The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

ralfonso:
SQFT = Square feet

Oooohhhh. I thought it should for "Southern Qatar Football Team".

FriedDan · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

I can't believe that everyone missed the point that badly! This is wonderfully efficient code.

The field obviously stores both the length AND the area. You wouldn't be able to do that will a silly numeric field, and this way you get to use XML!

To top it all off, it saves space by sparing you from having to store the width of the item because it can be calculated at query time buy using a SQL XML parser!

Really, this site is going downhill.

boog · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

FriedDan:
I can't believe that everyone missed the point that badly!

I actually missed the point quite well, thank you.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

golddog:
the chimps that originally built our database defined household number as verchar throughout the database. Then built a function used when inserting a new record which determines the new value by taking the max currently in the table, converting it to int and adding one.

Yeah, they should have used a stored procedure. Function, schmunction.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
you still multiply by a constant and then square it

If only there were square constants, you could even save a step.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Okay, I've given up even trying to write an interesting or amusing post. I'm just trying to get something, anything, past Akismet. What are the rules, anyway?

Nagesh · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.

Addendum (2011-03-30 17:18): India has won and will not face Sri Lanka in the finals. Cricket is one game where Asians are dominating. I await Japan, China and Korea to form teams that will qualify one day.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

I am a very sad person who jerks off at least 5 times a day to gay pr0n and am angry at the world and all of it's inhabitants because of it:
C-Octothorpe:
...karma... ...fate-tempting post...
Unlike you I'm not tree-fucking new age hippie flower fairy, so I'll take my chances. Go listen to some gregorian chants or whatever it is you people do.

Good try, however I am not a "tree-fucking new age hippie flower fairy", nor do I listen to "gregorian chants"... I am however very sorry you feel you need to be such an angry prick that only feels satisfied when you have pushed your virtiol onto everybody else. I'm sure that attitude will get you very far in life.

Nagesh · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Doozerboy:
Nagesh:
The British Empire stuck a lot of things to us..... Their experiements on the population also result in alot of Anglo Indian (mix bred) people being born in the sub continent.

Is that what they call raping and pillaging these days?

Yes. You can call it that name also.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Jay:
Okay, I've given up even trying to write an interesting or amusing post. I'm just trying to get something, anything, past Akismet. What are the rules, anyway?

First rule: Stop wanting to post. It's like zen.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

token_woman:
the script kiddie:
pet hate of mine, people getting units dimensionally wrong. especially when people quote energy usage in KW/h . That one, especially, makes me cry on the inside.

You mean KW/h as opposed to KWh? Does this mean I've found an ally in my annoyance at the notation "24/7"? We have customers paying over the odds for 24/7 support. I'd love to take them up on it and support them for roughly 3.4 hours a week. Wednesday afternoons, preferably - I do like a long weekend.

The best is when they tack on the "365". 24/7/365 is "24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks a... Waitaminute...". It reeks of buzzwords and morons.

Perky people suck. Marketers and salespeople are perky. Why can't they just die in a fire?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

frits:
Everything should be designed for morons.

Yeah. Like my shiny new zapomatic 1000Kw/h per second ray gun. It specializes in morons.

I am so damn sick of living in a world where everything is designed for morons, because I am not a moron.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.

I gotta give you credit for being able to follow a sport whose games can last 5 days long...

boog · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Jay:
Okay, I've given up even trying to write an interesting or amusing post. I'm just trying to get something, anything, past Akismet. What are the rules, anyway?

if(not spam)
  block message
else
  allow message

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.

I think maybe he was intending to offend the retard who wrote that offensive code.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Some Guy:
token_woman:
the script kiddie:
pet hate of mine, people getting units dimensionally wrong. especially when people quote energy usage in KW/h . That one, especially, makes me cry on the inside.

You mean KW/h as opposed to KWh? Does this mean I've found an ally in my annoyance at the notation "24/7"? We have customers paying over the odds for 24/7 support. I'd love to take them up on it and support them for roughly 3.4 hours a week. Wednesday afternoons, preferably - I do like a long weekend.

The best is when they tack on the "365". 24/7/365 is "24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks a... Waitaminute...". It reeks of buzzwords and morons.

Perky people suck. Marketers and salespeople are perky. Why can't they just die in a fire?

Because without those brain-dead peddlers, software developers would be out of a job... It's like bug spray: you hate the smell and feeling of it, but in the end, it's a necessary evil. Kind of like racial profiling (KIDDING!).

D-Coder · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

boog:
hoodaticus:
metric:
How many square feet is a square mile?
How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.
Yes, but if "multiplication" only involves moving a decimal point back and forth, any moron can do it.

[Puts on TDWTF-standard anti-VB hat]

But that's exactly why there are so many screwed-up measurements around. You make it easy, and any moron thinks they can do it. Sure, a few of them aren't really morons and can move decimal places around correctly, but most of them are just going to make a hash out of it, and confuse "milli" with "micro" or "mega", or lose count half-way through, or use some stupid foreign punctuation symbol instead of a real decimal point that looks like a point, or whatever.

Imperial measurements can only be handled by people who really and deeply understand measurements, and properly so!

[Takes off TDWTF-standard anti-VB hat]

hoodaticus · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
hoodaticus:
metric:
hoodaticus:
sotian:
TWTF not using Metric
Right, because multiplication by a constant is too difficult.
Oh wait, you do that in metric, too.

How many square feet is a square mile?

How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.

If this is beyond your grasp, there is little hope for you.

Insults are usually a good sign that you don't have any good arguments left. All constants aren't equal. I'll demonstrate it for you:

One mile is 5280 feet (I had to look it up, but you might know it by heart). That number we square using a calculator to get 27 878 400 square feet.

One kilometer is 1000 meters. Square that in your head to get 1000 000 square meters.

Doing it in your head is TRWTF. It's also my point.

hoodaticus · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Rick:
Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.
I think maybe he was intending to offend the retard who wrote that offensive code.

You know what's more offensive than that? Dictating to everyone what they can and cannot say based on your high-and-mighty personal preferences. Fuck off, retard.

(in reply to Bob - sorry)

frits · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

the script kiddie:
pet hate of mine, people getting units dimensionally wrong. especially when people quote energy usage in KW/h . That one, especially, makes me cry on the inside.

Good job! I see you've put some work into that.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

"even the passwords needed to access the server where the codebase (and production application) resided."

Understand that phrase, I do not.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

caper:
"even the passwords needed to access the server where the codebase (and production application) resided."
Understand that phrase, I do not.

Good god, I thought I was the only one...

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

or TOT_LEN_FURLONGS_PER_FORTNIGHT_AREA nvarchar(255)

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

MarkMc:
or TOT_LEN_FURLONGS_PER_FORTNIGHT_AREA nvarchar(255)

That's mean... You just know that there is some poor schmuck with OCD who will read this and will take them the next 17 days to decypher.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Alex Papadimoulis:
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?

I don't know about the article... seems pretty iffy to me as a WTF. I guess it's maybe a 4.

TRWTF today on other hand, is all of the idiocy in the comments. People arguing over units, others debating political correctness, some obviously missing various points. And I wish it were isolated to just today's article, but sadly, it isn't.

There are a few funny and intelligent people here, but most of you are you are as stoopid as a rock. A rock with an missing chromosome. I say that with respect to anyone who is in possession of a legitimate retard.

intertravel · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Total_Length_SQFT

That makes total - well, some - sense if you have Total_Length (and presumably can infer/assume width), and then calculate the area from it. I have to admit, I do this kind of thing for (meagre) laughs every now and again - whilst making sure I comment the shit out of it so it's obvious. But yeah, a bit of light entertainment isn't such a bad thing, and if the variable naming structure you're using throws up something a bit silly (like an area string called Total_Length_SQFT) then grin at it, comment it, leave it in.

Leave 'hahahhahahaha' in the comments occasionally for extra credit. Preferably with no other comment nearby.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

bar:
Alex Papadimoulis:
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?
About 42 point Londres SQACRES.

You're going to have to say that again... maybe in units that aren't hyperdimensional.

LANMind:
Alex Papadimoulis:
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?

I don't know about the article... seems pretty iffy to me as a WTF. I guess it's maybe a 4.

TRWTF today on other hand, is all of the idiocy in the comments. People arguing over units, others debating political correctness, some obviously missing various points. And I wish it were isolated to just today's article, but sadly, it isn't.

There are a few funny and intelligent people here, but most of you are you are as stoopid as a rock. A rock with an missing chromosome. I say that with respect to anyone who is in possession of a legitimate retard.

Idiot users are the curse of web2.0. A few years ago I was in a college databases class and decided (as a very bored nerd) that I should make an open source equivalent of bash.org as my final project. I added a comment feature so people could discuss a given quote. You could comment on quotes, and comment on other people's comments, etc.

Then I realized that letting retards comment on other retards was not just a bad idea, it was a truly horrible idea.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
I am not a nice person but at least my kids aren't retards:
C-Octothorpe:
...karma... ...fate-tempting post...
Unlike you I'm not tree-fucking new age hippie flower fairy, so I'll take my chances. Go listen to some gregorian chants or whatever it is you people do.

Good try, however I am not a "tree-fucking new age hippie flower fairy", nor do I listen to "gregorian chants"...

Whatever you say you fucking hippie scum.

C-Octothorpe:
I'm sure that attitude will get you very far in life.

And you would be right. Just asking my employees, or my wife, or my non-retarded kids, or my bank manager, or the guy that services my SRT-8. Karma's a bitch alright - a pathetic little bitch, just like you fucking hippies.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.

I laugh out loud at this. Post speaks of foolish measurement system imposed on U.S. by British imperialism, and you speak of foolish sport imposed on India by same imperialists. Joke for both is that British empire has declined and citizens still behaving like serfs to them.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

LANMind:
Alex Papadimoulis (unregistered):
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?

I don't know about the article... seems pretty iffy to me as a WTF. I guess it's maybe a 4.

TRWTF today on other hand, is all of the idiocy in the comments. People arguing over units, others debating political correctness, some obviously missing various points. And I wish it were isolated to just today's article, but sadly, it isn't.

There are a few funny and intelligent people here, but most of you are you are as stoopid as a rock. A rock with an missing chromosome. I say that with respect to anyone who is in possession of a legitimate retard.

Pot, meet kettle. After all, you're the one replying to an unregistered user. Don't you think that, just maybe, Alex is registered on his own site? Replying to troll posts is a fundamental part of the problem round here.

intertravel · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

metric:
hoodaticus:
metric:
hoodaticus:
sotian:
TWTF not using Metric
Right, because multiplication by a constant is too difficult.
Oh wait, you do that in metric, too.

How many square feet is a square mile?

How many square meters is a square kilometer?

I think that settles it.
It settles nothing - you still multiply by a constant and then square it. The only difference is the constant.

If this is beyond your grasp, there is little hope for you.

Insults are usually a good sign that you don't have any good arguments left. All constants aren't equal. I'll demonstrate it for you:

One mile is 5280 feet (I had to look it up, but you might know it by heart). That number we square using a calculator to get 27 878 400 square feet.

One kilometer is 1000 meters. Square that in your head to get 1000 000 square meters.

Is 5280 squared harder to work out in your head than 1000 squared? Don't think so. Not my fault you're a retard. Just think of it as 165 squared times 32 squared. Aren't you supposed to be a programmer? And you can't spot natural multiples of powers of two?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Bob:
hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.
Mental issues are nothing to be joked about, as any parent with a disabled child can tell you. Please refrain from this language in the future as it is patently offensive.

Damn, they'll let anyone patent anything these days. Must have used one of those Texas courts. What a bunch of retards.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.

I gotta give you credit for being able to follow a sport whose games can last 5 days long...

Jokes on you, this is one day cricket.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Ralph:
frits:
Everything should be designed for morons.
Yeah. Like my shiny new zapomatic 1000Kw/h per second ray gun. It specializes in morons.
I am so damn sick of living in a world where everything is designed for morons, because I am not a moron.

I've got some bad news for you sunshine, we're all morons. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a moron.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

boog:
Metric just makes sense, while imperial units are, well, dumb.

Not dumb, just arbitrary.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

I am not a nice person but at least my kids aren't retards:
my SRT-8

Ahh, wife and kid beating white trash... Just like I figured. Tell me, does your gun rack match your truck?

BTW, inbreeding doesn't produce retarded children, just ones slightly below the bell-curve.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Reading Nagesh's comments made me think of this.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Anon:
C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.

I gotta give you credit for being able to follow a sport whose games can last 5 days long...

Jokes on you, this is one day cricket.

Or 0.5 metric weeks.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
The British Empire stuck a lot of things to us. We have been trying to get out for a long time. Their experiements on the population also result in alot of Anglo Indian (mix bred) people being born in the sub continent.

Sounds like they stuck a lot of things in you, not to you.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

kastein:
bar:
Alex Papadimoulis:
There have been a lot of complaints on the articles lately, so I thought I'd do a quick survey. On a scale of 1-10, how does this article rate compared to all the rest published in the month of March?
About 42 point Londres SQACRES.
You're going to have to say that again... maybe in terms that I understand.

Sure: You have been trolled. Got it now?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Anon:
C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.

I gotta give you credit for being able to follow a sport whose games can last 5 days long...

Jokes on you, this is one day cricket.

Bwahaha, he confused 5-day-cricket and 1-day-cricket? What a moron!

PS: What's cricket?

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
Tell this retard to do us all a favor and never touch an RDBMS again.

I honestly don't know what's the problem with using a VarChar to contain the length measurements of square feet.

It's obviously to cater for the "File not found" value possibility.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

I think the key is to yell at Akismet. :)

augue - ok, maybe you have to augue with akismet...

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

fritters:
Replying to troll posts is a fundamental part of the problem round here.

Is not.

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
I gotta give you credit for being able to follow a sport whose games can last 5 days long...

Indeed. And after those 5 days, more often than not, the result is "undecided".

The girls at the office are teaching me the finer points of cricket as we watch (I mean WORK). And I'm South African I'm supposed to stop watching since our team choked again...

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

because it appears the Total_Length_SQFT is represented by square feet (sq. ft.) :P

2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Indeed - and 165 squared is simply 11 squared times 15 squared, both of which you should know by heart, so 5280 squared is simply computed by multiplying 121 by 225 by 1024, which anybody should clearly be able to do in their head as easily as moving a decimal point 3 places to the right.

Nagesh · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.

I gotta give you credit for being able to follow a sport whose games can last 5 days long...

Have you not heard of 1 day international? Now there is also 20-20. Which century are yuo living in?

Nagesh · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

DonaldK:
C-Octothorpe:
I gotta give you credit for being able to follow a sport whose games can last 5 days long...

Indeed. And after those 5 days, more often than not, the result is "undecided".

The girls at the office are teaching me the finer points of cricket as we watch (I mean WORK). And I'm South African I'm supposed to stop watching since our team choked again...

Lance Klusener most famous south african crickter known in India.

Nagesh · 2011-03-30 Reply Admin

Boris Vladamir:
Nagesh:
Today India / Pakistan world cup semi-final. Looks like India is winning.
I laugh out loud at this. Post speaks of foolish measurement system imposed on U.S. by British imperialism, and you speak of foolish sport imposed on India by same imperialists. Joke for both is that British empire has declined and citizens still behaving like serfs to them.

So we had draw with England, but each time they play we hand their ass to them.

Fundamental Misunderstanding

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