Today's anonymous submitter has spent a long time toiling through many, many tickets. Their effort has been an attempt to "save" their employer from the disaster left behind by by a highly-paid consultant. As one does, our submitter started with the highest priority tickets with the highest severity. Eventually, they whittled down that list, and had some bandwidth to start looking at the pieces of the code which clearly weren't exploding right now (because there were no tickets), but were likely to explode at some point in the future (creating a storm of tickets).

Scanning through the JavaScript, our submitter found a sort function. That was automatically concerning- why was that particular wheel being reinvented?

The first line of the sort function was this:

obj[x._id.account_id] = x.count_total

In this case, x._id is meant to be the unique identifier from their Mongo DB. That, uh, should be not precisely a UUID (Mongo does its own weird version), but it definitely shouldn't have an account_id field on it. They are storing an arbitrary object as their unique identifier in the database. Which, I'm no Mongo expert, but I don't need to be Flash Gordon to know that's a bad idea.

But setting aside the choice of using random objects as unique identifiers, there's also the other question: how is this furthering the goal of sorting? Why on Earth am I building an object in the form: {"id0": 5, "id1": 7, "id2": 11}? Or am I even doing that? This is the first line of the function, so we're not even doing a loop, it's just {"id0": 5}.

This isn't just an unexploded bomb, it's a mystery: the primary mystery being why hasn't this exploded already? The second mystery is: what's going to happen when your luck runs out?

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