• Dirge (unregistered)

    SMS packages could be deployed to a user, a group, or the entire network, and for better or worse, would run without any interaction from the user.

    If anyone is curious as to why this is, the answer is "because SMS is designed to install software using an account with administrative access to the target system, as opposed to the currently logged-on user".

    Allowing the user to see a window that belongs to the SMS user context opens up the system to a privilege-escalation exploit. SMS will allow you to override this setting, but it's not recommended. I'm sure there are ways to mitigate the vulnerability, but MS hasn't implemented them.

    There is a related class of exploit called a "shatter attack" that takes advantage of a quirk of Windows' design. If there is no user logged on to a machine (on console, not RDP), and (for example) an SMS task runs which has that "allow interaction with desktop" option selected, Windows will create a "Window Station" for any of the GUI-type stuff to take place in. As of XP/2003 at least, if those GUI elements stuck around (an unexpected dialogue waiting for OK to be clicked, for example) and a real user logged on on console, they would be dumped into that administrative-account-context Window Station rather than having a new one created for them. So now that user has admin rights on all of the workstations at least. If the SMS admins are using the out-of-the-box defaults from SMS 2.0 and 2003, the user on the workstation is acting as a domain admin.

  • Joel (unregistered) in reply to pink_fairy
    pink_fairy:
    Jay:
    Isaac Eiland-Hall:
    One call, a lady asked me how to print on both sides of the paper.

    What I intended to answer was, "Well, ma'am, first you have to get double-sided paper.

    Aisle 1: Double-sided paper

    Aisle 2: Moebius paper

    In an effort to destroy all possible humor by over-analyzing: photo and presentation paper are often "one-sided" in the sense that only one side has the coating or texture and thus only that side is intended to be suitable for printing. And of course if you're talking label stock, that's always "one-sided".

    In another sense, I think the New York Times is a very one-sided paper.

    Now, that's what I call tech support. I've been reading the same issue of the Times for the last goddamn fifteen years.

    I wouldn't mind, but after the first ten minutes or so, it got kind of boring and repetitive. There's only so much enthusiasm I can summon up for a never-ending article entitled "In Tashkent, Silk Means Worms." (cont. page 8, although for some reason I never got to read the edifying conclusion.) And now I realise I could have saved fifteen years (minus ten minutes) of heartache by purchasing the goddamn thing from Aisle 1 rather than Aisle 2...

    What is it with these stupid headlines in "national" American papers, anyway? I mean, nobody has spoken like that since Alexander Hamilton volunteered to play scissors, paper, rock with Aaron Burr. (Tragedy ensued.)

    You need to look at the Op-Ed page, my good man, where some git who thinks he's a left-winger takes an unsustainably ignorant but diametrically opposed position to the unsustainable stupid opinion of some other git who thinks he's a right-winger.

    I think I have that right. Either way; hardly one-sided.

    Wow, that comment made almost as much sense as the original article.

  • Corion (unregistered) in reply to nobody
    nobody:
    aggle-rithm:
    Protector one:
    So the protagonist is the messer-upper? That's... unusual! The WTF-story template always has the intelligent protagonist be an observer! And how did poor old John manage to mistakenly push SkyNet to all systems?

    Here's what happened:

    1. The SMS package I sent did not go through for some reason.
    2. The customer called back on second shift and said he hadn't received it yet.
    3. The second shift person sent the wrong package, and to the wrong destination -- everybody, rather than the customer who had called.
    4. Every system that was incompatible with the package (over half of them, if I remember correctly) was brought to its knees, requiring a very lengthy rebuild.
    5. I didn't see the offending package myself, but was told it was marked "DO NOT SEND THIS PACKAGE..."
    6. Despite losing the company a multi-million dollar contract, he was not fired. It was considered a training issue.

    perhaps Jake should have read your submission

    Sounds like a training issue.

  • Worf (unregistered) in reply to crown royal
    crown royal:
    ............................................................click

    Ok, I right clicked.

    Now what?

    That was a middle-click. Or the in-between-left-and-middle click, depending how wide your browser window is... but no where near the right.

  • Keybounce (unregistered) in reply to Worf

    No,no,no, those are all wrong clicks.

    The right click is the one you hear just before the roof falls, rocks fall, everyone dies, and no one gets into the tomb.

  • Steve (unregistered)

    Ha! Clip from TFA below. I went through that last week during layoff#2_09. Coffee sucks again, workers are back to adequate.

    He didn't want the job to be over, he wanted to stay! Suddenly he gained an appreciation for the posters of abstract art in the conference rooms; they were no longer bland and generic, they leapt off the slightly yellowed glossy poster print, oozing with emotion. He became drunk on the intoxicating bouquet of the burnt coffee. His co-workers weren't "adequate," they were shining beacons of knowledge; John, the freaking idiot who'd sent the wrong package didn't deserve the honor of basking in their brilliance. His brain continued its battle against itself. You probably sent the right package to the wrong system, it teased. Or, he thought as he swallowed hard, you distributed the wrong package to the entire network. A wave of panic engulfed him, and his entire body felt hot.

  • no (unregistered)

    this story was quite a let down because of how poorly written the ending was.

  • Problem Sleuth (unregistered) in reply to Anonymouse
    Anonymouse:
    Punch boss in the nose to establish dominance.
    After that: pose as a team, because SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
  • Tyler Banks (unregistered) in reply to Isaac Eiland-Hall

    Stream, my friend, is not defunct. In fact, I worked that same job supporting HP printers at their site in Hillsboro, Oregon.

    Granted, I was there to take the sweet training pay and leave before they noticed how they had written their contracts incorrectly (4 weeks of F/T training at $12 was supposed to turn into minimum wage if you left before you worked the phones but they messed up the exact wording so I didn't get dinged).

    Anyways, they still exist. And they still suck. Do a Google search for TUBERCULOSIS, STREAM, and HILLSBORO and you'll see what I mean.

    Peace, Tyler

  • sudo ku (unregistered) in reply to Dirge
    Dirge:
    SMS packages could be deployed to a user, a group, or the entire network, and for better or worse, would run without any interaction from the user.

    If anyone is curious as to why this is, the answer is "because SMS is designed to install software using an account with administrative access to the target system, as opposed to the currently logged-on user".

    Allowing the user to see a window that belongs to the SMS user context opens up the system to a privilege-escalation exploit. SMS will allow you to override this setting, but it's not recommended. I'm sure there are ways to mitigate the vulnerability, but MS hasn't implemented them.

    There is a related class of exploit called a "shatter attack" that takes advantage of a quirk of Windows' design. If there is no user logged on to a machine (on console, not RDP), and (for example) an SMS task runs which has that "allow interaction with desktop" option selected, Windows will create a "Window Station" for any of the GUI-type stuff to take place in. As of XP/2003 at least, if those GUI elements stuck around (an unexpected dialogue waiting for OK to be clicked, for example) and a real user logged on on console, they would be dumped into that administrative-account-context Window Station rather than having a new one created for them. So now that user has admin rights on all of the workstations at least. If the SMS admins are using the out-of-the-box defaults from SMS 2.0 and 2003, the user on the workstation is acting as a domain admin.

    What a well informed response, but no, we're not curious. Not curious in the least mate. Don't give a kangaroos butt. Where exactly do you think you are? Nobody reading TDWTF wants to read or learn anything. Get with the program and make an idiotic comment or write some pseudocode or just lash out at someone.

    Lame WTF too. About as interesting as the "CD tray cup holder" or "I can't find the 'enter' key"

  • Joseph Z. (unregistered) in reply to Zapp Brannigan

    NO HE CAN'T!!!!!

    [push]

    shoomp.

  • AnyonymousOrSmthing (unregistered) in reply to non - sensical
    non - sensical:
    ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD

    HYPNOTOAD!!!

    O_O
  • Protector one (unregistered) in reply to aggle-rithm
    aggle-rithm:
    Here's what happened:
    1. The SMS package I sent did not go through for some reason.
    2. The customer called back on second shift and said he hadn't received it yet.
    3. The second shift person sent the wrong package, and to the wrong destination -- everybody, rather than the customer who had called.
    4. Every system that was incompatible with the package (over half of them, if I remember correctly) was brought to its knees, requiring a very lengthy rebuild.
    5. I didn't see the offending package myself, but was told it was marked "DO NOT SEND THIS PACKAGE..."
    6. Despite losing the company a multi-million dollar contract, he was not fired. It was considered a training issue.

    Ah, thanks for clearing that up.

    (Man, comments move fast here.)

  • (cs) in reply to Ringed Fingers
    Ringed Fingers:
    Some of us leave the middle finger on the scroll wheel/open new tab in firefox button and the ring finger on the right button. Back in the days of 2 button mice yeah I'd agree, the ring finger had no function.

    With that kind of 3 finger configuration carpal tunnel here I come. Or maybe my mouse is too small. Or my hands too big.

  • (cs) in reply to Protector one
    aggle-rithm:
    Here's what happened:
    1. The SMS package I sent did not go through for some reason.
    2. The customer called back on second shift and said he hadn't received it yet.
    3. The second shift person sent the wrong package, and to the wrong destination -- everybody, rather than the customer who had called.
    4. Every system that was incompatible with the package (over half of them, if I remember correctly) was brought to its knees, requiring a very lengthy rebuild.
    5. I didn't see the offending package myself, but was told it was marked "DO NOT SEND THIS PACKAGE..."
    6. Despite losing the company a multi-million dollar contract, he was not fired. It was considered a training issue.

    So all the 1024 words of the front page write-up managed to not even tell us about steps 1-4. WTF? Jake needs some sleep or summat?

  • imu (unregistered)

    Almost reads like one of those lame BBS (or forum) games where someone starts a story in a thread and then others add a sentence or two onto it in their replies.

    It almost always leads to porn.

  • ath (unregistered) in reply to EvanED
    EvanED:
    aggle-rithm:
    Here's what happened:
    1. The SMS package I sent did not go through for some reason.
    2. The customer called back on second shift and said he hadn't received it yet.
    3. The second shift person sent the wrong package, and to the wrong destination -- everybody, rather than the customer who had called.
    4. Every system that was incompatible with the package (over half of them, if I remember correctly) was brought to its knees, requiring a very lengthy rebuild.
    5. I didn't see the offending package myself, but was told it was marked "DO NOT SEND THIS PACKAGE..."
    6. Despite losing the company a multi-million dollar contract, he was not fired. It was considered a training issue.

    I wonder if some of this information would have helped the presentation at all.

    I mean, I realize that the fact that they were transferring over 56K and John wanted to spend some time cowering in the corner of the conference room are important facts, and that a second tech sent the package after hours to the whole network is just fluff, but I think it could have made the story more engaging.

    What kind of modem did the second technician use? Maybe it was only 28.8. That would explain A LOT!

  • twatter (unregistered)

    Is there a wrong click?

  • adventurer (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    Pedantic:
    It appears the WTF is there is no WTF or that the story itself is so malformed that it's a 'Chose your own WTF' evidently.

    The boss says, "It looks like most of the systems are down." What do you do?

    If you decide to investigate the problem, turn to page 12. If you decide to wait it out, turn to page 20. If you decide to pop in a Jessica Simpson DVD, turn to page 69.

    turns to page 69

    "The DVD player is in a puddle of cat piss and it electrocutes you when you touch it. You are dead."

  • illtiz (unregistered)

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. The technician had sent out an SMS package named "DO NOT SEND" to the whole network. Long live the technician!

  • chl (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward:
    It was like someone had taken a WTF, compressed it down to Twitter-size, then tried to make a full story out of what was left.

    That's how the script for the movie "Starship Troopers" was made.

    chl

  • (cs) in reply to JL

    [quote user="JL"] [/quote]Looks like Jake only used points 4 and 5... A pity, since the story is kind of pointless without the rest. I assume from your reaction that the office decoration ponderings and morning-after anxiety were fabricated for comedic effect.[/quote]

    Yep, pretty much.

    My exact words in the submitted version were, "I got a little nervous."

  • (cs) in reply to theFarseeker
    theFarseeker:

    Well, about 10 years ago I worked at an office that sounds very similar to the one in question in the story (only in Australia) - if he pushed out a 300mb package to the entire network (which someone there did once), and lets say that there's 30 remote sites, then you're going to chew up the bandwidth of 30 remote sites for hours while the 300mb package is deployed (in our case it was a licensed product that was deployed to over 900 PCs, and they sure has hell didn't have 900 licenses for it and they had to be removed one by one).

    Sure, it's not mentioned whether or not this is relevant to the story, but I think that topic has been covered enough!

    It was 10 years ago, but not in Australia. It was in Texas.

    Side note: When one of our customers found out they were talking with someone in a Texas call center, they would sometimes become outraged, as if we expected them to walk the distance instead of simply talk on the phone. If only they knew what the future held...

  • biziclop (unregistered) in reply to aggle-rithm
    aggle-rithm:
    Protector one:
    So the protagonist is the messer-upper? That's... unusual! The WTF-story template always has the intelligent protagonist be an observer! And how did poor old John manage to mistakenly push SkyNet to all systems?

    Here's what happened:

    1. The SMS package I sent did not go through for some reason.
    2. The customer called back on second shift and said he hadn't received it yet.
    3. The second shift person sent the wrong package, and to the wrong destination -- everybody, rather than the customer who had called.
    4. Every system that was incompatible with the package (over half of them, if I remember correctly) was brought to its knees, requiring a very lengthy rebuild.
    5. I didn't see the offending package myself, but was told it was marked "DO NOT SEND THIS PACKAGE..."
    6. Despite losing the company a multi-million dollar contract, he was not fired. It was considered a training issue.

    Thanks for the clarification. Beats me why anybody thinks it's better to blow it up to 1000 words and then forget to add the punchline.

  • Bored (unregistered)

    Worst WTF (writing) ever?

  • lbbd (unregistered)
    "No, it's not write 'click', it's right click, like click the button on the right-hand side." John R. realized his mistake as he said it.

    "I already am holding the mouse with my right han-"

    "I mean the button under your ring finger."

    When I was in desktop support, we got used to calling it a "wrong click" after spending 30 minutes with a user trying to explain how to get a menu to open. The user insisted that they were clicking the right mouse button. She thought I was asking if she was clicking the correct one.

  • Lame (unregistered)

    Can we PLEASE stop with the creative-writing WTF's and go back to the good old days when actual WTFs were posted? If I want to read creative writing, I'll read creative writing from somebody that is good at it. If I want to see horrible WTF code, I come here.

  • (cs) in reply to Dirge
    Dirge:
    SMS packages could be deployed to a user, a group, or the entire network, and for better or worse, would run without any interaction from the user.

    If anyone is curious as to why this is, the answer is "because SMS is designed to install software using an account with administrative access to the target system, as opposed to the currently logged-on user".

    Allowing the user to see a window that belongs to the SMS user context opens up the system to a privilege-escalation exploit. SMS will allow you to override this setting, but it's not recommended. I'm sure there are ways to mitigate the vulnerability, but MS hasn't implemented them.

    There is a related class of exploit called a "shatter attack" that takes advantage of a quirk of Windows' design. If there is no user logged on to a machine (on console, not RDP), and (for example) an SMS task runs which has that "allow interaction with desktop" option selected, Windows will create a "Window Station" for any of the GUI-type stuff to take place in. As of XP/2003 at least, if those GUI elements stuck around (an unexpected dialogue waiting for OK to be clicked, for example) and a real user logged on on console, they would be dumped into that administrative-account-context Window Station rather than having a new one created for them. So now that user has admin rights on all of the workstations at least. If the SMS admins are using the out-of-the-box defaults from SMS 2.0 and 2003, the user on the workstation is acting as a domain admin.

    Nope, that's wrong.

    Shatter attack used a fact that one could send specifically crafted window messages (and initiate WM_TIMER messages) to a window belonging to a process running with different credentials, causing memory overwrite and arbitrary code execution. But only to the window on the current desktop. If a service that runs as LOCAL_SYSTEM creates a window on the user's desktop (for example, for a taskbar notification icon) you could use that window to take over the privileged process. This was mitigated in XP SP2, and completely eliminated in Vista/WIndows 2008.

  • ih8u (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    "DO NOT SEND THIS WTF PACKAGE!!"

    More like "DO NOT SUBMIT THIS WTF STORY" (without a review checking for a cohesive story line)

  • ih8u (unregistered) in reply to adventurer
    adventurer:
    JamesQMurphy:
    Pedantic:
    It appears the WTF is there is no WTF or that the story itself is so malformed that it's a 'Chose your own WTF' evidently.

    The boss says, "It looks like most of the systems are down." What do you do?

    If you decide to investigate the problem, turn to page 12. If you decide to wait it out, turn to page 20. If you decide to pop in a Jessica Simpson DVD, turn to page 69.

    turns to page 69

    "The DVD player is in a puddle of cat piss and it electrocutes you when you touch it. You are dead."

    No NO! Wait! I left my finger on the decision page. It doesn't count.

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to chl
    chl:
    Anonymous Coward:
    It was like someone had taken a WTF, compressed it down to Twitter-size, then tried to make a full story out of what was left.

    That's how the script for the movie "Starship Troopers" was made.

    chl

    Using a top secret Twitter prototype?

  • Pony Princess (unregistered)

    Once I thought I screwed up badly at work. I was all panicked. But in fact I didn't, some other guy did lol.

  • (cs) in reply to Pony Princess
    Pony Princess:
    Once I thought I screwed up badly at work. I was all panicked. But in fact I didn't, some other guy did lol.

    Let me spruce that up for you, WTF style.

    It was a dark and dreary evening, John had spent all day sorting SIMMS into EDO and FPM because his bosses at UVN were so stupid they couldn't start a PowerPoint without calling the space station for help. Two weeks later people wouldn't talk to John and walked away from him and told him that there was a big screw up and MacroHard was going to drop their contract. Oh no! thought John! Had he accidently CC'd his customers the midget porn links he was saving for later?

    And that is why you never spray oven cleaner on a cat! Also, John just forgot to put on deoderant that day.

  • Nobody You Know (unregistered) in reply to alegr
    alegr:
    This was mitigated in XP SP2, and completely eliminated in Vista/WIndows 2008.

    Almost completely eliminated in Vista/Win2008. I don't have a setup on which I can test it, but I'm thinking maybe a program running as a local admin could still execute a successful privilege escalation by using a shatter attack against a program running as a domain admin.

  • Mitur Binesderti (unregistered)

    Just to clarify for everyone that doesn't want to read the pointless blathering so far:

    An idiot college student wrote a huge WTF on how he was an idiot and sent out something clearly marked "DO NOT EVER USE!" and instead of admitting that he screwed up he came here to try to make himself feel better about being a dumbass.

    Oh plus he's a terrible writer that can't get to the freaking point.

  • (cs) in reply to Nobody You Know
    Nobody You Know:
    alegr:
    This was mitigated in XP SP2, and completely eliminated in Vista/WIndows 2008.

    Almost completely eliminated in Vista/Win2008. I don't have a setup on which I can test it, but I'm thinking maybe a program running as a local admin could still execute a successful privilege escalation by using a shatter attack against a program running as a domain admin.

    You don't quite get what local admin means. Member of local Administrators (running not on a Restricted token in Vista/2008) also has Debug privilege. That means his process can open any other process ID with full access, if SE_DEBUG_PRIVILEGE is enabled. You don't need no stinking Shatter for that. As Raymond Chen says, you're already on another side of the airtight hatch.

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward:
    It was like someone had taken a WTF, compressed it down to Twitter-size, then tried to make a full story out of what was left.

    Obviously they used a very lossy compression algorithm. Perhaps whomever was responsible should consider something lossless next time.

  • Cupid Stunt (unregistered) in reply to Zapp Brannigan
    Zapp Brannigan:
    nerfherder:
    So in your version did Jessica push the SMS package?
    Sort of. I was the SMS package delivery guy. But it also involved a pillow fight which escalated into a tickle fight and then everyone's clothes fell off.
    But of course it was all done in the best possible taste!
  • (cs) in reply to Mitur Binesderti
    Mitur Binesderti:
    Just to clarify for everyone that doesn't want to read the pointless blathering so far:

    An idiot college student wrote a huge WTF on how he was an idiot and sent out something clearly marked "DO NOT EVER USE!" and instead of admitting that he screwed up he came here to try to make himself feel better about being a dumbass.

    Oh plus he's a terrible writer that can't get to the freaking point.

    Just to clarify for everyone who doesn't want to read the pointless blathering in that comment:

    An idiot read the story and didn't get it. Then he read the comments and didn't understand them either. Then he posted an idiotic summary that actually screwed up the story even worse than the original article. He probably doesn't even realise he's a dumbass.

    Oh, plus he's a perfectly good writer, but his reading comprehension skills are near zero.

  • (cs) in reply to Ralph
    Ralph:
    Trevor D'Arcy-Evans:
    Do not read this comment!

    Crap!

    Aha, your reverse psychology failed, I didn't crap!

  • (cs) in reply to obediah
    obediah:
    Pony Princess:
    Once I thought I screwed up badly at work. I was all panicked. But in fact I didn't, some other guy did lol.

    Let me spruce that up for you, WTF style.

    It was a dark and dreary evening, John had spent all day sorting SIMMS into EDO and FPM because his bosses at UVN were so stupid they couldn't start a PowerPoint without calling the space station for help. Two weeks later people wouldn't talk to John and walked away from him and told him that there was a big screw up and MacroHard was going to drop their contract. Oh no! thought John! Had he accidently CC'd his customers the midget porn links he was saving for later?

    And that is why you never spray oven cleaner on a cat! Also, John just forgot to put on deoderant that day.

    Nice.

    Your story at least made me smile, unlike the original front page.

  • Comic Book Guy (unregistered) in reply to chl
    chl:
    That's how the script for the movie "Starship Troopers" was made.

    Worst movie EVER!

  • Joel (unregistered) in reply to NSCoder
    NSCoder:
    Ralph:
    Trevor D'Arcy-Evans:
    Do not read this comment!

    Crap!

    Aha, your reverse psychology failed, I didn't crap!
    Then doesn't that mean the reverse psychology worked?

  • MetaMan (unregistered) in reply to nerfherder
    nerfherder:
    So in your version did Jessica push the SMS package?

    I think the SMS package ended up all over Ms Fox's face.

    From what i hear, you can only see this director's cut on disc two from the Ultimate Wet Chocolate Justice Edition. :(

  • Chris (unregistered)

    Who clicks the right-mouse button with their ring-finger? Showing people your new ring might have adverse effects.

  • General Robert E Bombtheb******s (unregistered) in reply to Cupid Stunt

    Too few will get that reference, methinks.

    But I for one did genuinely LOL. :)

    TRWTF is that he left the stage far too soon... :(

  • General Robert E Bombthe b******s (unregistered) in reply to Cupid Stunt
    Cupid Stunt:
    Zapp Brannigan:
    nerfherder:
    So in your version did Jessica push the SMS package?
    Sort of. I was the SMS package delivery guy. But it also involved a pillow fight which escalated into a tickle fight and then everyone's clothes fell off.
    But of course it was all done in the best possible taste!

    Too few will get that reference, methinks.

    But I for one did genuinely LOL. :)

    TRWTF is that he left the stage far too soon... :(

    Admittedly my comment would have made more sense if I'd actually quoted correctly. What a very Reg Prescott mistake to make. :|

  • less fairy (unregistered) in reply to pink_fairy
    pink_fairy:
    What is it with these stupid headlines in "national" American papers, anyway? I mean, nobody has spoken like that since Alexander Hamilton volunteered to play scissors, paper, rock with Aaron Burr. (Tragedy ensued.)
    Seriously? You want a newspaper written in spoken language? I'd rather program in VALGOL..
  • someone (unregistered) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    This story reminds me of something very similar that happened to me once.

    A user called to complain that he couldn't type the word "book" because his keyboard only had one "o". So I tried to download a new USB cable to him over FTP. I prefer to use FTP rather than Unicode because I once dated a girl named "Wendy". But then the plumber told me that he couldn't find anything wrong with the piano. So I concluded that it was just too early to take a wait-and-see approach.

    You made my day!!!

  • Hans (unregistered)

    The same thing happened to me once.

    I was working on some complex code and happily submitted the code to the trunk. The next day the building's elevator broke! It seems the person who broke the elevator didn't realize you aren't supposed to jam the door open with brute force, as the door was a bit broken, hence the sign "Do not jam door open". Alas, I could not fathom why they would want to tempt fate by keeping that elevator running.

    Tada! A WTF story!

    </joking>

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