The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Three years in that kind of place?

Nagesh · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
Dathan:
This one hits depressingly close to home. My first task at my first position after grad school was to re-implement a monolithic Access DB as a .Net Winforms app. This thing was ridiculous - well over 1GB, linked to a SQL Server instance that contained 400+ tables. The worst part was that it only started dying (you know - worse than Access normally does) because the "developers" who'd been working on it for the last four years hadn't ever deleted a single object they created. Old linked tables? Still there. Old forms? Still there. Old Macros? Queries? Reports? Still there. We had literally ten unused objects to every one in use. Switching forms took about thirty seconds - so did switching from design mode to regular view. I started doing twenty pushups every time I switched contexts between forms, and got in great shape by the time that project was over.

I hope you quit the job. :) Smart person always know when to quit.

Even if they're CMM 5 complaint?

Making little fun of CMM and ISO is ok, but not too much. After all these certifications create employment world-wide. A lot Europe people would be selling vegetables and fish if it were not for invention of ISO and CMM.

Please give respect where it is due.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
Dathan:
This one hits depressingly close to home. My first task at my first position after grad school was to re-implement a monolithic Access DB as a .Net Winforms app. This thing was ridiculous - well over 1GB, linked to a SQL Server instance that contained 400+ tables. The worst part was that it only started dying (you know - worse than Access normally does) because the "developers" who'd been working on it for the last four years hadn't ever deleted a single object they created. Old linked tables? Still there. Old forms? Still there. Old Macros? Queries? Reports? Still there. We had literally ten unused objects to every one in use. Switching forms took about thirty seconds - so did switching from design mode to regular view. I started doing twenty pushups every time I switched contexts between forms, and got in great shape by the time that project was over.

I hope you quit the job. :) Smart person always know when to quit.

Even if they're CMM 5 complaint?

Making little fun of CMM and ISO is ok, but not too much. After all these certifications create employment world-wide. A lot Europe people would be selling vegetables and fish if it were not for invention of ISO and CMM.

Please give respect where it is due.

A lot of people would be selling vegetables and fish if it were not for the invention of heroin but that doesn't mean it's a good thing.

frits · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Making little fun of CMM and ISO is ok, but not too much. After all these certifications create employment world-wide. A lot Europe people would be selling vegetables and fish if it were not for invention of ISO and CMM.
Please give respect where it is due.

QFT

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Jerry:
Ernold:
Jerry:
Ernold:
Anonymous:
Abso:
Anonymous:
Lone Marauder:
Anonymous:
Having a pretty poster on your wall does not make you CMMI compliant. You do realise that CMM and CMMI are separate models that require separate appraisals, don't you? Compliance with CMM does not automatically make you compliant with CMMI. You need to go through the whole appraisal process again and the process areas have been considerably expanded so it's far harder than gaining CMM compliance. It sounds like your company are working to a completely obsolete standard.

YHBT. YHL. HAND.
WTF?

Please, allow me to translate: "Nagesh's post was not an accurate representation of his place of employment; rather, he was attempting to draw other readers into arguments for his own amusement. It is evident by your reply that he has succeeded. I hope that you recover speedily from his deceit and from any disappointment this revelation of his motives may bring you."
Oh right, thanks for the translation to adult. I guess "Lone Marauder" confused me with one of his 14 year old friends he likes to "sext" or whatever it is the tweens are doing these days. If he was little older and spent a bit more time here he'd know that Nagesh is 100% serious, he's brought up his company's precious CMM certification countless times before.

Interesting, err, let's just call it 'logic'...
I've seen Nagesh bleat on about CMM 5 too, just read some old comments, you'll see it. Sure he's a filthy troll but I reckon his deluded trumpet-blowing is more serious than you think.

Nah I'm good, thanks. You can remain the sole trollee...
You're as deluded as the trolls, but less experienced...

Butthurt much? Wouldn't you look less of a tit if you just laughed it off and said "dammit I got trolled"?

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Ernold:
Jerry:
Ernold:
Jerry:
Ernold:
Anonymous:
Abso:
Anonymous:
Lone Marauder:
Anonymous:
Having a pretty poster on your wall does not make you CMMI compliant. You do realise that CMM and CMMI are separate models that require separate appraisals, don't you? Compliance with CMM does not automatically make you compliant with CMMI. You need to go through the whole appraisal process again and the process areas have been considerably expanded so it's far harder than gaining CMM compliance. It sounds like your company are working to a completely obsolete standard.

YHBT. YHL. HAND.
WTF?

Please, allow me to translate: "Nagesh's post was not an accurate representation of his place of employment; rather, he was attempting to draw other readers into arguments for his own amusement. It is evident by your reply that he has succeeded. I hope that you recover speedily from his deceit and from any disappointment this revelation of his motives may bring you."
Oh right, thanks for the translation to adult. I guess "Lone Marauder" confused me with one of his 14 year old friends he likes to "sext" or whatever it is the tweens are doing these days. If he was little older and spent a bit more time here he'd know that Nagesh is 100% serious, he's brought up his company's precious CMM certification countless times before.

Interesting, err, let's just call it 'logic'...
I've seen Nagesh bleat on about CMM 5 too, just read some old comments, you'll see it. Sure he's a filthy troll but I reckon his deluded trumpet-blowing is more serious than you think.

Nah I'm good, thanks. You can remain the sole trollee...
You're as deluded as the trolls, but less experienced...

Butthurt much? Wouldn't you look less of a tit if you just laughed it off and said "dammit I got trolled"?

I love these "last word" games! I'm warning you now, you don't stand a chance - I'm still actively participating in a game of hide and seek I started in 1989.

boog · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Jerry:
...you don't stand a chance - I'm still actively participating in a game of hide and seek I started in 1989.

Are you hiding or seeking?

If you've been hiding for the last 22 years, I'm quite impressed. But if you've been seeking this whole time, that's actually pretty sad.

2011-04-08 Reply Admin

boog:
Jerry:
...you don't stand a chance - I'm still actively participating in a game of hide and seek I started in 1989.
Are you hiding or seeking?
If you've been hiding for the last 22 years, I'm quite impressed. But if you've been seeking this whole time, that's actually pretty sad.

Well of course I'm hiding! I remember seeing myself on a milk carton in the early 90s and I'm pretty sure my parents had a show funeral around 1996.

frits · 2011-04-08 Reply Admin

boog:
Jerry:
...you don't stand a chance - I'm still actively participating in a game of hide and seek I started in 1989.
Are you hiding or seeking?
If you've been hiding for the last 22 years, I'm quite impressed. But if you've been seeking this whole time, that's actually pretty sad.

Two words: Dat Phan.

Nagesh · 2011-04-13 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Nagesh:
C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
I hope you quit the job. :) Smart person always know when to quit.

Even if they're CMM 5 complaint?

Making little fun of CMM and ISO is ok, but not too much. After all these certifications create employment world-wide. A lot Europe people would be selling vegetables and fish if it were not for invention of ISO and CMM.

Please give respect where it is due.

A lot of people would be selling vegetables and fish if it were not for the invention of heroin but that doesn't mean it's a good thing.

Are you serious? I know that certificaton addiction is defintely better than heroin addiction. Don't try to be funny. Leave it to comedy people.

2011-04-15 Reply Admin

Fred:
An Old Hacker:
QJ:
dogbrags:
If it aint broke don't fix it. There are still millions (billions?) of lines of cobol code running mission-critical apps, that haven't changed in decades. Hows that for scary?

A job I recently left had me maintaining FORTRAN that I wrote some 20 years before because I was the only one left in the company who knows FORTRAN. They never replaced it with new technology because it was such a well-designed and bug-free system. But now I've left they may have to.

#1 rule of system maintainability: If you cannot maintain it, it is broken.

So congratulations, you spent twenty years maintaining an app that broke in the worst way the day you left.
Yeah, I think I know that Fortran guy, because I work on the team he just left. First, we haven't replaced his position, because he didn't do anything whatsoever in the last 3 years he was here. Second, his idea of version control was to tar up his entire 150 megabyte directory structure once every couple months or so. Yeah, his code is still running, but we are so replacing it with an industry standard module as soon as we can cut the tentacles it wove into practically everything in sight.

What an egocentric little prick you are! The "Industry Standard Module" you are replacing it with will, in very short order, be nothing but an "obsolete relic" that will be replaced by a new "Industry Standard Module". The Fortran solution in use WAS an "Industry Standard Module" - the only reason it will be replaced is that you haven't the mental capacity to program in Fortran - you just have to replace it with something "enterprise-y" that you, with your limited skill set, can deal with. God save us all from the likes of you - your kind can always come up with ways to piss away budgets "upgrading" things that already work! (this your idea of job security - reinventing the wheel at someone else's expense?)

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