The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch IT again.

FTFY

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
hoodaticus:
sotian:
TWTF not using Metric
Right, because multiplication by a constant is too difficult.
Oh wait, you do that in metric, too.

How many square feet is a square mile?

How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.

Nope. All that is irrelevant in the face of (drumroll, please)... customer requirements! If you're talking about residential and average commercial buildings, or maybe real estate, then square miles and square kilometers are totally irrelevant.

I work as an engineer for the DoD. We use imperial units and metric units, with a preference for the former. For length, we use inches, not feet/yards/whatever, unless the customer wants us to mix units. The drawings are in inches (or "mils", which are thousandths of inches). All the benefits of metric without conversion factors, and compatibility with all existing work. Arbitrarily changing units to things the customer doesn't expect costs you space probes on a good day.

The rule is: pick something and stick with it. Here in the US, office space is leased in square feet. If you're writing a database for managing a US-only real estate company, you use square feet because that's what they want to see.

hoodaticus · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

boog:
hoodaticus:
metric:
How many square feet is a square mile?
How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.
Yes, but if "multiplication" only involves moving a decimal point back and forth, any moron can do it.

People still do that by hand?

ralfonso · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

SQFT = Square feet

boog · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
boog:
hoodaticus:
metric:
How many square feet is a square mile?
How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.
Yes, but if "multiplication" only involves moving a decimal point back and forth, any moron can do it.
People still do that by hand?

Sure, if they can't figure out how to operate a calculator.

I did say morons, didn't I?

Coyne · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

...and this isn't even the best part. Here's some samples of the content:

Total_Length_Linear_FT
--------------------------------------------------
seventy two
thirty six point five
eight and one fourth

You should see the database functions to add and subtract...

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

ralfonso:
SQFT = Square feet

How'd you get so smart?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
metric:
hoodaticus:
sotian:
TWTF not using Metric
Right, because multiplication by a constant is too difficult.
Oh wait, you do that in metric, too.

How many square feet is a square mile?

How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.

If this is beyond your grasp, there is little hope for you.

Insults are usually a good sign that you don't have any good arguments left. All constants aren't equal. I'll demonstrate it for you:

One mile is 5280 feet (I had to look it up, but you might know it by heart). That number we square using a calculator to get 27 878 400 square feet.

One kilometer is 1000 meters. Square that in your head to get 1000 000 square meters.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

ralfonso:
SQFT = Square feet

Hear that whooshing sound?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

token_woman:
You mean KW/h as opposed to KWh? Does this mean I've found an ally in my annoyance at the notation "24/7"? We have customers paying over the odds for 24/7 support. I'd love to take them up on it and support them for roughly 3.4 hours a week. Wednesday afternoons, preferably - I do like a long weekend.

For many corporations, this would be a big improvement.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Ack:
Damn, to make long enough to even figure out what SQFT meant. Silly imperial measures....

No, clearly it means SQl F*** Table. So Total_Length_SQFT is the length of the table this column belongs to. How else would you store it?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Me:
ralfonso:
SQFT = Square feet
How'd you get so smart?

Nah, he's wrong. It's SQUID FEET.

They have about a dozen legs, so any human foot counts for six in this system. It's good because it's six times more precise than the standard imperial foot while not using the extra complication of inches (so it's not as precise as the feet/inches system).

Nagesh · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

This is a good WTF. I have also seen one system where user is trying to calculate time using decimal time approach. Decimal time has 10 hours in day 10 days in week and 100 days in year. is real confusing.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

boog:
Yes, but if "multiplication" only involves moving a decimal point back and forth, any moron can do it.

So you're saying that the metric system was designed for morons?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
This is a good WTF. I have also seen one system where user is trying to calculate time using decimal time approach. Decimal time has 10 hours in day 10 days in week and 100 days in year. is real confusing.

Err, that's not a WTF, that's just metric time. In the UK we converted to metric back in 1966. Ever since then we've been working a 20 hour day, 10 days a week for 300 days a year. Are you seriously trying to tell me that you still use imperial time in India? I know you guys are a few years behind the developed world but wow, imperial time, what a joke.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

sotian:
TWTF not using Metric

This is correct and is chief reason for your sad loss of multi-million dollar Mars probe.

da Doctah · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Marvin the Martian:
Me:
ralfonso:
SQFT = Square feet
How'd you get so smart?
Nah, he's wrong. It's SQUID FEET.
They have about a dozen legs, so any human foot counts for six in this system. It's good because it's six times more precise than the standard imperial foot while not using the extra complication of inches (so it's not as precise as the feet/inches system).

See also "dog years".

frits · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Don:
boog:
Yes, but if "multiplication" only involves moving a decimal point back and forth, any moron can do it.
So you're saying that the metric system was designed for morons?

Everything should be designed for morons.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.

Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

I assume SQFT stands for squared feet

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Length... in square feet? 50 characters? Alphabetic characters allowed? I'm sure there's a "future proofing" joke here somewhere but damn, what sort of bizarre future is this guy proofing for?

Yes, the data should be of the form "80.3 sf". How else could you represent that other than nvarchar? It's nvarchar of course in case you wanted to enter that data in japanese kanji instead of english characters.

Power Troll · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Umm, people still use RDBMSes? Pretty sure this wouldn't have happened in MongoDB.

Then again, what do I know? I moved to Neo4J and SPARQL a long time ago.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.

You're right, fortunately he's not making fun of retar... uh, I mean mentally challenged people.

BTW, welcome to the internets; please leave your over-sensitivity at the door. Trying to enforce PCness is overdone.

boog · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
hoodaticus:
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.
One mile is 5280 feet (I had to look it up, but you might know it by heart). That number we square using a calculator to get 27 878 400 square feet.
One kilometer is 1000 meters. Square that in your head to get 1000 000 square meters.

I think you're missing the point. As a programmer, I have to write the same code either way, just with different constants.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.

Fuck off Bob and take your shitty genetics with you. Don't get butthurt with us because you can't fucking reproduce properly. Sounds like your retard kids are just like daddy.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

bar:
Ack:
Damn, to make long enough to even figure out what SQFT meant. Silly imperial measures....
No, clearly it means SQl F*** Table. So Total_Length_SQFT is the length of the table this column belongs to. How else would you store it?

Maybe it means SQl FarT. As in, I need a length, so: "select Top 1 Total_Length_SQFT from table" -- no where clause or order by. Whatever the SQL optimizer farts out, is the value. Bonus onomatopoeia.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
Insults are usually a good sign that you don't have any good arguments left. All constants aren't equal. I'll demonstrate it for you:
One mile is 5280 feet (I had to look it up, but you might know it by heart). That number we square using a calculator to get 27 878 400 square feet.

One kilometer is 1000 meters. Square that in your head to get 1000 000 square meters.

You don't get it, do you? You're not supposed to calculate with units. Customers are not supposed to think about numbers at all. Just believe all those shiny numbers that businesses spend so much effort making up for you.

I mean, how are hard-working corporations supposed to cheat their customers given all that truth-in-advertising crap if not with confusing numbers and units? They need this shit or soon customers will only pay for what they get. Just look at Europe and what a fascist socialism it has become. See what I mean?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

I am not a nice person but at least my kids aren't retards:
Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.
Fuck off Bob and take your shitty genetics with you. Don't get butthurt with us because you can't fucking reproduce properly. Sounds like your retard kids are just like daddy.

That's a little harsh... I hate it when people try to push their sensitivity bullshit on me via PCness, however I do believe in karma, and karma can be a real bitch (librarians, receptionists, payroll workers, and karma are things I NEVER fuck with).

Remember, you can still get brain damage AFTER birth dumbass, however obviously you already know that judging by your intelligent and fate-tempting post above.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

boog:
metric:
hoodaticus:
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.
One mile is 5280 feet (I had to look it up, but you might know it by heart). That number we square using a calculator to get 27 878 400 square feet.
One kilometer is 1000 meters. Square that in your head to get 1000 000 square meters.
I think you're missing the point. As a programmer, I have to write the same code either way, just with different constants.

As a scientist, I have to do conversions all the time, often in the head.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

They're definitely in Hectares, no doubt about it.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

^+1 for sure

boog · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Don:
boog:
Yes, but if "multiplication" only involves moving a decimal point back and forth, any moron can do it.
So you're saying that the metric system was designed for morons?

Not at all, no, I'm just thinking it very loudly.

But to be fair, it's amazing how many morons still refuse to use it, even though it's so much easier.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
I think I'm a scientist. I also have conversations with the voices in the head all the time.

FTFY

boog · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
boog:
I think you're missing the point. As a programmer, I have to write the same code either way, just with different constants.

As a scientist, I have to do conversions all the time, often in the head.

Good for you. Go read TheDailyScienceWTF.com then. I was just clarifying that hoodarino was (probably) arguing from a programming point of view.

Honestly, I prefer to work with metric over imperial units any day. Metric just makes sense, while imperial units are, well, dumb. But really, how often do I (as a programmer) get to make that choice? The customer wants square feet, so they get square feet.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
I am not a nice person but at least my kids aren't retards:
Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.
Fuck off Bob and take your shitty genetics with you. Don't get butthurt with us because you can't fucking reproduce properly. Sounds like your retard kids are just like daddy.

That's a little harsh... I hate it when people try to push their sensitivity bullshit on me via PCness, however I do believe in karma, and karma can be a real bitch (librarians, receptionists, payroll workers, and karma are things I NEVER fuck with).

Remember, you can still get brain damage AFTER birth dumbass, however obviously you already know that judging by your intelligent and fate-tempting post above.

Using language like this is why your foolish "freedom of speech" is doomed to failure. Why you abuse such a priviledge?

Power Troll · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
I am not a nice person but at least my kids aren't retards:
Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.
Fuck off Bob and take your shitty genetics with you. Don't get butthurt with us because you can't fucking reproduce properly. Sounds like your retard kids are just like daddy.

That's a little harsh... I hate it when people try to push their sensitivity bullshit on me via PCness, however I do believe in karma, and karma can be a real bitch (librarians, receptionists, payroll workers, and karma are things I NEVER fuck with).

Remember, you can still get brain damage AFTER birth dumbass, however obviously you already know that judging by your intelligent and fate-tempting post above.

I messed around with a librarian once. Afterwards, they threw the book at me.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Power Troll:
C-Octothorpe:
I am not a nice person but at least my kids aren't retards:
Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.
Fuck off Bob and take your shitty genetics with you. Don't get butthurt with us because you can't fucking reproduce properly. Sounds like your retard kids are just like daddy.

That's a little harsh... I hate it when people try to push their sensitivity bullshit on me via PCness, however I do believe in karma, and karma can be a real bitch (librarians, receptionists, payroll workers, and karma are things I NEVER fuck with).

Remember, you can still get brain damage AFTER birth dumbass, however obviously you already know that judging by your intelligent and fate-tempting post above.

I messed around with a librarian once. Afterwards, they threw the book at me.

Really? I usually pay for that kind of stuff...

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?

About 42 point Londres SQACRES.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Boris Vladamir (Nagesh's russian sockpuppet):
C-Octothorpe:
I am not a nice person but at least my kids aren't retards:
Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.
Fuck off Bob and take your shitty genetics with you. Don't get butthurt with us because you can't fucking reproduce properly. Sounds like your retard kids are just like daddy.

That's a little harsh... I hate it when people try to push their sensitivity bullshit on me via PCness, however I do believe in karma, and karma can be a real bitch (librarians, receptionists, payroll workers, and karma are things I NEVER fuck with).

Remember, you can still get brain damage AFTER birth dumbass, however obviously you already know that judging by your intelligent and fate-tempting post above.
Using language like this is why your foolish "freedom of speech" is doomed to failure. Why you abuse such a priviledge?

Nothing to do with freedom of speech. Just saying that being a complete wanker tends to come back to bite you in the ass, one way or the other. Which is why I don't get bent out of shape when people are assholes; I know they'll get theirs (if they are not already getting it).

And now I'm going to stop responding to a strange american sitting in the mid-west pretending (badly) to be a russian, for odd some reason...

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

sotian:
TWTF not using Metric

That reminds me of my all-time favorite highway sign. It read: "All metric signs: Next 50 miles"

Nagesh · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

English Man:
Nagesh:
This is a good WTF. I have also seen one system where user is trying to calculate time using decimal time approach. Decimal time has 10 hours in day 10 days in week and 100 days in year. is real confusing.
Err, that's not a WTF, that's just metric time. In the UK we converted to metric back in 1966. Ever since then we've been working a 20 hour day, 10 days a week for 300 days a year. Are you seriously trying to tell me that you still use imperial time in India? I know you guys are a few years behind the developed world but wow, imperial time, what a joke.

The British Empire stuck a lot of things to us. We have been trying to get out for a long time. Their experiements on the population also result in alot of Anglo Indian (mix bred) people being born in the sub continent.

dohpaz42 · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?

Is that a metric 1 to 10, or an imperial 1 to 10?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

dohpaz42:
Alex Papadimoulis:
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?

Is that a metric 1 to 10, or an imperial 1 to 10?

-9

dugginator · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
I think you're missing the point. As a programmer, I have to write the same code either way, just with different constants.

I like to store the numeric value "1" (without the quotes) in all of my numeric columns, and then hard-code every possible constant in the GUI layer. This way, the user can choose between inches, feet, furlongs, etc.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
...karma... ...fate-tempting post...

Unlike you I'm not tree-fucking new age hippie flower fairy, so I'll take my chances. Go listen to some gregorian chants or whatever it is you people do.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
boog:
hoodaticus:
metric:
How many square feet is a square mile?
How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.
Yes, but if "multiplication" only involves moving a decimal point back and forth, any moron can do it.
People still do that by hand?

There are people out there who know how to multiply without using a calculator?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

the script kiddie:
pet hate of mine, people getting units dimensionally wrong. especially when people quote energy usage in KW/h . That one, especially, makes me cry on the inside.

Because of Moore's law, it should now be MW/h? Is that it? Or MiW/h?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
The British Empire stuck a lot of things to us..... Their experiements on the population also result in alot of Anglo Indian (mix bred) people being born in the sub continent.

Is that what they call raping and pillaging these days?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

steve:
predecessor or colleague?

He was a colleague until someone found out about this, and then he died. So now, he is a predecessor.

Fundamental Misunderstanding

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