• bvs23bkv33 (unregistered)

    i'll take that final scheme, it's much easier than ours

  • Dlareg (unregistered)

    Better than one of my previous jobs. T: "You did not follow procedure!" I: "Sorry, could you please tell me the correct procedure?" T: "No, It is classified" I: "Errr, you want me to follow a procedure and cannot tell me what the procedure is? T: "Yes, exactly!" I...... found an other job.

  • (nodebb)

    Based on my understanding of the Process, I can mark the Ticket Lifecycle Document Read.

  • Conradus (unregistered) in reply to Dlareg

    Well, that's what you get for taking a job at Alpha Complex. The Computer is your friend!

  • Brian (unregistered)

    Sounds pretty normal for a government-contractor shop. I once worked in military avionics - hoo boy, was that "fun." The systems engineers, PMs, and QA would spend literally years debating over the finer points of the high-level requirements. Then came the low-level requirements, which translated into a high-level design doc, when then became a low-level design doc (which was basically the entirety of the program written in formalized English), all of which had to be validated by the QA folks before moving on to the coding phase. And at that point, the software was so thoroughly specified that any monkey with a keyboard could put it in code, right? And Lord help you if the realities of software development meant that you had to request a change to the requirements...

    And people wonder why the DoD budget is so overblown.

  • Angela Anuszewski (google)

    And that's why I laugh whenever I see a story that a DoD job is using Agile. I love the "Agile BS" picture on this page: https://www.fedscoop.com/defense-innovation-board-wants-help-military-recognize-agile-bs/

  • MarkV (unregistered)

    I worked at a place once that spent like a year coming up with the ultimate development workflow, which covered all possibilities. The process had more steps than the company had employees!

    Never once was it actually used - EVERY SINGLE THING WE DID was either "too small to be worth all the overhead" or "too big to be force-fit into a generic workflow"

    But we had a process!

  • Paul (unregistered)

    The really surprising thing for me from my time at a defense contractor... We had similar processes that seemed designed specifically to NOT release anything, ever. However, when I was working a project for the NSA, it turned out that the NSA was actually pushing for more actual agile processes, and it was OUR company that was pushing back with more bureaucracy. The government is trying to change, even while the industry that serves it still uses the excuse that "the government makes us do it this way" to do things in the worst way possible (and bill for cost + profit)

  • Argle (unregistered)

    One programmer in our ranks at one company was promoted to department head after the latter was moved up to a VP position. There was no WTF in this. Both were competent people. The programmer in question was actually a road manager for a band at Woodstock. But in his first frustrating days as manager of our department he announced "I managed roadies. I can manage programmers!" Fortunately for all of us, he learned that you can't manage them the same way. Millie might have learned a thing or two from him. As for me, I still chuckle over his statement.

  • Argle (unregistered) in reply to Brian

    I got started in exactly that world at just 17. (Nobody can do that now, but this was 1978.) For just a couple days I was pulled off a civilian project to write something for the military. I wrote my little ForTran subroutine and got back to my regular work. I about wet myself when I found my cube invaded by people in uniform and important looking people in suits. There was barely enough room for me at my desk and no real room for 2 people to pass in the aisle, but the traffic jam of angry people as almost too much for very young me. I pulled out the project paperwork I had. There was a lot of huddling and murmuring and they gave me back my folder and wandered off to find someone else to lynch. Yah. No more of that for me, thanks.

  • Yu (unregistered)

    From a job interview: It is probably not a good sign, when the board with the sprint goals includes „introduce agile“.

  • (nodebb)

    These charts are wonderful. Here's the mother of them all. https://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/27/world/27powerpoint.html

  • Jim (unregistered)

    a elephant is a mouse built to MILSPEC, also known as Mammal, gray, 4 legs, tail.

  • sizer99 (google)

    | Millie had done a stint in the Air Force and then went back to school for her MBA.

    I guarantee the 'in the Air Force' bit is just as damaging to sanity and efficiency as the 'MBA' bit. Together... wow, they don't add, it's a multiplier if not exponential.

  • Anonmouse (unregistered)

    Here is the best process of all companies ever!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4

  • kb (unregistered) in reply to Dlareg

    did you at least tell T that by telling you you're not following procedure he's basically disclosing classified information?

  • (nodebb)

    "Unfortunately, Alice hasn't seen any openings for a PM, so Millie is probably still there."

    Well of course she is. Nobody ever asks why these fools show up and suddenly the department is a revolving door, constantly on fire, or both. Just keep blaming "the help."

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