The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
frits:
C-Octothorpe:
Macho:
frits:
Hater:
frits:
ObiWayneKenobi:
Protogenxl:
There is a local specialty retail store where the owner will fly off the rails at both employees and customers at the slightest hint of a problem. From a bar-code not scanning to having to get product from the stock room.

How, pray tell, does this store remain in business?
I'm guessing by rule of the Law of Supply and Demand. Think "Soup Nazi".
Woe cares you think? I go attemp back autofelate now...
Lay off the pills, bro.

Man, you having fun chatting with your sock-puppet?
No, I don't think it's a sock-puppet. It seems we have a new "Mr. T Experience" walking among us. Someone with poor communication skills telling everybody on the forum they're stupid and that they'll ban them.
I don't think it's the Mr. T Experience either. That guy was just straight trolling.

My best guess is it's either Zunesis, Nagesh, or someone from the great TDWTF hivemind. Either way, I couldn't care less what they think, and only respond for my own amusement.
Nobudy care what u think neither.

I guess we just found out which....

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Jill:
Paul:
Patrick:
Nederlander:
Kudzu Kid:
Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

Aha, but leaving sports equipment by the door is perfectly fine. And last I checked, both Archery and Baseball are valid sports.

Where I grew up, baseball bats were very popular sporting items. Nobody plays baseball there, though.
Oh, T-Ball and Softball?

Sadly, no, unless those are also medical terms used by orthopedic surgeons.

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Anon:
Matt Westwood:
I've just thought: did Steve then go and get a job as a security guard on the Jerry Springer show? He needs a show of his own, that man.

He already has one:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Steve_Wilkos_Show

Akismet says your comment was spam - fuck you akismet.

Drat, should have indicated I was being ironic. Fucking hell I hate that show. Wife loves it.

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Jill:
C-Octothorpe:
Paul:
Patrick:
Nederlander:
Kudzu Kid:
Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

Aha, but leaving sports equipment by the door is perfectly fine. And last I checked, both Archery and Baseball are valid sports.

Where I grew up, baseball bats were very popular sporting items. Nobody plays baseball there, though.
They're especially convenient because they fit in the trunk of your car perfectly!
Indeed. When I took up skiing, the skis wouldn't fit in the back of my car, so I bought a Baseball bat instead. Makes it a bit difficult to ski fast, but at least transport to and fro is simpler...

The criket bats is much beter for skiings.

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Jill:
C-Octothorpe:
Paul:
Patrick:
Nederlander:
Kudzu Kid:
Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

Aha, but leaving sports equipment by the door is perfectly fine. And last I checked, both Archery and Baseball are valid sports.

Where I grew up, baseball bats were very popular sporting items. Nobody plays baseball there, though.
They're especially convenient because they fit in the trunk of your car perfectly!
Indeed. When I took up skiing, the skis wouldn't fit in the back of my car, so I bought a Baseball bat instead. Makes it a bit difficult to ski fast, but at least transport to and fro is simpler...
The criket bats is much beter for skiings.

I knew someone who managed to water-ski on a cricket bat (adapted slightly so as to attach footholds) but then he's also done bare-foot water-skiing too, so no big deal. Suppose you could water-ski on a baseball bat as well, given practice.

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

That sounds like something a nerd would say to make him/herself feel stronger.

Zemm · 2011-11-01 Reply Admin

neminem:
Funny, I would've assumed the Castle doctrine would state that if you don't know the answer to something, you are required to instead make a snarky, wisecracking pop-culture reference.

Your dreamin'! I dug a hole. This isn't going to the pool room.

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Matt:
That sounds like something a nerd would say to make him/herself feel stronger.

Being concerned about strength sounds like something someone would do who isn't skilled in fighting.

boog · 2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Matt:
That sounds like something a nerd would say to make him/herself feel stronger.

Hey, right back at ya, Scooter!

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Actually, Steve's rageaholic behavior is a red flag. When coupled with an elevated sense of entitlement or self-worth, and posession of weapons, you are looking at someone who could be seriously dangerous.

A lot of these people show a pattern of steadily escalating deranged and violent behavior, and it is only a matter of time before they do something really bad. They have a problem that you can't fix. Your best option is to avoid them.

BTW, if he was at my front door yelling and screaming I would scoop up a couple of cats, open the door, and lob them in his direction, claws first.

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-01 Reply Admin

iToad:
Actually, Steve's rageaholic behavior is a red flag. When coupled with an elevated sense of entitlement or self-worth, and posession of weapons, you are looking at someone who could be seriously dangerous.
A lot of these people show a pattern of steadily escalating deranged and violent behavior, and it is only a matter of time before they do something really bad. They have a problem that you can't fix. Your best option is to avoid them.

BTW, if he was at my front door yelling and screaming I would scoop up a couple of cats, open the door, and lob them in his direction, claws first.

Epic fail. Most unpleasant thing to do to a cat.

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Nagesh:
Jill:
C-Octothorpe:
Paul:
Patrick:
Nederlander:
Kudzu Kid:
Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

Aha, but leaving sports equipment by the door is perfectly fine. And last I checked, both Archery and Baseball are valid sports.

Where I grew up, baseball bats were very popular sporting items. Nobody plays baseball there, though.
They're especially convenient because they fit in the trunk of your car perfectly!
Indeed. When I took up skiing, the skis wouldn't fit in the back of my car, so I bought a Baseball bat instead. Makes it a bit difficult to ski fast, but at least transport to and fro is simpler...
The criket bats is much beter for skiings.
I knew someone who managed to water-ski on a cricket bat (adapted slightly so as to attach footholds) but then he's also done bare-foot water-skiing too, so no big deal. Suppose you could water-ski on a baseball bat as well, given practice.

What's a cricket bat? Some strange cross between an insect and a flying fox?

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

When I did work for a husband-wife company I felt thankful that the fact that the husband of the team was my brother. I could argue with him and at least he would listen. He might not actually agree with me, but he would listen. Thankfully we never came to blows, having gotten that out of our system when we in the "Wally & Beaver" age group (a long time ago), with our father settling the differences (instead of the police). Then I found out that hiding under a bed was a good defense.

Thankfully the higher authority usually sided with me (being younger) and intervened before any bodily damage happened. Of course punishment was handed out, and there was no need to have knives placed in victim's hands to show self defense.

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Plz, no more using shotgun method for punctuation, kthx.

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Tonsil:
I hope you don't own any good knives. If I ever caught you putting a Wusthof in the dishwasher or a drawer without a guard, I'd take it from you, sharpen it, then stab you with it.

Huh? What kind of a crappy knife is harmed by a dishwasher?

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
iToad:
Actually, Steve's rageaholic behavior is a red flag. When coupled with an elevated sense of entitlement or self-worth, and posession of weapons, you are looking at someone who could be seriously dangerous.
A lot of these people show a pattern of steadily escalating deranged and violent behavior, and it is only a matter of time before they do something really bad. They have a problem that you can't fix. Your best option is to avoid them.

BTW, if he was at my front door yelling and screaming I would scoop up a couple of cats, open the door, and lob them in his direction, claws first.

Epic fail. Most unpleasant thing to do to a cat.

I keep a couple of sport cats by front door for this exact purpose.

SQLDave · 2011-11-01 Reply Admin

Lone Marauder:
QJo:
Bah! I'd attack him with my police, which I would skilfully wield by means of the 911 on my telephone which I would be deploying from the lofty vantage point of behind the sofa.

At which point your police will arrive 5 minutes later, and call an ambulance to remove your unconscious body from behind said sofa.

Seriously, the police are there to catch the criminal after a crime has happened, not to prevent it in the first place. Ask anyone that has had to deal with a stalker.

Best quote ever: "When seconds count, the police are just minutes away."

SQLDave · 2011-11-01 Reply Admin

PG4:
For our non US friends, and maybe some US ones that have no clue.....
You kill someone in your home, or elsewhere it is murder. Plain and simple. That might not be the exact charge, but you did a bad thing. Now the question becomes what was your defense if any.

You can claim self defense. In most states you are required to not start the fight and also try to retreat. If you met those conditions then self defense is still something you must prove. You must prove you had no choice.

Castle laws in most places say you don't have to try to retreat or other things if you are legally in your home or car and the other person is not legally entering. They don't have to have committed a crime yet. When that is the case you can claim self defense and the DA must prove that it was not.

Walking in a dark alley I shoot someone, I need to prove it was self defense.

Someone in my yard, and I shoot him. I will be charged with a crime. At the trial if I can show he was shooting at me through a window, thus it was self defense, I should get off.

Someone comes into my house in the middle of the night, and I shoot him, most likely I will not be charged based on self defense and Castle laws. Now if the DA can prove I lured the person into my house to shoot him, then I'm in big trouble.

Bottom line Castle laws are not an automatic get out jail free card. They shift the burden of proof if you claim self defense.

Sorry for the real life useful information. Now back to your normal bitching about the story.

Dude, seriously? You can only achieve orgasm if someone is shooting at you through a window? Or did you mean you would get off at the trial? Either way... yeeesh!

2011-11-01 Reply Admin

I seriously think I recognize this company. If not, I consulted for one that was VERY similar.

I stopped consulting after I got back to my office one day to an obscenity filled voicemail from the husband complaining my employee had moved his wife's computer without his permission. (Apparently HE wasn't there when she asked my employee to move the computer.)

Later found out from a very reliable source that he hand founded the company with backing from what you might call "good family men".

And apparently he was not in a position to pay it back.

I can't say I felt too badly for him.

CAPTCHA: genitus - The husband was no genitus.

DaveK · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

QJo:
DaveK:
QJo:
Lord Snooty McPosh:
Actually, if you calmly fetch a knife, you'll may well be charged. British courts have held that it's not self defense if you have time to go get a weapon. There was some talk of changing that, but I do not know the final outcome: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13957587.

Your word against his. "I happened to be in the kitchen, cutting up some steak ready to put it in the freezer for next week's barbecue, and suddenly I heard this crash ..."

"And this steak is where now? *scribble scribble* And the chopping board you were using? *scribble scribble* Looks awfully clean to me, sir. *scribble scribble*"
It can be pretty hard to set up all the forensics right to back up a false claim made on the spur of the minute, you know.

"I hadn't actually got round to getting either the steak or the chopping board out! Du-uh! Goodness me, what brand of wood do they chip you stupid plods out of nowadays?"

"*kzzakkk* Oh dear, sir, I appear to have accidentally tasered you into a small pile of smoking rags. *looks in fridge* No steak there either, I see. *slaps on cuffs* Guess we'd better continue this interview down at the station *crotchkick* And I'm going to have to charge you with damage to a police boot as well...."

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

dohpaz42:
In most U.S. states, it's only legal to kill an intruder if they were attacking you. So if somebody breaks in to your house, and you kill them, you "put a knife in their hand" so that you can claim self defense. It's an old running (almost inside) joke for us Americans.

Here in Australia I believe you can only defend yourself with an equal or lesser weapon, so while your attacker is advancing on you with a knife, you have to determine if your baseball bat is a lesser weapon or not. "It has a longer reach, but it needs a larger area to swing and the knife can inflict greater damage up close, hmmm" Too late, you're dead.

Coyne:
Patrick:
Aha, but leaving sports equipment by the door is perfectly fine. And last I checked, both Archery and Baseball are valid sports.
Well, yes and no: There is a difference.
A baseball bat isn't considered a weapon unless you actually assault (or batter) someone with it. Bow and arrow is always a weapon and is regulated as such (even if not usually as tightly as firearms).

All items are only weapons if they are used to attack someone, a ballpoint pen is a weapon if I stab someone in the neck with it, but the pistol in the gun safe in the next room is my sporting equipment for target shooting.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Anketam:
It appears that Steve needs to go work for a corporation and be forced to go to some required Workplace Violence training.

Why? He wasn't good enough at it?

QJo · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

DaveK:
QJo:
DaveK:
QJo:
Lord Snooty McPosh:
Actually, if you calmly fetch a knife, you'll may well be charged. British courts have held that it's not self defense if you have time to go get a weapon. There was some talk of changing that, but I do not know the final outcome: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13957587.

Your word against his. "I happened to be in the kitchen, cutting up some steak ready to put it in the freezer for next week's barbecue, and suddenly I heard this crash ..."

"And this steak is where now? *scribble scribble* And the chopping board you were using? *scribble scribble* Looks awfully clean to me, sir. *scribble scribble*"
It can be pretty hard to set up all the forensics right to back up a false claim made on the spur of the minute, you know.

"I hadn't actually got round to getting either the steak or the chopping board out! Du-uh! Goodness me, what brand of wood do they chip you stupid plods out of nowadays?"

"*kzzakkk* Oh dear, sir, I appear to have accidentally tasered you into a small pile of smoking rags. *looks in fridge* No steak there either, I see. *slaps on cuffs* Guess we'd better continue this interview down at the station *crotchkick* And I'm going to have to charge you with damage to a police boot as well...."

Thud, thud. Telephone conv: "Police please. It's Mrs. QJo here. I'm afraid we've got a problem - I've just had to use a golf club to clobber two intruders to our home who were impersonating police officers and have committed assault and actual bodily harm on my husband."

Steve The Cynic · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Fred:
Something like a hand perhaps? Most people have one of those...

Actually, most people have *two* hands...

Severity One · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Nederlander:
I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

There's a Zwilling carving knife somewhere in the kitchen. You'd better be wielding a gun when facing one of those.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

boog:
Justice:
Was there any clue as to what Steve and Paul actually came to blows about?
It was probably about whether or not to use curly braces on single line statements.

I WOULD murder you for not using curly braces or forgetting ";" . Had to minify a half-assed ajaxupload.js piece of jquery ... and ... let me murder the author plz ?

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Someone enlighten me how you 'call in' your two weeks notice? Surely the whole point of a notice period is you continue to work for those two weeks, which would necessarily entail you turning up at those premises?

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Jim Howard:
We don't have many home invasions here.

[Citation needed]

Texas 2010 burglaries: 228,597. Texas 2010 population: 25M.

2010 rate/100,000pop/yr: around 1000.

Texas 1960 burglaries: 57,589. Texas 1960 population: 10M.

1960 rate/100,000pop/yr: around 600.

For what I could find on the internet, this rate is around 500 in France, 1300 in UK, and 850 in South Africa... I don't see how Texas ranks in "not many" here, nor do I see how texan self-defense laws impact positively on the burglary rate. Plus, all wannabe tough guys here are completely putting aside the fact that having killed someone is not something easy to live with, nor for you nor for your family.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Patrick:
Quitting? You're quitting like a quitter? I have no room for quitters on my team! You're fired!

Dawn, get on to recruitment. Get them to look for a security team that can work as a team. They may have to escort the current security team from the building for not acting like a team.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

DaveK:
QJo:
DaveK:
QJo:
Lord Snooty McPosh:
Actually, if you calmly fetch a knife, you'll may well be charged. British courts have held that it's not self defense if you have time to go get a weapon. There was some talk of changing that, but I do not know the final outcome: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13957587.

Your word against his. "I happened to be in the kitchen, cutting up some steak ready to put it in the freezer for next week's barbecue, and suddenly I heard this crash ..."

"And this steak is where now? *scribble scribble* And the chopping board you were using? *scribble scribble* Looks awfully clean to me, sir. *scribble scribble*"
It can be pretty hard to set up all the forensics right to back up a false claim made on the spur of the minute, you know.

"I hadn't actually got round to getting either the steak or the chopping board out! Du-uh! Goodness me, what brand of wood do they chip you stupid plods out of nowadays?"

"*kzzakkk* Oh dear, sir, I appear to have accidentally tasered you into a small pile of smoking rags. *looks in fridge* No steak there either, I see. *slaps on cuffs* Guess we'd better continue this interview down at the station *crotchkick* And I'm going to have to charge you with damage to a police boot as well...."

This is exact stete of police work in Hyderabad.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

QJo:
DaveK:
QJo:
DaveK:
QJo:
Lord Snooty McPosh:
Actually, if you calmly fetch a knife, you'll may well be charged. British courts have held that it's not self defense if you have time to go get a weapon. There was some talk of changing that, but I do not know the final outcome: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13957587.

Your word against his. "I happened to be in the kitchen, cutting up some steak ready to put it in the freezer for next week's barbecue, and suddenly I heard this crash ..."

"And this steak is where now? *scribble scribble* And the chopping board you were using? *scribble scribble* Looks awfully clean to me, sir. *scribble scribble*"
It can be pretty hard to set up all the forensics right to back up a false claim made on the spur of the minute, you know.

"I hadn't actually got round to getting either the steak or the chopping board out! Du-uh! Goodness me, what brand of wood do they chip you stupid plods out of nowadays?"

"*kzzakkk* Oh dear, sir, I appear to have accidentally tasered you into a small pile of smoking rags. *looks in fridge* No steak there either, I see. *slaps on cuffs* Guess we'd better continue this interview down at the station *crotchkick* And I'm going to have to charge you with damage to a police boot as well...."

Thud, thud. Telephone conv: "Police please. It's Mrs. QJo here. I'm afraid we've got a problem - I've just had to use a golf club to clobber two intruders to our home who were impersonating police officers and have committed assault and actual bodily harm on my husband."

In my expairance, golf clubings are not sterdy enuf for unconsciousing anybudy.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Probably some gay european pot-smoking hippie:
all wannabe tough guys here are completely putting aside the fact that having killed someone is not something easy to live with, nor for you nor for your family.

It's a hell of a lot easier than living in fear that the guy you helped put in prison (or more likely, the illegal you helped escort to the border) is going to come back for retribution.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

[quote user="Matt Westwood"]BTW, if he was at my front door yelling and screaming I would scoop up a couple of cats, open the door, and lob them in his direction, claws first. [/quote]Epic fail. Most unpleasant thing to do to a cat.[/quote]I imagine tying up a cats legs, starting a charcoal grill, then tossing the cat on the grill and closing the lid would be much more unpleasant than that.

For some reason, after attending a shin-dig were a whole Pig was barbequed, I have repeated had the mental image of tossing The Pig onto the spit live and watching It squirm and oink in futility as It is slowly cooked alive.

Try to picture it - thrashing back and forth...

I find it strangely erotic.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Probably some gay european pot-smoking hippie:
Jim Howard:
We don't have many home invasions here.

[Citation needed]

Texas 2010 burglaries: 228,597. Texas 2010 population: 25M.

2010 rate/100,000pop/yr: around 1000.

Texas 1960 burglaries: 57,589. Texas 1960 population: 10M.

1960 rate/100,000pop/yr: around 600.

For what I could find on the internet, this rate is around 500 in France, 1300 in UK, and 850 in South Africa... I don't see how Texas ranks in "not many" here, nor do I see how texan self-defense laws impact positively on the burglary rate. Plus, all wannabe tough guys here are completely putting aside the fact that having killed someone is not something easy to live with, nor for you nor for your family.

A burglary is VERY different from a home invasion (in terms of classification). A 'burglary' is classified as such when someone breaks in to an immediately unoccupied home and steals stuff, and is usually done in secret. A 'home invasion' is nearly the same thing except they don't care whether there are people in the house or not, and are likely to call attention to themselves.

Based on those definitions, 228.5k burglaries in the state of Texas doesn't preclude a low number of home invasions.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Born Texas Proud:
Probably some gay european pot-smoking hippie:
all wannabe tough guys here are completely putting aside the fact that having killed someone is not something easy to live with, nor for you nor for your family.
It's a hell of a lot easier than living in fear that the guy you helped put in prison (or more likely, the illegal you helped escort to the border) is going to come back for retribution.

If you engage and don't kill him, you will equally live in the fear that he comes back, and that fear will be more realistic since in the case he went to jail for robbing YOU, he would be damn stupid if he'd come after YOU when he goes out...

I'm going to make a probability check here.

You engage in a violent fight against a professional criminal, probably armed and really fearless (as opposed to internet-tough-guy-fearless). What is the probability of you dying? What is the probability of neither of you dying, and him coming back for retribution? What is the probability that you engage and kill him, then have to live with it the rest of your life (not counting the probability that you lose some limb in the fight). Add the three.
You don't engage in a violent fight, the guy gets caught (as it was previously discussed, that's already a bold bet), goes to jail. What is the probability that he's dumb enough to come back for retribution, knowing that he will be the prime suspect? Are jails so fun in USA?

Conclusion: I'd actually rather stand back, lose my flat screen TV and my hi-fi, then get my insurance to buy it back. I don't see how THIS is not the logical move for everyone.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

"Husband and Wife team". That's a big red warning sign in my book. They ALWAYS turn out to be kooks, and in a family business, it's always the non-family who get screwed when the time come to royally screw the staff.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Rootbeer:
In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

Stupid liberals...

When you shoot someone through a door, you want penetration. A .45 pistol would be the better choice there.

Stupid liberals!

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

c:
Patrick:
Quitting? You're quitting like a quitter? I have no room for quitters on my team! You're fired!
Dawn, get on to recruitment. Get them to look for a security team that can work as a team. They may have to escort the current security team from the building for not acting like a team.

Team! Team, team, team, team, team. I even love saying the word 'team'. You probably think this is a picture of my family? No! It's The A-Team. Bodie, Doyle, Tiger, the Jewellery Man.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

why would you use a .45 for penetration? the slug is fat and slow. wouldn't a 5.56 be more appropriate? If you are going to be a right wing gun nut, at least make an effort at it.

trtrwtf · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Zune-Tran:
I don't have that big of a hard-on for you!

Yeah, that's what she said. And what he said. And it's what the cat said, too, and the corpse of the little old lady down the street, and your neighbor's parakeet as well.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Bldsquirrel:
Rootbeer:
In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

Stupid liberals...

When you shoot someone through a door, you want penetration. A .45 pistol would be the better choice there.

Stupid liberals!

Dumb conservatives, shooting holes in their own doors.

I have a perfectly good side door that I can use to perform a flanking maneuver on the crazy guy who's distracted by trying to pound down my sturdy front door with his fists. That way I don't waste any of my bullet's kinetic energy damaging my own property.

Energy efficiency, it's not just for tree-huggers ;-)

QJo · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Paul:
Bldsquirrel:
Rootbeer:
In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

Stupid liberals...

When you shoot someone through a door, you want penetration. A .45 pistol would be the better choice there.

Stupid liberals!

Dumb conservatives, shooting holes in their own doors.

I have a perfectly good side door that I can use to perform a flanking maneuver on the crazy guy who's distracted by trying to pound down my sturdy front door with his fists. That way I don't waste any of my bullet's kinetic energy damaging my own property.

Energy efficiency, it's not just for tree-huggers ;-)

Forsooth, thou art deluded! With my trusty cannon and four-inch cannonballs, my powder-monkey to load it and the trio of lusty seamen to operate it, then door, potential intruder, police and any mooching moggie will be all be obliterated in the same way that Napoleon was blown away at Trafalgar.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

QJo:
Thud, thud. Telephone conv: "Police please. It's Mrs. QJo here. I'm afraid we've got a problem - I've just had to use a golf club to clobber two intruders to our home who were impersonating police officers and have committed assault and actual bodily harm on my husband."

I am fairly certain that would not end well for you - simply because once it's determined that the two gents on your floor are in fact officers, everyone will work from the presumption that It's Your Fault.

You'd probably have much better luck putting them naked in their police car and calling the news to report indecency.

Nagesh · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Bulets never solve problems

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Rawr:
Someone enlighten me how you 'call in' your two weeks notice? Surely the whole point of a notice period is you continue to work for those two weeks, which would necessarily entail you turning up at those premises?

I've seen it, actually - if your job is senior enough or deals with sensitive enough material, companies will pay you to just stay away for those last two weeks, rather than deal with the security risk of you walking around.

trtrwtf · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

QJo:
Paul:
Bldsquirrel:
Rootbeer:
In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

Stupid liberals...

When you shoot someone through a door, you want penetration. A .45 pistol would be the better choice there.

Stupid liberals!

Dumb conservatives, shooting holes in their own doors.

I have a perfectly good side door that I can use to perform a flanking maneuver on the crazy guy who's distracted by trying to pound down my sturdy front door with his fists. That way I don't waste any of my bullet's kinetic energy damaging my own property.

Energy efficiency, it's not just for tree-huggers ;-)

Forsooth, thou art deluded! With my trusty cannon and four-inch cannonballs, my powder-monkey to load it and the trio of lusty seamen to operate it, then door, potential intruder, police and any mooching moggie will be all be obliterated in the same way that Napoleon was blown away at Trafalgar.

I prefer to exile intruders to an island where they can live out their lives contemplating the mainland and plotting their eventual conquest of Europe. But that's just me...

trtrwtf · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Bulets never solve problems

Yeah? Where would India be today if Gandhi had had your slacker attitude?

QJo · 2011-11-02 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
QJo:
Paul:
Bldsquirrel:
Rootbeer:
In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

Stupid liberals...

When you shoot someone through a door, you want penetration. A .45 pistol would be the better choice there.

Stupid liberals!

Dumb conservatives, shooting holes in their own doors.

I have a perfectly good side door that I can use to perform a flanking maneuver on the crazy guy who's distracted by trying to pound down my sturdy front door with his fists. That way I don't waste any of my bullet's kinetic energy damaging my own property.

Energy efficiency, it's not just for tree-huggers ;-)

Forsooth, thou art deluded! With my trusty cannon and four-inch cannonballs, my powder-monkey to load it and the trio of lusty seamen to operate it, then door, potential intruder, police and any mooching moggie will be all be obliterated in the same way that Napoleon was blown away at Trafalgar.

I prefer to exile intruders to an island where they can live out their lives contemplating the mainland and plotting their eventual conquest of Europe. But that's just me...

Allons, enfants de la Patrie ...

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

Nederlander:
Kudzu Kid:
Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

I'm British, and yes, I have knives in the kitchen. But in the room I am sitting at the moment the most obvious weapon is an anglepoise desk lamp with a weighted base. Hold it by the lamp end and I think it would make a reasonably effective mace. There's also a pair of hand weights that I use when working out on the Wii which would add a lot of extra hit to a punch, especially a sideswipe. And a glass vase I've never liked much, which isn't a weapon at the moment but which could quickly and easily be converted into one. I bet you have weapons all over your house: you just need to recognise them as such.

2011-11-02 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
Bulets never solve problems
Yeah? Where would India be today if Gandhi had had your slacker attitude?

They never would have got The Bomb, that's for sure.

Aggressive Management

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