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Admin
this is why we don't let beancounters touch SSRS.
Admin
Really?
Here's some pseudo-code to help you resolve this problem:
I swear, the more of other people's software I see, the better I feel about my own skills and attention to detail.
Admin
NO REPRO [image]
Admin
Say whaaat?
I take it this image loads for you then?
https://thedailywtf.com/images/jane-bailey.jpg
Edit: Perhaps it's a DNS propagation issue, here's the error from attempting to load that image:
The server at img.thedailywtf.com can't be found because the DNS look-up failed. DNS is the network service that translates a website's name to its Internet address. This error is most often caused by having no connection to the Internet or a misconfigured network. It can also be caused by an unresponsive DNS server or a firewall preventing Google Chrome from accessing the network.
Admin
yep!
[image]Admin
I'll let them off this time then >_>
Admin
This story doesn't make an ounce of sense.
Admin
For any one wondering what SSRS is. See people how wonderful hyperlinks are? You can link to pages to give more information about what they're reading so they don't have to fucking google it
About the WTF, I don't get it. Was Cindy playing around with VB or something like that?
Admin
There seem to be some issues with DNS propagation regarding img.thedailywtf.com... TDWTF’s name servers do not really seem to know whether the domain exists or not:
Admin
It's schroedinger's image, but I think I've worked out how to open the box so that the image doesn't jump out and claw open my neck veins:
[image]On the left we have the main site and on the right we have the forum.
Thus solving the problem once and for all.
I SAID ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Admin
Ok, I byte (sic) it ... why not For i = 0 To 5!?
Admin
I don't think the OP could understand what they were looking at either.
Some things man is better off not knowing.
Admin
grats on the writer gig @Yamikuronue
Admin
I had the same problem with the story. Wasn't Cindy the one complaining about the speed? Did she want to change the code? Why was this function even problematic. I mean, yeah, I guess there is a very minor overhead with a function that isn't even called... but then again no human would ever notice that delay. Is it that the function - that never gets called - has a wrong name? Should it be called generateCindysPhoneNumberAsBinary() ?
I mean... seems like the padding in this story is easy to find. So thats a plus :smiley:
Filed Under: How would Hanzo have handled this problem? @algorythmics
Admin
Obviously, Cindy was flirting with Rich by providing him with subtle hints to call her..Unfortunately, Rich took too long to figure it out, and Cindy had already been snatched up by Hanzo.
Admin
Yup, congratulations.
Admin
Good question. To get to
8569200, you not only need to generate the binary number, you also need to remove the zeroes until you arrive at the first 7-digit number.So, TRWTF is that Cindy had a nice binary representation of her phone number?
Admin
One of the first GIS results is [image] Strangely appropriate for @Yamikuronue
Admin
oh hey, i thought i recognized that photo....
congratulations @Yamikuronue on your first front page!
Admin
Thanks guys :)
Admin
you cannot remove zeros to get 8569200, only 8659200.
Admin
trwtf is that the binary calculations are wrong. 8569200 is 0b100000101100000101110000.
Admin
The function doesn't get called at all but somehow slows down the reports? Did removing it help? And if so - how?
Finally, I thoroughly disagree with Rich's approach. He should have surely travelled around Spain, asking anybody who ever touched the codebase whether the function that isn't used can be removed or not. That's what real developers do, right?
Admin
Ah - this is clearly a clever attempt to keep Cindy's phone from now ringing off the hook. See, the '56' switch is a transposition cypher. The extra zeroes? That's an extension cypher.
Admin
it doesn't say this caused the slow down. this was only the reason he looked at the code.
Admin
or it was a not so clever attempt by jane to anonymize the story.
Admin
Erm, yes it does.
Unless I'm reading that wrong, Rich found this to be the speed issue. It doesn't say "How bad could the code be?" or "Maybe he could have a look at the codebase". It says, he looked into the speed issue, and what was it? It was that code. That's the only way I read this, not that he didn't find a speed issue just some weird code.
Admin
"author of urban fantasy novels" This is just one of those. Rich is the WTF, he saw this code and it has driven him away from the speed problem completely.
Admin
The poor one who has this number. He won't be able to sleep anymore.
Admin
Just like Jenny (8675309) and Rosi (080/32168)?
Admin
Yes, you are right, I didn't read it carefully enough. My guess is that Jane was writing it wrong. The binary calculation is wrong too, it's prob just a sloppy article.
Admin
In 2010, a crack development team was formed inside of a Fortune 500 company. These developers promptly escaped the maximum security Project Management Office and instituted an Agile Scrum. Today, they survive as green-field developers. If you have a problem, if traditional corporate IT can’t help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… Alpha Team.
Rich was stumped. he had found a method printing a binary string to console, and he couldn't figure out what it was for. It didn't seem to actually be for anything. There was no way he could see it was being used. It was just printed out to console. Not wanting to leave it at that, he decided he needed to dig a little deeper. He fired up Oracle EDC to see if he could discern any additional information, but before it had even loaded he felt a sharp blow to the back of his head, and everything faded to black.
When he regained conciousness, he found he was tied to a chair, and an imposing figure with what appeared to be 8 pounds of gold chains around his neck, staring down at him. On closer inspection, once his eyes would focus properly, each of the gold chains had a Microsoft trademark emblazoned on it. Everything from Windows, to WCF, SQLServer, Visual Studio, the works. It was then he realized the man standing over him was none other than DBA Baracus. A member of the Alpha team.
"I pity the fool, who use an oracle tool" were the first and only words the living legend uttered, before stalking to the corner of the room to look imposing from a distance. That was when Rich noticed that Howling Mad Murdock was typing away at his machine. Every so often he would turn to an empty space and explain something he was doing "just changing the output to a socket stream Mr. Bigglestraut!" was one that caught his attention, were they altering the function he had found? but why?
Rich was still groggy, when he opened his mouth to ask "eye ooh doon at?" was all he could manage to make his mouth say. It seemed pretty clear that no one was going to answer his question even if they did understand it. The whole gang of the Alpha team was here, and he was just a helpless bystander at this point.
Hannibal, dressed incredibly cunningly as an Oracle Developer - it was uncanny, there was no way anyone could have confused him for anything except an Oracle Developer - oversaw Murdock's progress. Finally when Murdock turned to empty space and said "All finished Mr Bigglestraut!" Hannibal stepped in and ran the tool. As he watched the tool run, he grew increasingly angry. He turned to Murdock his face full of rage "Why did you send it unencrypted? Anyone could read it!". DBA Baracus opined from his corner "Why in the name of mah chains did we let Murdock write the code anyway fool?", at this Hannibal turned all his anger on the big man in the corner "Because he is the only one qualified, by reason of insanity, to work with this hair brained oracle/java set-up!". Turning back to the now quietly gibbering figure at Rich's machine, Hannibal continued "Damnit Murdock! anyone could have read that message now! We had just better hope they didn't".
A wild M. Night Shyamalan Plot Twist appears
At that moment, they were instantaneously incinerated by a Thermonuclear explosion. See, what none of them knew was that the Binary they had just transmitted in plain text across the internet, had actually been the detonation code for a series of devices planted underneath American soil in strategic locations during the cold war ALL ALONG. The Russians knew the only way to incinerate the capitalists before they themselves were incinerated in a nuclear fire-storm, was to deliver their payloads in advance, and hide them until the moment came. That moment never did, but the devices remained.
Hanzo stood from the aging beige terminal into which he had just typed the detonation code. The shadowy cabal that REALLY runs Hesse University had succeeded in it's long and carefully planned goal of eliminating every Ivy League university in america, greatly improving their position on the worldwide university rankings.
Hanzo cared little for any of the Cabal's motives or plans, all he cared about was that he had successfully eliminated the President's daughter. That thorn in his side would exist no more. He alone stood at the pinnacle of IT related super-powerdom. He threw a blunt boomerang kunai at the light switch and by the time the camera panned back to where he had been, he was gone.
What? This plot doesn't make sense? Of course it makes sense! I'm M. Night Shyamalan! Master of the plot twist! EVERYTHING I DO MAKES SENSE!
@mark_bowytz just because
Admin
I don't understand. What binary string was being printed to the console?
Admin
Slap a "The call is coming from inside the code!" and this could have been a great Halloween entry.
Admin
True, it didn't say "How bad could the code be". But it also didn't say "How bad could the speed issue be". The "it" is referring to the reports, which could involve either one of those things, or something else.
According to the rest of that paragraph, the speed issue was never expected to be a real issue in the first place. He only decided to respond to her and look at the code because she was pretty.
Admin
TRWTF: should have been the Faceman, of course.
Admin
I read it as just something he found while looking in the vicinity of the suspected bad code. Like a car crash on the side of the road that you can't help but look at along the side of the road when you're late for work.
Admin
So the wrtier swapped a charatcer by mistake?
Admin
This story is of course bogus. The code is slow because the pretty girl in accounting is incessantly complaining to get the boy she likes to swing by. Maybe he should bring a coffee and ask her if to dinner. Ya'll are a bunch of noids.
Admin
at the time that song was recorded that number was handed out by phone companies and several people got a lot of calls for Jenny.
i think there were some lawsuits about that actually. i think that number is now routinely left unconnected because of that song.
should look up the sources on that but i cant be arsed to.
Filed under: Sources: Where the sun doesn't shine
Admin
http://gfycat.com/ImmediateReflectingHorseshoecrab
Admin
Jane has dyscalculia and may have transposed digits. Jane fully accepts responsibility for being TRWTF :(
Admin
I wouldn't have noticed the difference myself. Still unsolved is the question as to why the binary number is wrong (too many 0).
Admin
I'm guessing the origin of this is that a predecessor really didn't like Cindy and therefore intentionally slowed down her reports with that thing.
Admin
Coincidentally, this seems to output the HTML Entity for "double low-9 quotation mark", „! according to http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp & #8222;! = 1000010000100001000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
I have no idea why this tool gets that from a bunch of zeros, but then that might be another WTF for another day... :dango:
Admin
I pasted the output from running the code in dotnetfiddle into an online calculator; I can't recall which one, but it must have had a length limit and truncated before converting to decimal.
Admin
I don't know, how would you swap that by mistake, you just copy and paste it?
Admin
867 is one of the local exchanges in State College, PA. Someone on Reddit said they tried it at one point and there was a fax machine attached.
Admin
prob this one: http://acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny.edu/~gurwitz/core5/nav2tool.html
Admin
That actually looks familiar.