well, well, well....we seem to have found a fundamental problem in IT. Anyone with even the slightest technical knowledge is over-qualified for the service desk. Even decent companies hire peoople with absolutely no technical qualification - and it's for the simple reason thart they can't find anyone suifficiently qualingfiead who actuly want to do the damns job!

  • eprtuieepa (unregistered) in reply to Chad Garrett
    Chad Garrett:
    Last time I called up tech support for anything, it was my ISP to tell them there was an outage in my area. It took me fifteen minutes of fiddling with the settings on one of my three computers, all the while staring at the I-am-not-connected-to-the-internet blinkenlight on my router, before the support tech gave up and said someone would call me back. The next day I got a text to say they'd fixed the outage in my area. Who, exactly, profited from that interaction...?

    I can go one better. My cable Internet was down last week. They got back to me and confirmed that there was construction in my area and a fiber was cut that day (even though I'd been up and down for over a week while on vacation) Later that day, they closed my ticket when that construction was completed - when my modem was verifiably still offline from their end.

    Must have been a good vacation if you'd been up and down for over a week....

  • Basil (unregistered) in reply to Basil
    Basil:
    Tell him it's just a hamster?
    A Siberian Hamster, perhaps?
  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    I don't see the WTF with Sagar. Since you are chatting with him online, it's not unreasonable for him to assume you are a moron and your computer has, in fact, booted. If it wasn't booting how are you talking to him?

    John should have started by stating that he was talking to him on a different computer!

    I must admit, I expected that to be the cause of the WTF too - the fact that the drone from the service desk couldn't uynderstand how this chap was logged on yet claimed his computer was dead....

  • Biggles (unregistered) in reply to Harrow
    Harrow:
    Some Jerk:
    ...CAPTCHA: genitus - My wife's maiden name is Genitus Kickeros
    Wow. What is her married name?

    -Harrow.

    Same as his....Genitus Jerk....
  • Sheffield Wednesday (unregistered) in reply to Dann of Thursday
    Dann of Thursday:
    Kate:
    The guy in the last story was pretty rude. The support techs have a shitty job and are usually forced to follow a fixed script. They can't skip any part of the flowchart and just refer your issue upwards because they'll get done for it. The kindest, most human and also most efficient way to behave is just to go through the flowchart with them. It won't take too long and it's much less hostile. Then you can get referred on to the next level of support. You might be a genius-level IT professional, but to the support tech, you are Schrödinger's technical support problem. Don't be a dick.

    This may blow your mind but it's not actually rude to not coddle incompetency, particularly when your job description consists solely of the two words "fix shit". If you cannot perform your two-word job description correctly, you do not magically get respect just for trying. Craziness, I know.

    Yes indeedy! All this political correct shit is a crock. If you are a tool and cannot do what you are hired to do, then you have to expect an occasional backlash from people who mistakenly assumed you might actually be capable of doing the job you're paid to do....

  • Jimmy (unregistered) in reply to arh
    arh:
    Obvious Man:
    Tech support via "live chat" is always useless. What people fail to recognize is that these people's reading comprehension is much worse than their verbal skills. I wish they would just run Google translate so they could read what I'm writing in their native tongue.

    That's what's so frustrating when there's a simple phrase like "it won't boot" fails to register.

    They probably think you have a shoe in the computer and can't fit another. So the only logical thing is to go into safe mode and make more space.

    Sounds like there's a mouse in the shoe too....maybe that's why the cat spends so much time on the computer....who knows?

  • Jimmy (unregistered) in reply to da Doctah
    da Doctah:
    Chad Garrett:
    I'm not so sure I understand the WTF on the torch.

    The US public has no familiarity with ANY British/Australian English differences, except for maybe the extra u in words like colour. If you ask someone here what aluminium is, they seriously wouldn't be able to figure it out.

    It's a metal, right? Like platinium and molybdenium.
    More like tin, I think.
  • Dirk (unregistered)

    M. Fragger? That wouldn't be D's brother, would it?

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