• first (unregistered)

    im fist

  • getofmylawn (unregistered)
    1. Perform all of the necessary pre-initialization steps as described by script 118T-B.
    2. Open Microsoft Excel as prescribed in script 0G17.
    3. After clicking on "Add comment", take a screen capture (see script 0G22).
    4. From the printout, enter each item into Microsoft Excel. ...
    5. After clicking on "1 Comments", click on "Print".
    6. From the printout, enter each "Comment" item into Microsoft Excel.
    7. If the Excel spreadsheets does contain "im first", the test has failed.
  • Wall! (unregistered) in reply to first
    first :
    im fist

    im wall! Hit me, it will hurt! :D

  • (cs)

    Yeah, but look at all the developer arguments about spaces versus tabs, white space, etc. he avoided by working on WTFSL.

  • dta (unregistered)

    ur dum

    I really hope I'm not relying on any of this unnamed 'security' company's garbage

  • Fast Eddie (unregistered)

    I really like SNOBOL but one so seldom gets to use it in a sentence.

  • CrazyBomber (unregistered) in reply to getofmylawn
    1. Otherwise, print the excel sheet and place it on the wooden table next to your desk...
  • El Pennero Grande (unregistered)

    Symantec? Oh please oh please oh please.

  • (cs)

    This practice of forcing developers to do test/QA work always leads to WTFs. Writing automated test scripts isn't so bad, but it's not something you turn the Best Developers loose on.

    This kind of reminds me of a previous job, which ostensibly was going to lead to embedded systems programming and other cool things. I ended up writing test code in C++ (and later filling out test docs, i.e. "these are what the results should be").

    When I got laid off, it took all of my restraint to not shout "Hallelujah!"

  • anon (unregistered)

    Ads like the one in the picture make me wince. Seriously, who wants to hire someone who writes like that??

  • Foo (unregistered)

    That reminds me so much of a few previous jobs I've had... you're spying on me, right?

  • anon (unregistered)

    NITPICK: Lua is the Portuguese word for moon, not an acronym. Ergo Lua, not LUA.

  • Joe (unregistered) in reply to anon

    Shouldn't it be Nitpick then?

  • Neil (unregistered)
  • (cs) in reply to anon
    anon:
    NITPICK: Lua is the Portuguese word for moon, not an acronym. Ergo Lua, not LUA.
    Don't be ridiculous! It's LUA, just like it's ADA, PASCAL or Cobol.
  • (cs) in reply to Fast Eddie
    Fast Eddie:
    I really like SNOBOL but one so seldom gets to use it in a sentence.
    Even less so in an actual professional programming environment. Definitely one of my favorite language names.

    The main language I program in sounds like a fart when you pronounce it.

  • (cs) in reply to Joe
    Joe:
    Shouldn't it be Nitpick then?

    That's fuckin awesome...

  • DMala (unregistered) in reply to Lars Vargas
    Lars Vargas:
    The main language I program in sounds like a fart when you pronounce it.

    Oh no, another poor soul developing in Pbpbpbpbttt.

  • Picker of Nits (unregistered) in reply to dkf
    dkf:
    anon:
    NITPICK: Lua is the Portuguese word for moon, not an acronym. Ergo Lua, not LUA.
    Don't be ridiculous! It's LUA, just like it's ADA, PASCAL or Cobol.

    That's not what it says at http://www.lua.org/

  • Picker of Nits (unregistered) in reply to dkf
    dkf:
    anon:
    NITPICK: Lua is the Portuguese word for moon, not an acronym. Ergo Lua, not LUA.
    Don't be ridiculous! It's LUA, just like it's ADA, PASCAL or Cobol.

    That's not what it says at http://www.lua.org/

  • Gnubeutel (unregistered) in reply to dkf
    dkf:
    anon:
    NITPICK: Lua is the Portuguese word for moon, not an acronym. Ergo Lua, not LUA.
    Don't be ridiculous! It's LUA, just like it's ADA, PASCAL or Cobol.

    Blaise PASCAL is my hero!

  • Yup (unregistered) in reply to anon
    anon:
    Ads like the one in the picture make me wince. Seriously, who wants to hire someone who writes like that??

    I was actually thinking who wants to be hired to maintain that?

  • SomeDude (unregistered) in reply to Gnubeutel

    So was ADA Lovelace!

  • (cs) in reply to El Pennero Grande
    El Pennero Grande:
    Symantec? Oh please oh please oh please.
    Neil:

    ... I can't decide which of you I agree with more

  • (cs)

    "deallocate local variables"

    Wow, kinda makes me shiver.

  • (cs)

    The coolest thing of this type that I have ever seen was the Google billboard in the SF Bay Area from 2004. It asked for the solution to a very simple-to-explain problem:

    {first 10-digit prime found in consecutive digits of e}.com

    If you could figure out the answer, you could go to the Web site, answer a harder problem, and then get fast-tracked for an interview.

    There was one way to find the answer that could be easily coded in Mathematica.

    Fascinating question, though. I was impressed by the cleverness of it. (The answer, which is all over the Web nowadays, is 7427466391.)

  • Q (unregistered)

    oh i remember these!

    1. Read the following instructions carefully. ...
    2. Perform all of the necessary pre-initialization steps as described by script 118T-B.
    3. Open Microsoft Excel as prescribed in script 0G17.
    4. After clicking on "Virus", take a screen capture (see script 0G22).
    5. From the printout, enter each item into Microsoft Excel. ...
    6. After clicking on "View Report", click on "Print Report".
    7. From the printout, enter each "Virus" item into Microsoft Excel.
    8. If the Excel spreadsheets do not contain identical data, the test has failed. ...
    9. Write 1o1 on all your printouts with a red pen.
    10. Ignore all previous steps.
    11. Verify that items which appear after you click on 'Virus' will be listed on the 'errors report'.
  • 100% Opacity (unregistered) in reply to Voodoo Coder

    He's yelling NITPICK. Wow, people here are dumb.

  • (cs) in reply to Picker of Nits
    Picker of Nits:
    dkf:
    anon:
    NITPICK: Lua is the Portuguese word for moon, not an acronym. Ergo Lua, not LUA.
    Don't be ridiculous! It's LUA, just like it's ADA, PASCAL or Cobol.

    That's not what it says at http://www.lua.org/

    You fail sarcasm.

  • Some Wonk (unregistered)
    "Some day," his coworker added, "you'll work on the language core. But you gotta give it some time. I should be starting on that team next month!"

    "I used to mop floors, too. But now, I'm washing lettuce. In a year, I'll be on the fryer."

  • Artie (unregistered)

    I am Artie! The best C/C++ developer... in the world!

  • SecuriTekDevBot (unregistered) in reply to Picker of Nits
    Picker of Nits:
    dkf:
    anon:
    NITPICK: Lua is the Portuguese word for moon, not an acronym. Ergo Lua, not LUA.
    Don't be ridiculous! It's LUA, just like it's ADA, PASCAL or Cobol.
    That's not what it says at http://www.lua.org/
    Dear Picker of Nits:

    It has come to our attention that your sarcasm detector may be out of calibration. Please consult script L4C3R for a potential remedy to this issue. Further calibration tests can be found elsewhere on this site, per script 3F22Q.

    Detected by check #<uninitialized local>. -SecuriTekDevBot

  • Shinobu (unregistered)

    According to my Dutch styleguide "abbreviated names commonly pronounced as words get only one capital", lists Hema and Avro as examples. Works for me.

  • Zach (unregistered) in reply to Artie

    Pete, my boy!

    CAPTCHA: populus...for the rest of us

  • Tim F (unregistered) in reply to Some Wonk

    "Ding frys are done... Ding frys are done... would you like some frys with dat??"

  • Barnyard (unregistered) in reply to Shinobu
    Shinobu:
    According to my Dutch styleguide "abbreviated names commonly pronounced as words get only one capital", lists Hema and Avro as examples. Works for me.
    [Insert joke about Dutch frugality - something about just wanting to save the ink on the extra capital letters - here.]
  • my name is missing (unregistered)

    Seriously one should always talk with a peer developer before taking any job, lest you find out it will soon be on thedailywtf.com.

  • (cs)

    Had a similar experience to this at my previous job. I was hired as a Java and C++ coder, having passed a series of tests and interviews where all the right questions seemed to be asked. I had high hopes I'd be working on a well written system (C++ backend and Java clients). There had been a brief mention in the interview process of an "in house scripting language", which I had been told the customers could use to do minor customisations.

    However, it turned out that this scripting language accounted for well over two thirds of the codebase. It had been invented by one of the company founders who was now a director, and was heavily influenced by PostScript. It was stack based, weakly typed and while an interpreter for it could be written in a couple hundred lines of C, actually coding in it was a nightmare. Roughly 80% of the code was just manipulating the stack!

    Since I quit I hear the new owners have scrapped the whole thing and are doing a rewrite without the scripting language.

  • (cs) in reply to Neil
    Neil:
    Let me guess... McAffe?
    I had to laugh at your (no doubt unintentional) misspelling. Just add a G and it becomes McGaffe.
  • (cs) in reply to Some Wonk
    Some Wonk:
    "Some day," his coworker added, "you'll work on the language core. But you gotta give it some time. I should be starting on that team next month!"

    "I used to mop floors, too. But now, I'm washing lettuce. In a year, I'll be on the fryer."

    Hey, "Per aspera, ad astra", "Rome wasn't built in one day" etc. etc.

  • (cs) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Neil:
    Let me guess... McAffe?
    I had to laugh at your (no doubt unintentional) misspelling. Just add a G and it becomes McGaffe.

    I was actually thinking McMonkey (Affe = Monkey in German) and seeing how the place must be run by a bunch of monkeys...I think it's fitting.

  • James (unregistered) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    Had a similar experience to this at my previous job. I was hired as a Java and C++ coder, having passed a series of tests and interviews where all the right questions seemed to be asked. I had high hopes I'd be working on a well written system (C++ backend and Java clients). There had been a brief mention in the interview process of an "in house scripting language", which I had been told the customers could use to do minor customisations.

    However, it turned out that this scripting language accounted for well over two thirds of the codebase. It had been invented by one of the company founders who was now a director, and was heavily influenced by PostScript. It was stack based, weakly typed and while an interpreter for it could be written in a couple hundred lines of C, actually coding in it was a nightmare. Roughly 80% of the code was just manipulating the stack!

    Since I quit I hear the new owners have scrapped the whole thing and are doing a rewrite without the scripting language.

    My God Man!!! Perhaps we all work in the same institution...

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Zach
    Zach:
    CAPTCHA: populus...for the rest of us

    Dude, it's "Captcha".

  • (cs) in reply to James
    James:
    java.lang.Chris;:
    Had a similar experience to this at my previous job. I was hired as a Java and C++ coder, having passed a series of tests and interviews where all the right questions seemed to be asked. I had high hopes I'd be working on a well written system (C++ backend and Java clients). There had been a brief mention in the interview process of an "in house scripting language", which I had been told the customers could use to do minor customisations.

    However, it turned out that this scripting language accounted for well over two thirds of the codebase. It had been invented by one of the company founders who was now a director, and was heavily influenced by PostScript. It was stack based, weakly typed and while an interpreter for it could be written in a couple hundred lines of C, actually coding in it was a nightmare. Roughly 80% of the code was just manipulating the stack!

    Since I quit I hear the new owners have scrapped the whole thing and are doing a rewrite without the scripting language.

    My God Man!!! Perhaps we all work in the same institution...

    It was the first time I'd come across an in house scripting language, and I assumed it predated the ready availability of things like Perl or Tcl. But no, it dated from the mid 1990s. It was called "Actions", and formed part of a repo trading platform used by a large number of big investment banks.

  • SomeCoder (unregistered)

    Kinda reminds me of Joel Spolsky's "Wasabi"

    When in doubt, write your own language? :)

  • iToad (unregistered)

    Phrases that you don't want to hear when applying for a job:

    • We'll pay you in stock options.
    • You'll love working with our guru developer.
    • You will be replacing our guru developer.
    • In-house scripting language.
  • (cs)

    I'll tell you what that code does. It gets replaced, and it gets its developer fired.

  • Duke of New York (unregistered)

    I suppose it could be worse. WTFSL could be self-hosting.

  • censored (unregistered)

    Another Trwtf is that the company wants to hire programmers who still program in pre-ANSI C. What does that code do if fed into a compiler newer than 20 years ago? Gets syntax errors, of course.

  • Lumberjack (unregistered) in reply to my name is missing
    my name is missing:
    Seriously one should always talk with a peer developer before taking any job

    Like: "Does working here suck?"?

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