• (cs)

    Bah! Typical American Imperialist Hummer Driving Dog Capitalist propaganda:

    • Boasting of their illiterate ignorance while not realising that A-Z means A4@B68CDE3&FG9H?#I1!]JKLMN~O0PQRS5T7UVWXY2Z

    • Boasting of their 65486% complete quick HDD self test running on a hybrid Motorola 486 chip.

    • Boasting of their freedoms when their only free choice is the OK button

    • Boasting of their igonorance of the Polish language while not realising that "??263415" means "Overthrowing Evil American Overlords" that replaced "Overthrowing Evil Soviet Overlords" that replaced "Overthrowing Evil Nazi Overlords" that replaced "Overthrowing Evil Russian Overlords" that replaced "Overthrowing Evil Prussian Overlords" that replaced "Overthrowing Evil Mongol Overlords"...

    • Boasting of their 1 billion dollar cars (wait, that's USD - not real money)

    • Boasting of having banks with money (even USD3197.16 is better than nothing)

  • Wheaties (unregistered)

    I myself I have has never not been laughed funny hard up down. Simply eagerly wait. Next instruction please as pleasing please give to him. Look forward to more laughs as laughter bright. Smile face wear I.

  • Tama (unregistered) in reply to Derek
    Derek:
    With all the fancy internet translation tools out there now, I have a feeling that companies are starting to use those instead of actually hiring someone to do the translations thinking they can cut costs.

    Very likely. What amazes me though is that even with computer tools, they manage to mispell words...

  • (cs)

    Notice the TV's warranty states it will repair damage caused by misuse, as long as you didn't attempt to open or repair it and nothing shattered. So as long as nothing shatters due to electrical pressure when you plug the 110v TV into a 220v outlet as instructed, no problem.

    Also I wonder if the people replying to the first spam realized they're duplicating the URL in the title of their posts.

  • Falcon (unregistered) in reply to Wodin
    Wodin:
    Anonymous Organ Donor:
    Now that is impressive - this is the first time I've seen spam in here! now I know what you're all talking about!
    What SPAM? I thought it was the sequel to that TV manual.
    How readable does that "wow gold" spam look after seeing the TV manual?
  • 1 (unregistered) in reply to joemck (can't be bothered to sign in)

    Actually, it's NTSC 220v 50Hz.... try figuring that one out.

  • Thorsten (unregistered) in reply to Not THAT Alex
    Not THAT Alex:
    Fortunately my company is named Zaza-Azaaz. Phew! :P
    Well, I guess you'd still have problems with the '-'. :-)
  • (cs) in reply to Lev
    Lev:
    I'm loving the "no cacophony" on the last one.
    Yeah,not a word you often see in a manual
  • Maurits (unregistered) in reply to Thorsten
    Thorsten:
    Not THAT Alex:
    Fortunately my company is named Zaza-Azaaz. Phew! :P
    Well, I guess you'd still have problems with the '-'. :-)

    What? Why?

    Oh...

    You misread "A-Z" as "upper case letters from A to Z" rather than "any of the three characters A, hyphen, and Z."

  • Anthony (unregistered)

    I used to sell bluetooth adaptors (dongles). The marketing text on the back of the packaging read: "no more wired persecution"

  • iMalc (unregistered)

    Bah, too much cacophony in here today.

  • (cs) in reply to DFHawthorne
    DFHawthorne:
    Bah! Typical American Imperialist Hummer Driving Dog Capitalist propaganda:
    • Boasting of their illiterate ignorance while not realising that A-Z means A4@B68CDE3&FG9H?#I1!]JKLMN~O0PQRS5T7UVWXY2Z

    So what does a-z mean?

    a{}b<>cde-+fg=h'"i/.[jklmn;o:pqrs%t^uvwxy,z ?

    Or do I also boasting my illiterate ignorance?

  • Grammar Nazi (unregistered)

    ************** Overloaded!!!!!! *********************

    Ah English - it's a wonderful language.

  • Thoughts (unregistered) in reply to Derek
    Derek:
    In regards to that instruction manual, I think it's an actual direct translation of whatever language it was originally written in.

    I remember going to my parents' house and seeing that they had some Chinese DVDs with accompanying English descriptions on the back of them. They were completely nonsensical and absolutely hilarious. I asked my dad about them and after he looked at them a bit, it turns out that the English descriptions were a direct word for word translation of the Chinese descriptions. Because the languages differ so much between structure and word use, it made the English translation completely useless.

    With all the fancy internet translation tools out there now, I have a feeling that companies are starting to use those instead of actually hiring someone to do the translations thinking they can cut costs.

    Is it just me or do you think instruction manuals have actually gotten worse over the past few years?

    I think there's little question there - but they're amusing nonetheless.... As for instruction manuals getting worse, I reckon that you (often/usually) get shorter instructions with anything you buy, and are expected to look on line for more comprehensive details.

    Troubleshooting sections tend to have really helpful suggestions like "If the Green light doesn't switch on, check that the power cord is plugged in" (then again, reading TDWTF for some time now, maybe such advice is necessary ;) )

  • Xythar (unregistered)

    I hereby reproduce verbatim the warnings page of the manual included with a DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) pad that I bought around 5 years ago:

    • Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured. Stop immediately If there is abnormal phenomenon in your foot, waist and back when using it.
    • Please take off your shoes when using this product, don't wear a smooth sock do not stack up other things around you, keep far away from walls and windows, find somewhere roomy to play.
    • There is maybe have some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.
    • Make sure to pave the cushion.
    • Don not put it near the furniture and other odds and ends.
    • Young children must be guided to use it or need parents and teaches to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it.
    • High technology pruduct, do no apart, separate or fix it anyway. Or the damage can not be guaranteed.
    • Do not keep it in the quite high or low temperature environment, especially far away from fireplace.
    • If this product can't work well, please connect with your supplier directly.
    • This product is made for indoor games only. Do not use it outdoors or in other occasion.
    • Please shut off the power before removing this product.
    • Please put it on a flat floor, but not too smooth.
    • Do not wear sharp shoes when using it, that may cause damage to the product.
    • When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safety.
    • Strong jump or shake may cause influence to the video and audio output.
    • Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.
  • Chewbacca (unregistered)

    I'm an actual real HP person, but I have no idea about that job opening thing, as I'm a "KV Mentor", which roughly translates to "Notebook Specialist".

    The "zillion-percent complete" problem is very known around these parts, and it's a harddrive malfunction (du-uuh!). It's because the size (heads, cylinders etc) reported by the disk is something like 1 or 0, and then the test starts to address them and keeps going until the disk says "out of bounds". ... at 2903273094872437%, or something to that effect.

    Added to that is the "Short" test taking 3 hours, and the "Long" test taking just under a second. Similar kind of problem.

    Hence the standard questions from our first-line agents: "How long did the test take?" "What percentage did it complete at?"

    Very usable troubleshooting information, actually!

  • MadCow (unregistered) in reply to Derek
    Derek:
    I remember going to my parents' house and seeing that they had some Chinese DVDs with accompanying English descriptions on the back of them. They were completely nonsensical and absolutely hilarious. I asked my dad about them and after he looked at them a bit, it turns out that the English descriptions were a direct word for word translation of the Chinese descriptions. Because the languages differ so much between structure and word use, it made the English translation completely useless.

    You should try to Google up "Backstroke of the West". :-)

  • ksjhjd (unregistered)

    Every Living Person Has Problems. http://www.ksjhjd.com

  • (cs) in reply to Xythar
    Gnubeutel:
    I like how the IMAX error message seems to leap right at you.
    It looks so real!

    I thought two parts of Xythar's DDR dance pad instructions were particularly interesting:

    Xythar:
    * There is maybe have some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.
    Or snort it, or whatever... :)
    Xythar:
    * Make sure to pave the cushion.
    I'm really struggling to see how this could help. Surely the cushion would be softer if we didn't pave it?

    Oh, and as for James Rummell's car... I think he should have just sucked up the higher payments during the loan; that's a pretty extreme balloon payment there. Nice car, though (I presume).

    I think the Anysee "You should reboot a computer!" dialog is meant to be more of a general life proverb than specific advice. Have you rebooted a computer today?

  • (cs)

    The Chinglish reminds me of fireworks that a friend of mine bought for New Year celebrations. In Dutch, instead of "Vuurwerk niet in de hand houden" (do not hold fireworks in the hand), it said "vuurwerk niet in de hond houden" (do not hold fireworks inside the dog).

    That's one I really don't want to imagine...

  • DWalker (unregistered) in reply to random.next
    random.next:
    The foliage often interferes with the snow on my TV too. But I'll deal with that later; now I need to go reboot a PC and run HDD diag.

    That was "voliage", not "foliage". "High voliage". That always interferes with the snow.

  • heretic (unregistered)

    "The enemy's gate is down... game on!"

  • (cs)

    Great!

    Now let's see thedailywtf.com in Cantonese -- I could do with a laugh.

  • Jay (unregistered)

    If that car price is in Zimbabwe dollars, it's pretty reasonable. U.S. dollars should be there soon. I'm looking forward to becoming a millionaire. Even if a million dollars is only enough to buy a postage stamp.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Organ Donor
    Anonymous Organ Donor:
    Now that is impressive - this is the first time I've seen spam in here! now I know what you're all talking about! Maybe I'll just click on those links. YEAH! That's the ticket to fame and fortune - spam-link-clicking! Maybe I'll just respond with my email address too. So awesome.

    REALLY, do people ever click on spam links like this in forums? That's a study I'd like to see. Now accepting government grants to begin actual research.

    If they get paid per click, how much yould that be for a DoS attack?

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Xythar
    Xythar:
    I hereby reproduce verbatim the warnings page of the manual included with a DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) pad that I bought around 5 years ago:
    • Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured. Stop immediately If there is abnormal phenomenon in your foot, waist and back when using it.
    • Please take off your shoes when using this product, don't wear a smooth sock do not stack up other things around you, keep far away from walls and windows, find somewhere roomy to play.
    • There is maybe have some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.
    • Make sure to pave the cushion.
    • Don not put it near the furniture and other odds and ends.
    • Young children must be guided to use it or need parents and teaches to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it.
    • High technology pruduct, do no apart, separate or fix it anyway. Or the damage can not be guaranteed.
    • Do not keep it in the quite high or low temperature environment, especially far away from fireplace.
    • If this product can't work well, please connect with your supplier directly.
    • This product is made for indoor games only. Do not use it outdoors or in other occasion.
    • Please shut off the power before removing this product.
    • Please put it on a flat floor, but not too smooth.
    • Do not wear sharp shoes when using it, that may cause damage to the product.
    • When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safety.
    • Strong jump or shake may cause influence to the video and audio output.
    • Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.

    I quite like the "damage can not be guaranteed". Think I've seen this more often already.

  • ca1977a (unregistered) in reply to Satanicpuppy
    Satanicpuppy:
    I've had all kinds of problems with Yahoo authentication as well. I signed up for a merchant account with them once, and it was set up such that I had to authenticate FIVE TIMES before I was allowed to actually manage my account. Same password every time, of course.

    Complete waste of time and money. They really need to get their act together.

    Ditto. I was forced to get a Yahoo account by the website for some software I was buying. It was the most annoying, confusing, unhelpful user-experience I've had in years. Just how am I meant to go about changing my name from "Chris" to "Chris"??

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    "BUILDER: PUNCH WHAT RESPONDENT WILL RATE IN Q.47 OR Q.47aa, PUNCH ALL THAT APPLY"

    Punch them all. Punch 'em right in the face

  • mmj (unregistered)

    I seem to have missed the WTF with the Google Talk error (4th one down I think). What is wrong there?

    Thanks in advance.

  • Anone (unregistered) in reply to mmj
    mmj:
    I seem to have missed the WTF with the Google Talk error (4th one down I think). What is wrong there?

    Thanks in advance.

    The X-Close button on the dialog isn't disabled.

  • teh mitto (unregistered) in reply to Anone

    No wonder the TV doesn't work: They couldn't decide which AC voltage to support!

  • mmj (unregistered) in reply to Anone

    OIC! They only have an OK button, no cancel (though they do have an X-close button)

    Thanks for the hint, I'm an idiot

  • Petey B (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Organ Donor
    Anonymous Organ Donor:
    Now that is impressive - this is the first time I've seen spam in here! now I know what you're all talking about! Maybe I'll just click on those links. YEAH! That's the ticket to fame and fortune - spam-link-clicking! Maybe I'll just respond with my email address too. So awesome.

    REALLY, do people ever click on spam links like this in forums? That's a study I'd like to see. Now accepting government grants to begin actual research.

    people spam not only for clicks, but for the google rank. Having a bunch of sites link to your page (even if its just in the comment section of a site) does help your page rank.

    NOW YOU KNOW

  • Steve Urkel (unregistered)

    What's a "game handle"?

  • rogueofmv (unregistered) in reply to T.C
    T.C:
    First comment!

    Boo yah!

    COMMENTATOR: PUNCH WHAT RESPONDENT WILL POST "FIRST" OR "FRIST" IN HYPOCRISY, PUNCH ALL THAT APPLY.

  • Pete Bebop (unregistered)

    i lik comeputirs and i am going to buy a knew one as soon as the lady from nijeria sends me the 8 millyun dolors that i gave her the monie frum my re-fi- 30 thosand i sent hir. i ate spam in the army and it wuz better than white castles.i have a commodore 64 with 32 mb hdee and I want to instal software i got from sara palin. it shows you where the people live who have no i.q and she can visit them.I try to fix my own computir but the inside is dirt so i washed it in now it must be mad cuz it sits there and is making smoke so i am helping nubee to install autocad on his and i am sending this.

  • Your Name (unregistered)

    Imagine what happens next, when that crappy English translation becomes translated to other languages. (IE Swedish). Then the bad turns into the totally incomprahensible.

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