• (cs)

    If only there was a cheese-related portmanteau for a swing and a miss.

  • anonymous (unregistered)

    For a minute I thought it said Cheesy Korma. But the shady contractors in this story weren't Indian...

  • Mason Wheeler (unregistered) in reply to Summon Bigger Fish™
    Summon Bigger Fish™:
    Sounds like the ole Cheddar Monk Mind Trick.
    Jar-Jar, you're a genius!
  • pedantic bastard (unregistered)

    This is U+00BA MASCULINE ORDINAL INDICATOR: º and this is U+00B0 DEGREE SIGN: °

    Yes, they are different in many fonts, dammit.

  • Righteous Indignation (unregistered) in reply to da Doctah

    I know a Rocky, his name is Brian.

  • (cs)

    Meh, gouda been better. Nice to read about a Big Bad Cheese getting smoked though.

  • Righteous Indignation (unregistered) in reply to Not Hans
    Not Hans:
    Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss a brie. I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody is looking for Stilton.

    YES !!!! highfive

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to pedantic bastard
    pedantic bastard:
    This is U+00BA MASCULINE ORDINAL INDICATOR: º and this is U+00B0 DEGREE SIGN: °

    Yes, they are different in many fonts, dammit.

    In many fonts the degree sign looks like ° while the masculine ordinal indicator looks like o. Not sure if it's just to differentiate between them or what...

  • (cs) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    For a minute I thought it said Cheesy Korma. But the shady contractors in this story weren't Indian...

    A nan-Indian joke?

  • Love Ewe (unregistered) in reply to Krenn
    Krenn:
    operagost:
    iWantToKeepAnon:
    Chester’s employer was often contracted to be a “firefighter”, when projects were ablaze and people were prepared to jump out of the windows to escape the heat.

    Is that a 911 joke? Even if it wasn't meant to be ... it is. Mod 'not funny', Mod 'insensitive clod'.

    Because no one ever jumped out of a burning building before 9/11.

    Indeed. It certainly didn't happen at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire back in 1911, no sir, nope.

    I don't mean to be a Montebore , but if that is some sick 1911 joke, it's not funny.

    captcha: aliquam - reluctance to pay spousal support.

  • (cs)

    Con job is con job.

  • J (unregistered) in reply to 30into
    30into:
    CCC sound awfully like my experience of working with a California company named after a certain fruit...

    Was it the California Raisins?

  • Anomaly (unregistered) in reply to chubertdev
    chubertdev:
    If only there was a cheese-related portmanteau for a swing and a miss.

    Swissmiss works pretty well.

  • (cs)

    apt-get install cheese?

  • coyo (unregistered) in reply to Algorythmics
    Algorythmics:
    I don't Brielieve how stupid this is. It makes me wonder what rubbish is stilton come.

    ... Gorgonzola.

    Is that made from real Gorgon milk?

  • PNellesen (unregistered) in reply to chubertdev

    Best. Replies. EVER!

  • (cs)

    It's articles like this that remind me why the DAILY WTF has become the WEEKLY WTF for me. Friday is the only day with anything interesting any more.

  • PubstarHero (unregistered) in reply to Zathras

    You forgot the SNL reference too.

  • (cs)

    Is there more than one APT? The APT I know is Automatically Programmed Tool, an NC Machining language not really suited to PLC controllers.

    When I was with Very Large Airplane Company we used APT to model parts, then with a cutter size of zero we'd make the drawings. Other coders would take our files and use appropriate sized cutters to generate the tool path code to machine the parts.

    Not the sort of thing a PLC would do.

  • verisimilidude (unregistered)

    After the Rock left it looked like Monty Python's Cheese Shop (please someone, post a link)

  • (cs) in reply to verisimilidude
    verisimilidude:
    After the Rock left it looked like Monty Python's Cheese Shop (please someone, post a link)

    I couldn't find that, but they told me to try here

  • ... (unregistered)

    Old languages never die, they just feta away....

  • Spencer (unregistered) in reply to Love Ewe
    Love Ewe:
    Krenn:
    operagost:
    iWantToKeepAnon:
    Chester’s employer was often contracted to be a “firefighter”, when projects were ablaze and people were prepared to jump out of the windows to escape the heat.

    Is that a 911 joke? Even if it wasn't meant to be ... it is. Mod 'not funny', Mod 'insensitive clod'.

    Because no one ever jumped out of a burning building before 9/11.

    Indeed. It certainly didn't happen at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire back in 1911, no sir, nope.

    I don't mean to be a Montebore , but if that is some sick 1911 joke, it's not funny.

    captcha: aliquam - reluctance to pay spousal support.

    I agree. My nephew once had a sick 1911 joke, and I assure you, it was no laughing manouri.

  • Grandpa (unregistered)

    enum Status { TRUE, FALSE, CHEESE_NOT_FOUND };

  • (cs) in reply to thosrtanner
    thosrtanner:
    verisimilidude:
    After the Rock left it looked like Monty Python's Cheese Shop (please someone, post a link)

    I couldn't find that, but they told me to try here

    It's no wonder you can't find the cheese. It's been taken to sickbay.

  • Sebastian Ramadan (unregistered)

    Feta pay for your contractors, or you might end up paying for the con-tractors. Edam and weep, CCC!

  • Gigaplex (unregistered)
    Chester’s firm was more cautious, more experienced, and more litigious than many of the CCC’s victims.
    Sounds like they'd be expensive
    That made Chester curious, since his company was the cheapest in the area
    Wait, what?
  • nobulate (unregistered) in reply to pedantic bastard
    pedantic bastard:
    This is U+00BA MASCULINE ORDINAL INDICATOR: º and this is U+00B0 DEGREE SIGN: °

    Yes, they are different in many fonts, dammit. 

       enum
   {
      MALE, 
      FEMALE, 
      KEVIN_BACON
   } GENDER_INDICATOR;
  • Fredda (unregistered) in reply to Some Damn Yank
    Some Damn Yank:
    Is there more than one APT? The APT I know is Automatically Programmed Tool, an NC Machining language not really suited to PLC controllers.

    When I was with Very Large Airplane Company we used APT to model parts, then with a cutter size of zero we'd make the drawings. Other coders would take our files and use appropriate sized cutters to generate the tool path code to machine the parts.

    Not the sort of thing a PLC would do.

    Stories here are heavily anonimized, so details are changed. It could actually be programming in BASIC for PSION devices or even SQL on a Mainframe for all we actually know. (Sometimes, it backfires and the story becomes literally unbelievable in the process.)

  • Johnny (unregistered)

    Ha ha ha! What a story, Charles!

  • foxyshadis (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    iWantToKeepAnon:
    Chester’s employer was often contracted to be a “firefighter”, when projects were ablaze and people were prepared to jump out of the windows to escape the heat.

    Is that a 911 joke? Even if it wasn't meant to be ... it is. Mod 'not funny', Mod 'insensitive clod'.

    Because no one ever jumped out of a burning building before 9/11.
    I feel bad, or possibly just very drunk, that I thought he meant a 911 emergency call in some kind of mentally challenged white knighting. Still dumb, if not total derp.

  • (cs)

    So ... the WTF is .... ?

  • GWO (unregistered) in reply to Spencer

    As Public Enemy once sang "1911 is a Joke in this town"

  • Neil (unregistered) in reply to coyo
    coyo:
    Algorythmics:
    I don't Brielieve how stupid this is. It makes me wonder what rubbish is stilton come.

    ... Gorgonzola.

    Is that made from real Gorgon milk?
    No, it's ordinary milk that has looked at a Gorgon.

  • quibus (unregistered)

    The Rock

    He's bigger than cheese is.

  • Goldeneye (unregistered) in reply to JWBS
    JWBS:
    Who in hell is "Jack"? He's mentioned once at the end of the article having a panic attack.

    Monterey Jack, of course.

  • (cs) in reply to Some Damn Yank
    Some Damn Yank:
    Is there more than one APT? The APT I know is Automatically Programmed Tool, an NC Machining language not really suited to PLC controllers.

    When I was with Very Large Airplane Company we used APT to model parts, then with a cutter size of zero we'd make the drawings. Other coders would take our files and use appropriate sized cutters to generate the tool path code to machine the parts.

    Not the sort of thing a PLC would do.

    Application Productivity Toolkit, developed by Texas Instruments a very long time ago for their 505 series PLCs. I know this because I was on the dev team for a companion product (the process control system, called Tistar once upon a time, but eventually named PCS7 OSx after Siemens bought it and rebranded it to go along with their S7 controller line).

    I can only assume the customer mentioned here was actually Golden Cheese, since that's the only cheese company I know of that used APT and Tistar.

    A couple of funny thoughts:

    1. I had a colleague visit Golden Cheese in the late 90s, and he said they were great people (and sent him home from his site visit with a bunch of cheese), so I'd have to imagine that if the "we screw our suppliers" bit is true, the management is very different than it was 15 years ago.

    2. The idea of the lab environment being stolen is absolutely hysterical, given that it has effectively zero value, and could probably be replaced on ebay for a few hundred bucks.

    3. If "PCS7" sounds familiar to anyone, it's because it, and its S7 controller, were the target of Stuxnet. The "PCS7 OSx" I mentioned above was a UNIX (eventually Linux) based process control system that was replaced by "PCS7," a windows based system developed by a different team (in Germany).

  • English Man (unregistered)

    American "cheese" is the real WTF.

  • (cs) in reply to Grandpa
    Grandpa:
    enum Status { TRUE, FALSE, CHEESE_NOT_FOUND };

    FETA_NOT_FOUND?

  • (cs) in reply to English Man
    English Man:
    American "cheese" is the real WTF.

    spotted dick

  • swordfishBob (unregistered) in reply to jkupski

    Hi guys. Do your PLC controllers have PIN numbers?

  • Norman Diamond (unregistered) in reply to jkupski
    jkupski:
    3. If "PCS7" sounds familiar to anyone, it's because it, and its S7 controller, were the target of Stuxnet. The "PCS7 OSx" I mentioned above was a UNIX (eventually Linux) based process control system that was replaced by "PCS7," a windows based system developed by a different team (in Germany).
    That seems like an unnecessary change. Just because they needed it to be infectable didn't mean they had to change the OS to Windows. Even though Linux infections are less famous, experts could have put an equivalent of Stuxnet on it if they'd needed to.
  • Shoruke (unregistered)

    The only thing worse than the cheesy puns in the article... is the cheesy puns in the comments...

    Make it stop... Chea-? I mean, please?

  • ChestersCheetah (unregistered) in reply to jkupski

    Ding ding!

    1. It only takes one jerk to ruin the fermentation and aging process of a Gouda company.

    2. The sticker price was probably over $100k, but worthless for anyone else. Didn't matter, they even took the staplers!

    Sadly, but perhaps not surprisingly, that facility is no more... and the same people are someplace else providing more WTFery. whey more, even.

  • Iguana (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    "Because no one ever jumped out of a burning building before 9/11."

    Fuc[king] exactly this. How PC do you want to be, to associate things that have always happened with traumatic experiences? Jesus.

  • wernsey (unregistered) in reply to Some Damn Yank
    Some Damn Yank:
    Is there more than one APT? The APT I know is Automatically Programmed Tool, an NC Machining language not really suited to PLC controllers.

    When I was with Very Large Airplane Company we used APT to model parts, then with a cutter size of zero we'd make the drawings. Other coders would take our files and use appropriate sized cutters to generate the tool path code to machine the parts.

    Not the sort of thing a PLC would do.

    And how do you suppose they cut the holes in the cheese then?

    Oh, feugiat about it.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to wernsey
    wernsey:
    Some Damn Yank:
    Is there more than one APT? The APT I know is Automatically Programmed Tool, an NC Machining language not really suited to PLC controllers.

    When I was with Very Large Airplane Company we used APT to model parts, then with a cutter size of zero we'd make the drawings. Other coders would take our files and use appropriate sized cutters to generate the tool path code to machine the parts.

    Not the sort of thing a PLC would do.

    And how do you suppose they cut the holes in the cheese then?

    Oh, feugiat about it.

    How do they cut the cheese? Mouse farts.

  • (cs)

    Incidentally, turns out there was a real business called the California Cheese Company—and it was owned by a Mafia boss.

  • Essex Kitten (unregistered) in reply to Gigaplex
    Gigaplex:
    Chester’s firm was more cautious, more experienced, and more litigious than many of the CCC’s victims.
    Sounds like they'd be expensive
    That made Chester curious, since his company was the cheapest in the area
    Wait, what?

    Let's apply logic: the guys who used to be the cheapest went bankrupt because they weren't paid. That leaves these guys in that place. Their competition probably gets a lawyer to every meeting to explain the "fuck you" prices.

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