The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Poor Hashini

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Goddamn Kendrick.

Scythe · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Now that's an interesting piece of code! And quite good, actually. Very informing comments, many useful functions;)

Apart from being crazy, this guy must be a quite good programmer;)

@Deprecated · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

That is not so much a WTF, but rather an OMG. And what's he got against Kendrick, anyway?

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Too far fetched to believe IMO

pbirmingham · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

And what's he got against Kendrick, anyway?

Not sure, perhaps

Kendrick.do(Lauren);

Remy Porter · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Okay, that comparison algorithm is not nearly generic enough. It needs to allow for the user to weight the various attributes in a scaled fashion- it's simply too naive. I mean, think about it- a "1" face is likely a show-stopper, no question. But a "5" face should, theoretically, be average. It shouldn't affect the ordering of the Girl struct, because even if another girl has a "4" face, but a "6" body, they should be close in order.

So, a non-WTF algorithm for quantifying people based on superficial physical characteristics would have the following features:

Attribute weighting: based on preference, attributes are weighted (some people will do anything for a pretty face, others for a massive rack, etc.)
Flexible attribute definitions: this algorithm offers nothing for the "ass man", nor does it offer fine grained control over "body", which- it's worth noting- contains many possible areas of interest.
Sorting should be done based on distance from the mean, not on raw scores. This difference should be multiplied by the weight of that attribute, and that number should be summed up to provide the final "score".

That sort of lazy code writing is TRWTF.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

WTF? Why does this guy hate me so much?

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Unfortunately Dave's not accounting for t*#s, a$$ and body. If you don't remember to check your edge conditions you can end up with TRWTF the morning after. I can't help but think that better unit testing might spare him some embarrassment...

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Clearly, using the variable name "cum" was a bit of a faux pas. Otherwise, looks very well done and professional.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

if (girl.Name == "Darcy") return cum;

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Why Dave? WHY?

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Fixed?

const bool wouldIDoHer = true;

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

--- a/Dave.cpp	2010-09-13 15:56:29.000000000 +0200
+++ b/Dave.cpp	2010-09-13 15:59:02.000000000 +0200
@@ -42,15 +42,16 @@
     short face;
     short body;
     short legs;
+    short boobs;
     bool wouldIDoHer;
 };
 
 int CompGirl(Girl g1, Girl g2)
 {
     double g1_score = Square(g1.face) 
-      + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs);
+      + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs) + NthPower(g1.boobs, 3);
     double g2_score = Square(g2.face) 
-      + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs);
+      + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs) + NthPower(g2.boobs, 3);
 
     if (g1_score == g2_score)
         return 0;
@@ -68,18 +69,21 @@
     AllGirls[0].face = 4;
     AllGirls[0].body = 5;
     AllGirls[0].legs = 4;
+    AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
     AllGirls[0].wouldIDoHer = true;
 
     AllGirls[1].name = "Darcy";
     AllGirls[1].face = 6;
     AllGirls[1].body = 5;
     AllGirls[1].legs = 7;
+    AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
     AllGirls[1].wouldIDoHer = true;
 
     AllGirls[2].name = "Hashini";
     AllGirls[2].face = 1;
     AllGirls[2].body = 4;
     AllGirls[2].legs = 4;
+    AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
     AllGirls[2].wouldIDoHer = false;
 
     //add sorting routine later

FTF Dave

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Andy:

--- a/Dave.cpp	2010-09-13 15:56:29.000000000 +0200
+++ b/Dave.cpp	2010-09-13 15:59:02.000000000 +0200
@@ -42,15 +42,16 @@
     short face;
     short body;
     short legs;
+    short boobs;
     bool wouldIDoHer;
 };
int CompGirl(Girl g1, Girl g2)
{
double g1_score = Square(g1.face)


 + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs);





 + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs) + NthPower(g1.boobs, 3);

double g2_score = Square(g2.face)



 + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs);





 + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs) + NthPower(g2.boobs, 3);

if (g1_score == g2_score)
return 0;
@@ -68,18 +69,21 @@
AllGirls[0].face = 4;
AllGirls[0].body = 5;
AllGirls[0].legs = 4;


AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
AllGirls[0].wouldIDoHer = true;
AllGirls[1].name = "Darcy";
AllGirls[1].face = 6;
AllGirls[1].body = 5;
AllGirls[1].legs = 7;


AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
AllGirls[1].wouldIDoHer = true;
AllGirls[2].name = "Hashini";
AllGirls[2].face = 1;
AllGirls[2].body = 4;
AllGirls[2].legs = 4;


AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
AllGirls[2].wouldIDoHer = false;
//add sorting routine later

FTF Dave

TRWTF is that you made a copy/paste error in a post. AllGirls[0].legs is set three times (you forgot to change your index).

Captcha opto -- opto mus prime's first name.

@Deprecated · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

tater tots:
Fixed?
const bool wouldIDoHer = true;

You forgot: const bool didSheSlapMe = true;

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Remy Porter:
Okay, that comparison algorithm is not nearly generic enough. It needs to allow for the user to weight the various attributes in a scaled fashion- it's simply too naive. I mean, think about it- a "1" face is likely a show-stopper, no question. But a "5" face should, theoretically, be average. It shouldn't affect the ordering of the Girl struct, because even if another girl has a "4" face, but a "6" body, they should be close in order.
So, a non-WTF algorithm for quantifying people based on superficial physical characteristics would have the following features:

Attribute weighting: based on preference, attributes are weighted (some people will do anything for a pretty face, others for a massive rack, etc.)

Flexible attribute definitions: this algorithm offers nothing for the "ass man", nor does it offer fine grained control over "body", which- it's worth noting- contains many possible areas of interest.

Sorting should be done based on distance from the mean, not on raw scores. This difference should be multiplied by the weight of that attribute, and that number should be summed up to provide the final "score".

That sort of lazy code writing is TRWTF.

You've thought about this way too much!

Remy Porter · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

I was tempted to write pseudocode.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

TRWTF is storing information about "short legs". Everybody knows that legs should be long! Now his weighting will be all backwards.

What, it doesn't work that way? Computers don't make that kind of call when reading source code? Hrmph. Well, it should.

Of course, if he hadn't told anyone, what're the odds that this would even have been noticed, since it wouldn't show up on a diff unless you nailed one of those two versions?

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

NthPower(g1.boobs, 3); You're not reusing Cube...

JamesQMurphy · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

I think we found the one instance where Access would have been the better choice.

toth · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Andy:

...

     double g1_score = Square(g1.face) 
-      + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs);
+      + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs) + Cube(g1.boobs);
     double g2_score = Square(g2.face) 
-      + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs);
+      + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs) + Cube(g2.boobs);

...

FTFY (why not use library functions that are already there?)

JamesQMurphy · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

I can also guess what kind of appointment Dave has at 5pm.

toth · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

JamesQMurphy:
I think we found the one instance where Access would have been the better choice.

No, Darcy would have been the better choice.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

JamesQMurphy:
I can also guess what kind of appointment Dave has at 5pm.

You want to get the prostitute at the start of her shift.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Clearly, this disproves the stereotype that computer programmers are rage-filled and socially awkward.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Andy:
[code] --- a/Dave.cpp 2010-09-13 15:56:29.000000000 +0200 +++ b/Dave.cpp 2010-09-13 15:59:02.000000000 +0200 @@ -42,15 +42,16 @@ short face; short body; short legs; + short boobs; bool wouldIDoHer; };
FTF Dave

Short boobs better than long boobs.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Dear Dave,

A better idea would be to do a quick Google search and find out that you can in fact delete a file from a Subversion repository (if you use the URL).

And Noah, do you even knowah anything about Subversion?

kthxbye

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

DeaDPooL:
Too far fetched to believe IMO

From personal experience I disagree. The devs at my company are absolutely useless when it comes to code syncs (we use Serena Dimensions with the Windows Explorer plugin for synching a local work area with the back-end). They are forever checking in files that have no place being in source control, just because said file was in their work area and they forgot to delete/ignore it before syncing. This happens about once a week, give or take.

Now, plenty of our coders write stuff on their own time, either proper code or fun little algorithms like Dave's "girl-ranking" algorithm. I really don't think it is much of a stretch for a non-work file to end up in a synchronisable work area. If that happens and you don't pay attention whilst syncing, crap like this is inevitable. I've never come across a girl-ranking algorithm but I have certainly seen plenty of examples of inappropriate files being commited to source control due to a bad sync.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Rob:
Clearly, this disproves the stereotype that computer programmers are rage-filled and socially awkward.

Yep, turns out we're actually pitiful and socially awkward. Much better.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Looks like Kendrick isn't the one who's gonna get blackmailed.

xtremezone · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Richard:
Of course, if he hadn't told anyone, what're the odds that this would even have been noticed, since it wouldn't show up on a diff unless you nailed one of those two versions?

Not to mention, if he had been in the least bit competent, he would have just asked Google, or IRC, or any number of other places online how to undo a commit in Subversion rather than going to somebody on his team and bringing attention to himself. I think it is possible, but it's not pretty, and requires direct access to the repository (which I'm guessing he wouldn't have had).

Still, blindly adding files to source control is incompetent anyway... Probably a Windows n00b.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Remy Porter:
I was tempted to write pseudocode.

Pseudocode? At this point I'm starting to think you may already have a working prototype...

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

//Remeber the f*cking appointment at 5 PM today

I hope the f*cking appointment is for an interview somewhere else.

This code is just begging to be put up on every bulletin board in the office.

CAPTCHA: iusto

jonsjava · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

pbirmingham:
And what's he got against Kendrick, anyway?
Not sure, perhaps
Kendrick.do(Lauren);

+1

You had me laughing at my desk. I tried sniffing coke because of that Darn ice cubes...

Remy Porter · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Pseudocode? At this point I'm starting to think you may already have a working prototype...

It's not my fault that finding optima in a search space is an interesting problem.

Remy Porter · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

JamesQMurphy:
I can also guess what kind of appointment Dave has at 5pm.

It says right in the comment: it's a f*cking appointment.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

I've found the WTF in Dave's girl-ranking algorithm. It makes all the calculations correctly but fails to handle the GirlWouldntTouchYouWithATenFootBargePoleException that gets thrown as soon as he attempts to interop with the girl.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Why square everything in the comparison function? Without negatives it makes no difference. With negatives someone with a -5 for their face would rate higher than a 4.. didn't dave get this code reviewed?

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

So, the other day I was making the case that code was not a window into the emotions, experiences, and ultimately the soul of the developer.

After seeing today's example, I stand corrected. Well played, TheDailyWTF. Well played.

animal crackers or Lorna Doones

Lorna Doones. No question. Cookie always beats cracker.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Where's the function to choose between Lorna Doones and Animal Crackers?

I figured the WTF would be that he's always choosing Doones because Lorna.wouldIDoHer = true, but is false for animal crackers.

DaveE

madjo · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Maybe the appointment is for his daily spell checker? "Remeber"? Where's the second M?

GalacticCowboy · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

highphilosopher:

Andy:

--- a/Dave.cpp	2010-09-13 15:56:29.000000000 +0200
+++ b/Dave.cpp	2010-09-13 15:59:02.000000000 +0200
@@ -42,15 +42,16 @@
     short face;
     short body;
     short legs;
+    short boobs;
     bool wouldIDoHer;
 };
int CompGirl(Girl g1, Girl g2)
{
double g1_score = Square(g1.face)


 + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs);





 + Square(g1.body) + Square(g1.legs) + NthPower(g1.boobs, 3);

double g2_score = Square(g2.face)



 + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs);





 + Square(g2.body) + Square(g2.legs) + NthPower(g2.boobs, 3);

if (g1_score == g2_score)
return 0;
@@ -68,18 +69,21 @@
AllGirls[0].face = 4;
AllGirls[0].body = 5;
AllGirls[0].legs = 4;


AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
AllGirls[0].wouldIDoHer = true;
AllGirls[1].name = "Darcy";
AllGirls[1].face = 6;
AllGirls[1].body = 5;
AllGirls[1].legs = 7;


AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
AllGirls[1].wouldIDoHer = true;
AllGirls[2].name = "Hashini";
AllGirls[2].face = 1;
AllGirls[2].body = 4;
AllGirls[2].legs = 4;


AllGirls[0].legs = 1; // FIXME: needs to be added by Dave
AllGirls[2].wouldIDoHer = false;
//add sorting routine later

FTF Dave

TRWTF is that you made a copy/paste error in a post. AllGirls[0].legs is set three times (you forgot to change your index).

Captcha opto -- opto mus prime's first name.

However, AllGirls[n].boobs is never set at all, which was apparently the point of the whole edit...

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

mfc:
//Remeber the f*cking appointment at 5 PM today
I hope the f*cking appointment is for an interview somewhere else.

This code is just begging to be put up on every bulletin board in the office.

CAPTCHA: iusto

I believe the f*cking appointment is in a hotel, discussing a "job" with either Lauren or Darcy. Hashini apparently didn't make the cut.

Lastchance · 2010-09-13 Reply Admin

blahblah:
Poor Hashini

Don't you mean lucky Hashini?

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

//ONLY EDIT WHEN NOBODY ELSE IS IN THE OFFICE //ONLY EDIT WHEN NOBODY ELSE IS IN THE OFFICE

Wonder if he'd been caught editing this during work hours in the past.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Motty:
if (girl.Name == "Darcy") return cum;

not sure about the return statement, every time I've implemented this I've used an out parameter..

sorry.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Martin Booth:
Why square everything in the comparison function? Without negatives it makes no difference. With negatives someone with a -5 for their face would rate higher than a 4.. didn't dave get this code reviewed?

He probably meant to do root-sum-squared but forgot the root.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

Martin Booth:
Why square everything in the comparison function? Without negatives it makes no difference. With negatives someone with a -5 for their face would rate higher than a 4.. didn't dave get this code reviewed?

Consider (assume only boobs and face are scored):

Girls[0].boobs = 2; Girls[0].face = 2;

Girls[1].boobs = 3; Girls[1].face = 1;

In this case, under a simple linear comparison, both girls would score equally. But with attributes squared, Girls[1] would make a better lay, as her cracking norks more than make up for her hideous visage.

2010-09-13 Reply Admin

xtremezone:
Not to mention, if he had been in the least bit competent, he would have just asked Google, or IRC, or any number of other places online how to undo a commit in Subversion rather than going to somebody on his team and bringing attention to himself. I think it is possible, but it's not pretty, and requires direct access to the repository (which I'm guessing he wouldn't have had).

Actually, it's very easy to remove files from a Subversion repository's history.

Coincidentally, it's even easier to completely demolish your repository while doing so.

Dave.cpp

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